Friday, March 24, 2006

Friday Bitchitude...

Happy Friday! This bitch is too excited about my trip to Chicago. Thanks to all the folks who sent ideas of what to do and how to get there.

A quick note...
A bitch was thrilled to see so many passionate responses to yesterday's post.

Yes, everyone needs to explore the policies on the table and whether they address real needs. That isn't a party thing, but rather one of those citizen based things that people tend to avoid in the hopes that someone or some party will do that 'hard work' for them and explain it all on a piece of direct mail.

A bitch is of the opinion that the masses need to get off of our asses and stop acting like politics happens to us. Our failure to move beyond the pouty stage is unacceptable and a passive forfeiture of our rights within the political process.

Ask people out for their your neighbors and relatives out for their bullshit...get vocal and reclaim the motherfucking system.

Assholes in office and confused party policies are not a 'get out of civic responsibility' card for any of us.

Moving forward...

A bitch heard about Dick Cheney's travel requirements or list of shit he expects when visiting someplace and it got me thinking...a bitch could use on of those BIG TIME!

ABB's Travel Requirements...a work in progress...

1. A bitch requires three boxes each of Sudafed and Claritin. She will not consume all of it at once, but is trying to stockpile meds (wink).

2. Vodka, ice and grape vast quantities, please.

3. A bitch requires TiVo...'nuff said.

4. 1% Organic milk and yummy Smartie-based munchables in bowls will be needed as well. (No one needs Smartie-based munchables in their bowels, Maven!! Lawd, a bitch needs an editor)

5. The television must be programmed to NEVER turn to FOX.

6. Please set the radio to funk music, neo-soul or jazz.

Lawd, a bitch may rethink my disdain of celebrity. These lists are fantabulous!


Maven said...

Um? I can't resist commenting on a post that contains "bowels."

Please for the love of the Sweet Merciful Baby Jesus... tell me you meant "bowls."

Cuz right about now, I've got a visual in my head of some smartie-studded boo-boo.

Oh and add to that... if you were travelling with me, not only would you not watch Fox... you wouldn't watch that equally loathesome channel, MSNBC.

What's your stance on me arranging your travel playlist? I've got an ecclectic mix of Jack Johnson, Miles, Nina Simone, Jill Scott... and I'm planning on getting that Ben Harper double disk set... and something by Lady Smith Black Mambazzo..... Oh you'll be chill'd!!

Shark-Fu said...

Lawd, you are too funny!


Oh well, blame it on spell check.

Proceed with my play list creation, Maven...fantabulous!

Anonymous said...

I'm seeing bush bumper stickers being scatched off around here.

I'm hearing bush jokes at the barber shop, by rednecks.

I'm meeting the educated driving a stupid truck with hate bush on their breath.

I'm met democrat appartment dwellers that were once republican home owners till they got sick.

I'm seeing mexicans walking in the streets mad at bush on TV.

I spoke to a young woman that lost her mamma in katrina. bush on TV made her eyes red, narrow, hateful, like spitting fire. Scary.

I see fear on condi's face.

I see desperation in bush's actions.

makes me salivate....this dead meat we are about to share...

heh heh heh

special anon

Anonymous said...

Bowels? bwaahahaaahaaa.


TwinsGoddess said...

ABB, have you got any of the 12-hour Sudafeds in that stockpile? Because I'm out and the f*cking Target pharmacy won't sell me any more until the end of the month.

BZZZT said...


Nice to have a good laugh from a witty mind to start the day with, especially during these times!!!

Have big fun in the Windy City.

In solidarity,


GayProf said...

Doesn't a bitch need half-naked go-go boys? Lord knows that a gay prof does.

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh. I love it. I want to add that I turn my TV to Fox to get some laughs as well. But the Daily Show is where I get the news.

Where is your amazon wish list so we can help you accumulate your list?

MPD said...

Nice style..I love it

CP said...

I know my pharmacist thinks I am running a crystal meth lab out of my house, with the amount of sudafed that I buy.

I had to start buying it at online drug stores, can you believe? I go through it like water and all the pharmacies around here won't sell me more than 3 boxes at a time! Hello? That's ONE WeEK of nasal relief for my family of four!

I doubt Crystal meth is nearly as good as a sinus free week.


Anonymous said...

I've had a rider for years. Standard travel style for diva. And an addendum for when Sweetie travels with me! Milk Bones and Beef Tips are a must for the well-traveled Chow.


Joe said...

Dear Shark-Fu:

I can't tell you how excited I was to have one of my colleagues bring back some Smarties from her trip to the UK last week (well, she only brought a few little mini-boxes, but it's the thought that counts). I have to confess, this is one British confection I haven't tried, even though I spent 9 months in an African ex-colony, where I got hooked on things like McVities' Hobnobs and Digestives. I made the Smartie request specifically because my mouth has often watered, due to reading A Bitch's frequent (dare I say maniacal?) raves about Smartie goodness. Now, I can see these little guys becoming addictive, but I'm not sure it's a jones that couldn't be fixed by plain ol' M&Ms. The main difference I detect is something about the candy-coating-to-chocolate ratio since the Smarties are tinier. I know you've riffed before on the difference between Smartie and M&M lusciousness, but I just don't see it. Sigh. It's sad not having the choco-connoisseur's palate that Bitch has been blessed with. (Thank goodness though; I have enough guilty pleasures without adding another to the list.) But thank you for turning me on to an appreciation of Smarties.

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