Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The clinch that got Trumped…

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

Y’all know how much I adore Newt Gingrich.  


I adore Newt for the guaranteed red-faced asshole moments that he brings with him wherever he roams...and I'm not 'shamed!

I was seriously bummed when he finally admitted that his ass didn’t have a chance in hell of winning the GOP nomination.


Anyhoo, with Newt out and Ron Paul behaving himself this bitch was convinced that the GOP was fixin’ to get their ducks in a row, impose the campaign lock-down loyalty oath-based control that they perfected when running Bush the II, and put on a show to transition the anointed one from If Elected I’ll Hate Just Like You Hate into I Want to be Everyone's BFF and Drink Beer With Y'al While Watching the Game candidate for the general election.

Y’all have no idea how upsetting it was to think that the blog content gods had abandoned me to months of carefully crafted ads featuring Romney’s Stepford family going on and on about how totally AWESOME he is.

I shouldn’t have doubted.

I should have had faith!

Because the blog content gods resurrected Trump the Birther just in time for Romney’s big delegate clinch!!


Trump got his ass on all over the television…he took on Wolfie B. on CNN to make his Birther claim…he's off message ALL OVER THE PLACE!

It got so bad that Newt Gingrich emerged to contradict Trump on his Birther claim with a desperate “Romney’s not distracted, the Republican Party is not distracted” mantra that, given the fact that Trump was still mouthing off and distracting the hell out of everyone, came across as more dream than reality.

I kid you NOT!

It's BEAUTIFUL, people.

Mitt’s been well schooled in how to present an expressionless face to the press…but even his ass struggled to hide his reluctance when trying to dodge questions about why he’s hanging out with Trump while Trump continues to rant about Obama’s citizenship.

Mayhap Romney thinks there’s something to gain from race-baiting Obama despite the fact that it didn’t pay off for the Dems in the '08 primary and it didn’t pay off for McCain in the general.

Or maybe Romney can’t control Trump but can’t figure out how to shake him either.

Could it be that Trump is bullying Romney (the former bully) and just won’t leave?


Romney has managed to look weak when challenged to provide some leadership on the Birther drama, easily bought cause what happens in Vegas rarely stays in Vegas when you fundraise in Vegas with the King of the Birthers, and politically immature when faced with a perfect set-up to look like the better dude and correct Trump.

And he did all that shit on the same day he finally wrap up the GOP nomination.


***logs off to make offering of gratitude to the gods of blog content***

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

That doesn’t smell like liberty to me…

Nothing screams “liberty” like a law taking health care decisions from the individual and giving them to that individual’s employer!

Yeah, that shit doesn’t sound right to me either.

The problem is that the majority in the Missouri Assembly thought voted to pass that bullshit off as protecting liberty when they voted to pass SB 749 this session.

You may not have heard of SB 749…but you need to take a moment and explore the texture and density so you know it for the stank pile of panderific bullshit that it is.

SB 749 assumes that government needs to protect employers from workers.  SB 749 goes about that by granting employers the right to deny healthcare coverage for birth control and sterilization based on that employer’s personal moral objection.

Pause…allow the bizarreness of that shit to marinate…continue.

It didn’t matter to legislators that birth control is healthcare and has been legal for decades.

It didn’t matter to them that workers have some liberty of their own to protect.

And they sure as shit didn’t factor in the fact that even insurance companies opposed this wretched shit.

Nothing mattered as much as pandering to the Bishops and those who want to thumb their nose at the Obama Administration.

So, now we’ve got a stinking piece of legislation gathering flies on the Governor’s desk…and a demand from we the people that he dust off his pen and give us the veto we deserve.

No word yet from Governor Nixon on what he plans to do…and I’m more than a wee bit disturbed that he didn’t announce a veto right off the bat.

But here we are and there it is.

SB 749 is another steaming example that state government isn’t always working on behalf of the people and that elections matter.

If you’re not a Missourian, don’t gloat…odds are some sort of wretched anti-individual bill is working or has worked it's way through your state government’s intestinal track too.

And if you have any doubt of the power of the conservative religious lobby to craft policy and regulate your life regardless of your values…

…follow the flies then breathe in and get a good sniff of what their new legislative product.

Makes your eyes water, don’t it?


Thursday, May 24, 2012

By request – Missouri, amendments, and the right to pray…

A certain Viv from Quebec City wrote to request an explanation of Missouri’s latest amendment-based fuckeduptitude that will bring before voter the question of whether to guarantee the right to pray in public and the right of students to refuse to do shit that violates their religious beliefs.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Why the hell not?

