Wednesday, July 26, 2006

By request, the Bitch Squad Preparedness List…

As I mentioned yesterday, we tested out the Bitch Squad disaster preparedness kit during the recent power outage. A certain Emily asked what is included in our box of needed things.

The problem with putting together a proper preparedness kit for you and yours is…well, money. A bitch is broke, so I am more than familiar with this issue.


However, a bitch has come up with an easy solution…find a lot of friends and hook up a group plan!

There is power in numbers, chil’ren…trust a bitch. Choosing who to include in your Its Us Against the World Box/Bunker Full of Needed Things is actually rather easy. Just make a list of those folks in your circle who are likely to knock on your door when major shit goes down…or who you are likely to hunt down in such an instance.

And now, by request…

ABB’s Preparedness List (a work in progress)
Water…lots of water…factor in the number of people and pets and you will need 1 gallon of water per person/dawg/cat per day.

Mmmhmmm, that’s a lot of H2O!

You should have a water purification kit too…but go ahead and start gathering water because you know your ass isn’t going to want to do that purification shit until you are certain all hell has broken out…which should take a few days at least.
Notebuy extra water each time you go to the store and set it aside in a 'do not touch/reserved for when all hell breaks out' area. It adds up and doesn’t hurt the pocket book so much!

Food…non-perishable food, for the love of all that is holy.

It may look nasty now, but it will look divine when you are hungry. Do not forget your pets and their needs too! Canned food should be stored in the 'do not touch/reserved for when all hell breaks out' area. And try for some variety…some fruits and veggies.


Cookies for C-Money.

You get the picture...
Note pick up a little bit each time you go to market so that you aren’t feeling the pinch all at once.

Portable battery powered radio…and lots of batteries. Check the batteries when you regularly check the batteries in your smoke detector…you don’t wanna be kicking yourself in the ass when you need them the most.

Flashlights…and lots of batteries.

Sanitation and hygiene shit. Keep it real, people. Situations can get real nasty real quick when you are hold up in a house.

First Aid kit and manual.

Can opener & kitchen shit. Unless you want to eat cold beans out of a can with your hands.

At least one baseball bat.


Think about it (wink).

An axe.


No one is gonna carve your ass out of anywhere, so be prepared to handle your bitness!

Meds…extra meds…Aspirin, Claritin, eye drops, anti-nastification ointment…shit like that.

Blankets…and pillows too.

Vodka…cran…beer…whisky…moonshine (wink).

Scrabble, because it never gets boring…and C-Money and my Play Husband adore it. Oh and books too.

A whistle to signal for help. Because you may not be able to get pull a Bacall when you really need to.

A dust mask…’cause.

No less than half a tank of gas in your car…because gas pumps don’t work when the electricity is down.

A bike…because gas pumps don’t work when the electricity is out.


Did a bitch mention a baseball bat?

Anyhoo, September is preparedness month and a good time to sit those you care about down…look them in the eye…and tell them that its us against the world and we need a box/room/bunker full of needed shit.


Anonymous said...

This is damn good advice.

Gina said...

Right on time I'm laughin' but when folks be tryin to raid my preparedness, i'ma need more than that 90 oz Louisville Slugger!

Joe said...

I almost skimmed past Vodka & Cran on your list, but then breathed a big sigh of relief to see that you hadn't lost sight of the essentials. You know that sh*t dehydrates you, but then again, you will have plenty of water stockpiled to take care of that!

Clay said...

lol - i need to come to you on the regular for advice!

SecondComingOfBast said...

A cooler with one of those freezer thingamabobs that keep things in coolers cold without ice. You can get them at some dollar stores for a buck or two. You just keep them in your freezer until they are needed.

Anonymous said...

Hi ABB, others,

Just linked over from the Rude Pundit who said you will be guest blogging for him. Can't wait.

Great idea for an emergency list. I second the part about the hand-crank powered radio. When I did a "new products" column for a magazine in the mid 90s, I got a demo unit of the orginal Freeplay radio, which ran on solar power and could be wound up when it was dark. It worked great, and they've done a lot of work with the concept since then. As maidink said, there are lights, too. For the cost of a big battery supply, you could buy a few of these devices. Go to for some ideas. Lots of other manufacturers in the game now, too.

CabinDweller said...

Your list looks pretty good - water is supply item numero uno. I'd suggest matches/a lighter and some candles so you don't use up your flashlight if you want to read or just hang out. Of course, most folks already have this stuff around, but not always where you can find it.

Also, if you want to eat hot food, but not MREs, a small backpacker's stove or an old-fashioned Coleman stove to do the heating. And fuel. (Of course, not for use in a shut up house, you don't need to gas yourself.) And if you have a coffee habit, being able to boil water is quite close to mandatory.

Dried anything keeps well - be it fruit or veggies.

WET WIPES. I'm living without running water at my place up here, and these are a great way to wash your hands/clean up without using your precious stash of water.

And you can pick up some nice 5 or 8 gallon water containers pretty cheap at most sporting good/camping stores.

The hand-crank powered radios ROCK!

Anonymous said...

ABB forgot to mention that yours truly is the proud owner of a Grundig FR-200 hand-cranked AM/FM/Shortwave radio that also can be juiced with electricity, standard batteries and the rechargeable unit inside. The rechargeable had us in KMOX for almost 5 hours before we had to throw some standard AA's in it. The light was our safe "candle" during the recent unpleasantness.

This thing rocks. Again, it's the Grundig FR-200. If only it came in pink. Ours is brown. I've named it Brownie. And it did a heck of a job.


lightning said...

Another item, frome hard experience, is extra bulbs for the flashlights. Back in Hurricane Isabel, we had plenty of flashlights and plenty of batteries. We were fine until the flashlight bulbs started burning out ...

Shark-Fu said...

Justin darling...
Word on the street is that I may have already read Ann's book. Ms. Coulter is being accused of having sticky fingers.

Besides, a bitch is going through a non-fiction phase right now (wink)...

emily said...

great list. I figure at some point in my next few years in NYC (Harlem, baby!), the shit will definitely go down - blackout, transit strike... bird flu? So all I need is find somebody to help haul it all up to my 6th floor walk-up!

Kaethe said...

Those who anticipate summer emergencies might want to include some DEET and sunscreen. A french press coffee pot is handy in catastrophes, but be sure to pack some ground coffee long-life creamer type product.

We discovered an affection for oil lamps. Safer than candles, and such lovely decorations between uses.

Planning to share resources with others is a great idea. Our friends around the corner have gas fireplaces and a gas stove; we have a generator and all those oil lamps.

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