Friday, July 13, 2007


Yesterday this bitch went to the dentist with my brother Bill.

Newish readers should know that Bill is autistic and my sister and this bitch are co-guardians.

So, yesterday we went to the dentist…Bill and this bitch.

Oh, and newish readers should also know that Bill loves to eat and loves to list off the things he loves to eat. Bill doesn’t speak in sentences, so he just keeps rattling off his favorite foods over and over again while looking you dead in the eye as if he were negotiating a cease fire between nations at war.

He’s the oldest of the three of us and…well, we’re not chil’ren anymore (wince) so fast food yumminess has become a "sometimes food" indulgence thus making the listing of such foods in hopes of getting them serious business.

Yeah, so yesterday we went to the dentist…a bitch and Bill.


I should add that we were able to get dental coverage for Bill through C-Money's insurance (he had been without it because certain shameless anti-family evil Republican motherfuckers cut dental rather than cut the pork) so this was the first consultation visit with a new dentist. Bill is profoundly autistic…hates change…and has the patience of a 2 year old three hours into a 6 hour car ride to see Barney on Ice.


Anyhoo, yesterday I went to the dentist with Bill.

The visit went very well. Bill was in great spirits, enjoyed the fact that the waiting room had a ton of magazines and really liked his new dentist. The assistant and dentist even enjoyed Bill’s random lobbying for pizza ever two seconds (pizza is the new “it” food).


"Open wide."


"Move your tongue."

"Pizza, pizza, pizza!"

Lawd, have mercy.

After the appointment I handled the paperwork associated with the new insurance while Bill sat and looked at more magazines. I felt a feeling…a certain solidity that comes from knowing that a needed thing is covered.

That feeling was just beginning to register when the waiting room door opened and…I kid you not…a pizza delivery man entered carrying one of those keep shit hot containers stacked with yummified pizza!

Bill almost fainted…his eyes went huge…he looked at me with such amazement that I thought the man would cry!

“No, no…not for us, Bill.” I said softly, fearing that he’d have a fit when he realized his baby sister hadn’t granted his ultimate pizza-based dream.

But Bill just grunted, took a long sorrowful sniff and went back to his magazine.


After years of worry, anxious check-ups and fretful budgeting….after years of attending appointments as a guardian/advocate/case manager/hell raiser…after all that shit, yesterday I went to the dentist with my brother.

His name is Bill.

His teeth look great.

And the only thing I worried about was whether he’d tackle the pizza delivery man.

Amazing, but it shouldn't be.

That feeling...that ability to just be a sister caring for her brother?

That shit needs to be universal.


Anonymous said...

You. Are. Awesome.

THIS bitch is very moved by your accounts of caring for your brother, and this bitch gets a lil choked up, too. Damn.

I'm a new reader, but also your newest fan.
Keep it up please.. best to you.

Disgusted in St. Louis said...

What a great story -- thank you for sharing it, ABB. Now, not only am I left wondering if Bill got some pizza after leaving the dentist -- I will be making some pizza for dinner tonight (while watching a pizza perfect movie Forbidden Planet).

Shark-Fu said...

Deschanel...thank you and thanks for the comment!

Disgusted...I had to go back to work, but staff promised to hook him up for dinner! Cheese and 'roni...yum!

more cowbell said...

This post really touched me. Yes, that feeling of just having SECURITY, knowing that whatever else happens, our basic health needs are taken care of -- that is priceless.

Hell, that's why I'm still at my run-of-the-mill, employed-by-the-state, crappy-paycheck job. It has health care. Apparently decent health care, for this country. I have kids. My ex is a contractor overseas with no insurance for the kids. I need that shit. I'll take it. Who cares if I like the job or not.

I think not having that basic level of security is a huge contributor or the general anxiety level that covers average folks' lives in this country.

Anonymous said...

What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing it.

evilganome said...

Great story. I used to work in human services and Bill sounds like he is much easier to deal with than some of my old clients were. I will have to write about Margret and the Coca Cola episode in the big box store.

Lordy, lordy. It's great that you guys have each other and that Bill has you to watch over him.

Anonymous said...

Could there be a more perfect moment of wonder and life happening?
Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Could there be a more perfect moment of wonder and life happening?
Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

awww, what a sweet story. we can feel the love... Bill sounds like a kick! thanks for sharing

Unknown said...

Caring for an adult family member isn't made any easier by the asshats in charge..thats f'd up.

Bill has a wonderful support system, many can't say that.

Kudos Bitch :)

Maya's Granny said...

My glasses are foggy.
How sad that there should ever be a time when anyone would have to worry about taking someone to the dentist.

I never had insurance when my kids were growing up and because Julie needed braces, Richard and I went for seven years without seeing a dentist at all. Such things are a crime.

calugg said...

