The Jesus Had a Pet Dinosaur and Obama Bailed Out Unicorn Farms Project…

Happy Friday, y’all!

Shall we?

Like many, I’ve struggled to keep my spirits up when there have been waves upon waves upon waves of oppressive attacks from those bent on keeping their boots on our necks and their laws in our lady bits.

The ongoing fight over birth control has been particularly draining.  I think that’s because I know this battle has been fought and won…but here we are again, defending access to something that the majority of people use and that has been accepted as health care for decades.

I’ve got to be honest – hearing Americans say that birth control isn’t health care makes me fear for the intellectual capacity of the masses almost as much as hearing Americans claim that Jesus had a pet dinosaur.

Sigh.

I woke up this morning pondering this shit…only to arrive at the conclusion that these battles are so draining because it takes a lot of energy to process illogical shit when you start out assuming there’s some logic behind it.

Think about it – how often have you heard some conservative statement and tried to figure out how the asshole saying it even got there only to find your Afro hurting by the time you come to the conclusion that he or she must have pulled that bizarreness out of their ass?

Mmmmhmmm…exactly!

Well, I’m over it.

I mean it.

The next time one of these wacky fools tells me that birth control isn’t health care…or that emergency contraception is the same as the abortion pill…that environmental activism is anti-American…that they’ve found the cure for Autism…corporations are people…or that they oppose measures to protect LGBT students from bullying out of love…

Cough.

I’m going to respond with something they’ll understand…

“Yep, just like Jesus had a pet dinosaur and Obama sent billions of your money to bailout those silly unicorn farms!”

…and then smile hard while showing a lot of teeth.

Wow, I feel fantabulous just writing it.

I’ll keep y’all posted.

Toodles!

Chickens…

Let’s jump right on in!

A certain Rick Santorum scored wins in both the Alabama and Mississippi primaries yesterday. 

Newt Gingrich came in 2^nd in both of those primaries.

And Mitt Romney won the primaries in Hawaii and American Samoa.

In other words, this shit is far from over.

Santorum’s wins send a clear message that evangelicals are not lovin on Mitt Romney. 

But Gingrich’s strong 2^nd place showing also sends a message – evangelicals want to date other people some more before they commit to Santorum.

Santorum knows this…that’s why he and his minions are demanding Gingrich step aside.

Gingrich knows this too…that’s why he and his minions are telling Santorum’s people to shove it and desperately trying to raise some money to keep going.

Although Mitt lost the gritmus test, his campaign can take comfort in the fact that he kind of nullified those delegate losses with those wins in Hawaii and American Samoa.

As a matter of fact the delegate math still favors Romney.

Pause…sip coffee and ponder…continue.

I wonder if this delegate math problem is another reason why Santorum is against college education.

What?

Seriously, not only does college encourage young people to think for themselves and question shit (gasp)…it also continues teaching them that math is real thing when right now Santorum needs likely GOP primary voters to believe that math is a tool that the liberal elite uses to get their snob on.

Anyhoo, even primary voters in Mississippi and Alabama conceded that Mitt Romney is the more electable candidate in a general election.  They just want him to be more conservative and that means that Mitt Romney has to start saying some outrageous shit that will make him look more attractive to those wretched social conservatives.

This’ll be a delicate balancing act and…well, Mitt isn’t known for his smooth talking.

Here’s a fresh sample of Mitt trying to turn those voters on.

“Planned Parenthood, we're going to get rid of that.”

And I just saw his primary ad here in Missouri where he’s attacking Santorum for his Senate votes in favor of funding of Planned Parenthood.

Voting to fund reproductive health care really shouldn't be baggage...but for those attempting to seduce the GOP base it is. And that "baggage" wouldn’t be burdensome if that base wasn’t conditioned to expect regular feedings of attacks on women’s reproductive rights in exchange for their vote.

Going after Planned Parenthood may help Romney wrap up the GOP nomination…and that’s still a solid “may”.

But in the general election…where the electorate includes the 98 percent of women who have used birth control in their lifetime and also includes the 1 in 5 women who has chosen Planned Parenthood as a health care provider at least once in her lifetime…well, those comments will be hard to spin as moderate or mainstream or (wait for it) presidential.

All of this has me thinking about chickens and how they come home to roost.

Blink. 

And now they’re arguing about grits…

Merciful heaven.

Shall we?

Good Morning America just ran a quick segment covering today’s primaries in the south…and it was amusing as hell!

The reporter was making the point that the GOP candidates are…well, getting gritty.

First there was video of Romney at a campaign stop indulging in one of his bizarre list-offs of shit he likes that he hopes voters in the crowd will like so they’ll vote for him.

So awkward.

Anyhoo, there’s Romney saying he’s learning to say y’all…. "hi, y’all!”…and he likes grits… “cheesy grits and biscuits, y’all!”

Wince.

I can’t decide if these incidents are signs that Romney is so starched that this is what he acts like when they try to loosen him up…or that his staff despises him and has already reached the “fine, motherfucker…go ‘head and do what you’re going to do…ass.” stage of the campaign.

Newt has also been using grits to appeal to southern voters.

