Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Pondering coverage without substance...

A bitch is grateful beyond gratefulness to have power back.

Lawd, have mercy!

My ass was in the midst of developing a massive conspiracy theory…

A quick caution to my newest knavish troll - I am Mistress here. If you crave one on one correction, a bitch can put you in touch with some trained experts in the field. Who knows, it could be just your cup of tea (wink). At the very least, the process...and the rod...will certainly teach you some home training.

That should keep the little fucker in prayer for at least a week.

As I was saying, the drama of a huge power outage came a wee bit too close to the heels of a certain Scooter B. and his great energy conservation proposal blah, blah and blah…which was to explore that energy source which our confused leader can not pronounce.

It struck me as odd…California and New York both experiencing bizarre black outs for prolonged periods of time. True, our St. Louis based drama has an identifiable source...but that other shit is strange as hell.

Y’all know a bitch adores a conspiracy theory the way my ass used to adore smoking (wink)!

And speaking of smoking…a bitch made it through the anxiety inspiring drama of the before mentioned power outage without falling off that wagon!


32 days without a cigarette...I hope my fucking lungs are happy now.

Moving forward…

Lack of power provided me with a rare opportunity to experience the 24 hour news extravaganza after a significant pause.

A bitch is concerned.

My ass suspects that the producers at CNN are still infatuated with the embeddification of correspondents…to the detriment of actual coverage.

Being able to fly Miles O’Brien to Haifa…score him a family to hang out with and stalk with annoying questions during bombings…secure a camera person willing to live 24/7 with Miles and said annoyed Haifa based bomb shelter confined family…and connect this completely lacking in context coverage to the world via satellite is one thing.

Being able to educate and inform your audience about what is happening…who the players are…the historical context of the conflict…what role, if any, America plays in this shit…why it matters on an international scale…how it will impact Middle East diplomacy in the long term…

…what is at stake in the bloody chess game and who the motherfucking players are…

Yeah, that’s another thing entirely.

A bitch should be able to turn on the television at the top of the fucking news hour and get caught up. Not on the bombing of the moment but on what that bombing means.

Gawd, spare me from technology addicts jonesing to try out their new gadgets during a real bombing.

Cover the story first...add plenty of substance and liberal amounts of context...then layer on the frosting.

And finally, on a preparedness note...
A bitch and C-Money put our Post Katrina Bitch Squad Preparedness Plan in play during this power outage. Battery operated radios are the shit...trust a bitch on that. They are a must have for any Its Me Against the World Disaster Preparedness Box of Needed Things.

Right up there with rations of Smartie based joy...and vodka followed by cran.


Anonymous said...

Preparedness...I live in Earthquake Country (Southern California) and we are drilled in Preparedness. Does that mean we are? Nope. The stats are something like 8 outta 10 folks are NOT prepared in any way for a disaster. From my earthquake experience, I advise 1/ water (rotate at least monthly, because even if it is still "good" it tastes nasty) 2/cash, because if the power is out, you can't get money out of atms, and credit cards don't work-small bills are best 3/toilet paper and some sort of porta-potti type thang. Other plus items are batteries, battery operated radio and flashlights. Food, matches, and maybe something to cook on, like a camp stove. First aid kit. But the big problem is if you are living hand to mouth and day to day already, how can you keep "back up supplies"? Sigh.

emily said...

As an NYC resident, I could use an Its Me Against the World Disaster Preparedness Box of Needed Things. Could you give us a list of Needed Things??
Besides a bottle of vodka and some cran, of course.
And congrats on 32 days of not suffocating your lungs!

Avin said...

Hang in there from one ex smoker to another. Its all downhill from here.

eliza said...

In times like these you realize just how important being prepared can really be. There's nothing like being under a boil water order when you have no electricity to boil water and the stores are either closed or out of water altogether. Lucky for me, I had been storing an Oh-Shit-The-Avian-Flu-Is-A-Coming case of water for about six months.

Glad you're okay.

Anonymous said...

Emily, as a fellow Urbanite, I store 12 gallons of bottled water; safety matches and candles; battery-powered flashlight and radio (with extra batteries); cans of food for my family and animals; shrink-wrapped peanut butter crackers; my camping gear (sleeping bags, cots, propane lantern, etc.); all necessary meds; plus assorted arsenal in a nice dry spot in my basement, which happens to also serve as my wine cellar (whee! bring on Armaggedon!)

If all power is lost several things should still work in the city, including water pressure for at least a while - fill up tub, sinks, pots etc. for bathing, cooling, and "flushing" purposes. If you have a gas grill you can heat water in a pan on your grill as well as cook food. An option to boiling water is purification tabs, part of my camping gear.

Worst case scenario is losing power and therefore heat in the winter - even for those with gas boilers who can light by hand if need be the burn ratio is tricky without a functional thermostat. If it's a true blizzrd and you're stuck where you are with no heat for an extended period of time go either into your basement (below ground the temp is more stable) or find an interior room with few or no windows (walk-in closet?), and insulate that to the best of your ability. Plastic sheeting (even garbage bags duct-taped together) and lots of blankets, even a mattress against the coldest outside wall... do NOT burn anything to stay warm as the CO will kill you.

I've never planned for disasters, have I? ;-)

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