Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Thank you all for your comments to yesterday’s post. I really appreciate your support.

I want y’all to know that I don’t share stories from my life to inspire defeat. I share them to gain strength in numbers…to be refueled for the struggle…and to keep this shit real in my heart and mind.

So thank you for your prayers, advice and concern.

Several of you have asked for an update. For obvious reasons I am limited as to what I can say, but I will share what I can. We will be able to confirm if there is or isn’t a pregnancy within the next week. The police have been notified and the rape is being investigated.

As for the hospital in question, I have contacted them and plan to have a sit down soon. Trust that I’ll let y’all know what’s what once that meeting is over.

An anonymous comment asked who I was to take a 14 year old to Planned Parenthood. Well, I’m the human being who was there at that moment in her life. I believe that I was supposed to be there and take that young woman someplace where she could get answers and options. I’m grateful for that and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Another comment asked where her parents are. I knew that one was coming. There is the world of parenthood we would like and then the world that really exists. Parents are human…some are fantabulous…and some are not. Not every parent is there for their child and some of those that are there are not the parents you want with you when dealing with drama.

But the “where were her parents” question speaks to the assumption that they are not “good parents”. How could they be? If they were “good parents” their child wouldn’t have “gotten herself into trouble” then sought out an AngryBlackBitch to help out.



I know that song and I’m in no mood to dance.


We can acknowledge this reality…see the system failures within it for what they are…and do something.

Contact your local Planned Parenthood or NARAL or ACLU and ask them what the hell is going on regarding Emergency Contraception in your area. Find out if there are incidents of hospitals refusing to offer it…find out if pharmacies have refused to fill prescriptions…find out if there are age limits on access, what those limits are and ask why those limits are.

Know who the local rape counseling agencies are and what they are in need of…who is offering what services and how they are doing…what shelters are where and what they need to continue to provide services.

Get familiar with the violent crime statistics in your community. Find out what the hell is being done about it and what you should be aware of as a resident. Find out what you need to alert your friends and family of.

Find out what the real is…and then do something.

I did not share this with y’all to demoralize and I sincerely hope that isn’t the result. I want you to know that by sharing it I have felt rage shift to anger and confusion shift to purpose.

Even in moments like this we are not powerless.

Particularly in moments like this we must be powerful.

Be blessed.


Kate said...

You're fantastic. I'll keep thinking of you and your smart, young friend.

Anonymous said...

I hope so much that this young lass is not pregnant and I am thinking of her. I know how easy it is to say that when I'm all the way over here in England, and it does sound trite. But it's true and from the heart. This is a truly hideous situation and she wasn't protected fully.
As to the anonymous commenter who asked who you were to take a 14 yr old girl etc - unbelievable. That she's got such a strong woman supporting her through this is a blessing.
Wishing you strength. Wishing the young lassy strength, peace and hope that she won't be pregnant after her ordeal.

Brian said...

Ahh... I now see that the police are finally involved.

Disregard my other comment then....

But I hear too many stories about young women not reporting. This only encourages the perpetrator.

La Otra said...

I hope this young woman will be alright, and I wish her the best. You being there for her through such hell is more important than anything, Shark-Fu. So many survivors have no one.

Be blessed, both of you.

Anonymous said...

I do so hope that this young woman will go beyond all that has happened to her and become empowered
and strong.
Thank you ABB . . . .
I too was in your position a few years ago. I did as you did and thank all that shines for Planned Parenthood.
And who does the questioner think that they are to not see reality but some 1950s version of the real world where parents are gentle listeners and do all the right things by their children?

Ancrene Wiseass said...

Even in moments like this we are not powerless.

Particularly in moments like this we must be powerful.

Yes. And thank you for reminding us of that.

Anonymous said...

i'm outraged that this young woman wasn't offered EC at the hospital. are you able to share which hospital she visited?

Anonymous said...

Thank god you were there & will still be there for her when she needs a sister & an ally.

Anonymous said...

It blows the mind that this poor kid has to suffer through this - I am glad you were there to take her to Planned Parenthood - as if the alternative, that she suffer, in silence, in ignorance, alone, would be an improvement.

I was curious about the hospital - 1. is it a religiously affliated hospital, and 2. did they encourage her to talk to the police, and 3. did they have a trained nurse/doctor to do the forensic kit for DNA analysis?

Sometimes you see so much in this world that makes you sad it is hard to keep going.

Me. Here. Right now. said...

In this day, it's easy to blame parents when it's the raping monster to be blamed...easy to blame the girl ...when the raping monster should be blamed.

And, if we don't get a grip on who gets elected and get that Supreme Court situation fixed, we are all going to lose our right to control our bodies and it won't be fixed in the next 50 years.

What are we thinking? I have never wished a period on anyone, but today I will.

Sparks said...

One of the things I hope most for my little daughters is that they have adult women friends like you as backup when they feel they cannot go to Mom. I'd be heartbroken to be left out, and eternally grateful for the top-drawer woman care.

Anonymous said...

Sending out good thoughts of healing and peace to that 14 year old, young lady.

And this story is an indication of the contradictions in the "emergency contraception conundrum," being that the rapist who took away her right to say no, her right to remain UNVIOLATED is more important than her right to be a normal, unraped, potentially unpregnant, 14 year old.

Keep fighting the good fight, ABB.

You're an angel.

proudprogressive said...

Exactly ! Know the services in your own communities. We have pharmacies and hospitals here in the rural place i live , that do not do rape kits even..Disgustingly primitive. We have pharmacists that are allowed to contridicts drs orders and FDA regulations regarding the morning after pill, which should be over the counter anyhow. Naral has failed women more then once. Planned Parenthood has a proud heritage of justice and service to women. Until Women have control over our bodies completely under the laws the struggle will continue. And that goes for complete health education regarding safe sex and non of this hokum of abstinance only. Adolecents have sex. I swear i am not a parent , but feel at times i care for other people's children more then they do. Seems to me, some parents would rather their own kids die of ignorance. vs. hearing science and the fact sex happens,(sooner or later) and they live in a diverse society. Its called Public Health for a reason. It belongs to the public,not the churches. sheeh

AND as you say Shark its all about the action and the transformation of rage into constructive action..cause it is outrageous thats for sure.

- PP

Batocchio said...

Best of luck with that meeting. And best wishes to both you and the young woman. Stories like that make me furious. Efforts to restrict or deny emergency contraception have a very real human cost, and it's important to share them.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure that anything I write about who I am (white male, 44, Veteran, RPCV, former law enforcement, likes long walks on moonlit beaches, discussions of Kierkegaard and Rawls and bright shiny things), but I love, love-love-love you. I have no idea what you may look like, but my god, what a -- pardon me for being agnostic -- beautiful spirit you have.

The world is a better place with you in it.

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