“I figure if you don't understand grits there's a pretty high likelihood that you don't understand the rest of the south.”

My grit-based analysis - This was a daring move since Gingrich is from Georgia and you know and I know that you know that I know that Georgia does grits one way and [insert southern state here] does them a different way.

This grit litmus test…a gritmus test?..is just another example of Newt’s reckless campaign style. He could have just let Mitt verbally out himself as completely clueless about all things southern…but no, Newt had to be all pompous about it. 

He’s lucky that no one in the herd of reporters forced to follow him really thinks he has a chance in hell, or he’d be facing a tons of questions about how he likes his grits and whether he thinks cheesy is wrong or adding sugar is disgusting (gasp).

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

I have no idea what the results will be today and I’m willing to bet they won’t force anyone still in this race to limp to the sidelines (that’d be too much like right).

But I do know that this has been a kick ass moment in history - 2012 is now the year grits became a serious conservative campaign issue in America.

Blink.

Pondering those social issues in Game Change…

Gawd, I loathe the Monday after daylight savings time spring forwardness.

Wince.

Shall we?

Last night I watched Game Change and…okay, Julianne Moore does an amazing Palin and it was beyond interesting to speculate about how much of the dish was real versus amplified for public consumption…but, well…I couldn’t stop thinking about the role social issues played in the film.

I’m not going to toss out a spoiler alert because we all survived this shit in 2008.

Game Change was about the behind the scenes lead up to Palin’s selection as the GOP’s candidate for VP next to McCain…and about how the campaign was more interested in shaking shit up than finding a fully vetting person qualified to be a heart beat away from the presidency.

I watched and squirmed at scenes depicting a campaign staffer watching YouTube clips of women…cause they decided finding a woman would help McCain reestablish his maverick brand.

And then they chose Palin…rushed the vetting process…and blah, blah, blah, followed by more shit we already know.

The thing that seemed revealing in the film was that several women were passed over because they were pro-choice but Palin got the nod because she was ardently opposed to unrestricted access to reproductive health care.

The director showed this in two distinctive scenes – one where the campaign staffer was eliminating prospects because they were pro-choice and another where Palin answers questions about where she stands on key issues in contrast McCain.

As the film goes forward the residue to those two scenes remains…through Palin’s initial success in accepting the nomination to her media fuck ups and finally to her determination that she could build a powerful brand off of the folksy script her handlers gave her as a lifeline when it became apparent that multiple crash courses in all the shit she didn’t know (and we’re talking a lot of shit) were overwhelming her.

Yep, those two scenes lingered…and I found it odd that the director chose to separate Palin’s views on social issues like abortion from her complete lack of understanding over what the Fed does or why Bush took the nation to war with Afghanistan.

Throughout the film we’re taken on an almost painful ride through all the shit Sarah Palin doesn’t understand, hasn’t thought through fully, gets frustrated when thinking deeply about, or just shuts down completely when forced to contemplate…

…yet her absolute “unapologetic” opposition to the full spectrum of reproductive health care including abortion is set aside as something she’s “got”.

Right.

Making a movie that indicts McCain’s campaign for not knowing how FUBAR Palin was on [insert anything here] while giving them a pass for giving her a pass despite how wrong she was on reproductive choice is the political movie making equivalent of choosing a VP nominee by reviewing YouTube videos of high profile conservative women talking politics.

Watching a movie that depicts just how casually campaigns treat reproductive choice...how blatant they are about the use of choice as a voter mobilization tool...well, I found it all as disturbing as Sarah Palin's alleged obsession with her poll numbers in Wasilla or her choice of hockey jerseys as lounge wear.

Blink.

For the women I didn’t meet along the way…

Today we celebrate International Women’s Day.

I’ve got to confess that I went to bed last night so disgusted with all things that I wasn’t planning to write a post this morning.

But I woke up feeling good…and that got me thinking about the medical journey I took to get to feeling good…which made me wonder about some of the women I met along the way…and then I couldn’t stop thinking about the women I didn’t meet.

I spent over a decade under treatment for endometriosis and uterine fibroids…over ten years battling pain, exhaustion, anemia, and health insurance companies.

And I’m among the lucky few.

In 2001, I was able to opt for surgery to remove tumors because I was confident in my ability to maintain long-term treatment due to insurance coverage…even though four separate health insurance companies suffered from the same confusion over why a woman would ever want to treat endometriosis or fibroids for reasons other than fertility.

But I’m lucky to be able to bitch about that.

I met a lot of women in waiting rooms…women like me who wanted options beyond when to schedule their hysterectomy and other women who wanted to get pregnant despite the odds.

We were the lucky one’s…wrestling with doctors, insurance companies, pharmacies, and friends or family members oozing well meaning poorly timed advice.

When I had a hysterectomy a little over a year ago I had it on my terms, having run my course of treatment to that end. I had surgery after consulting with my doctor and (prepare to be shocked, y’all) without a single legislator in the room.

And I woke up today feeling good and knowing how damn lucky I am to feel this way.

This International Women’s Day I’m thinking about the women I didn’t meet in those many waiting rooms or at the pharmacy…women who didn’t have choices or treatment options because we’re still debating whether birth control is the tool of the devil when we should be celebrating increased access without co-pays and then pushing to expand access even more.

