That’ll show ‘em…

Missouri morphed from being the Show-Me state to being the You Can’t Make Me state last night by voting to approve a proposition allowing the state to diss the benefits of federal health care reform on behalf of we the residents.

Way to fucking go, Missouri.

Even though no one believes this proposition is enforceable…with the exception of those freaky state sovereignty folks who are hoping this kicks off a revival of the Civil War…it does send a sorta-message.

By sorta-message a bitch means that this isn’t exactly the hands down Tea Raver victory the press will make it out to be.

Sorry…it just isn’t.

Voter turn out was beyond low…it was 110 degrees in the shade and many Democratic races weren’t seen to be facing a serious primary challenge.  GOP races, however, had some spice.  Add to that the fact that many Democrats didn’t start talking about Prop C until this weekend, while Republicans have been railing against government “mandates” for months.

Sigh.

But by calling this a sorta-message I also acknowledge the reality that lots of Missourians, regardless of their political affiliation, don’t like health care reform and plenty of them don’t like President Obama and the majority of those folks really don’t like the current state of things so fuck it, they voted AGAINST the federal government and that’ll show ‘em.

And it doesn’t matter that they’ve just declared their opposition to protecting women against gender discrimination by private insurers, ending the practice of dropping coverage because of pre-existing conditions (such as breast cancer and pregnancy)…that they have now gone on record as being against significantly increasing private insurance and Medicaid coverage of reproductive health care, including family planning…and to women having guaranteed direct access to ob/gyn services and no longer needing a referral or prior authorization from their health insurance company.

Hell, this vote was a vote against allowing parents to cover their chil’ren as a dependent up to the age of 26 and protecting chil’ren from falling through the cracks as thousands do now.

Now that’s cold.



Fuck it - don't tread on them or their right to not be able to insure their chil'ren or get insurance for their own ass!

Pause…consider…continue.

Confession - this bitch wishes this vote did mean something.

I wish Missouri could opt out.

I do!

I really wish that Missourians could fuck themselves and their neighbors twice on Sunday and then have to watch as folks next-door in Illinois or upstairs in Iowa enjoy not getting dissed for insurance because they’ve had to use health insurance or for one of the other dumb ass greed-based justifications tossed out by insurance companies.

The tragedy is that Missourians won’t suffer for this trifling ass electoral toddler tantrum bullshit.

Mayhap they would have learned something from the ramifications of their actions - but then again, this is Missouri where folks will double down on a fuck up in a heartbeat just to be contrary.

Blink.

This bitch no longer frets over my state hemorrhaging jobs and people...

...and has moved on to wonder why the fuck I'm still here.

Hooray, it’s Election Day!

A bitch is preparing for Election Day today!

I’m going to kick the day off by volunteering outside the polls…and then I get to drive a bunch of voters so they can get their vote on (‘tis too hot to walk serious distances)…and then I’m going to bring my happy ass home and watch the returns.

Gawd, I love Election Day!

I heard a news report that claims that only 1 out of 4 Missouri voters are expected to head to the polls today.

Pathetic.

After all the talk about patriots and not treading on me and taking government back for the people, a bitch thinks it is a damn shame that more folks don’t intend to use their vote.

Pause…consider…continue.

Then again, low turn out amplifies the power of those of us who do vote and 1 out of 4 voter turn-out makes this bitch one powerful super voter.

Blink.

Happy Election Day...vote NO on Prop. C 'cause it's trifling...and I hope to see some of y’all at the polls!

A shark is born...

A bitch is beyond excited about Shark Week…and I’m not just talking about the series of shark-based shows that will air on The Discovery Channel!

Let’s see, we’ve got Great White sharks swimming off the East Coast...a couple of ethics scandals for Democrats in the House, the where-the-fuck-did-the-oil-go BP spill mystery in the Gulf and a primary election tomorrow in Missouri (vote, vote, VOTE!!) and other states.

Let the feeding frenzy begin!

Shall we?

Let's begin with how this bitch became Shark-Fu.

I love sharks.

Not in a let’s jump in the H2O and get up close and personal kind of way, but in an appreciation of their beauty, strength and fierce-i-tude way.

Folks are always asking about my nickname and if it has something to do with my shark fascination…but one came before the other.

When this bitch was a wee bitch I was often bullied at school.  One specific bully fixated on my teeth…specifically on the fact that some teeth were coming in behind other teeth on the bottom row.  He taunted and teased and called me a shark and a freak.

Gawd, he was an ass.

For some reason, being called a shark bothered me more than the pushes and shoves on the bus.

I ran home one day…in a full hiccup cough crying fit…and vented to my mother who told me to hush and followed that up with some advice that if some asshole kid is gonna call me a shark then I need to just go on and be a shark.

That shit confused the hell out of me and I ended up in my bedroom curled into a ball of absolute misery.  My sister C-Money came in and backed up my mother’s advice…she said that if I claimed my sharkdom then it would take the air out of the asshole's taunt.

Thus, Sharkie...or The Shark, Shark-Fu, Sharkella and so forth…was born!

Over the years I’ve made a study of sharks and they truly are amazing creatures.

Pause...consider...continue.

Not in a let’s jump in and have a party with them kind of way...sharks can be vicious, but the same can be said of this bitch.

Wink.

Anyhoo, via la shark week and happy Monday to all y'all!

Happy Now - Bon Jovi at Soldier Field

Hey y’all, this is C-Money rocking the Bitchitude today with a review of the totally epic Bon Jovi show last night. Shark-Fu and I went to see my favorite band for my birthday. It was totally awesome. They opened with Happy Now, my favorite song off the new album The Circle. And I’m still happy, filled with afterglow, optimism and bitchitude.

C-Money and Shark-Fu at VIP Party

Yes, Jon, I’m gonna live before I die. I’m gonna stand my ground. I’m gonna work for the working man. I’m gonna love, love, love and fight, fight, fight. I’m livin' on a prayer, but I know I can always go home. I’m gonna be happy now. Cuz someday I’ll be Saturday night. Oh, yeah.

We made the pilgrimage to Chicago to worship with the faithful in a 50,000 strong tribal love fest at Soldier Field. During our weekend sojourn we met fellow fans. This is a band for the people and Bon Jovi fans are great folks. At the pre-party we met two women from Chicago and talked hockey and reminisced about our first Bon Jovi shows while sipping vodka crans and munching deep-fried mac and cheese, cute little chicken pastries and sliced meats.

Memories. Our first show was the New Jersey tour in St. Louis. Shark-Fu had 80’s bangs and I had black plastic bangles and purple lipstick. I was a senior in high school and Shark-Fu was a sophomore. Skid Row opened up. We were in prime spot on the way to our seats to be the Youth Gone Wild and jump the rail to the floor, but The Shark grabbed the back of my t-shirt, emblazoned with “We’re Back, Kickin' Ass!” and cooler heads prevailed. We nestled into our seats waaaaaaay up in the rafters but when Bon Jovi hit the stage Jon was still larger than life. Bras were flying, girls were crying, Richie Sambora was laughing under that iconic hat. Two, Three, Four. Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah. Pyrotechnics from the stage. Lighters in the stands. Jon going for it on Livin' on a Prayer. We left the definition of an arena rock concert with our ears ringing.

Remember back when pants were tight, hair was long and MTV played music? Everyone we met this weekend did.