Here you go, Viv!

Governor Nixon signed a proclamation setting the election for what I like to call The Already Guaranteed Right to Pray and Soon to be Guaranteed Right for Students to get Their Hustle On Amendment.

We get to vote on this waste of time, paper, and resources August 7th.

Anyone who has ever been to an LGBT Pride festival, state fair, outdoor mall, charming little cafĂ© on the corner…um, walked to a hockey game, tried to walk into a grocery store…gone to get your Afro trimmed…I could go on and on…

Basically, all the public prayer and evangelizing going on in ‘hoods across the land is proof that we the people already have and often loudly exercise the right o pray in public.

Methinks this amendment has something to do with conservative organizers wanting to lure their flock to the voting booth.  Governor Nixon set an August election date so this shit won't be a useful tool to motivate public prayer adoring voters for the General Election in November. Tis like tasty kibble to those who enjoy feeling persecuted despite the lack of persecution…and it likely soothes the ruffled feathers of those who cross the line and disturb the peace then turn around and scream that their right to pray in public has been violated.

I’m much more interested in the second portion of the amendment.

Okay…I’ll confess – I’m a wee bit bitter that these fools didn’t propose a ballot initiative saying students couldn’t be compelled to participate in [insert class work here] that violates their religious beliefs way back in the day when I was a student in Missouri.

Oh, come on!  This is a hustle waiting to happen if I’ve ever seen one!

And yes, I would have been the student citing religious objections to all kinds of shit.


That frog dissection from hell in Junior High.

Pesky Latin translations that I neglected to prepare for.

I would have loved that shit!

But seriously, students are already protected from being compelled to do things that violate their religious beliefs. I had friends who didn’t say the Pledge of Allegiance because their religion states that their only allegiance is to God…and I had other friends who didn’t participate in Saturday events or Sunday events or sex education classes.  Not a one of them got in trouble or a failing grade.

The important thing to remember here is that amending the Missouri constitution to address shit that is already addressed is a favorite pastime here.

In keeping with that tradition, someone needs to propose an amendment guaranteeing the right of state legislators to waste the people’s time during session and fail to pass a jobs bill!


Monday, May 21, 2012

Pondering the wrongfully un-arrested…

I’d like to thank the New York City Reproductive Justice Coalition for the honor of participating in the Reproductive Justice Media Training.

My sisters, you are fantabulous and I am so honored to have participated!


The news is all a flutter about the results of a report showing that at least 2,000 people convicted on crime were later exonerated in the United States.  This news comes on the heals of news from Texas that a judge who reviewed the 2004 execution ofCameron Todd Willingham planned to posthumously exonerate him but never filed the paperwork.

That ain’t news to folks working at The Innocence Project or anti-death penalty activists…

…but it is news to all those people out there who like to think our criminal justice system is a shining example for the rest of the world.

So, here we are and there it is.

I can’t help wondering about the components within the criminal justice system that operate on the assumption that individuals have been rightly convicted.

What about the parole board?

I’m a crime buff, so I watch a lot of crime shows. When people appear before the parole board they are expected to apologize and explain how they now understand their crime and are prepared to never do it again. But if you are innocent…if you have always maintained your innocence and hope to one day be exonerated…well, those folk are usually chastised for not being reformed and denied parole.

Given the results of this study, will that assumption of a correct conviction be removed from the parole board’s consideration?  And how the hell is that shit done?

And then there is the appeals process which usually denies the convicted the right to challenge the case. Instead, the convicted person has to show that some part of the case was handled inappropriately. The devil is in the details there, because a case can be handled properly and the defendant could simply not have the funds to gather evidence to overcome the state’s case.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

We have a problem.

Our justice system is punishing innocent people.

It has killed innocent people.

And catch that knee and think for a moment…just think.

Exoneration does not automatically mean that a crime didn’t occur. It may, but it could just as easily mean that the wrong person was convicted for a very real crime.

For every wrongful conviction there is likely a criminal out and about in our communities…the wrongfully un-arrested who are free to continue and often shielded from arrest by a system allergic to self-examination.

Wrongful convictions are our problem…

…and none of us should sleep well with 2,000 cases exposed and who the fuck knows how many still lurking in the dark.


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Just another day of the Missouri GOP acting a fool...

This is the last week of the 2012 Session of the Missouri Assembly.

Thanks the Goddess!

And it’s a damned shame to look upon a legislative session as something to endure…to see elected officials as the enemy set to do you harm…and to wait anxiously to see what insulting public display of hating the masses they’ll come up with next.

