Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Behold the educated voter...

A bitch voted early this morning...

Number of campaign volunteers outside of a bitch’s polling spot...8
Number of voters within a bitch’s polling spot at 8:45 am... 5
Amount of time it took a bitch to vote... less than 10 minutes
Participating in the democratic process?

That's priceless!

Moving forward full of anticipation over the results…

As some of you know, a bitch is a volunteer. I regularly teach Voter Education classes at local shelters and this bitch always offers to drive those students to the polls on Election Day.

So, my lunch hour today was spent driving four new voters to get their vote on.

Keep in mind that a bitch has taught these young women for several months…so some of the following is evidence of my influence (wink).

Ms. Thang #1 while getting into ABB’s Cabrio…"Why you listening to this old folks music? You know what? You act…”

ABB, cutting Ms. Thang #2 off and channeling my father…Last time I checked this is my car. You want a say in the music? Fork up some cash. Because as long as my name is on this car note my grown folk’s music is on this radio.”


After arriving at the polls, I told them to go forth and get to it.

Ms. Thang #1 (MT#1) didn’t even make it into the door. A campaign volunteer approached her with a sheet of paper listing names of candidates his group was endorsing.

MT#1…What is this? Are you trying to tell me who to vote for? You can’t tell me who to vote for! How many votes do you think you get, anyway? Whatevah…I don’t have time for this.”

She waltzed away muttering something about one person one vote under her breath.

I have created a voting monster...I thought to myself and turned desperately to NPR for solace.

After less than 10 minutes waiting in Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio, Ms Thang #1, #2, #3 and #4 exited the polling spot laughing outrageously.

ABB, face hot with concern over how many calls to the NAACP hotline my tired ass was going to have to make…

MT#2, a fresh faced young mother with dancing eyes, volunteered…MT#1 just educated that election judge! He asked her for her identification and she told him that she wasn’t required by law to show that until the November 7th General Election. You should have seen his face when she said ‘by law’! Girl, where did you get that?”

MT#1, looking rather pleased with herself…I read it on that brochure. He should have known better! I can't stand it when people get the rules wrong and try to confuse people."

And so I drove them back to their temporary home listening to them argue about candidates and that tax issue on the ballot…all the while thinking that listening to them debate was better than Meet the Press, Face the Nation and This Week all wrapped up together.

Congrats to all the new voters and to the newly educated voters as well!


Anonymous said...

Thank you thank you thank you for getting folks to the polls.

Kit B. said...

My heroine! And the good kind...not the kind Lohan snorts.

I might have a straight crush on you...

Anonymous said...


I don't believe in having heroes, but you're mine just the same. Thanks for doing the work.



Anonymous said...

Good for you for taking people to the polls! I have volunteered on campaigns before, canvassing and phone banking, but never actually driving people to the polls. You amaze us all!

Anonymous said...

Bless your heart!!

Uccellina said...

Good for the Misses Thang! And good for you!

Shark-Fu said...

Oh, thank y'all!

Time to grab a rest...and a vodka cran...and watch the results come in.

Hats off to all the volunteers who particpated in the vote and the campaigns.

I'm heading over to Pub Def to see the results...

Anonymous said...

Great post! I'm curious what 'old folks' music you were listening to. So much of the music the young'uns enjoy today feature samples from 'old folks' music.

-- M. in Boston

p.s. Is WILD still around on the AM dial in StL? That used to be the "edgy" alternative to KISS back when I was a young'un in the 70s growing up in StL County.

Anonymous said...

ABB: Excellent post! Thanks for all you do to help along the democracy -- you did a mighty fine job educating the MTs!! I wish there were more of you to go around (sigh)

Exactly what "old folks music" were you listening to? Inquiring minds want to know.


Shark-Fu said...

A bitch was grooving to SWV at the time...which wasn't grown folks music when it came out but apparently is now.


Lisa Blah Blah said...

Coming to this late (as usual), but that is hot. I love the Misses Thang.

Oh, and good for you for helping to get the vote out!

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic and beautiful story! No voter intimidation among the Mesdames Thangs, no indeed!

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna think of it as "getting my vote on" now.
Sounds happening that way.

Anonymous said...

I just have to meet you someday, Bitchissimo! You do US (as in readers, and as in United States) proud.


Joolya said...

that's a great story! but it's pretty creepy that the election judge asked for ID when that was clearly not the rule ... ignorance or maliciousness???

ps: SWV is old folks' music now? sheesh! i just posted about hearing REM on the classic rock station.

Brian said...

Do you really believe that we live in a "Democracy"?

Shark-Fu said...


But society...including systems of government...is made of the people and by the people.

So, if we do not live in a Democracy it is because the people tolerate not living in a Democracy.

This bitch believes that the people should make choices like that from a place of knowledge...which is why I do what I do.

Hope that clears shit up for you.


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