Don't bother, they're here...

Cough.

Shall we?

Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the clowns.

Blago got his audacity on yesterday when he appointed a certain Roland Burris to represent Illinois in the Senate.

Blink.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.

Just when I'd stopped opening doors,
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again with my usual flair,
Sure of my lines,
No one is there.

The political pundits are in frenzy over this shit and the implications of seating or not seating Burris.

Oh, and just in case a body missed the racial angle (as if!!), Rep. Bobby Rush flipped his flop and took it there at the press conference…big time!

Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here.

So, here we are. Illinois lawmakers get to decide on impeachment…the legal community gets to debate whether this appointment can be blocked...the Senate gets to kick off 2009 with multiple shit-storms swirling about…and Blago gets his last laugh/major fuck you moment in the sun.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?

In many ways, 2008 was a year through which we wrestled with racial issues long neglected…and may saw Obama’s election as the end of our long national nightmare.

Losing my timing this late
In my career?

But we are so not post-racial, people.

And where are the clowns?

This move, though self-serving beyond belief, is a fine example of that.

And I can’t help but see this as the political move equivalent of a defeated general tossing plague ridden corpses over castle walls after a failed siege while yelling “Happy Fucking New Year, bitches!”

There ought to be clowns…

And some of y’all were worried that a bitch wouldn’t have anything to bitch about (wink).

...well, maybe next year.

Happy New Year!

My people call it fiction…

A bitch loves a good book.

Hell, I’m working on one my damn self…and I sure as shit hope that shit is good.

Pause...fret...continue.

I’m not working on Memoirs of a Bitch...mercy...and this bitch thinks the memoir may be in trouble after yet another publishing malfunction revealed a memoir to be a work of fiction.

Gasp.

This is more than just a failure of fact checking…or another author who has lost his damn mind...this bitch thinks it’s an example of the masses failing to properly appreciate fiction.

Blink.

Some of these memoirs exposed as fiction are really good works of…well, fiction!

But we like the fantastical to be real…to read about amazing real life stories of beautiful romance, foster children turn gang members turned authors or a million little pieces of recovery.

Those stories may be out there, but do they only work if they are true life fact infused memoirs?

Fiction kicks ass...sometimes an escape from reality is just what you need. A bitch can't help but wonder why people opt for the lie rather than admit that they wrote a good story and less than half of it really happened.

Mayhap it’s easier to promote a memoir and that’s why they are hot. A few sessions of media training for the author and they can send her or him forth to share their so false it sinks tale to the masses.

Or maybe the authors are assholes trying to make a dime and get fifteen minutes fast and easy.

Either way, my people call that shit fiction.

Fiction, for the love of all that's still a good read and should have been pitched that way!

Lawd, have mercy...

Pondering bridge building...

A bitch is recovering from my holiday feastitude and hopes y’all are too!

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

I caught the weekend political chats and something David Axelrod said on one of them made a bitch’s Afro hurt.

He was defending the choice of Rick Warren speaking at the Inauguration and said that the incoming administration looked forward to working with him and his on those things they do agree on even as they acknowledged the many things they don’t agree on.

The things they do agree on include fighting poverty in general and disease in Africa in particular.

Blink.

Now, a bitch has little patience with the way folks present the challenges facing the world as if poverty falls under one column and reproductive justice falls under another and never the two shall meet…or as if the battle over comprehensive sex education is on one side of the policy world and the fight against HIV/AIDS is on the other and those two don’t belong in the same conversation.

Lawd, have mercy.

But it occurs to me that this may be a teachable moment…for the incoming administration and for those who support bridge building with Rick Warren for the sake of bridge building with Rick Warren.

Pause...sip exceptional cup of coffee (yum!)…continue.

Here’s the thing…the Rick Warrens of the world aren’t using the same raw materials as we are.

I can just imagine this project.

We’re hammering and connecting shit.

They’re hammering and connecting shit.

But we’re using solid and proven materials like comprehensive sex education, condoms and family planning.

They’re using the structurally unstable and known to fall apart materials of abstinence-only education held together with a mixture made up of one half ‘condoms are bad’ and one half ‘family planning isn’t sanctified’.

Oh, we can build away on our bridge and eventually we’ll meet in the middle…but then what?

How far do we take this shit?

Do we walk across from our side even though we know we’re doomed to tumble once we put some weight on their structurally unstable side of things?

I’m curious as a motherfucker about what the plan is here, because you know and I know that you know and I know that bridge building dialogue for the sake of bridge building dialogue is the very definition of bullshit.

So, are we supposed to build this bridge to prove some point…to educate someone and walk them toward the bright light of reality?

Or is this project the intellectually lazy dialogue version of the bridge to nowhere?

‘Cause if it is, this bitch would just as soon take a pass and jump right to fighting poverty and disease with tools that fucking work.

Shit.

Holiday preparedness…

Lawd, a bitch has been so tired that I couldn’t seem to finish a damn thing!

I think the year is catching up to me…and add to that my annual case of the holiday blahs…oh, and the fucked up weather from hell…and suffice it to say this bitch has not been productive this week.

