Thursday, May 03, 2007

A quick read...

A certain Courtney sent this bitch an e-mail asking all sorts of questions about my leg (still fuck up, by the way...but getting better).

Courtney with a C. thinks that a bitch should read The Secret and is pretty damned sure that my leg is fucked up because I “brought that negativity on myself” and that I need to practice the “laws of attraction” to bring about a healing of some sort.


Courtney, please sit down.

Go on, honey…sit.

As a word of advice, telling a bitch that my sprained ankle and slow to heal leg-based area are my fault rather than the fault of that motherfucking uneven pavement combined with two overly eager to get their walk on sorta-beagles is just fucked up.

Shit, a bitch’s leg is swollen to twice its natural size!

I need an ice pack and some Aspirin, motherfucker, not a pep talk.


I am aware of The Secret.

A bitch is all about positive thinking, but I come from the realness school of life. If something is fucked up I believe we should acknowledge that it is fucked up, study what it will take to fix it and then get about the business of making it not fucked up.

That’s positive as a motherfucker in my book.

I do not believe that America is in debt because of the laws of attraction. America is in debt because of a pork adoring Congress, flawed financial management, insane trade policies and war. The only role attraction played in that shit is that bullshit attracts flies, idiots attract fucked up policy and poor planning attracts unanticipated consequences.


The way I see it someone ripped off Mary Baker Eddy, added some current interviews and has proceeded to cash the fuck in.

But fuck it…if it works for your Courtney, go with Gawd. Shit, you’ll probably blame yourself for attracting this bitchitude, won’t you?

Lawd, have mercy!

A bitch finds this school of thought dangerous.

If it doesn’t work for you, that’s your fault.

If it does then the book is genius.

More over, I feel that it supports the view that those who do not prosper under the American definition of prosperity have only themselves to blame.

The poor need to get up and work…the over weight need to push away from the table…so do the mentally challenged need to try to attract mental stability?

There are no real problem solving solutions contained in this model.

Just a series of validations for doing what you want to do and ignoring what you want to ignore.

So, I think I’ll take pass.

But hey, thanks for sharing Courtney with a C!



Chronicles Of The Sexy Fat Chick said...

Love the post! And I totally agree about the self help book. I read the 1st paragraph of the link and was done. Oprah needs to stop recommending this shit. Holla

TwinsGoddess said...

*eye roll*

Some people need to watch a little less Oprah, I think.

Anonymous said...

Looks like our fine Courtney with a C got herself mixed up in some sort of cult.


Let's hope she doesn't get mixed up in some sort of "slip 'n fall" next. THEN WHAT?



Anonymous said...

Can I get an AMEN?

Thanks for keeping it reality-based, ABB.

Raej said...

if anyone mentions "the secret" to me, i point i already read norman vincemt peale's version of it.


i agree that thinking positively can be good for you, but i disagree that Being Negative will bring Horrors and Damnation upon you. . .isn't that one step away from saying Critisizing our government aids our enemies?

on a yummier topic: ABB, have you ever tried Bueno bars by Kinder? foreign chocolate hazelnut wafer creme yumminess!

Melody said...

Preach it girl!

~Macarena~ said...

ABB, stop attracting comments from people who make your afro hurt. No, wait, maybe I'm attracting them. I better clean my aura.

Why haven't habitual lottery players come out against this argument?

It's the same idea used to fault worshippers rather than God for their lot in life. I haven't heard anyone say outright poor people are poor because they won't let God work his will on them, because the example usually stops at referring to finances or lack of riches in general.

Anonymous said...

It's a wonder Courtney even had to type the email suggesting your injury was your fault when she could have simply wished the communication into existence - such is the power of "The Secret".

Who was it that said there's a sucker born every minute..?

Hope the leg heals up soon, ABB. Cheers :)

Anonymous said...

I love you ABB! That book The Secret riles me up too. Especially the point you bring up of all negativity being the fault of the victim.

Julie The Vintage Goddess said...

Sounds very much like the "Name it and Claim It" form of Fundi-Christianity that says if you are "faithful" enough (and send in enough money) all your wishes will come true. God will bless you abundantly and if not then you just must have some sin in your life.

(BTW, I'm a long time lurker, nice to meetcha')

Anonymous said...

Can all of us with a taste for the "real"
please just pass the word to keep THE SECRET,
a secret--?
And children, you got to believe that sometimes Ms.
O may just be reading too fast. . . .

