Tuesday, May 03, 2005

I'm Fired Up...Can't Take No More!

I was just taking a mental break from the drama of deadlines and got caught up on Madame Mamma. Miss M. has some interesting thoughts on the State of the Black Union. Since this is one of the reasons a bitch is angry, I was intrigued. I must confess that I did not catch the segment on the Today Show that touched on this topic; a bitch was a wee bit slow this morning. But since Cosby decided to go off and tell it like it is, a bitch’s thoughts have returned again and again to my people and our situation.

ABB ponders the topic with deep introspection and a furrowed brow.

Why are we so fucked up? Are "we" fucked up or are "we" being defined by the vocal among us?

I am overwhelmed and proud of the history of the African in America. We are some bad assed folks! Look at what we have done and how we got it done. Amazing. And I claim this history and my own. This is my culture too and what is done in it's name is automatically my fucking business.

A bitch thinks that there are some among us who need to be re-motivated. In order to fuel my militant engine, I often watch Eyes on the Prize. Yeah, I know that 1954-1965 is all We Shall Overcome, but I prefer the militant and angry late ‘60s and ‘70s. Large Afro’s, raised fists and angry black bitches all over the place! Gets a sistah riled up just thinking about it!!

I digress. People, there is a right and there is a wrong. We have a hard time holding to that simple fact.

Angry Black Bitch’s Motivational Effort for My Peoples

Stop the Fucking. Start the Planning..
My people! Stop fucking without latex! It’s really that simple. Raw assed sex is problematic. There are diseases that will kill your ass! Babies cost money and deserve the right to enter into the world in love not drama. Get your ass a plan, got to school and find a path. If you want to start a family, the first thing you need to start is a relationship. If you are planning on going solo with that shit, then stop bitching and get to parenting. The best way to see if someone is full of shit or reckless is to take his/her ass to the clinic. If they walk through the door with you, they might be a keeper. If they pass or act put out, drop their ass! Trust me, they have been fucking without latex and will pursue that habit with your ass!

The pill is not part of the man’s master plan to eliminate our asses. Get that crazy assed shit out of your head right now. If you don’t like hormones, get some latex and get over it! You using hormones? Get some latex and move on too. A bitch is tired of hearing 30% of sistahs claim their baby is part of the 1% failure rate. I’m no math genius, but that shit defies logic! ABB advocates planned parenthood and some fucking discipline. We are beyond crisis and this shit needs to stop!

If it’s not your crack then it’s not your fucking money!
Why! Why do drug dealing brothas and sistahs act like that roll of $20s in their pocket is their cash? Was it your crack? No? Then it’s not your fucking cash! Open your eyes and look around you. Your ass is living in the ghetto, hustling for some distant motherfucker and facing death and jail solo. Does that make sense? If yes, then this is a Darwinian situation and I wish you the best of luck with that. If not, then turn and face the mirror and repeat after me “My ass will stop this shit now and learn a trade”. Legal work is so much easier than illegal hustling. Trust me on that. It may bore your ass, but it is still less drama than dealing or hoing. Your ass is working hard and running in place. Yep, crack dealing is just a tired assed treadmill to jail.

This also applies to hoing. Bitch, fucking for cash is as old as the day is long. Handing that cash over to your pimp/man/ole man is some dumb assed shit. If the job is too dangerous to actually keep the profits, MOVE YOUR ASS ON!

I’m Down as a Motherfucker, but I don’t wanna live next to your ghetto ass.
Poor does not equal broke-down. Wash your ass, motherfuckers! And clean your chil’ren up. Jesus, stop shouting all the time. Pull your broke-down ass together.
  • Get your ass some clippers and take that uneven assed ‘fro down.
  • Wash, trim your nails, brush your teeth and iron your clothes.
  • You dressed that baby nice for 6 months. What the fuck happened?
  • Gold is for jewelry. Teeth are for chewing. Bling and dental visits should never mix.
  • If you can’t keep up on the fills, don’t dance with the acrylics!
  • Comb your hair! Go natural if your ass is broke. I did! There’s no excuse for that crazy assed 50% braided head going into McDonald’s talking about “My ass needs an applications”. Jesus!
  • How would you like it if I played Frank Sinatra at maximum volume at 6am in the morning? Yeah! Well, that’s how I feel when you blast 50 Cent at 10pm at night. Turn that shit down, go to sleep and tomorrow go get a job to pay for that obnoxious assed system.
  • It’s a lawn, motherfucker, not a trash can! Next time you litter, I’m going to drop some dog shit in that bag of chips and leave it on your doorstep. Nasty ass.

In summary, we have a lot to be proud of. And we are not the only culture that has some ignorant shit to deal with. I mean, look at the red neck in the White House! I know several Texans who are sorry about that shit. We need to reinvest in our communities. We need to participate and motivate.

My Grandparents were poor people. Hell, my ass doesn’t have any fucking money! They worked hard, cleaned what they had and were proud to provide for their children. Poor doesn’t equal ignorant, black doesn't equal poor and prosperity can be found beyond the basketball court or video shoot.

What we need is a dash of pride tossed with some shame and dignity. Is there a store in the mall selling that?


Erika said...

You are killing it. Nothing but the utmost respect for you ABB...a lot of it. Dang.

Anonymous said...

You truly have a gift, whether it is debate, or journalism I don't know! Well spoken, you're my superhero!

Kenneth said...

I love you. : )

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