I’m lucky.

I know I am and I know that there isn’t a damn thing right about that.

Because there are empty seats in too many waiting rooms.

Feeling good shouldn’t be about luck.

Because there are women trying to work through the pain.

Being healthy isn’t a privilege.

Because birth control is health care.

And this struggle continues for the women I didn’t meet along the way.

Happy International Women’s Day.

And the beat goes on…

Confession – I watched my Blues beat the Blackhawks last night…instead of watching the Super Tuesday primary returns.

What?

Hockey vs. Super Tuesday primary returns is no contest, y’all.

Anyhoo, shall we?

I was able to stay on top of yesterday's not so super Super Tuesday results through the magic of Twitter.

Here’s what we’ve got…

Mitt Romney – Ohio*, Alaska, Idaho, Vermont, Virginia, and Massachusetts

Rick Santorum – North Dakota, Oklahoma, Tennessee

Newt Gingrich – Georgia

* I’m hearing a lot of conflicting information about Ohio, ongoing frenzified counting, and a possible automatic recount.

The take away for Romney…

Romney is in the delegate lead.

He'll probably be the nominee.

But this shit is heading south to states where Romney isn’t likely to get any love from the GOP.

The take away for Santorum…

Romney didn’t close the deal.

And this shit is heading south to states where Santorum may be able to steal away enough delegates to hold Romney's nomination of and set up a convention fight.

The take away for Gingrich…

There’s no place like home...and Santorum would like him to unpack and stay there.

The take away for the masses…

The GOP is having an identity crisis…big time. 

Romney may be winning the delegate math…

…but he’s running for the nomination of a party that thinks math is a tool of the devil.

Blink.

***logs off to give offering to the gods of blog content in gratitude***

Limbaugh, the bust, and how this honor informs pending anti-birth control legislation in Missouri…

Let’s jump right on in, y’all!

Yesterday the fantabulous Sean Nicholson of Progress Missouri broke the story that leaders in the Missouri House were set to honor Rush Limbaugh by adding him via an expensive bust to the Hall of Famous Missourians.

As the story sped across the internets I had several reactions.

Shark-Fu’s 1^st reaction to Limbaugh getting a bust-based honor…

Isn’t there some process this kind of think should go through?  Oh, don’t get me wrong – I’m not naïve enough to think that the current majority in the Missouri House wouldn’t vote Rush Ruler of the Known Universe if given the opportunity. 

I’m just uncomfortable with this kind of honoring being a power held by one man - Speaker Tilley's, to be specific...who has defended his decision to honor Rush but who also has recently demonstrated that he has a higher tolerance and empathy for bigot-based behavior than most folk (remember his call to flood Cairo?).

Now I know that you know that I know that Speaker Tilley has claimed that he decided to honor Rush months ago…

…just like I know that you know that I know that Limbaugh has been launching racist and/or anti-woman attacks for years, so he wasn’t any more worthy a few months ago than he is today.

Cough.

Shark-Fu’s 2^nd reaction to Limbaugh getting a bust-based honor…

I call bullshit on all the posturing, whining, and keening the GOP is participating in under the dome regarding moral objections to health care and religious-based blah, blah, blah.

These oh so religious and moral conservatives are planning to honor a man who gleefully, loudly, and clearly demanded sex tapes from a woman in exchange for access to birth control.

Mayhap these representatives should exchange their concern over women having access to contraception for some disgust over the ease of Limbaugh’s attempt at coercion.

***shudders***

Shark-Fu’s reaction when pondering this Limbaugh bust mess this morning…

I’m disgusted.

I can’t believe my hard earned tax dollars are about to be spent honoring a man who makes Magic Negro jokes, enjoys taunting women, and who uses his radio show to solicit sex tapes in exchange for access to birth control.

I can’t believe that the current Speaker of the Missouri House doesn’t understand why honoring Limbaugh brings dishonor upon every other person honored in the Hall and to our state.

And I really can’t believe we’re still fighting to defeat birth control refusal legislation here in Missouri...legislation that Limbaugh's rants demonstrate is less about "religious liberty" than about appeasing those who see women discussing birth control as sluts, women demanding access to birth control as prostitutes, and women who seek to do so before Congress as fair game for the solicitation of sex tapes.

Good Gawd, I can just see the Missouri tourism billboard now…

Visit Missouri, y'all – Where Sexist, Egotistical, Lying Hypocritical Bigots Are Honored and Birth Control is Slut Candy!

Blink.

Swift recaps of Santorum’s anti-education “back down” and Limbaugh’s post advertiser bail out “apology”…

Shall we?

I woke this morning to news that a certain Rick Santorum is backing down from condemning President Obama for his administration’s support of programs to increase access to and enrollment in advanced education.

To best understand shit like this I like to think of politics as ice skating and pandering as a skill like jumping or spinning.

Santorum is participating in a classic political skating skill – a perfectly executed triple toe jump nod to the conservative religious home-school crowd followed by an awkward transition into a slow lackluster “oh, shit…that public pander appears to have turned off too many conservatives…allow me to explain that I misunderstood Obama and was responding to something else!” spin.

