My ass spent the weekend doing all the shit that doesn’t get done during the week. But, on a positive note, a bitch was honored to meet my Play Husband’s darling mother! She is an absolute joy, which explains why her son is such a great friend/faux spouse/person.
We indulged in some serious soul food at Sweetie Pies Friday evening and then spicy yummtastic Thai fantabulousness at SEN Saturday night.
My Play Mother in Law is awesome. Being able to say that is yet another reason to 'pretend marry' a gay white man who knows what to do with collard greens and shares an adoration for soul music (wink).
Love you like hot sauce at a picnic, honey!
You better think! (think)…
Think about what you're tryin' to do to me
Yeah, Think (think-think)
Let your mind go let yourself be free!
While shaking my groove thing to the masterful soulfulness of a certain Aretha Franklin, this bitch is in the midst of preparing my Presidential address List of Needed Items.
My ass hasn't decided whether to do a scorecard this time...since a bitch is still recovering from the last Scooter B. Presidential Address/Drinking Game.
Longtime readers know that a bitch almost always provides a recap of Scooter B.’s addresses to the nation. This bitch knows how difficult it can be to suffer through these speeches and my ass is there for you…with a delay, of course…because bitch-based analysis takes time.
ABB’s Preliminary List of Needed Things in Preparation for Scooter B’s Address to the nation…
Vodka…tonight we are going to give a nod to Russia. Sorry AbsolutBilly, but a bitch believes in global vodka based diplomacy (wink).
Following cubes of ice and then followed by at least two dashes of...
Cran…hmmm, a bitch is leaning towards a nice tart grape/cran blend.
Queso…This bitch plans to whip up some spicy queso in honor of Kinky Friedman’s run for Governor of Texas.
A bitch doesn’t endorse and my ass certainly isn't going to endorse in a state this bitch no longer lives in, but it’s a joy to see someone run for office that says shit like Why the Hell Not and May the God of Your Choice Bless You. And just think about the debates to come! The smart promoter would sell tickets.
Chips…this bitch likes those minified corn chips that you can pop in your mouth quickly between hurling verbal insults at the television and slurping vodka crans.
Cookies for C-Money…because C-Money likes cookies.
A bitch is off the Sudafed. Yeah, it’s hard to believe! Shit, if only kicking cigs was that simple. Sigh. Anyhoo, the only needed meds for tonight are pills…of the Excedrin variety…because Scooter B makes my head hurt.