Camera Obscura said...

An Amen for Anonymous and another for myself.

That woman is making beaucoup immoral bucks offa tying old tripe to the al-migh-tay dollah and selling it to a desperate and / or gullable public.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe in THE SECRET as much as I believe in the principles behind it. I've seen in my own life that sometimes just believing you'll get a positive result rather than a negative one can greatly increase the chances of the positive result occurring. You still have to take an active role in your life and just because you think positively doesn't mean you'll get each and everything you want, but I think a lot of people use what The Secret calls "the law of attraction" without consciously thinking about it.

I don't believe, however, that these principles trump common sense. If I'm sick I'm gonna go to the doctor.

Ultimately, I think it's not much different than people who believe prayer helps them get what they want (and I usually think that is a bunch of crap). I think what you call the fine art of bitchitude may be what you use.

Feel better!

Anonymous said...

Long time lurker, first time poster...

Yeah, positive thinking is good for you. So is eating green vegetables. Eat nothing but green vegetables, and eventually you starve to death.

Positive thinking is not THE answer, it is A tool.

As always... it has been a pleasure, bitch.

christine mtm said...

i read the first paragraph of that book's link and wanted to be sick.

don't want to be poor... don't look at poor people. what the? what happened to making the world a better place for all people not just our selfish selves?

Anonymous said...

God, you are beautiful!

DeppFan said...

I had someone once tell me that my nosebleeds were really me "wanting attention". She said it in a room full of other women. I was mortified.
Then an R.N. in the room rolled her eyes and explained to me that it was probably a blood vessel that was getting thin, and a cauterization would fix it. It did. Glad she cleared up that B.S.
My sister in law just died because she wouldn't have a breast lump removed. She felt a macrobiotic diet would cure it. She did make it 8 years with no medical treatment. But she died at 59.
I'm with you, ABB. Positive thinking is only ONE tool in the toolbox of possible solutions to life's challenges.

Maya's Granny said...

You are so right on! I have heard the holocaust victims blamed for attracting the gas ovens to themselves. And I've even heard that deformed babies attracted it to themselves for things they thought in a past life!

I agree that if you are looking for good things, you are more apt to find them -- just like if you are looking for acorns, you are more likely to see the ones that are there. But they have to be there for you to see them.

I did a post on my experience with the law of attraction, at
However, if you read it, please note that the way I got that typewriter was that my parents overheard me repeating that I was going to get one.

BarefootCajun said...

I heart ABB. I have never been fond of the concept of thinking all positive thoughts will get you everything you want.

You were able to explain it much better than I ever could. Thanks!

Jeffrey Ricker said...

Here's my beef: if they're publishing a book and blabbing it all over Oprah, it's not really a fucking secret, is it? Methinks it's time for the "Smells like Bullshit" clip art to make an appearance. Meanwhile, I'll just have another cup of tea in my Bitchitude mug....

Anonymous said...

While i'm all for positive thinking, unsolicited spiritual counseling? Not so much.



Anonymous said...

Let the church say "Amen"!
My problem with "The Secret" is...if all of these famous people knew about it...why the fuck didn't they tell their friends? Why didn't they tell everyone they knew?
And has someone just hauled off and put the entire book on their blog yet?

Lola Gets said...

I agree with you and most of the posters! "The Secret" is a backhanded compliment - if your world is good then great, if not, then its youre fault!

I am sooo not wasting money on this book.

Anonymous said...

Now that shit is high-larious, Angry Bitch. I guess Courtney brought this on too..."STFU Courtney, ya dumb beotch!" Word!

Anonymous said...

It's so much worse in California - as every cheesy alterna-healing crystal bullshitter seems to flock here - And it always comes with an unhealthy dose of blaming the sick person for being sick. I do feel it buys right in to a bigger pattern of encouraging individual action and "attitude" over political action.

Doug Duckworth said...

The secret is a way for people, who are simply depressed, to feel they are in control of their life. If something bad happens then its their fault. Not only is this blaming the victim in some situations, but also gives people a crazy sense of godlike control which does not exist.

supergirlest said...

... like a rape victim wanted to be raped... blech.

hope your leg is healed quickest and fastest!

Anonymous said...

Someone mentioned it's like fundie Christianity and other cults. It's also like every fake-ass pseudo-occult scam artist out there -- if it's not working, it's because someone present doesn't believe.

- Hypatia (no blogger account)

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