Mayhap Scott Hamilton could start calling politics in the morning?

Blink.

Santorum’s clarification-based correction would be far more believable if he hadn’t doubled down on his belief that college is the devil’s playground during a recent appearance on Glenn Beck...just sayin’.

Moving on…

Rush Limbaugh grabbed headlines last week for his relentless multi-day tirade against Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke, where he called her a slut and then made a detailed demand that she make then sex tapes online in exchange for health insurance coverage without co-pay of birth control…

…and then activists targeted advertisers on his show and those advertisers came to the conclusion that although advertising to an audience that makes the John Birch society look soft appeals to them having Limbaugh draw attention to the fact that they advertise to an audience that makes the John Birch society look soft does not appeal, thus they pulled their ads…and, when the money was pulled, Limbaugh apologized.

I, for one, was thrilled to see the voice of the conservative movement indulge in a public display of how they really feel followed by what they actually oppose.

And I'm more than a little pissed at not getting to see the herd of presidential wanna-bes attempt to pivot from Limbaugh's demand for sex tapes back to rants about religious objections.

Pause…consider…continue.

Now that they've backed off and/or apologized and the political pundit class appears satisfied (rolls eyes), I'm left to hope that Scott Hamilton will join some network's best political team on air.

What?

As if you aren't hoping the same damn thing...wink.

A pondering of a recent political ad…

Happy Friday, y’all!

I just saw a political ad for a certain Dave Spence who is running for Governor here in Missouri.

Spence is trying to get his name out there so folks know who the hell he is if he wins the GOP nomination to challenge Gov. Nixon.

I get that.

I understand…I really do!

But…well, Spence’s ad made my Afro hurt.

The Spence ad focused on how he would make it rain jobs in Missouri.

But news just broke that unemployment in Missouri has hit a 3-year low. As a matter of fact, Gov. Nixon has been all over the media talking about that shit.

Do I think 7.2% unemployment is ideal?

No.

But daaaamn, Spence – only a fool runs ads about how voters need to choose the person who can deal with unemployment in the midst of a news shower about how the current Governor presides over a 3 year-low for that shit.

Plus, I couldn't help wondering why we need to elect his ass if he's a magical job creator - shouldn't we leave him to it?

The ad wrapped up with a random as hell and totally out of nowhere statement about how we don’t need to increase taxes.

What the fuck?

Does Dave Spence live in Missouri?

Ain’t no body raising taxes here, son!

Hell, just look at the budget cuts under the dome – they’re cutting bone in Jefferson City. Clearly the Spence campaign thinks dusting off Republican talking points from the early '80s is the path to victory.

***rolls eyes***

Catch that knee, y’all!  

I’m not a fan of conservative politicians or looking for a reason to support this Spence character. 

I just hate to see fucked up from the floor up ads this early in the season. At this rate, Spence will be running Demon Sheep ads in May.

My Afro can only take so much!

Wince.

A fluff of the Afro to Missouri’s “Silenced Seven” – way to represent!

Hi y'all!

I’m circling back to a reproductive justice story from last week because it really made me proud of the pro-choice champions we have in the Missouri Assembly.

Last week the Missouri House wasted the people’s precious legislative time debating a resolution opposing the Obama administration’s contraception coverage mandate.  The resolution was yet another overt pander to the powerful Catholic lobbyists who seem to have more pull under the dome than the majority of Missourians who support birth control coverage without a co-payment.  During the debate several women Representatives stood up to speak up and…well, represent their districts in support of birth control coverage and in opposition to the panderfied resolution.

And guess what?

The Rep. presiding over the debate, a certain Rep. John Diehl of the ‘I fear the voice of reason!!’ Diehls, refused to recognize the women to speak.

Sound familiar?

Yep, it seems that those who have an outrageous tolerance for using the weapon of government to pander to the Bishops are allergic to hearing valid as hell and thus painfully accurate opposition to their bullshit.

All Missourians, regardless of political beliefs, should be horrified that women elected to represent their districts in the House were not allowed to speak on behalf of their constituents.

I’m disgusted and it takes a lot to disgust me after years of watching similar disgusting behavior under that dome.

But our champions under the dome did not sit back and just take that public display of disrespect.

Seven of the women, calling themselves the “Silenced Seven”, and several of their pro-choice colleagues held a press conference outside of the Capitol – you can listen to it here.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

There are moments during our legislative sessions when it seems like trying to plea the people’s case just isn’t worth it…it almost feels like the Catholic influence a body has to wade through in the halls is waste high and thick as shit…but then there are moments like the Silenced Seven press conference, where those elected to represent Missourians actually struggle to do so, that make the work of citizen lobbyists seem worth it.

So, here’s a belated fluff of the Afro to the 45 Reps including the Silenced Seven who voted in the people’s interest against HCR 41.

Way to represent!

I posted to Feministing today...

After a long absence, I posted to Feministing.com again - enjoy!

Pre game changer pivotal as hell and this time they mean it primary pondering…

Thank you to everyone who offered happy birthday wishes last week – y’all are the best!