That brings me back to this being the final week of session, yesterday’s public display of lout-based boorish ig'nance, and the alarming fact that state legislators still have four days left to show their natural ass.

Shall we?

I’ve made no secret of my disgust over Speaker Tilley’s plan to honor Rush Limbaugh in the Hall of Famous Missourians at the Capitol.  Limbaugh represents everything wrong with Missouri…racism, sexism, the ability of rich people to circumnavigate the criminal justice system while poor people convicted of the same crime languish in jail, and a tendency for the money elite of the state to bedazzle poor residents into voting against their own best interest through a manipulation of so-called social value issues.  But the same things that make me know Limbaugh is unfit for any honor at the Capitol are the very things that make those who benefit from that bedazzling at the polls want to honor him.

And so they have…in a partisan “ceremony” saturated in wrongness, reeking of political pander, and closed to the public despite the fact that it took place in the middle of the damn day during the final week of session on the floor of the Missouri House of Representatives.

Limbaugh arrived with 40 state troopers (did my tax dollars pay for that?) and was smuggled into the Capitol where Republican lawmakers and their staff greeted him much like North Koreans used to greet Kim Jung Il…and then Limbaugh was honored at an invitation only ceremony on the House floor that was closed to the public.

I can’t help but see yesterday’s theatre as metaphor for the 2012 Session.

It brought embarrassment and ridicule upon the Missouri Assembly, was done behind closed doors and the people were denied entrance…and the sole purpose appears to be kissing the ass of a rich white man who likes to spend his days insulting women, making racist jokes, bullying gays, calling for harsh legal repercussions for poor people convicted of drug crimes while feeling entitled to a pass his own damned self, and generally accomplishing nothing only to call it a day, grab a stogie, and kick back with the boys to make more racist jokes, laugh about how they bullied those gays (good times!), and then stroke their guns while muttering about how brown people are going to come flooding over the Missouri/Kansas border bent on steeling their liberty.


Monday, May 14, 2012

Y’all ain’t slick, Newsweek…

Shall we?

You’d have to live under a rock to have missed last week’s news that President Obama has evolved to the enlightened level of personally supporting same-sex marriage. 

While I’ve been hoping his evolution would swiftly take him to the level above support that my people call policy (cue crickets), I’ve also been waiting to see which news outlet would violently shit the bed on this story.

The prize goes to Newsweek.

Let me be clear…Newsweek won gold for the cover alone.

Here’s the thing – Obama’s announcement of his personal evolution to support same-sex marriage does not make him gay…or even a solid supporter of LGBT equality…and it sure as shit doesn’t make him the first gay president.

Sorry, Newsweek…but that shit works my last nerve just like people calling Bill Clinton’s ass the first black president because of his alleged support of policies beneficial to black people.

Advocating for equality rights for a group does not make a person of that group.

If President Obama comes out in June then y’all can plaster the cover with rainbows all you want.

But…yeah, um…supporting same-sex marriage does not make a person gay.

I find the Newsweek cover particularly troubling given this culture’s tendency to label anyone saying anything positive toward LGBT people as LGBT so they can then turn around and bully that person for being LGBT.

Now will come the defense that Andrew Sullivan wrote the Newsweek article…so a gay man wrote the article…and blah, blah, followed by blah…and I don’t get a shit.

Toni Morrison called Clinton the first black president…and her black ass was wrong.


Lawd help the first asshole that steps up with “gay is the new black”…


Thursday, May 10, 2012

On same-sex marriage and granting rights by popular opinion…

Shall we?

This is a historic moment and should be acknowledged as such.

When Missouri passed a constitutional amendment defining marriage as one man to one woman, I watched many a Missourian step forward and spout bullshit about how traditional marriage was being threatened by same-sex marriage and that marriage equality would destroy society and blah, blah, and blah.

The amendment passed in 2004.

50 percent of Missouri marriages still end in divorce.

The only thing that vote changed was the Missouri constitution.

North Carolina voters just used the ballot to bully same-sex couples wanting the right to marry and I can guarantee that not a damn thing is going to change regarding marriage in North Carolina except the law.


Anyhoo, President Obama got a lot right when he stated his belief that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry…

…but he got one big thing wrong.

This shit shouldn’t be left to the states…civil rights should not be decided by popular vote.

Interracial dating and marriage still isn’t popular. I recall an embarrassing public outcry in St. Louis when the St. Louis Post-Dispatch put an interracial couple on the cover of a magazine…and that was in 2009.