Flash forward about 20 years to last night. We sat next to a couple from Rolla, Missouri, who saw the band during the Slippery When Wet tour. And on the other side sat folks from Texas who cut their teeth on New Jersey. I stood in line for the bathroom with women who were on their fourth show this year, in town from Kansas. We stood behind women holding signs begging Jon to sing Damned; after I saw him work the maracas I was glad he obliged. I got a note through to my friend Tammy’s buddy who tours with the band and asked for Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night, Who Says You Can’t Go Home and Happy Now. They played them all. (I like to think the note got through and Jon was all, “For Crystal, I’ll do anything.” A girl can dream.) We walked back to our hotel with folks who flew in from Iowa. And we rode to the airport with guys who came from Arkansas and Tennessee; they last saw Bon Jovi open up for the Scorpions right after Runaway hit. This is a long-term relationship we’re in with this band. It was great to meet so many who sing along to the anthems I like to sing along to. Even the TSA agent at O’Hare was in the tribe. She went Friday night and loved it. So if you read a bitchy review of a Bon Jovi show from some snobby rock critic, know that they just don’t get it. Bon Jovi delivers songs about love, survival, home, fighting, living and dying with rock star flair. They’ve seen a million faces. And they’ve rocked them all.

The boys from New Jersey didn’t hit the stage cold. The sold out crowd was suitably warmed up. First up was a band I’d never heard of but thoroughly enjoyed called The Worsties. Their lead singer reminded me of Debbie Harry and Gwen Stefani with her punk-pop energy and confidence. I don’t think their song Let’s Go is out yet, but it rocks. “Let’s go, let’s go, L-E-T-S-G-O” is an earworm hook. The Worsties bassist has a really pretty blue guitar and he knows what to do with it.

Cue Don’t Stop Believin' and prepare for the happening that is Kid Rock live. That man is crazy good in concert. At one point he had the whole place singing his name in a cool call and response: Kid. Rock. Rock. Kid. Rock. Rock. He was all over the stage, playing every instrument, including scratching on turntables, while pouring a shot of Jim Beam. My favorite part of his set was when he did So Hott and sold that line “I wanna fuck you like I’m never gonna see you again” over a funk-nasty guitar riff. It was sexy as hell, an achievement for a man who needs to eat more to fill out his jeans. I’ll forgive him for inviting the Blackhawks onstage to hoist the Stanley Cup and be adored. But only because I got to see the Cup itself up close. Yo, St. Louis Blues, y’all need to go get that trophy!

Then the sun went down. The air was thick with anticipation. And the mother of all opening montage light shows began with video of Bon Jovi walking through The Circle tunnel in moody blue. The music builds. Then Jon appeared: “What would you say to me. If I told you I had a dream …” I grabbed Shark-Fu and was all “OMG! They’re playing Happy Now! I love that song! Whooaaaa!!!” She laughed and it was on. Jon worked a white mic stand and seems to be mostly over his leg injury. He told us to get up out of our seats like we weren’t already standing and dancing and singing. It was a party y’all.

I went to the pisser during Bad Medicine and was on my way back, walking by the circular ramp area, when Richie took the spotlight for a terrific gospel rendition of Lay Your Hands on Me. I noticed bitches crowding the ramp. Trusting the wisdom of crowds, I found a patch near a security dude and stood my ground, iPhone in hand to catch whatever was gonna happen next. Then Jon emerged on the ramp in a new outfit with a black guitar and did a cover of Turn The Page with Kid Rock. Then a mini-acoustic set broke out with the band on the circle ramp. I hung out, semi-blinded by the spotlight on Jon. (We were behind the band when they were on the ramp.) Richie turned around and smiled at me. I’m serious. It was a moment.

They did Have a Nice Day, Who Says You Can't Go Home and Someday I'll Be Saturday Night. Happy happy, joy joy. Then Jon said, "G'Night!" But we all knew that was bullshit. They went away, Jon changed into a blue tank that matched his eyes, and they came back for an encore.

The encore was epic, yet for some fans, I’m sure it was controversial because it wasn't a hit parade. They did Dry County, a long moody song with a terrific chorus. This song is best live. Jon was feeling it. I was feeling it. He pushed the crowd to join him in the tale of a boom town gone bust. They followed that up with Wanted Dead or Alive, I Love This Town and the epic closer, Livin' on a Prayer. I would have put Keep the Faith in instead of I Love This Town, but Jon was masterful all night – in good voice, dramatic, beautiful – so I’ll just say thank you for a wonderful night.

If you can’t tell, I’m in a terrific mood. I’m off to sing Livin' on a Prayer in the shower at the top of my lungs. I’m turning 39 this week. And to quote a Bon Jovi lyric, I’m not old. I’m just older.

Peace-out,

C-Money

Oh hell yes, it’s Friday and bitch is heading to Chicago!

A bitch is taking a weekend trip to Chicago with my sister C-Money!

Mmmmhmm, we’re heading to the windy city ‘cause C-Money is obsessed a huge fan of Bon Jovi.

Blink

What?

Wink.

C-Money loves her some Bon Jovi and they aren’t coming to St. Louis so we’re traveling to Chi-Town to see them and celebrate her birthday a wee bit early.

The dawgs get a weekend at dawg camp and this bitch gets a fun weekend in Chicago away from dawgs.

Happy, happy, happy and joys times three!

C-Money has promised a guest post…we’ll see if she produces one.

Toodles for now!

An update on Arizona…

Yesterday a federal judge put the brakes on the meat of Arizona’s new immigration law.

Specifically, the federal judge issued an injunction that blocks the provision that requires police to "make a reasonable attempt to determine the immigration status of a person stopped, detained or arrested" if the officer determines that she/he has reasonable suspicion that the person is in the United States illegally.

CNN’s Jeffrey Toobin points out that the federal judge’s ruling was based on the likelihood of the federal government to win their argument that the provision violates federal sovereignty and control of immigration laws.  He also believes that this case will ultimately end up in front of the Supreme Court.

Pause...sip coffee…continue.

It’s important to understand that this ruling did not speak to whether the provision would violate a person’s civil rights.  The judge did point out that the law could lead to the detention of citizens who are in the country legally...but she blocked the provision ‘cause it violates federal law.

My take?

I don’t want to live in a country where each state has it’s own immigration law.  We already have a nation where a person’s reproductive freedom varies state to state and that’s a damn shame...that a woman in one state has reproductive rights that a woman in another state doesn’t is fucked up from the floor up and un-American as hell.  So, I’m glad the federal judge blocked that provision and sent a message that the federal government makes immigration policy and enforces that policy for the nation. 

By the gods, I hope support for uniformity becomes a fucking judicial trend.

But that leaves us with a federal government that still needs to revise our immigration policy…and a bunch of polls that seem to say that Americans support the spirit of the now blocked profiling provision from Arizona. 

So we still face the real possibility that the same forces that were at play in Arizona will take their "cause" to the Hill and add that kind of provision to a reform of federal immigration law…and then opponents would challenge it…and our best bet would be for the Supreme Court to take up the case.

Blink.

The struggle continues…

Much better now...

Lawd, have mercy!

My bitchitude has stabilized…but it took a day away from the news to get back to normal.

And decent night of sleep.

And some one-on-one time with my sorta-beagle.

Sigh.

Hold please!

A bitch went to bed feeling like the world has gone to shit and I woke up feeling like I did when I went to bed.

Shit, I think I’ve caught a malaise!

Well, fuck a duck.

I don’t have time for a malaise!

Am I feeling uneasy and out of sorts?

Sort of…maybe…but not really.

Pause…consider…continue.

Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve caught a malaise after all.

Truth is, a bitch’s current state of mind is a wee bit  Fannie Lou Hamer with some Howard Beale thrown in for flavor.

Translation – this bitch is sick and tired of being sick and tired with some tired as hell and not gonna take it anymore on the side!

Mmmhmm, this isn’t a malaise…this is unstable bitchitude!

And unstable bitchitude coupled with this extreme heat is dangerous as a motherfucker.

Shit!

Time to cool it down and soothe my soul a bit.

Toodles until this evening!