I just got back in town from a fantabulous trip to New York, NY…were C-Money and I got to try our hand at following maps (shhhhh…she’s better at it but if you tell her I’ll deny, deny, and deny)…and we took in the theater (The Agony and The Ecstasy of Steve Jobs…loved it…4 ½ Afro fluffs out of 5)…and then we drank and drank and drank some more with my pal from college (yay, Toni!!).

Anyhoo, I’m sure there are lots of people who are doing Oscar posts…but I’m going to listen to the advice of a former hairdresser who said that if you only have rotten things to say about something save it for a happy hour.

Onward!

Tomorrow is another primary day…and it is important...pivotal…a possible game changer, damnit!

And the choir asked… “Um, why does this primary matter so damn much?”

And a bitch replied… “So glad you asked!!”

The pundits say... Michigan matters because Romney was born there and he has to win, he just has to.

Romney says… Michigan matters because I offered the highest bid for it and I have to win, I just have to.

Santorum says… Michigan matters because I got a vision from above that the de-education anti-college anti-knowledge movement must begin there AND I got a text from the Bishops ordering me to kick-off the No Uterus Left Behind plan in the Upper Peninsula.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Newt Gingrich says (cheerfully)…Fuck all y’all! I ain’t leaving until someone begs me not to leave!

Blink.

A birthday post…

Shark-Fu & C-Money & Spider-Man a fabillion years ago

Today is my birthday…hooray!

I’m 39 years old, so I now I have a year to prepare my Soul Food Extravaganza 40^th Birthday Realness Ball.

Lawd, the pressure!

Anyhoo…

This birthday is going to rock!

I’m going to a protest at Senator Blunt’s office in Clayton…because he needs to know that his amendment allowing any employer to refuse to cover any health related thing through insurance simply by stating a moral objection was wrong when he filed it, is wrong today, and will never be right.

If you live in or near St. Louis you should join me!

And then, I get to watch the Blues take on the Bruins…from my couch-based area while eating apple pie, but still.

And then…

***cue Sinatra’s New York, New York***

… C-Money and a bitch are headed to New York, NY!

***hit play***

We’re going to see The Agony and The Ecstasy of Steve Jobs…and eat yummy food…and drink a cocktail or two or three…and eat some more.

Fantabulous.

Toodles!

Shark-Fu’s 2012 Election “gaffe”, my black ass post…

Shall we?

Lawd, it feels like we just went through this presidential election business!

Oh well, here we are again…and now is as good a time as any for a post on gaffes.

Reporters love to say shit politicians or political surrogates say are just gaffes.

But in the world of politics what is often excused as a gaffe is more likely a well-placed bit of code language proven to turn on the most wretched among us.

Best part?

The same reporters who excuse those well-placed bits of code language as gaffes have been and will continue to be used…kind of like the journalism version of a drug mule who continues to buy the bullshit that the racist/sexist/homophobic/bigoted/oppressive words alleged to have “just slipped out” weren’t spewed forth intentionally.

Bless their hearts!

My people call that bullshit.

In 2008, the list of rancidity sent out through Clinton surrogates and then quickly excused as a mere verbal malfunction-based gaffe was so extensive that Jack and Jill Politics created a wiki.

And all of the sudden shit looked intentional as a motherfucker.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Suffice it to say I was not surprised when I stumbled across this Politico post absolving a Santorum minion for slipping a dose of 'anti-Muslim/racist/not-America/well,that is a weird sounding name' nastification into the political atmosphere.

The introduction of gaffes into the mix is as predictable as elections being held in November.

Blink.

On caring...

Longtime readers know that my older brother is autistic. I’ve written about my experiences as a co-guardian…my encounters with the system…and my general stress over balancing my guardianship role with my wish to just be his sister.  I’ve also written about those sister-brother moments that make all the drama I experience as a guardian worth it.

Well, I made dinner for my brother’s house Saturday. He has two roomies and they all have staff on site 24 hours a day. I brought over peppercorn pork loin, cheesy potatoes, and a salad…all of which was demolished, much to my pleasure.

I returned home to news about a certain Rick Santorum and his remarks about how Obama “looks down on the disabled” by supporting prenatal testing…because on Santorum’s planet prenatal testing is a tool designed by heathens to do away with all detectable disabilities. In the real world…prenatal testing allows expecting parents to know the detectable health status of their pregnancy.

That wretched ‘liberals don’t care about the disabled’ bullshit is just the latest in a long list of Santorumisms that Rick likes to spout and thinks he’s particularly empowered to spout because he has a daughter with special needs.

I’ve got news for the Santorums of the world – your policies barely meet the basic needs of my brother with special needs.

Y’all can use this issue as a campaign tool when you bring your political GPA above failing.

You care?

Well, my brother shouldn’t be told by his state that making $100 a month at a job disqualifies him for Medicare coverage…because conservatives under the dome passed a “reform” to punish poor people without giving a shit that many disabled people are poor.

Still caring?

My brother shouldn’t face a monthly food allowance of $160 per month…because conservatives under the dome think hunger is a motivator and fail to grasp the reality that special needs children will become special needs adults who still have…wait for it… “needs” like food.

