Thursday, January 11, 2007

Re-cap in song...

Shall we?

A bitch’s re-cap of Scooter B.’s Address to the Masses - The Knave and his music…

8 o’clock in the evening…a hush descended over the Bitch Squad living area. All eyes turned to the television set to see Scooter B. at a podium. After an awkward as hell cue (someone didn’t anticipate the intensity of the countdown to live television) Scooter B. took the stage.

And I am telling you
I'm not going!
You're the only war I've ever known.
There's no way I can ever go,
No, no, no, no way,
No, no, no, no way
I'm facing my legacy having lost you.
I'm not governing without you.
Don't you want to be free?
I'm stayin',
I'm stayin',
And you, and you, you're gonna stabilize your asses for me!
Ooh, you're stabilizing for me!
And I am telling you
We’re not going,
Even though the rough times are showing.
There's just no way, There's no way.
We're part of the same war on terror
We're part of the same flawed policy implementation
We both share the same ramifications
We both have the same low approval ratings
And time and time we have so much to loose
No, no, no,
No, no, no,
I'm not wakin' up tomorrow mornin'
And findin' that there's no viable democracy standing as a shining example in the region.
Iraq, there's no way,
No, no, no, no way I'm going to loose you.
I'm not going to loose you
You see, there's just no way,
There's no way.
Tear down the infrastructure
Yell, scream and shout.
You can say what you want,
We’re not walkin' out.
Stop all the oil revenues
Push, strike, and kill.
I'm not gonna leave you,
There's no way I will.
And I am telling you
I'm not going.
You're the only war I’ve ever known
There's no way I can ever, ever go,
No, no, no, no way,
No, no, no, no way I'm going to loose you
Oh, I'm not going to loose you.
We’re not going to loose you.
Here’s an increase in troops
I'm stayin',
I'm stayin',
And you, and you,
You're gonna embrace freedom!
Oh, hey, you're gonna embrace democracy!
Yes, ah, ooh, ooh, chill the fuck out
Ooh, ooh, ooh, stabilize motherfukers!!
Lawd, my legacy!
Oh Gawd, my legacy!
For the sake of my legacy!
Y’all are going to pull your shit together for meeeeeeeeeeeee!

And the church said fubar…


Maya's Granny said...

Wow! You got it, word for word.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful summary. Please call the stephanie miller show and sing it on air. They would be so impressed!!!

KLynn said...

I don't say (or do) this too often these days but...ROTFLMBAO! This was great!

RoRicka said...


if only he would have done it in a sequined shift dress with a beehive weave...


Me. Here. Right now. said...

Shall we call you Jennifer Bitchaday? Excellent!

nancy =) said...

yes, indeed, once again you've nailed it...superb...

Pat Nelson said...


A tour de force!

As the previous poster said ROTFLMBAO!

Patricia Nelson
Womanist Power Authority
KFAI Radio, Minneapolis/St.Paul

ChristopherM said...

Oh lawd! I'm guessing he didn't get spontaneous applause for this the way J-Hud did in the theaters.

Anonymous said...

Bitch, I didn't know Bebe Moore Campbell had died until somebody sent me your Dreamgirls link. Thanks, Bitch. This is my new favorite read.

Maven said...

I just love Penn Jillette's podcast (which also involves references to Ninja spider monkeys) related to Scooter's address.

Spider Monkey Post

jaedalaurez said...

That was clearly fabulous. I salute you.

elle said...

you are brilliant

Anonymous said...

Girl I havent laughed so hard since dick in a box. That was priceless!

"oooh stabilize mother fuckers!.."

*tears in eyes*


Anonymous said...

From one self-proclaimed black bitch to another- bravo! Your political commentary is not only hilarious, but apt as hell. Too bad nobody's giving out Golden Globes for "Most Incompetent Leader of the Free World." Dubya doing Effie would be a shoo-in.

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