Pondering a recent analysis of diversity in media…

Yesterday I watched the Sunday political chats for the first time in a long time.

Shall we?

Things this bitch noticed while watching the Sunday political chat shows…

The round table chat segments lack diversity…big time.  It’s as if producers are working from a 1955 handbook where they can easily check diversity off their to-do list by inviting black men and a white woman on the show.

I’ve long lamented the lack of diversity on shows discussing all things political.  The panels these shows put together rarely feature young people and producers seem unable to find an extra chair that would allow Hispanics and black people to appear on a show at the same time.

This shit jumped out at me yesterday because the chats were discussing how the media treated the Shirley Sherrod story.

Watching Michael Eric Dyson and Cornell West on Face the Nation…two black men who made some good points but who failed to address the role members of the black boys club at the NAACP played in throwing Ms. Sherrod under the bus or the unique experience of black women in the workplace that all too often includes being asked to add teaching Racism 101 to our job descriptions…yeah, watching that shit was frustrating as hell.

But twas also par for the course.

The mainstream press continues to fumble diversity…and, as a result, the panels they put together offer up weak ass analysis because key players aren’t at the table.

And Lawd have mercy, I was fascinated by Sunday’s edition of Reliable Sources where Howie Kurtz had Matt Lewis, Jane Hall and Joan Walsh on to discuss the Sherrod story.

Kurtz then had a segment with Carole Simpson on to discuss the lack of diversity in prime media slots.

Although I enjoyed the discussion of why people of color aren’t even on the short list for prime anchor slots and are too often segregated to the weekend anchor slots, I was more than a little disturbed that black women weren’t featured on the panel to discuss the Sherrod story.

And if women of color can’t get a seat at the table to discuss a high profile story about a woman of color, it’s no wonder we aren’t even on the sort list for invitations to discuss the economy or the war or political tensions with Iran.

Shit.

And I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of high profile journalists tossing up their hands and indulging in token discussions of the impact the lack of diverse voices has on journalism.

Journalists are journalism.

Don't they have the power to change that which they sometimes critique but rarely take action to change?

Blink.

Sealife is tired of our shit!

Let’s jump in, shall we?

Pause…consider…continue.

Or maybe we shouldn’t.

This bitch has been catching up with the sorta-news on the internets.  My dawg-based companions, Betsey the sorta-beagle and Theo the Bay Master, assisted by curling up next to me and getting their snore on.

I read the story about the whale that dropped some serious whoop ass on a yacht off the South African coast.

Then there were reports of a jellyfish that stung 150 or so humans…even after it died.

And…well, it would seem that sealife is tired as hell and not gonna take it anymore!

Mmmhmm, these sea-based creatures are sending a message – “Don’t fuck with us!”

Oh, ‘tis easy to dismiss an angry whale’s attack on a yacht as a random thang…but, even if reports that the yacht harassed the whale aren’t true, this bitch thinks that whale was pissed at the eco-damage humans have done and indulged in a public display of aqua-anger.

Shit, I don’t blame the whale – some assholes in a yacht are getting their sail on in the middle of the whale’s dinner plate and probably disturbed the whales groove too.

She…and I just know it was a sistah…had enough of that shit and decided to remind the yacht that she’s the Head Whale in Charge!

As for the jellyfish…well, the same holds true – a day at the beach for a pack of humans is a motherfucking mob riot in her water-based living room for a jellyfish.

And no water-based life, be it sea or river or pond, wants to go out like that catfish in Missouri…to live long enough to get big as hell only to be taken down by some humans killing time out on the river.

That was some fish’s Great Grandma Cat, damnit!

Shit.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

These incidents of sealife anger cast the recent appearance of sharks off the coast of Maine in a different light.

People need to ask themselves if those sharks are just taking a swim…

…or could they be planning something.

Blink.

Serious questions remain…

Okay, I’m not done chewing the Shirley Sherrod bone, ‘cause serious questions remain.

Why the fuck aren’t reporters asking some serious questions of the blogger who got all this shit stirred up?

ABC News has a piece online about how Andrew Breitbart got his start…but I couldn’t care less about that shit.

Has he corrected his story?

Will this pile of absolute bullshit push the mainstream media to revisit some of his other work…will it result in folks not buying what he’s selling anymore?

As a blogger, this is a big fucking deal.

I’ve gotten shit wrong before…it sucks but it happens and when it does happen bloggers need to correct that shit.

But it doesn’t look like Breitbart simply got the story wrong.

It looks like he crafted this non-story story based on bullshit from jump.

Sooooooo…

….what the fuck?

In a world where a reporter can be fired after private emails are released…where comments on YouTube can end a career…hell, in a world where Shirley Sherrod is kicked to the curb faster than I can type “bullshit”…in that world Breitbart should be eaten alive for this story.

I’m not saying that we should ignore the role the Obama administration may or may not have played in this shit….

And I sure as shit am not saying that we shouldn’t examine and critique the knee jerk tossing of Sherrod under the bus by the NAACP…

But this story came from Andrew Breitbart…and this bitch thinks the same journalists who failed in their investigative duty by embracing this shit at face value need to get back to basics and apply some motherfucking due diligence to the How The Fuck Did This Story Happen? angle.

Go out and get your journalist on and follow the money.

Shit, this isn’t even that complicated – just follow the fucking stank.

Blink.

Take a sniff…note the flies…

Dear Secretary Tom Vilsack, reporters and pundits who just were and keep getting played,

When you see a swarm of flies hovering…

…and then the unmistakable smell of steaming hot fresh shit hits you…

…just as you spy a guilty looking bull over yonder…

…you can trust that the steaming stinking fly attracting pile in the corner is bullshit.

How many motherfucking times do y’all have to get played by some not slick and not even bothering to try to be slick conservative asshole empowered by a quick i-Movies How to Edit a Video tutorial and a lust to be Tea Party minion of the month…Lawd, have mercy…before you pause and consider before buying what they are selling?

And cease acting surprised!

Cease!

If I have to listen to another sorta-reporter talk about the “surprising turn of events” in the Shirley Sherrod resignation story I’m going to call ABC News and go off on whoever answers that damn phone.

Shirley Sherrod’s statements on race at the NAACP conference were uber-edited to make her look bad.

No shit!

Someone on the right got pissed that the NAACP called them out on their racist bullshit…then that same asshole or group of assholes got frustrated that their dear leader fucked up his response by indulging in a public display of racism to claim that he and his aren’t racist…so, said asshole or assholes did what assholes do – lied by doctoring a video to attack to reputation of an innocent woman who just happened to say something that could be doctored to serve their needs.

And then they sent that shit out…and y’all dove at it without a pause or consideration to the source or the timing or basic journalism.

That’s what happened…and that’s what has happened with everything from the ACORN fabrications to the New Black Panther Party non-scandal to the horrible treatment of Ms. Sherrod to [insert next target of the right scheduled to be tossed under The Knee Jerk Express bus].

Y’all got played…and the shocking thing isn’t that you got played, but that you still don’t get that you got played and are probably being played on another manufactured story even as I type.

A bitch urges y’all to try something different, for the love of all that’s easy...take a sniff, note the large amount of flies hovering about and then give the next non-scandal pile of bullshit dressed up as a legitimate information what it deserves...

...your complete lack of attention.

Recovering from the previous week while preparing for the one ahead…

A bitch has been traveling and lobbying…melting in the heat and then traveling some more.

Lawd, have mercy.

Last week I attending a fantabulous public policy summit in Washington DC and then got my lobby on with Congress.

Let me tell you, it was hotter than hell on the Hill!

This bitch’s schedule was packed so I wasn’t able to get my visit on with all the folks I know in the DC area…and, after working up a serious sweat from walking about to and from meetings, I was unfit for human interaction.

But I’ll be back!