And let me keep it real – we are the lucky ones to only have that shit to fret about.

I’ve had it with politicians using people with special needs to score political points with a base that can’t be bothered to employ, volunteer with, or look a person with special needs in the eye.

Oh, they talk the talk.

But they all too often fail to walk the walk.

The realness - Rick Santorum and all those caring conservatives support legislation by Senator Blunt that would allow any employer in the state of Missouri to deny coverage by claiming a moral objection.

That could and often would include autism treatments and therapies…just think of all of those kids with special needs that will be denied coverage simply because their parent’s employer claimed a moral objection.

And while you hesitate…Missouri already has incidents of “church plans” denying coverage for autism treatment even though the church in question has no apparent religious objection to autism or people with autism or the parents of people with autism.

Spare me the campaign rhetoric about who "cares" about people with special needs.

I’m from Missouri - you’ve got to show me.

***cue crickets*** 

Moral objections, forced confessions, and Senator Blunt’s amendment from hell…

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

Longtime readers know that I had a hysterectomy in November of 2010.  I had fibroids and endometriosis, both of which had been treated successfully for a decade.

What folks might not know is that I had surgery to remove round 1 of my fibroids in 2001.  After that surgery I had my first experience with a denial of coverage – my surgeon prescribed Lupron shots for 6 months post surgery so that I wouldn’t have a period while my uterus healed. Lupron is widely prescribed for infertility…my insurance plan did not cover infertility treatments…so each month I had the damn near indescribably drama of explaining to the insurance company that I had fibroids removed and my doctor prescribed Lupron for something other than trying to get pregnant.

Trust that the woman working customer service at my then insurer knew more about my reproductive plans than my family...oh, and her boss too ‘cause we always had to call the manager in…um, and the pharmacy that we looped in for those multi-person conference calls…and finally the fantabulous staffer at my doctor’s office who was used to this bullshit and was often looped in when I was just too exhausted and stressed out my the process (two things one would think an insurance company would want a person just out of surgery to avoid…ugh).

I went through that bullshit once a month every month for six months.

Then I went on the pill…yes, that one…to make sure that my fibroids didn’t grow as rapidly as they had before and to try to keep my endometriosis at bay.

And the pill did all of that for a decade, until 2010 when I had a hysterectomy.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

When I heard that a certain Senator Roy Blunt (R-Missouri) introduced an amendment to the Affordable Care Act that would allow any employer to refuse to cover whatever service they claim a moral objection to…well, I thought about my previous experience with Lupron and why I ended up on the pill.

I thought about having to explain my bitness to my employer...about having to make some sort of case for meds that are legal and that I have no moral objection to.

And I keep circling back to what the pill did for me…and what would have happened if I hadn’t been able to take it to control the growth of fibroid tumors and endometriosis.

I would not have had choices or treatment options.

I would have had a hysterectomy eleven years ago…at 28.

Not because I wanted to or even needed to...

...but because that would have been all I was left with.

Which is exactly what happens to many women who face a lack of access to health care…a lack of options and choices that results from a lack of coverage.

This so-called birth control battle is about a lot more than contraception...it is about not having to beg, negotiate, or endure a forced public confession to get access to services and medicine denied based on some employer’s morality glitch.

Senator Blunt’s amendment would turn some of the most common medical happenings into…well, into an absolute stress out like my Lupron drama.

And for the trolls currently contemplating a comment about how I could have paid for Lupron out of pocket – that shit cost $600 a shot back in 2001…multiply that by 6 months and then kiss my “liberty”.

Quizzicals on religious liberty in practice…

Shall we?

This has been one heck of a hectic month. I’ve barely had time to explore the wild world of recently filed state legislation, but a certain SB749 filed in Missouri by Senator Lamping (R-24) was just too intriguing to ignore.

SB 749 looks like another in a long line of Missouri-based legislative confusion seeking to place state law over federal law – in this case, the bill seeks to deny Missourians certain benefits of the Affordable Care Act.

Yep, you guessed it…this mess came from the meltdown anti-contraception groups are still having over the recent HHS ruling that contraception will be covered without co-payment or deductible in insurance plans and the Obama Administration’s subsequent clarification that those business-esque churches religiously opposed to contraception would not have to offer coverage in their plans.

A recent St. Louis Post-Dispatch editorial sums up this fight against access to contraception very well.

Anyhoo, I couldn’t help but wonder what inspired Senator Lamping to resurrect the state’s rights arguments and legislative tactics of the pro-segregation South in defiance of contraception coverage without co-payment.

Lamping’s bio says that he works as the blah blah blah for a major St. Louis-based securities brokerage firm and is very active in his community. He has served as a member of the Finance Board and as Parish Council President for St. Alphonsus Church and as the treasurer for Boys Hope Girls Hope of St. Louis. He is currently serving as the Endowment Chair for St. Louis University High School, is a member of the Stewardship Committee for Our Lady of the Pillar and is a member of the Endowment Committee for the St. Louis City Academy.

Um.

Pause…rewind…hit play.

What was that about St. Louis University High School?

Senator Lamping is currently serving as the Endowment Chair at SLU High…the same SLU High that was in the news a wee bit ago.

