Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Ain’t no Fog in this War! – The Heathens of Shaw Episode 3

Thanks for all the advice and the volunteering of several hack saws. A bitch doesn’t even want to know what you naughty boys are doing with those up in your cribs.

A bitch and her sister attended a Neighborhood Association meeting.

Drama! If you want to feel better about your situation just take your ass to one of these meetings. Shaw is an up & coming neighborhood in the Lou and some of these folks lived through serious shit while the up was coming. The good thing is that no one made us feel like assholes for taking this issue on. Rather, like y'all said, they reinforced that this was an incident in the making.

We left the meeting with Activist Lady, who wanted to drive by the house and see if she knew any of the heathens. She knew two of them and chatted for a bit, but they felt confident in their right to be behind our house raising hell. My sister directed me to make the first phone call to the police, as directed by the Shaw neighborhood ladies.

I picked up the phone and War commenced.

The first skirmishes of War are often slow in their build up. A nice Officer rolled up on our house and we gave him the details. He clearly had heard this shit before, asked us what we wanted to happen and drove around back.

The first Battle of the Bitch versus the Heathens was on!

The waiting was excruciating. My stomach was in knots! After an hour the Officer called us back.

“I dispersed the Heathens. Your neighbor pulled up and I informed him of the problem. I didn’t tell him who called in the complaint, but did tell him that he would only get so many before his home would be classified as a “Nuisance House”. He denied knowing that there was a problem. He stated that the Heathens were always well behaved. I told him that his neighbors felt otherwise and that he should take action. I then had the Heathens give me their phone numbers and called their parents to come pick their asses up from behind this house. They did and the kids are gone. Just give me a call if this continues to be a problem.”

Unbelievable! This fucker actually tried to spin these bad assed heathens as a bunch of alter boys just trying to have fun! Not aware that it was a problem? What the fuck?

The entire incident was a case study in assholes and the lies they tell themselves!

I wrapped this shit up just in time to catch the Patty Hearst documentary on PBS (thank you, Oh fantabulous Thurman)!

A bitch may have to call the police again over this shit, but I know that the assholes next door are finally experiencing a dose of the drama I’ve been going through since they moved in. Fucker was outside pacing at 7:30am! Oh, how I love the sound of agitation in the morning...

Heathens = 0

Bitch = 1

Cigs = 20

Vodka Crans = 4


Jeffrey Ricker said...

Shaw Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Bitch.

Rock on!

Maven said...

It's shit like this that make me breathe a little sigh of relief at my struggles to conceive. Lordy--what a nightmare, to think someone actually carried that trash in their bellies for 9-nearly-10 months! Heartbreaking!

Morrigan said...

Good luck with your heathen problem. I experienced my own little heathen problem over the weekend.

May you come out on top during all skirmishes.

Crystal-Lynn said...

I totally agree with TigerLilly calling this out as the paternalism it is. The crazy neighbor EXPECTS this behavior -- otherwise, he'd be angry. He thinks he's doing them a big favor like they've never seen a basketball hoop before. The reason sistahs are particularly offended by their behavior is that we KNOW they know better -- they're hustling him and disrespecting us. The 14 year old I mentor can act just as rough as the heathens out back. But mighty funny how she can pull it together when it's time to hang out with me. She can do it because she knows better ... and so do they. They know right from wrong. Bill Cosby was right about standards and the fact that our failure to enforce the standards our grandmammas had is revealed at the bus stop at 2:30 every day.

Great post as always ABB. Unknot your gut -- St. Louis' finest will finish raising the grown man next door and finish parenting the heathens. And we can work with Miss B. to get the afterschool basketball program re-opened so they have positive options.

Raquita said...

please tell me you don't live in shaw - GIRLLLLLL you must be hot to hell about all hte car break ins and what not.. I love in shaw to! hello neighbor!!!

The Gumdrop Stage of Grief ...

So many of you have shared condolences and support after the death of my beloved brother Bill from COVID-19. I wish I could thank you indiv...