Onward to the new work week…

…and toodles until tonight!

Vote for the Center for Hearing and Speech – Pepsi Refresh!

Please vote for the Center for Hearing and Speech in the Pepsi Refresh Everything contest!

The Center for Hearing and Speech’s primary goal is to identify, treat, and prevent communication disorders by offering Speech/Language and Audiology services to infants, children, and adults, whether or not they have the insurance and/or financial resources to afford these services.

The Center serves the St. Louis region and seeks to provide speech and language therapy for at-risk children if they win.

$25,000 will make a huge difference, but the Center needs a lot more votes.  Only the top ten projects will be funded.

Click here, learn more about the Center for Hearing and Speech, and cast your vote for a very worthy organization!

Thanks.

A bitch is on the road…

This bitch will be traveling today, so bitchitude is on hold!

Pause…consider…continue.

If I'm lucky, the process of travel won't provide any bitch-based content.

Wince.

Toodles ‘til later…

Laura Ingraham was on the Today Show this morning…

I can’t remember if I’ve ever written about Laura Ingraham before and it has been forever and a day since I’ve posted anything Today Show related, but…well, this bitch caught Ingraham on the first half hour of the Today Show this morning and I’ve just got to share my thoughts.

A bitch’s first thought after viewing Laura Ingraham’s appearance on the Today Show this morning…

Girlfriend looks good.

Seriously, Ms. Thang has a happy as hell glow about her that can only mean that a Democratic administration has shat the bed!

Ingraham had her hair did…her arms exposed in a curious sleeveless fashion nod to Ann Coulter of the my arms shall always be bare Coulters…and her “I’m a Christian, damn it!!” gold cross necklace was gleaming.

Nicely done, Laura.

A bitch’s second thought after viewing Laura Ingraham’s appearance on the Today Show this morning…

Someone should have skipped that extra cup of coffee in the Green Room.

Confession – I don’t listen to Ingraham on the radio so I’m not familiar with her broadcast style, but she was firing off rambling what-nots on fast-forward this morning.  I half expected Matt Lauer to pour cold water on her to prevent spontaneous combustion!

A bitch’s final thought after viewing Laura Ingraham’s appearance on the Today Show this morning…

I get that the Today Show has signed some sort of deal with Satan that they will conduct interviews with conservatives about their tired ass books in exchange for a cease fire in the war on Matt Lauer’s hairline…but damn.

From what I was able to grasp…and I’ll confess that Laura was talking so fast I only caught every third word out of her sanctified mouth…the book is some sort of fantasy exploration of the Obama Administration through faux diary entries.

So, why the fuck was she channeling Vince from those Shamwow commercials to pitch that shit?

A bitch wonders if Laura refused to stop talking...or take a damn breath...for fear of having to actually talk about the book.

***cue crickets***

Blink.

By request – my thoughts on the latest “she/he is successful because she/he is black” charge…

A bitch was traveling last week and kind of missed Rush Limbaugh’s latest public display of rancidity…but a certain Tabitha from Madison, Wisconsin (birthplace of my remarkable sister, C-Money, btw!) sent an email about the shit and asked for my thoughts.

Lawd.

You asked, sister!

My first response was to ignore Rush’s comments about certain people only being successful because they are black. 

I’ve been black since birth and have heard that shit almost as long…in school and in my professional careers, people have enjoyed dropping that diss on a pretty regular basis.  In many ways, I owe them for it – a bitch has worked hard to counter the “she’s just here because she’s black claim.”  But the sad reality is that lots of folks could give a shit about a body's actual accomplishments…they need to believe that some other person is successful simply because they are black because it helps them ignore their own inadequacies and lack of achievement.

‘Tis tempting to list out the many ways a person is challenged by bigotry because they are black…I’ll confess that I wrote out a long list and then deleted it. 

What?

A bitch is easily tempted (wink).

But you know and I know this isn’t a debate over the real…and Limbaugh wants folks to dive for this shit because that would validate the premise of his argument.

He ain’t slick and this bitch isn't in the mood.

Limbaugh is an ass and, since he makes a pile of money being an ass, he’ll probably be an ass for life.

I suspect that Limbaugh likes to claim that folks are successful because they are black because he feels that he’s successful simply because he’s white. 

Truth is I’m not all that concerned about Limbaugh or Beck or Bennett or Buchanan or any of the other intellectually challenged fools of conservative media…

…’tis their audience that worries me.

Odds are the pundits are indulging in lucrative hustles.  Oh they believe what they say, but they only say it because it resonates with their audience.  If their audience wanted them to praise certain black people they’d belly up to a pulpit, light some candles and start chanting that black is beautiful.

But the undeniable fact is that these fools have found and built an audience through hate dressed up as analysis…and that audience is not offended by the shit they say – they eat that racist shit up and then call in and beg for more.

And while Limbaugh and his kind travel in wealthy circles and rarely mix with the masses…

…their listeners are our neighbors.

Blink.

On legal test drives...

A bitch has got to pack, so this one’s gonna be quick.

The Justice Department is suing the state of Arizona over their new immigration law on the grounds that the federal government, not states, is responsible for immigration.

Now some people are pissed off that the federal government is taking Arizona to court…but a bitch applauds the hell out of this shit.

Since this law was signed, people have been arguing and boycotting and protesting and drinking tea like they're a Tory and it’s 1776…

...now this shit will finally be argued and decided in a court of law.

That’s not to say that the court will get it right (anyone remember Dred Scott?)…but we are a nation of laws and a nation that has been struggling with this states rights issue since Independence Day, so this upcoming court battle was inevitable.

So, let’s take this Arizona immigration law out for a legal test ride and see how it handles on Constitution Ave…

Halak!

My beloved St. Louis Blues have finally officially signed our new goalie Jaroslav Halak!

Hooray…hooray…HOORAY!

I had a feeling some shit was going to go down yesterday.

This bitch had jury duty, so I parked at Scott Trade (home of the Blues)…where I noticed a section of the parking lot reserved for hockey personnel only packed with cars.  I had to delay my jury duty for a month (going out of town today), so when I got back to the parking lot it was still rather early and…well, there were even more cars in the hockey personnel section and a certain buzz in the air.

Sure as flies on shit, the Blues got their contract signing on yesterday afternoon.

Cam Janssen for one year…Carlo Colaiacovo for a two-year deal…and former Habs goalie now official Blues netminder Jaro Halak for four years of Blues hockey!

Hooray!

A tip of the Afro to all the Jerry Maguire’s involved in getting ink on paper…

…and a bitch is thanking the hockey gods we didn’t put our shit on hold to participate in The Great Kovalchuk Frenzification of 2010.

Jury duty!!

A bitch has been called for jury duty.

Lawd, have mercy!

Bitchitude shall be delayed until this evening.

Toodles!

Happy birthday to my brother Bill!

Today is July 5, 2010…and my older brother Bill is 40 years old.

Yay!

Pause...consider...continue.

Lawd, have mercy…we’re 40!

I say that we are 40 because my siblings and I are so close in age that their milestone birthdays feel like teaser ads for my own ass.


Cough.

Anyhoo, today my brother Bill is 40 years old.

He’s at a post-brunch visit to The St. Louis Zoo and the gods graced us with a fantabulously beautiful day to be out and about.

Hooray…hooray…HOORAY!

Happy birthday to the best older brother a bitch could ask for!

A bitchfirmation for Brother Rob Thurman…

This bitchfirmation goes out to Brother Rob Thurman from the Mother Church of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks...


...with a little help for the Jackson 5!

We love you like cold fried chicken with a slice of chocolate cake at 3 o’clock in the morning!

Can you feel it?

Can you feel it?

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

Your family of friends send you extreme positivitude and encouragificaton (wink)…we are inspired by your dedication as a son and brother…and we know know that you will gain strength through your inner power.

