Friday, March 16, 2012

The Jesus Had a Pet Dinosaur and Obama Bailed Out Unicorn Farms Project…

Happy Friday, y’all!

Shall we?

Like many, I’ve struggled to keep my spirits up when there have been waves upon waves upon waves of oppressive attacks from those bent on keeping their boots on our necks and their laws in our lady bits.

The ongoing fight over birth control has been particularly draining.  I think that’s because I know this battle has been fought and won…but here we are again, defending access to something that the majority of people use and that has been accepted as health care for decades.

I’ve got to be honest – hearing Americans say that birth control isn’t health care makes me fear for the intellectual capacity of the masses almost as much as hearing Americans claim that Jesus had a pet dinosaur.


I woke up this morning pondering this shit…only to arrive at the conclusion that these battles are so draining because it takes a lot of energy to process illogical shit when you start out assuming there’s some logic behind it.

Think about it – how often have you heard some conservative statement and tried to figure out how the asshole saying it even got there only to find your Afro hurting by the time you come to the conclusion that he or she must have pulled that bizarreness out of their ass?


Well, I’m over it.

I mean it.

The next time one of these wacky fools tells me that birth control isn’t health care…or that emergency contraception is the same as the abortion pill…that environmental activism is anti-American…that they’ve found the cure for Autism…corporations are people…or that they oppose measures to protect LGBT students from bullying out of love…


I’m going to respond with something they’ll understand…

“Yep, just like Jesus had a pet dinosaur and Obama sent billions of your money to bailout those silly unicorn farms!”

…and then smile hard while showing a lot of teeth.

Wow, I feel fantabulous just writing it.

I’ll keep y’all posted.



D. said...

Because unicorn droppings are wonderful fertilizer!

(Y'know, in case anyone asks what unicorn farms are for.)

MommieDammit said...

Darlin' I give you full credit for more patience with this bullshit than this old drag queen can muster. All of this crap coming from the Far Reich makes my rubber tits tired as hell. Its living proof of what I've said for decades: "Ignorance can be fixed - you can learn. But stupidity can only be cured with a bullet."

BTW - I'm very glad I stumbled across your blog a couple of months ago, and am a little embarrassed I haven't said "howdy" before this.

Love, Light & Lipstick!
Mommie Dammit

Unknown said...

I adore your work and your's your Brother...

snjmom said...

And deep fried Twinkies are good for ya! They got dairy, it's one of the food groups! Eat all ya want.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if I am more annoyed, outraged, or just plain embarrassed that the vagina has been on the national news as such a controversial subject of debate. Seriously, yo. I have my own. I don't need to have the vag constantly shoved in my face on a daily basis by all possible media outlets - nor do I need to hear my vag debated and denigrated by assclowns who don't have one of their own. Yeesh!!!

The Gumdrop Stage of Grief ...

So many of you have shared condolences and support after the death of my beloved brother Bill from COVID-19. I wish I could thank you indiv...