My 24 hours of depressed wallowfication are over.
Long live bitchitude!
Y’all know what?
It’s time for some bitchfirmations.
Note to newish readers - bitchfirmations are bitch-based daily affirmations that replenish my...well, bitchitude.
Jumping in with some old school Little Stevie Wonder jammin in my head...
ABB's Bitchfirmations...
When faced with crisis…
You are the shit and you know you are the shit. Pull yourself together! For every crisis there is a solution. Work the problem, bitch…work it!
And then, once the dust has settled, you will take the time to examine this shit so that the fuckeduptitude does not happen again.
When faced with confrontation…
Bitch, you know damned well that (insert offending asshole) is the one who should be worried. Are you in the right? Okay. Do you have your facts straight? All right then!
Shut the fuck up, put some lipstick on and get down to bitness!
Everyday when this bitch is about to walk out the door…
Oh shit!
Look at you!
Mmmmhmmm…you know you are a too bad for words (wink).
***Fluff afro***
Behold the woman you have become.
***apply fantabulous signature MAC lipstick shade (Underworld Satin)***
Go forth and discover the woman you have yet to be…you sexy assed smart talkin’ Hershey chocolate diva bitch!
***blow kiss at reflection***
And proceed to keep it real.
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10 comments:
I've been using last summer's "Bitch in a Bubble" as my guide lately.
That's right -- my bitchitude is my shield. I will roll up, over and across the ass that gets in my way.
Your riff on your fantabulous MAC lipstick color seems like a perfect opening to reveal this: Now, don't get scared, cuz I am not obsessive or a stalker-type personality or anything -- and I am NOT in control of my subconscious REM-sleep brain, but...
Last week I had a dream that I saw ABB on the cover of a slick magazine called VOGUER (don't ask me), and that a bitch's real name was Shirley. Of course, I don't know what a bitch really looks like, nor what her real name is, but the cover was kickass. Weird? Yes! I am worried about my own brain -- maybe I need to take a break from habitual blogreading.
But maybe you can consider this a premonition for your future fantabulous success on the publishing presses!
Shirley? Nope...not a bitch's name.
However, that would make a great club faux name...
As long as my afro looked fantabulous in your dream-based exploration its all good.
Oh yeah baby...you're back and taking charge!
Mmm. Mmm. MMMmmmm.
Go on with your bad self, Shark Fu!
Word!
CP.
A bitch is my shepardess, and I shall not want. I'm doing a home improvement project that I keep fucking up, and I just quit to have a cocktail instead. You've fired me up to go finish that shit! Damn, a bitch makes me almost wish I was straight...love to you, ABB!
Jeem...a bitch was mentally jammin to Stevie Wonder's Fingertips Part 2, but any old school Stevie Wonder will do (wink).
Christopher...LOL! Hugs and adoration to you. Go on with your bad home improvement project completing self!
Does Oprah still do those "Remember Your Spirit" segments? I think someone should tell her she'd be better off with a segment called "Remember Your Bitch"....
First, thank you for your words and attitude. Second, may I improve upon one of your bitchfirmations? "You are the shit and you know you are the shit. Pull yourself together! For every crisis there is a solution. Work the solution, bitch…work it!"
Also, you inspired me to sign up for a Big Sister newsletter in my local area. It is a little step, but in the right direction.
ABB,
I read this - (Underworld Satin)
As "Underworld stain".....
Dyslexia can be an awful affliction, but sometimes it brings up pure gold....well, sort of murky brown in this case bu "you know whamsain'"!
(smarms down geeky, brycreemed, white colege boy side parting...)
Love on ya,
Bob
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