Yes, health AND dental care should be universal in a country that has such enormous wealth.

Who benefits by the US NOT having universal health & dental care? Insurance companies and larger corporations/companies that can offer benefits as a means of enticing people to do really crappy jobs.

I've always found it fascinating that the GOP makes all this noise about caring for small business, but health/dental care is why a lot of people won't start up their own businessness (or work for start ups). The haves get rewarded (since big bidness deduct their health care costs from their taxes) and the little folks get, well, you know the story.

Thanks for a great post.

proudprogressive said...

What a story and YES this shit should be universial. For all of us. Basic dental and eye care. My medicare lacks that. I live on one check.

I love Pizza too !

When i was employed - my dental and eye check ups were regular.

Nowadays - well a yr ago i had a molar yanked vs. a root canal - root canals are for the rich or well insured. y'all know.

ABB what a sweet story , its great how well Bill did at his new dentist and extroidinary that C money has insurance that can include him.

We must demand this, Universial Health care , right after we Impeach these over reaching criminals in office. We must Impeach, our entire constitution is at stake. But a progressive bitch does digress.

Brian said...

That was a great story ABB. Glad that you are taking pride in your role.

You summed up the importance of family in this post... as well as the importance of healthcare. You are one of the lucky ones, but basic healthcare is becoming a thing of the past for many other folks.

On a somewhat related note...

I encourage everyone to get out and see 'Sicko'.

Meanwhile, Little George says he plans to veto a Bill just passed by Congress that would offer health insurance to more children who would otherwise be uninsured (over 4 million kids). The plan would cost a few Billion over 5 years... approximately $5 billion per year. But Bush says no. Wasting $8-12 Billion every month on a bullshit war is far more important. Ahhh... more compassionate Conservatism from the family values folks. They value families... but they don't value health for families. Instead of giving you access to healthcare, I guess they will pray for you.

Anonymous said...

I love all your posts about Bill. I'm so glad he saw the dentist and his teeth look great--that's a blessing. You and C-money are wonderful sisters. I hope Bill has a pizza feast soon!

The Bear Maiden said...

I love hearing about Bill. I have a friend who's nephew is profoundly autistic and mute. We seem him fairly frequently. Being Hispanic, institutionalizing wasn't even a consideration, and so Jonny goes everywhere, even Disneyworld (which he LOVES). His mom jokes that the advantage of having an autistic child is no lines at Disney! But on the real tip, there are the scary moments... like the moment Jonny decided he wanted McDonald's French Fries (his favorite and a food staple) right that second, so off he went to get some. In just his underwear. Out the house, down the block around the corner. The family freaked. The police were called. When they caught up to him, he was sitting in McD's with cop, happily munching fries and snapping away.

Another time he got lost after a fireworks display. Cops were called. Everyone searched. The found him crouching beneath the window of the police kiosk, watching his portable DVD. And snapping away.

God Bless Bill, and you too, and Jonny.

Health care is a bitch. On Medicaid, I got "welfare treatment" but all my medications were covered. I have a good job now, and good health insurance and have spent $140 in 3 months on prescription "co-pays".

And they wonder why there is such a thing as Medicaid Fraud!!!

Anonymous said...

Wonderful that you take care of your brother like that, I commend you, It's hard for me to just accept the fact that my brothers are hopeless and don't want the help.. Best to you

Alden said...

Yowsa, I would have peed a bit. Mainly because, mine actually would have latched onto delivery man's leg hoping to catch a ride to the magical land of overflowing pizza.

Kudos to your tenacious spirit you have in tow.

Unknown said...

I love lurking on your blog, but that post about Bill...I know I definitely have gotten myself through the day by focusing on something else. Besides telling folks what he's up to, I don't feel much different than Bill. And being a caregiver is a special kind of out-of-body feeling, isn't it? You find yourself so consumed in manifesting the well-being of another that you seem to disappear seamlessly into them.

Anonymous said...

i love, love, love your blog!! i'm always especially moved by the posts about bill.

boy, don't i know about some lack of dental coverage... every time i run my tongue over the gap on the upper left side of my mouth... the offer 20 yrs ago was pull tooth for $60 or root canal for $300+... well, i've never eaten an apple or nuts or any other hard foods on that side of my mouth since. may sound small, but it is a loss... one that seems so unnecessary.

i have medical insurance now, but not dental so one major hilight of a recent dream trip to southeast asia was a $12 tooth-cleaning in chiang mai, thailand... 1st in over 2 yrs (back when i had a job with dental!) sad but oh so true!

J said...

You've reminded us that family is SO important. I wish they had given him a slice of pizza at the dentist's office...

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