Now tell me!

Can you feel it?

Can you feel it?

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

We love you…we’re with you in spirit…and we miss you!

Happy Canada Day!

A bitch wishes all my Canadian readers a Happy Canada Day!

I’m celebrating right along with you by diving into my stash of Smartie-based yummification…

Pondering the teachable moment when justice is denied…

A bitch read this news item on Stltoday.com and it really touched my heart.

A woman of color, denied admission into Missouri State (then Southwest Missouri State College), is being given and honorary bachelor’s degree.

60 years ago Mary Jean Price graduated from high school and applied to college.  She applied to her local state school…travel to the state’s historically black college, Lincoln University, was too expensive.  But Southwest Missouri State did not admit students of color and Price was denied admission.

Mary Jean Price went on with her life.

But she never became the school teacher she had planned to be…could have been…should have been had justice not been denied.

Now Missouri State is giving Mary Jean Price an honorary degree.

While some speak of how far we’ve come a bitch thinks that the teachable moment within this story has more to do with the limits of gestures when justice has been denied.

To learn from this and perhaps give it meaning beyond a terrible wrong done to Mary Jean Price and all the nameless people of color who were denied admission to college because of racial discrimination, we must apply this lesson to the present.

Making shit right after doing someone wrong ain’t easy…thus, we should strive to learn from our mistakes and avoid repeating them.

So, along with honorary degrees and public expressions of regret, maybe we should add a call to question some of our present day shit…question the current popularity of immigration legislation that empowers and encourages police to question people’s citizenship based on their appearance…question the anti-knowledge opposition to comprehensive sex education and who it benefits…and question a society that where LGBT people can be fired or denied housing for being LGBT people.

Question...debate...and then challenge.

History is more than an opportunity to see how far we have come.  It is an opportunity to learn about the past, question the present based on that knowledge and work to make progress in the here and now.

In 1950, Mary Jean Price was denied admission to a college where today more than 600 black students now pursue their degrees.

And I’m not pondering how far we’ve come.

Social justice demands that we question what can we do right now to impact what people will write about us in 60 years.

Will our actions inspire regret and gestures...

...or respect and honors?

Pondering opposition....

Several months ago I watched a documentary on television, Shouting Fire: Stories from the Edge of Free Speech.  The documentary profiled several cases that challenged the hell out of me…incidents where people said things that go against everything I believe in and yet their very act of saying them demonstrates something I believe so very much in - freedom of speech.

At the end of the documentary I was drained and inspired…disturbed and empowered.

Gawd, I love a good documentary film!

Anyhoo, I was reminded of those feelings and that documentary when I read the news that some residents of Murfreesboro Tennessee oppose the building of a new Islamic Center near town.  The congregation of the current center has outgrown it’s home and seeks to expand in a new center and some residents are fiercely opposed to that plan.

If people opposed the new Islamic Center because plans violate local building codes or threaten a protected wetland it would be one thing…but folks have voiced opposition based on the fact that the center will be an Islamic center.

Some have called it a training center for terrorists…there have been incidents of vandalism at the planned site of the new center…and there was even a call for a boycott of any business that works on construction of the new center.

A local Tea Party candidate running for Congress even went so far as to call Islam a political system designed to enforce Sharia Law and not a religion.

Americans have the right to engage in public displays of absolute ignorance.  I’ll defend that any day…because I want to protect my right to engage in public displays of brilliance (wink).

But people do not have the right to use government as a weapon to deny others the right to religious freedom ‘cause of an intellectually lazy and bigoted fear of all things associated with the religion of Islam.

There’s this thing called the 1st Amendment to the Constitution...the one that prohibits government from impeding the free exercise of religion and protects our right to peaceably assemble.

That same amendment prohibits government from infringing on free speech…and I can’t get over how sad it is that those folks in Mufreesboro who oppose the building of a new Islamic center are exercising one part of the 1st Amendment to demand county officials violate another part of that same amendment.

Sad, but not surprising...when we pull back the scab of tolerance we often find the festering infection of bigotry.

And that is as American as people working to deny freedom ‘cause they claim that they want to protect freedom.

Blink.

Pondering the Russian spy media frenzification…

Apparently there are masses of Russian spies in American suburbs.

Mmmhmm, the Feds have charged 11 people with being spies for Russia…and news outlets are in love with the angle that these folks blended in and lived among the people in suburban settings while acting normal.

Mercy.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.


Shall we?

Okay, these people have been charged with spying for Russia.  I know I’m asking a lot…and that the press really struggles with this part of reporting…but could someone please try to report charges as charges and confessions as confessions and convictions as convictions?

***cue crickets***

Shit, this bitch can’t tell whether we’ve got spies or folks charged as spies or folks who have confessed to being spies or some guy named Yuri who is in a shit storm because of some unfortunate internet searches.

Then there’s the fact that Russian President Medvedev was just in the country chowing down on burgers with President Obama and that kicked off the did Obama know, did Medvedev know, can we read anything into the way they ate the burgers or was Medvedev sending signals by eating his fries one at a time…or did his selection of a cheeseburger versus a hamburger trigger a long dormant Manchurian sleeper spy who is now roaming the nation on some mission to exploit burger-based diplomacy!!!!

Gasp.

***cue the interviews with shocked neighbors***

Did they have accents?

Were they good tenants?

Did they root for Team Russia during the Olympics?

Mercy.

I don’t know when it happened, but at some point tossing out questions kicked journalism's ass and then hid the body in a closet and took the fuck over.

Sigh.

But I must confess that this Russian spy media frenzy has got a bitch nostalgic for the predictable propaganda of the Cold War…

…and wondering how long it’ll take for Glenn Beck to connect this shit to Acorn.

Blink.

Senator Byrd, D-West Virginia, has died…

Senator Robert Byrd has died.

Senator Byrd was this nation’s longest serving Senator.

Many will remember Senator Byrd for his passionate opposition of President Bush’s doctrine of preemptive war.

Others will remember Senator Byrd for his decades in the United States Senate.

History will certainly remember Byrd’s conservative social views…his membership in a domestic terrorist group (the KKK), that historic 14-hour filibuster of the Civil Rights Act of 1964…his vote for the King holiday and his endorsement of Obama for President in 2008.

Odds are that the great historian of the Senate understood that his words and votes would long outlive him.

As news came through of Byrd’s death, I was reminded that the history of a politician is also the history of those who elected that politician.

And so, the history of Senator Byrd is the history of decades of West Virginia voters too...the good, the bad and the ugly.

Senator Byrd was 92 years old.

Happy Pride!

A bitch’s wicked head cold wrapped up just in time for Pride weekend in St. Louis!

Thanks the gods.

I’m fixin' to head over to the park and celebrate with the masses…and eat funnel cake…and get my socialization on with friends and fellow activists…oh, and then eat more funnel cake.

Sigh.

For some folks Pridefest is a fun outdoor party or the source of one of the city’s more popular parades, but for many who attend it is a rare opportunity to be out in an accepting atmosphere…to be who they are and to see that they are not alone.

‘Tis important to remember that Pride is a party and so much more...and that funnel cake is a sometimes food (wink).

Happy Pride, y’all…

…and don’t forget the sunscreen!

Caught the summer plague…

A bitch has caught that summer plague that’s been going around!

Shit.

Since blogging while bleary eyed on meds is not wise, bitchitude will be delayed until tomorrow.

Toodles till…

Pondering vehicular sermons…

A bitch was out driving Ms Sistah Girl Cabrio yesterday.  It’s hot as hell in St. Louis and lots of folks are driving like they are mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.  So, I wasn’t all that surprised when a silver mini van sped up and cut me off, failing to yield to oncoming traffic and damn near causing a multi-car accident on Lindell.

