Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A pondering...

A bitch is feeling much better today. My ass is still illish, but nothing like last week.

Anyhoo, this bitch has been following the bizarre tale of the Missouri teacher who is now accused of the attempted murder of a student. The teen woman was left for dead in a field. The teacher is in custody. Mmmhmmm, this is another one of those shockers where people’s assumptions about one another are blown out the water.

When this story broke the local NBC affiliate ran a segment with a friend of the accused, who was beyond surprised by the allegations. The friend had just seen the accused the weekend prior when the accused served as his best man at his wedding. This, coupled with several years of friendship, led to the friend saying some interesting shit.

He had never seen his friend be violent. He has wrestled with the accused for several years and never noticed anything menacing. The accused was just fine at the wedding. He even danced! And so forth and so on.

As a crime buff, a bitch has read and viewed a lot of the same type of commentary regarding some of the world’s most heinous criminals. The notion of the foaming at the mouth predator lingers even after example followed by example of the clean cut fiend next door. Watch as many episodes of City Confidential on A&E as this bitch has and you’ll be able to write the fucking dialogue in your sleep.

“I just can’t believe it! He was such a great guy!


“This doesn’t make sense. They had such a terrific marriage.”

Even without my interest in crime stories this bitch would be skeptical of the idea of knowing someone that well…other than your own damned self...and that is a work in progress (wink).

And a bitch knows all too well that my ass doesn’t know a person’s life outside of what that person allows me know. Having grown up in one of those carefully maintained suburban ranch houses that appear to house fine upstanding families, my ass can personally testify to the level of drama one can conceal from the world outside.

So, a bitch is fascinated by the idea of knowing other people from their public image. Shit, this bitch heard some of the same shit during the last presidential campaign.

“Bush is such a good guy with a strong moral center.”

Really? How do you know that…from the advertising or the testimonials of other people who probably don’t really know him either?

Image doesn’t have shit to do with reality. And reality is often revealed in stages.

As my Play Husband often says about people…you don’t know their life.

Ask a child to draw a picture of a dangerous stranger and they tend to draw a monster. A bitch suspects we don’t really grow out of that shit.

Or mayhap it is better that we don’t, since no one wants to walk out the front door every morning and wave at a neighbor while pondering if he is the reincarnation of Ed Gein.

Just some thoughts.


Qusan said...

Dude looks like a psycho! Who's surprised?

Anonymous said...

Interesting comment you make regarding our idea of those who are dangerous as foaming at the mouth lunatics.This is something we are taught early on. I guess it is far too frightening to think otherwise. I mean, how utterly unnerving it is to contemplate the idea that anyone you run across could be some insane person. It is mind boggling at best.

leomange said...

very true. we are a silly bunch aren't we? people seem to think they can tell from looking at someone else that they a) have murderous tendencies, b) would/would not rape a stripper, c) have an std, d) and on and on...

willfully ignorant.

we show the world what we want the world to think of us, not our ugliest side (unless we're truly anti-social, but that's rare). from ted bundy to jeffrey dahmer, no one imagines these "nice guys" could do something like that. hell, btk was a church leader, father, husband, and so on, and he did some truly heinous sh--tuff.

and how many divorcees knew their exes were such (fill in the blank)s when they got married? exactly. it would be easy to be a good judge of character if people weren't such a sneaky, conniving group of animals. but we all have our skeletons, even the best of us.

Lisa said...

Excellent commentary, ABB. Totally true - you know of someone what they allow you to know and no more. I can attest to thinking and doing some shit that NO ONE knew about, not even those closest to me. Not that it was bad, it was just my bidness and no one else's, is all.

Glad to see you are feeling better. Hope the Neti Pot experiment works. I've never used one but hear good things about them.

Homer said...

All of his friends thought my father was the sweetest, nicest guy. Daddy was very careful to only scream and curse at us when they weren't around.

Anonymous said...

...Hmmmm...Disturbing as hell....Great post.. : )

Anonymous said...

Good points. It's kinda like that "Buckwheat Has Been Shot" SNL skit in the '80s:

(something to the effect of)
Reporter: "Are you surprised that he shot Buckwheat?"
Grade School Teach of John David Stutts: "Oh Yeah. That's all he ever talked about."

Do reporters actually ever think they're going to get answers like this?!

Michael M. said...

People certainly have different sides to them, but the surprise people feel is completely understandable. While you have a point about the uncertainties of relationships, the other side deserves attention. Most people are not murders. Only a few people commit such horrific crimes. Some people have hidden sides of themselves that turn out to be wonderful. I have had friends who then out of nowhere were revealed to be skilled artists or great singers. Amateur art shows, talent shows and even just karaoke outings have changed my mind about people I thought I knew. I found out a week or two ago about the humble volunteer work of some acquaintances. They never would have told me.

Plenty of the people who seem so nice from the outside are...

good people.

You're right about some things. We often have harmfully misleading ideas about how monsters should look. We all can make big mistakes in assessing situations and other people, and this crime illustrates the ugly side. It is not the only side.

Anonymous said...

Hey, that teacher is WHITE, so you leave 'im alone!

Anonymous said...

I disagree - having also grown up in a toxic household, I can usually see behind and below what others see as a clean facade. For one, I am instantly suspicious of clean cut, technically good-looking white men. But regardless of looks, within a few minutes of talking to a person and observing how he's watching me, I have correctly guessed the guy was up to no good. Once it was a potential boss everyone else loved.

It is a kind of silver lining of having been abused that one learns to anticipate it. The real pisser, though, is that one also sometimes is attracted to it, for reasons one cannot comprehend. This realization smacked me in the face two years ago when I saw that I'd been dating a sociopath - not a criminal one, but certainly a guy with a few rips in his soul.

Spring, Ph.D. said...

And yet we still teach our kids not to talk to 'strangers,' as though the dangerous strangers somehow look dangerous and can be recognized as dangerous. We don't tell them to beware of the ones that seem like such nice guys.

Kim said...

My mom says- you don't know what's cooking in other peoples pots until they lift the lid.

Some folks shouldn't cook.

The Gumdrop Stage of Grief ...

So many of you have shared condolences and support after the death of my beloved brother Bill from COVID-19. I wish I could thank you indiv...