Mmmhmm, SLU High made the news because the Catholic high school offers insurance coverage to employees through Christian Brothers Services…and Christian Brothers Services is a “church plan”…so when two teachers working at SLU High tried to access coverage for autism services guaranteed through the new Missouri autism insurance coverage mandate they were denied.

Yes.

For real.

Way!

Denied coverage for autism services and treatment…in the name of religious liberty because of a religious exemption granted insurance designated as church plans.

And the choir asked… “What is the religious objection the Catholic Church has against insurance coverage for autism therapies and treatments?”

I am so glad y’all asked!

None.

I’ve not been able to find a single religious objection the Catholic Church has to autism or autism treatments and therapies.

Note to trolls preparing to comment about Lamping having children on the autism spectrum – I’m aware. As the sister and co-guardian of an adult with autism I make a point of knowing everyone under the dome involved in the autism community.

Where was I?

Oh yes!

I found some internet residue from Lamping’s campaign website proclaiming his support of the autism insurance mandate that passed prior to his run for office.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

What I wasn’t able to find was any comment from Senator Lamping on the refusal of SLU High’s insurance plan to adhere to that autism insurance mandate or the church plan’s confusing use of a religious exemption for refusing a treatment that the Catholic Church appears to have no religious objection to.

Which takes me back to that Senate bill, the curious use of religious liberty in practice, and the quizzicals sparked by Senator Lamping’s leadership roles within Catholic institutions when examined along side his filing of legislation that would effectively shield those institutions from covering…well, anything they don’t want to.

If SB 749 were to become law in Missouri then you can bet your happy ass the same liberated religions that would refuse coverage for autism treatments would move to expand their…liberty…to all manner of things we call healthcare.

Trust that the list of things insurance plans would not cover would quickly be as extensive as the list of organizations currently praising their minion du jour Senator Lamping.

***tilts head***

Come, come now…this was never about religious liberty.

This is about money and power and the power of money.

Which brings me to my final quizzical.

If claiming religious liberty is the new slick business move to shield insurance plans from the financial hit of actually covering healthcare…

…does that mean Senate Bills are the new way to fast track indulgences?

Blink.

In a place where there is no space or time…

I came of age with Whitney Houston’s music.

I built dreams with her voice echoing through my mind.

I found the strength to cope with many a tragedy as the sheer power of her talent damn near held me up.

I fell in love…made love…fell out of love…and then did it all over again and her music was there.

Always there…

...until it wasn’t.

I woke up this morning saddened by her death and with her version of A Song for You playing through my mind.

Now I’m just going to listen to the melody because her love is in there…

...hiding...

...in a place where there is no space or time.

And now that her life is over…I’m remembering when it was almost like we were in a room together and it was like she was singing a song just for me.

There was just her voice.

My eyes were closed tight.

And the final note lifted..it soared, like air…

So beautiful I just had to shake my head in wonder at it.

So haunting…

…that I weep for the end of it.

Santor-mentum!

Anyhoo…

A certain Rick Santorum has swept a grouping of primaries, including my home state of Missouri’s non-binding $7 million dollar why-the-fuck-did-this-primary-happen primary.

As political pundits freak the fuck out and try to make the case that Santor-mentum is what they thought would happen all along, this bitch is doing a happy dance in my couch-based area.

No, I’m not a Santorum fan.

Ugh…that’d be like 75% weather being a fan of blizzards.

Nope, I’m dancing in my couch-based area because the gods of blog content have blessed me with a continuation of the GOP nominee selection process!

I was worried…even doubtful…after Newt’s Newt-based behavior started to turn off everyone except the fringe to the right of Cruella De Vil.

But I shouldn’t have doubted…

…or forgotten that Santorum was making all sorts of noise that he is in this to win this and totally prepared to go down in an angry homophobic race-baiting explosion of no-sex-for-pleasure frothified hate.

***pours cup of coffee while chanting thanks to the gods of blog content in hopes for a three candidate Newt/Romney/Santorum floor fight at the GOP convention***

Free is free, co-payments are payments, and I am so tired of this shit...

I have heard a certain faux-statement of reality related to the bizarre resistance against eliminating co-pays for preventive medicine one time too many.

Meds without a co-payment are not “free”.

If the word “co-pay” enters a discussion...then y’all are talking about insurance coverage.

If y’all are talking about insurance coverage...then folks are paying for insurance.

If folks are paying for insurance...THEN YOU ARE PAYING FOR MEDS & SERVICES!!

All the elimination of a co-payment does is allow Americans seeking preventive services and meds to do so without paying more money on top of monthly fees.

Because prevention is a good thing, people…it actually saves all of us all money and keeps those health insurance fees down.

If it makes people feel better they can always take their pay stub to the doctor and then look at the amount paid for health insurance really hard after the appointment is over.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

This obsession with acting like not paying a co-payment is getting something for free reminds me of the fools who celebrate getting a tax refund as if their ass isn’t getting their own fucking money back.

Blink.

Getting my lobby on...

I'm heading to Jefferson City for the first pro-choice Lobby Day of 2012!

Happy, happy, happy...joy, joy, JOY!