Sigh.

I cautiously pulled up behind said mini van…and took note of the multiple preachified anti-choice bumper stickers populating its ass.

There’s nothing like having a Choose Life mini van, complete with a driver chatting feverishly on her cell phone, bob and weave at high speeds through city traffic…it really sends a message (wince).

I couldn’t stop staring at the Woman, Behold Thy Son sticker as the van cut back and forth and then swerved into the Walgreen’s parking lot…finally coming to a screeching halt.

It got me thinking about the recent news that Massachusetts is considering Choose Life license plates.

The way I see it, some cars just drive about, other cars drive about sending messages (end the war, tolerate each other, adopt a pet and so forth)…but certain cars drive about giving vehicular sermons.

This bitch thinks that folks should consider that shit before getting a Choose Life license plate to go with a series of biblical quote bumper stickers on their silver mini vans.

‘Cause either the driver of that mini van was borrowing someone else’s ride…

… or she feels strongly that the masses should “Choose Life” by staying off the fucking road while she’s on it.

Mayhap the sticker should say that shit…Choose Life – Stay Out of My fucking Way?

Blink.

Either way, when a driver anoints their car with sanctified ideology they should have drive accordingly or face getting a ticket for hypocrisy while driving.

Shit.

Hockey news in the month of Pride…

When the Chicago Gay Hockey Association invited the Blackhawks to participate in this year’s Pride Parade, a lot of folks wondered how the Hawks would respond.

Well, now we know.

Chicago defenseman Brent Sopel and his family will escort Lord Stanley’s Cup and represent the Chicago Blackhawks in Chicago’s Pride Parade!

They’ll join the Cubs, who were already set to have a float.

Hockey is for everyone - Happy Pride!

A fluff of the Afro to the great sport of ice hockey!

A bitch was thrilled to see that the Hockey Hall of Fame has finally acknowledged the achievements of women in the sport!

Canadian great Angela James and the fantabulous Cammi Granato, a super star of American hockey, will be inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in November.

Holy jumpin’!

Congratulations to them both…

…and this hockey fan thanks them too, for loving the game and playing it like warrior goddesses!

A census pondering...

A bitch filled out my home’s census form when it came in the mail because it matters…big time.  Missouri faces the very real possibility of losing a Congressional seat if the census shows that our state population no longer warrants that representation.

Lose a Congressional seat and you lose political power.

The entire situation has a bitch pondering population in Missouri.

When I first moved back home to Missouri I met up with some classmates from high school who had started an organization that sought to address the fact that many women of color leave Missouri in search of better opportunities.  Lots of us chose to move to cities with less racial segregation and better job opportunities…cities and communities that are more inclusive and less rigidly conservative. That situation is not limited to women of color...lots of folks grow up in Missouri and then leave.  And there are a lot of reasons why a person leaves their home state…employment opportunities, societal pressures fueled by Missouri’s conservative shift, education opportunities for children or just a wish to see if the grass is greener.

The problem comes when the reasons folks leave Missouri are also the reasons why folks and/or businesses don’t move here.

Beyond the real threat of losing a seat in Congress, Missouri faces a budget crunch that is somewhat related to our population…fewer people means fewer people to tax and Lawd knows no one wants to raise taxes on the folks who stay, so we’re stuck in a vicious cycle of slash and cut that results in fewer services which impact communities and make them less attractive for folks who may have considered moving here.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Now I know and you know that I know and you know that some of our census problems come from people not filling out the forms.

Based on this article it seems that southern Missouri is posting some of the lowest returns…and that failure to stand up and be counted may rest in the regions anti-government sentiment.

If that shit holds, those anti-government Missourians will get their fondest wish…

…smaller government by way of one less seat in Congress.

Mayhap this is part of their Missouri sovereignty master plan?

Blink.

Remembrances of my father…

The strength of his hand…calloused and well used…when it held mine as we crossed the street.

The way he used to put mayonnaise and spicy mustard on hot dogs and then act as if that shit was the ultimate hook up.

His laugh…and the outrageous sense of humor that fueled the laughter of all who knew him.

How he mowed the lawn…meticulously moving up the length of it and then down with a level of geometric perfection that probably wasn’t all that healthy.  Fuck it – it gave him joy!

That he was almost genetically incapable of following recipes…and how he never gave up on his belief that adding coffee to box cake mixes made all the difference in the world.

How he worried…the way he worried…as if he had all the faith in the world that we’d make it through whatever it was but hated that we had to do it.

The scent of Scotch and cigarettes…of outside, sun, water and nature…of smoke from the grill or oil from the car.

Scene upon scene…moment tumbling into moment, so dear that words fail to capture the precious joy within every one of them.

But oh, if I hear a certain song…then we’re hanging out at the doughnut shop again – he with coffee and me with hot chocolate.

I’ve only to smell fresh cut lumber…and we’re hitting the hardware store again so that he could tackle this or that or just shoot the shit.

And I’ve only to look at my siblings…my beloved sister and brother…to see my father in them.

He is well missed and fondly remembered today as always.

Happy Father’s Day!

Oh, freedom …oh, freedom…oh, freedom over me!

Today is June 19^th…Juneteenth…a day that commemorates the announcement of the abolition of slavery in the state of Texas.  Juneteenth is a day that is now celebrated as Freedom Day or Emancipation Day in many communities across the nation and the world.

Oh freedom, oh freedom, oh freedom over me!
And before I'd be a slave I'll be buried in a my grave…

…and go home to my lord and be free!

Some people think that black folks focus on slavery too much, but I think we don’t focus on it enough.

On the fact that the economy of the United States was built through the use of slave labor…

No more mourning, no more mourning, no more mourning over me!
And before I'd be a slave I'll be buried in a my grave...
...and go home to my lord and be free!

On the fact that Southern pride should source from the history of social justice that sought to free a people rather than the armed rebellion against the federal government…

No more crying, no more crying, no more crying over me!
And before I'd be a slave I'll be buried in a my grave...
...and go home to my lord and be free!

On strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees…and tears upon tears cried for those who lost their lives to the hatred of others…

Oh freedom, oh freedom, oh freedom over me!
And before I'd be a slave I'll be buried in a my grave...
...and go home to my lord and be free!

On a people who are survivors and should find pride in that, not shame...oh no, never shame.

There'll be singin', there'll be singin', there'll be singin' over me!

I don't think we focus enough..that it is even possible to focus too much...on the fact that slavery still exists today…

And before I'd be a slave I'll be buried in a my grave...
...and go home to my lord and be free.

…or on my belief that those of us who are the descendents of slaves should be all up in the movement to abolish modern slavery.

Oh freedom, oh freedom, oh freedom over me!

This Juneteenth I celebrate freedom even as I acknowledge the present day reality of slavery.

And before I'd be a slave I'll be buried in a my grave…

…and go home to my lord and be free.

Oh freedom.

Oh freedom.

Oh freedom over me.

Misconstrued, my black ass…

Misconstrue - To interpret erroneously, to understand incorrectly; to misunderstand.

Shall we?

Yesterday, Republican Congressman Joe Barton of Texas apologized to BP chief executive Tony Hayward.  Hayward was called to the Hill to testify before the members of the House Energy and Commerce Committee.

In his opening statement Barton said…

“I’m ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday.” … “I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown — in this case a $20 billion shakedown.”

He went on…and on…and on.

As the web exploded, the Republican Congressman issued a non-apology clarification - saying that his remarks had been "misconstrued”, Barton offered up…"I want to apologize for that misconstruction."

That was bullshit and the outraged masses swiftly declared it so.

Aint nothing to misconstrue…Barton is one Republican politician who knows how to speak plainly when he wants to.

And he clearly wanted to…big time!

