This bitch couldn't avoid the coverage of the execution of a Saddam Hussein...and it got me thinking about the entire Saddam saga.
Saddam was found in a hole-esque bunker.
Fuck that shit.
That was a motherfucking hole! Bunker my black ass. Saddam was pulled out of that nastified hole looking tore up…hair all crazy tore up. A bitch watched the telly as images of Saddam being inspected for...ugh...flashed across the screen.
Now, this bitch was surprised that they didn’t just blow Saddam’s ass away outside of the hole.
Well, I was! But I quickly came to the conclusion that the United States must want a trial. Yeah, they must want some confirmation that Saddam was indeed the Dark Side and the new Iraqi government is indeed full of goodness thatshines like a warm light and shall serve as an example to the region, which will facilitate the eventual democratization of the blah, blah and blah.
Oh, fuck it.
My ass came to the conclusion that they wanted a trial to demonstrate that Saddam was a tyrannical asshole. Which was known to our government…cause we used to be tight like that...way back in the day when Saddam was our tyrannical asshole.
So, bring on the made for television call to justice!
The Jerry Springer-esque Trial…
Post invasion war crime trials of known used to be our homeboy tyrants should go smoothly. There’s an abundance of evidence…everyone wants to find the tyrant guilty…no need to fret about an impartial jury…hell, you’ve even got a fresh off the motherfucking presses judicial system that was written knowing that said tyrant might one day be brought before it.
But the trial of Saddam started to play out like the mutant love child of Maury P. and Jerry Springer! Assassinations…attempted assassinations…public rantings and fist wavings…damned if they didn’t even have a pseudo-protest infused 24 hour I changed my mind right before breakfast fasting.
Shit, we can't even get a well produced show trial out of these assholes!
Anyhoo, surely the current puppet government is going to pull it together post conviction and get some mileage out of the execution of the tyrannical leader of the former puppet government.
Not so fast...think again!
To the gallows…
A bitch was amazed by the coverage of the conviction…and the apparent confusion coming forth media wise on the next steps.
And once the press got a hold of the law…and found out that Saddam was legally mandated to go to the gallows within 30 days of his conviction being upheld on appeal…well, you would have thought a hanging was on CNN’s Christmas list!
The ever updated and yet still somehow breaking news headlines were full of bloodlust.
This bitch was waiting for Soledad O’Brien to host Explaining Hangings – A Parent’s Guide to Discussing Executions.
But for sure they’re going to pull it together, lead by example and administer justice with the kind of clarity of purpose Saddam never afforded his fellow Iraqis!
Ummm…they, if you believe the West Wing, have learned something and will take this moment to join together as one nation and bring an end to the…
Oh, for the love of GAWD!
Who the fuck brings a camera phone to hanging?
How the fuck did people fail to notice?
And was a bitch the only person pondering South Park movie plot angles as the CNN Noose Ticker time clock wound down?
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