Bitchitude shall be delayed until my ass gets back home.

Toodles!

p.s. Happy Missouri non-binding Primary Day! I'll be voting anyway 'cause I want the option of participating in the Caucus (yes...for real...Missouri is doing BOTH...sigh) but someone needs to pay for wasting $7 million on what is essentially theatre (I'm looking at y'all, MO GOP). Just sayin'.

“Give”…me a fucking break, Teleflora…

Hi y’all and Happy Monday!

Wince.

Let’s jump right on in.

I was going to do a post on the Super Bowl ads, but I woke up this morning feeling more pissed off on behalf of the men I know (the alleged target of these ads).

It’s bad enough that brands everyone and their mother uses feel the need to humiliate or objectify women to get a laugh - factor in the fact that these brands just blew around 3.5 million dollars for the pleasure and this bitch is wondering why some of these companies don’t sue their agency for reckless endangerment.

Case in point – Teleflora.

If I could I’d sit that creative team down for a face-to-face correction!

An ad that makes the fucked up from the floor up case that “you give and you receive” to pitch sending flowers on Valentine’s Day in exchange for (I’m guessing now since soooo much time and attention was spent on the model’s application of lipstick) oral pleasure…Lawd, give me strength…is equal parts false advertising and insulting.

But the kicker is that the dumb-asses behind this insult to the senses knew they were going to run during the Super Bowl and therefore should have known that the women in the lives of the men they think they were hooking up with a guaranteed blow job were most likely watching the ad too...which taints any flowers sent through Teleflora with all the affection of the first time the woman getting them got called a whore at a bar for refusing a drink from a stranger.

Ugh.

Um, I’m serious…I heard a collective “ugh” sound throughout my neighborhood immediately following that ad.

Anyhoo, we all deserve better than this. The bulk of the ads targeting men during the Super Bowl insult the hell out of them even as they perpetuate dangerous and demeaning stereotypes about women.

Pause…consider…continue.

That brings up a new quizzical.

If one of the reasons why advertising agencies continue to insult the hell out of women despite our buying power is that there are not enough women in the fucking room when these fools come up with their “ideas”…

…then what the fuck is the excuse for the ads these fools come up with to target men?

***cue crickets***

Blink.

Pondering breast cancer, politics, and the 2 percent...

 

Update – Komen has reversed their decision!

_________________________________________________

It has been one hell of a week, hasn’t it?

Happy Friday!

Shall we?

As most of you know, the Susan G. Komen Foundation chose to defund Planned Parenthood of grant funding for breast health programs that cover exams known to save lives.

In my home state of Missouri, Planned Parenthood affiliates perform 13,000 breast exams…2 percent of which are referred for additional examination.

Komen’s crisis management fail post announcement has opened up space for a broader examination of the charity’s operation and alarming social conservative roots.

But I’m going to do what Komen didn’t do - focus on the mission and the 2 percent of Missouri women who went into a Planned Parenthood exam room full of fear and uncertainty and walked out with resources, information, and Planned Parenthood standing with them as they begin the journey to defeat breast cancer.

Tis easy to become distracted by the rants from the right attempting to distort the breast health services Planned Parenthood provides.

Let me be clear so that it is forever crystal – Planned Parenthood breast health exams save lives and many of those lives are the women of color those opposed to reproductive justice profess to give a shit about even as they cheer Komen's indefensible move.

Indefensible in the face of the daunting breast cancer mortality numbers black women face.

Indefensible in the face of the reality that Planned Parenthood breast exams filled a gap in the health care system that far too many fell through.

Indefensible in the face of the fact that it is Black History month and we should all be focused on making breast cancer a part of Black “history” instead of creating hurdles that hinder access to care and services.

And indefensible when I consider the 2 percent - the sister who needs someplace to go because she felt something and knows she shouldn’t ignore it but doesn’t even know where to begin…the survivors who barely survived, because women dying due to lack of access to health care is acceptable to those opposed to reproductive justice…and those women who fought like hell, until the very last breath left their body, yet didn’t beat breast cancer because it was diagnosed too fucking late.

Shit.

Pause…collect thyself…continue.

The Komen Race for the Cure in my city of St. Louis is one of the few events that truly unite the city.

Rich, head-above-water, or poor.

LGBT, straight, somewhere on the Kinsey scale, or questioning.

Black or White or Asian or Native America.

Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or Quaker, Atheist, or Pagan.

Thousands of St. Louisans gather together, lace up sneakers or line up wheel-chairs, and walked-run-roll-shuffle...TOGETHER...united for a cure to breast cancer.

I’ve done the walk…I’ve reached the top of that hill to see the sea of people in front of me.

I’ve felt the rush of hope.

This cause deserves better than being dragged into the political muck by conservative operatives.

And the 2 percent…those women who need the breast health services funded by Komen grants and provided by Planned Parenthood…yeah, they deserve better than this as they face the fight Komen lost sight of.


Donate to the Breast Health Fund if you can.

Sign the Open Letter and Stand with Planned Parenthood.

Hold please...

Posting is delayed so that the House of Bitch can get reconnected to the internets.

This involves AT&T...

...so pray for us.

Blink.