By the end of the day, Barton had transitioned to a full apology minus the misconstruction bullshit.

The conspiracy theory lover in me suspects that Barton did exactly what he was sent forth to do…distract from the specifics of the hearing and the lack of buck-stops-here from Hayward.

If so, Congressman Barton deserves a bump in his next campaign donation from the oil industry ’cause everyone and their dawg has been talking about his public defense of BP in service to the Church of a Free Market Economy…

…and only a few folks are pointing out that BP’s Hayward fell flat as a motherfucker, failed to answer questions about how much time and money BP saved by skipping multiple safety measures and was even caught on screen checking his fucking watch.

Hayward speaks well and he’s even got the facial expressions of regret, sorrow and misery down…

…but odds are he regrets not having his life back, he’s sorrowful that this oil spill didn’t happen off the shore of Africa where he and his minions could take their damn time not cleaning it up and he feels strongly that having to listen to America politicians lash out at him while missing World Cup Soccer is the very definition of misery.

Pause…consider…continue.

I bet if we checked Tony Hayward’s iPhone we’d find a tweet from Rep. Joe Barton apologizing for the goal that got past England’s goalie in the USA v England match.

Lawd, have mercy.

When strict constructionism becomes selective as a motherfucker…

Shall we?

A bitch read about a certain Arizona lawmaker who wants to deny citizenship to children born in America to undocumented parents and I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.

On one hand, it is laughable.

The 14th Amendment to the Constitution guarantees citizenship to any body born in the United States.

That’s the United States Constitution, not the Arizona State Constitution…so, um…yeah, no way in hell a law passed in the Arizona state legislature is gonna undo that shit.

On the other hand, I found the very thought beyond sad even as it is extremely illuminating. State Senator Russell Pearce isn’t trying to be slick or subtle…and the fact that he isn’t and doesn’t think he has to says a lot about his confidence that his constituents won’t get ill as he launches a full out attack on families and children. 

Beyond the meanness of this latest public display of legislative bigotry, there is the curious issue of a conservative Republican calling for a change in a constitutionally guaranteed right because circumstances have change in his home state.

Gawd, I remember when Republicans were all having the words “strict constructionist” tattooed to their right ass cheek!

But I guess that their adoration of strict constructionism only applies to certain sections of the Constitution…

…kind of like how the Arizona immigration law only targets certain people.

Blink.

Consider voting for The Hiram Farm in the Pepsi Co Refresh Everything contest…

Hi y’all!

Please consider voting for The Hiram Farm in the Pepsi Co Refresh Everything contest!

Pepsi Co is giving away funds to groups based on the number of votes the groups get.

This is the link to the contest http://www.refresheverything.com/hiramfarm

Hiram Farm is an agricultural community project born out of the desire to provide inspiration and meaningful work for the individual growth of people with Autism Spectrum Disorders. More can be found out about the farm at http://www.hiramfarm.org/

Thanks!

Post Oval Office Speechification pondering…

Update – After meeting with President Obama, BP to set aside $20 Billion fund for people and small businesses in the Gulf.

Shall we?

President Obama addressed the nation from the Oval Office last night.  He spoke of the oil spill in the Gulf and holding BP accountable and making them pay for the financial impact of this eco-tragedy.

A bitch found the speech short on specifics…and yes, that is beyond frustrating given the fact that this address to the nation is about a month and a half overdue.

Short of putting on scuba gear then diving into the Gulf and plugging that motherfucking leak his damn self, President Obama is not gonna please anyone on this shit.

Pause…consider…continue.

A bitch suspects that if Obama did get his dive on and plug that leak his political opponents would find fault in his dive technique, accuse him of engaging in political theater or declare scuba diving proof that he’s an elitist who is out of touch with regular Americans who can’t afford to dive.

Cough.

That’s neither here nor there…that’s just politics.

And politics will not stop the oil from gushing in the Gulf.

Hopefully those relief wells will and they aren’t due to be complete until August or September.

Here’s some realness - we are all invested in making sure the federal government gets their act together.

Not just progressives who would like to see reforms put in place to prevent disasters like this in the future.

Not just conservatives who seek political benefits from the Obama administration’s mishandling of this shit even as they navigate the tricky waters of advocating for off-shore drilling in a time when the masses are being confronted with the all too real dangers of drilling off-shore.

We the people need the Obama administration to get a handle on this shit…to take the lead and govern the nation through what will be a long and painful multi-stage disaster relief for the Gulf.

So, now that the Oval Office speech is over and meetings with BP executives are gonna happen, this bitch is looking for action and for some oversight that will address the fact that my ass isn’t confident that the same company that got us in this mess is now being charged with getting us out of it.

Which takes me back to the lack of specifics in last night’s speech…

…and my growing fear that any day now we’re gonna see BP approach the leak with a roll of duct tape and prayer.

Blink.

A quick dream-based confession…

Note to the uninitiated – a bitch’s dream based explorations are not based on reality in any way and should not be taken as reality, unless this wakeful state is really a dream and my dreams are reality.

Last night this bitch dreamed that I was a secret agent charged with saving the world from James O’Keefe.

I found out that he was in the midst of a video sting about how poor children are getting milk and a piece of fruit (gasp) through their government subsidized school lunch program.

I gained access to the lunchroom and when O’Keefe brought out his flip-cam to document a child drinking milk, I blew a lepatata horn in his ear.

O’Keefe shrieked, peed himself and then fled the scene while the children laughed, cheered and then got their nutrition on.

Then a bitch woke up.

And folks say those stadium horns aren’t useful (wink).

A not so good sign for the cable news channel that Ted built…

Happy Tuesday, y’all.

Do y’all remember when CNN used to be a cable news channel?

A bitch thinks that may be a question on one of those You May Be a Child of the 80’s quizzicals.

Mercy.

Decades ago, Ted Turner rattled the world of mainstream we’ll give you the news in primetime and you’ll like it news when he launched CNN.  Cable was new…Ted Turner was a billionaire bad boy…and many thought the idea of 24/7 news was ridiculous.  But this bitch was hooked…and I wasn’t the only one.

I’ll never forget watching CNN for hours as correspondents related news of the first Gulf War...and fretting as they whispered that they were hiding in their hotel room while government soldiers searched for them in an attempt to stop their coverage.  Even when there wasn’t a war to cover, CNN was a source that sorta-answered the question of what the fuck was going on.

Those were the days.

Oh, I’m not saying CNN was perfect…far from it.  But they used to be not perfect about the news.

Fast-forward to the now, and a bitch can honestly say I can’t quite describe what the fuck CNN is about…but sorta-news that a certain Eliot Spitzer is fixing to join CNN isn’t a sign that they are getting back to basics.

Pause…consider…continue.

As a matter of fact, Spitzer joining CNN is the cable news network equivalent of a smart mouthed bowl haircut sporting long lost cousin/orphan child joining the cast of a sitcom.

And we all know what used to happen to a sitcom the season after a smart mouth bowl haircut sporting long lost cousin/orphan child joined the cast of a sitcom – that shit was canceled.

It's not too late...this Spitzer shit does not have to happen!

Bail out, CNN!

For the love of all that used to be a cable news channel - bail the fuck out!

A fluff of the Afro to Karnythia of AngryBlackWomen!

A bitch kicked this day off by reading On Being A Black Woman and Happy With It by Karnythia and…well, that post got a bitch fired up and ready to go!

A fluff of the Afro and a thank you, sister!

Enough to make this bitch’s ‘fro ache…

A woman was a teacher at a Christian school in Florida.

She was engaged to marry.

She got married.

She found out she was pregnant.

She went to administration to let them know she’d need maternity leave.

The school administration asked when she got pregnant.

She told them the truth...that she conceived three weeks prior to her wedding but didn’t know she was pregnant until afterward.

