Tuesday, March 03, 2009

What, no clowns?

A bitch is working on my second cup of coffee (bless the gods) and watching the Today Show…a special edition of the Today Show…Matt Lauer live at the New York Stock Exchange much like he’d be ‘on scene’ for a natural disaster.


They open up with a live shot of the horrific scene (in this case, the freakishly quiet almost vacant floor of the NYSE).

Lauer explains why he is there (“oh, the humanity!!) and lists off the carnage (the market has sunk to a 12 year low).

Then he brings in the sorta-experts…Jim ‘I’m a heart attack waiting to happen’ Mad Money Kramer and Erin “if this crazy motherfucker yells one more time I’m going to drop him right here on national television’ Burnett…and lets them discuss/debate/argue/yell/agree to disagree and ultimately say nothing of substance about the economy and what we can expect out of the markets today.

Moving fast, because Gawd forbid they take time to actually discuss a damn thing, Lauer tosses a lateral to Chuck Todd…who explores the Obama administration’s economic plan by discussing the latest cabinet nominee with a tax problem in less than 60 seconds.

Somehow the action swerves further off course to feature a smidge of the Rush v. Steele ‘does it matter who is driving the bus when the fucker is out of gas?’ flare up.

But before a bitch can even process how strange that shit is there’s Meredith V. chatting with Tavis Smiley about political accountability and his new book.


Lawd, there really should be a law against Fellini-esque morning television.



Nicole said...

Thank you for brilliantly capturing the "sky is falling!!!" madness that I'm convinced is a good deal of the cause of all this mess.

And that most people don't realize after watching that they've actually seen/learned NOTHING - that is the real sadness. They just turn off the TV and head to work with this general sense of OMFG.

So not productive.


Pyzahn said...

My brain shuts down when the ranting starts. I opened one eye, lowered the TV volume and went back to sleep. Fortunately, no nightmare backlash.

The Bear Maiden said...

I heard that shit too. I too marveled/giggled at the irony of Lauer at the scene of a disaster.

I missed the politician with a tax problem. I think I went back to bed to avoid my own immediate and impending disasters.

For me though.. I've been in the spot other folk are now in for about a year. I've been saying shit was tough, weren't no jobs. It's the little people who get fucked first. Does it mean we'll be the first to get out of the hole?

I hate Tavis Smily.

lahru said...

I only watch the Entertainment Tonight morning edition when they have midget wrestling or when they talk about the Garlic Festival in Cali. Although I am guilty of taking a peek now and then to see how Al's doing with the weight thing, but just a peek.

boadwee blog said...

I don't know if I ever told you this but 2 or 3 years ago I parked my truck with the ANGRY BLACK BITCH BUMPER STICKER on it across the street from my house, in front of the house of a black lady who lives on my block (not as social commentary but merely because that's where the open space was). She DID NOT LIKE THAT BUMPER STICKER one bit and covered it up with MASKING TAPE. I pulled off the tape after I moved my vehicle and continued to proudly display the sticker for another few years until my truck finally gave up the ghost (Though I know that someone who works at a landfill somewhere is still enjoying it!).

Hope you are well. Glad you're still fighting the good fight!


beks said...

exactly how i felt. thanx.

i hate tavis smiley as well.

Anonymous said...

These morning shows used to be part of the network news divisions.That has morphed over time into infotainmment divisions.Why, pray tell, should we be informed about American Idol on any of these programs? But we are.
When media consolidated in the 80's and 90's some brilliant exec discovered the synergy of cross promotion. Therefore NBC has to highlight CNBC,MSNBC,et al.along with the book division and GE related public relations.
Disney has ABC and Newscorp. has Fox.
I rue the day we relaxed our rules to assist Rupert Murdoch in his ambitions.

Anonymous said...

"Lawd, there really should be a law against Fellini-esque morning television."

thank gawd someone has finally said it!

worst for me, this a.m., was robin meade perhaps unintentionally indicating that of the 4 likely drowned men only the 2 who were professional athletes mattered and one, now found, was disappointing since he wasn't a 'famous' one.

Anonymous said...

Bailout 2008, a poem by David Jeffrey

Like a bloodied warrior,
laying broken and torn.

Like a dying soldier, hopeless and forlorn.

But the blood, it be green,
the color of money.

And the soldier is an economy,
and it is anything but funny.

Broken are it’s people and shattered are their dreams.

Thanks to the ultra rich and their full proof schemes.

It is a tragedy with more pain to come.

Finance will be Hell, and their wills will be done.

Jeffrey Ricker said...

If they're getting their Fellini on and there's no Anita Ekberg to be had, then it just isn't worth the time.

Anonymous said...

I saw that segment, too. All it was missing was a Jack Russell terrier in a tutu walking on a circus ball.

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