As for calls to move the Democratic National Convention from North Carolina because of their vote, I’ll leave that to party members and convention attendees to decide.

Just don’t come a’calling to St. Louis as an alternative because we were the runner up city. 

If marriage equality is the litmus test then Missouri fails that shit big time. LGBT Missourians can be fired for being out…same-sex marriage is illegal and banned…and state lawmakers want to make it illegal to discuss sexual orientation in schools.


Missouri is, however, a shining example of what happens when granting or denying civil rights is left up to the states to decide.


Wednesday, May 09, 2012

On the 2011-2012 Blues…

For the uninitiated – I’m a hockey fan and adore my beloved St. Louis Blues! If you haven’t checked NHL hockey out…do it, damnit!

Confession – I haven’t blogged about the NHL Playoffs because I’m superstitious as hell and the Blues were winning without my mentioning them online so…well, shit – never fuck with a winning streak!

Now that we’ve got that out of the way…

What to say, what to say, WHAT TO SAY?

The St. Louis Blues’ fantastic run came to an end Sunday when they were swept by those damn Kings.

Yes, I’m bitter…but I think the series with the Kings was a good learning experience for the Note.  Nothing exposes what a team needs to work on line playing a team that relentlessly exploits all of your weaknesses.


Anyhoo, the 2011-2012 season was still fantabulous.

The Blues stumbled out of the gate…couldn’t pull themselves together for the longest time…and then Coach Hitchcock came aboard and everything changed for the better.  I watched with pride as my team started playing hockey the right way and winning because of it.  They were a team to be feared and respected…and nothing made this fan more proud.

Alas, all good things must come to an end.

I’d hoped our run would end with the Blues hoisting Lord Stanley’s Cup…but that isn’t to be.

So, I’ll mourn the end of our season even as I enjoy the remaining post-season match-ups.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Shit, now I’ve got to choose a team still in the hunt to cheer for.


***logs off the check out The Hockey News*** 

Friday, May 04, 2012

Um, why are those exotic animals being returned to that widow?

Okay, y’all…I’m back.

Thank you all for your advice and encouragement!

Now…shall we?

Y’all remember last year when a bunch of exotic animals were released in the middle of the night by their owner in Ohio? 

Mmhmm, there were 911 calls from folks saying “I think I just saw a lion and bear fighting on my deck!” or “There’s a panther swimming in my pool!”

Okay, those aren’t exact quotes…but close.

Anyhoo, the owner killed himself after releasing his animals. Tragically, police concerned about an outbreak of suburban lion attacks killed a lot of the animals.  Some of the animals consumed the other exotic animals and…well, let’s just say it was a clusterfuck of a situation that made national news.

The crazy freak-out-and-bring-the-dogs-inside situation itself was newsworthy.

But the event also brought attention to the lax regulations of exotic animal ownership in Ohio.  In the aftermath, politicians pontificated about passing new laws while animal welfare activists pointed out the need to end the exotic animal trade in America.

Fast-forward to today…and go ahead and bring your dogs inside if you live in Ohio.

The widow of the owner who killed himself after releasing all those lions and tigers and bears just won the right to get the surviving animals back.

Even though there are concerns about the fact that cages have not been fixed.

Even though there are concerns about the conditions the animals were being kept in prior to last years fiasco.

And the choir asked… “How can this be, Shark-Fu? That doesn’t make a lick of sense!”

And The Shark replied… “Anti-regulation freaks in government strike again, my friends!”

Ohio is working on bills…but for some reason lawmakers think the ban on exotic animal ownership should not apply to current owners.  Even if the proposed legislation becomes law it will not apply to folks…and we’re talking about a lot of folks…who happen to have a lion or bear about the house.

I don’t even want to think about what the law says about animals born to animals already being held in Ohio.  Lawd, a person could have thousands of animals roaming outside of Columbus and it would be freaking legal!


This is Don’t Tread on Me gone wrong. 

Shit, I just spent a day lobbying a few Missouri legislators who would consider exotic animal regulation a mandate and oppose it even though it makes sense…cause “liberty ain’t easy” and “patriots gotta hold the line.”

Who wants to bet that the Tea Party solution to exotic animal drama is regular militia-based big game hunts in the burbs?

And don’t get smug just because you don’t live in Ohio…there aren’t any border fences between states and you can bet your ass the average pride of lions will just love getting their Heartland hunt on if another owner decides to liberate them from suburban bondage.

***clutches snack-sized sorta-beagles***


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