The school fired the woman for fornication.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

The school then told students and parents the woman’s personal bitness...specifically when she conceived and why she was fired.

The woman sued.

ABCNews.com posted an article.

A bitch read the article…and it made my ‘fro ache.

Cough.

Rewind to them asking the teacher when she conceived…

What the fuck? 

I wouldn’t have answered that shit…’tis none of their damn business and, short of hacking her doctor’s computer, they wouldn’t be able to find it out any other way.

But okay…clearly we’re dealing with one of those super honest people and she probably didn’t anticipate the school doing the math and then condemning her as a fornicator in the town square.

Ugh.

Let’s move on to the school telling everyone and their dawg this woman’s business...

Oh, hell no! 

I don’t give a hot damn what religious blah, blah, blah a school is associated with – they are still subject to basic privacy laws and there ain’t no way in hell to spin that kind of disclosure as legal.

Mercy.

And now to the pesky issue of faith in the classroom.

If a woman who becomes pregnant and marries loses everything for fornication…

…does that promote abstinence, lying about when a pregnancy was conceived or termination of pregnancy should marriage not be an option?


If you're damned either way, what way do you go?


Pause...sip more coffee...continue.

But hey, the church in question managed to attack a lovely family in their efforts to defend so-called family values – way to sell us heathens on the joyous benefits of faith in the classroom!

Blink.

By request – a bitch’s thoughts on a hot mic verbal malfunction...

A certain Robin from Ohio sent a bitch an email requesting my thoughts on Carly Fiorina’s recent hot mic verbal malfunction.

Um, okay.

I disagree with Carly Fiorina on most things, but she did bring Demon Sheep into the world and…well, a bitch loves those red-eyed sheep!

Anyhoo, Fiorina is running for Senate in California.  She was waiting for an interview to begin and chatting up someone off camera…but her mic was hot and caught everything she said.

A bitch’s take?

I’m surprised anyone on the right thinks Sean Hannity is a tough interview, but apparently Carly Fiorina does.  She expressed astonishment that the GOP candidate for Governor, Meg Whitman, was going on Hannity’s show because Fiorina feels he’s a tough interview.

Interesting.

On one hand, I get that Fiorina was concerned for her friend Whitman.

On the other hand, I’m wondering what Fiorina knows about Whitman’s political spine that we don’t know…’cause she seems to hint that Whitman needs soft interviews to avoid having to answer tough questions.

Pause…consider…continue.

Come to think of it, if Whitman can’t handle Hannity a bitch has to wonder if she even has a political spine!

As for Fiorina’s diss of Senator Boxer’s hair…well, it’s nice to know that her team is tackling all of the tough issues facing California.


Lawd, have mercy.

Fuck it, a bitch can't wait for the Demon Sheep Extreme Makeover!

Blink.

The Hawks win the Cup...

NHL hockey has come to an end.

The Chicago Blackhawks won the cup with an overtime goal by Patrick Kane...of all the no cab fare paying Vanilla Ice hair having Hawks to score the cup winner (wink).

Sigh.

The Flyers played their hearts out...and won a fan in St. Louis (as long as they aren't playing my Blues).

A bitch sincerely hopes my beloved Blues were watching...and I hope they are bitter as hell watching that celebratory shit.

Get hungry, boys...get real fucking hungry and then lace it up and skate for it all next season!

Pause...consider...continue.

Fuck it.

I.

Love.

This.

Game.

Love it!

And a bitch can't wait until next season...

***logs off to drink vodka and talk trash about Kane's hair with C-Money***

More BP oil spill ponderfication…

Shall we?

A bitch just read this news bit about Congress investigating BP and…well, it got my ass thinking about how folks are talking about government as relates to BP.

Hearing the left discuss how the federal government needs to get all up in BPs bitness (some are even demanding a government take-over) isn’t surprising.

But hearing the right demand more government involvement in all things BP is fascinating.

Americans are nothing if not reactive.  Time after time, we the people have to be confronted with some sort of drama to address the source of that drama…and time after time, we the people conveniently forget from whence the drama came once news of the mess is no longer blasting from our various communication devices.

What I find interesting is that the political party that tied patriotism to drilling just a couple of years ago…the same party that said government needed to get out of the way of bitness so that companies can tap into off shore oil…yeah, that political party is kind of getting a pass on this BP fubar.

Catch the knee!


I’m not saying that the Obama administration isn’t responsible for the festival of fubar in the Gulf – they are.

But they aren’t alone in that shit.

More importantly, the Obama administration can’t be alone in that shit…’cause if they are, we the people will face the ramifications of a revolving door of off shore oil drilling reforms followed by deregulation followed by disaster followed by regulation followed by you get the idea.  

Sigh.

We had a policy that didn’t encourage, support or allow for more off shore drilling.

The GOP went after that policy like a dawg on a bone during the 2008 presidential election…and continued to lobby hard for more off shore drilling after the election.

Lobbying for more off shore drilling resulted in President Obama changing policy to allow for some drilling…methinks he used it as a carrot to get something else done, but that’s neither here nor there.

President Obama announced a compromise that would allow for some off shore drilling in late March of this year.

11 people lost their lives after a blowout on the Deepwater Horizon rig April 20, 2010…and the oil’s been gushing since.

Then that tendency to react to drama rather than proactively anticipate drama kicked in…and the same people who were bitching about government regulations standing in the way of off shore drilling are now indicting the government for not fixing the fubar that results from lax regulation of off shore drilling.


The most frustrating part is that many have been predicting this kind of drama for years, so proactive policy was possible.


It just wasn't popular.

Pause…consider…continue.


I guess regulate baby regulate doesn't turn the masses on the way drill baby drill does did.

The optimist in me hopes that members of Congress will take notes and propose some policy changes after they get their BP hearings on.

But the realist in me knows that the blame game rarely produces sound policy.

This has all happened before…

…and, without serious changes, this will all happen again.

Hold please!

Bitchitude shall be delayed today 'cause a bitch just wasted the morning trying to write a post about Lt. Gov. Kinder accusing the left of trending anti-Semitic.

Fuck it - just read this over at Show-Me-Progress.

I'm off to write about the discovery of alien life on Titan...

The Hawks got their groove back…big time!

Hi all!

I missed Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals – had to go see my dear friend Dr. Tim McCarthy speak at The Harvard Club of St. Louis…

…but it seems that the Hawks got their groove back with a 7-4 win over the Flyers!

Holy jumpin’!

Game 6 will be in Philly Wednesday and a bitch shall watch that shit live.

One game…60 minutes on the ice…and everything on the line.

I…love…this…game!

Tied up 2 games to 2 and heading to back to Chicago, baby…

A bitch and C-Money watched Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals last night!

Daaaaaaamn, that was some serious shit!

Confession - I watched it again this morning.

The Flyers came on strong and play was rough as hell.  Some are pointing to bad calls or a lack of calls by the refs…and Lawd knows this was a bad week for sports officiating in general (wince)…but I didn’t think the refs fucked this one up any more than they usually fuck a game up.

Catch that knee!

I know things look different when you’re a fan of one team or the other…no need to hurt a bitch (wink).

Anyhoo, the third period was a gem…the Hawks came back roaring and the last few minutes ticked by with one goal separating the Hawks from overtime!

Alas, overtime was not in the cards last night.

The Flyers empty net goal closed the deal and they won Game 4 with a score of 5 to 3.

And yes, VPOTUS Joey B. and Jill Biden were at the game.

Methinks Jill is a Flyers fan.

Who knew?

Anyhoo, this series now heads back to Chicago for a Sunday Game 5 – and this bitch suspects the officials will be in for an earful of “suggestions” from Hawks fans.

Can't wait, can't wait...CAN'T WAIT!