Shit.

But I woke up this morning with a holiday skip to my step and Elvis Costello, by way of Nick Lowe, playing in my Afro.

As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity.

I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside,
There’s one thing I wanna know:
What’s so funny ‘bout peace love & understanding?

ABB’s holiday preparedness list of needed things…

1. Food-based yummification
Morning feasting…
Bacon…’nuff said.
Potato to fry with onion
Eggs to scramble with cheese
Coffee…to wash down the yummification!

Mid morning sometime-food indulgence…
Apple pie…warm
Ice cream…cold and artificially flavored with vanilla
Bowl it comes in?
Guaranteed to be empty in a matter of seconds!

The Feast…
Asparagus drenched in butter
Creamed spinach…because C-Money digs that shit
Garlic mashed taters with butter goodness
Prime rib roast… Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!
More pie and ice cream unless I pass the fuck out after dinner…

And as I walked on
Through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

Cause each time I feel it slippin’ away, just makes me wanna cry.
What’s so funny bout peace love & understanding?
Ohhhh!
What’s so funny bout peace love & understanding?

2. Libations…
Wine
Whiskey
Vodka followed by grape cran
Sun Drop soda pop…because C-Money digs the hell out of that shit
Water…to hydrate

3. For the dawgs…

Bones...biscuits...and affection?

Check!

So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

4. Amusements in the cue…
C-Money and this bitch are currently on Season Three of Battlestar Galactica...and daaaaaaamn!

I don’t know how people managed to wait a week between episodes for them to resolve some of the shit that comes up on that show!

Hopefully the DVD gods will smile upon the House of Bitchitude and send forth new discs...stat.

Sigh.

Cause each time I feel it slippin away, just makes me wanna cry.
What’s so funny bout peace love & understanding?
Ohhhh
What’s so funny bout peace love & understanding?

Blink.

This bitch wishes the happiest of happy and multitudes of joy for all 'yall!

***logs off to continue getting my groove on***

So cold the air smells of ice…

Lawd, have mercy!

‘Tis wicked cold out there…frozen solid…so cold there’s ice on the inside of my car windows!

Shudder.

This is the kind of weather my sorta-beagles hate. They both are reluctant as hell to go outside and take care of their bitness, so this bitch has to keep a careful watch on them lest they find a warm corner and turn it into their personal dawg toilet. But one dawg's frigid torture is another dawg's dream come true…Sweetie the three-legged chow mix is thrilled that her thick fur can now be put to use and she’s taken to lounging on the back porch, nose held high as the bitter wind blows.

Sigh.

Dawgs are nothing if not diverse.

Anyhoo…shall we?

I tried to digest the news that the banks that received bailout cash aren’t tracking how they spend that shit…or are refusing to reveal how they are spending it …or are pulling some fucked up combination of not tracking and refusing…Lawd!..and my brain all but spit that data back out.

The mind can only take so much.

My first thought was about the responsibility of reporting back to a bitch…since I’m now an investor…on where the fuck my money is going, but that quickly gave way to a fierce wave of what-the-fuck pissed off wonder.

If banks aren’t keeping track of what they are doing with bailout cash, how the fuck are we going to evaluate whether the bailout infusion of cash accomplished anything?

Oh wait.

I get it.

There was a plan hidden within the lack-of-specifics non-plan bailout plan after all.

And trusting The Man with cash is like trusting a cold-hating, pee hording sorta-beagle to do the right thing.

Oh, they may surprise a bitch and go to the door, but odds are they’re trying to wait my ass out so they can pee on the carpet and stay warm while doing it when my ass is not paying attention.

Blink.

***logs off to shove dawgs outside for morning bitness***

Pissing in Corn Flakes – The Round-Up…

Shall we?

A bitch read the news that Chrysler is shutting down 30 plants for a solid month and my stomach dropped. Lawd, have mercy…talk about pissing in thousands of bowls full of Corn Flakes simultaneously.

Shit.

This is one of those happenings when theory gets real…and this bitch wonders whether folks have any idea what we are all about to witness. Saying that car manufacturers should be allowed to fold and watching them fold are two very different things. Add to that the daunting problem of America’s major production-based product being consumers with 2/3rds of our economy being based on those consumers getting their spending on and…well, we’ve seen the good and the bad and we’re about to see the ugly.

Wince.

Onward to the Greatest Ponzi Scheme on Earth.

Friends shouldn’t let friends regulate friends.

Pause…consider…continue.

Mayhap that should be ‘the masses shouldn’t let friends regulate friends’?

And this bitch is beyond disgusted with the current pleas coming from those friendly regulators that Madoff misled the SEC. If assholes didn’t mislead investors what the fuck would the SEC do? And Madoff wasn’t even slick…not even sorta clever…hell, he didn’t even work up a good sweaty sheen trying to cover his bullshit up!

There were flies all over the place…a stench wafting up and about almost from day one...a dedicated investigator would have begun the search for the piles of bullshit immediately.

Fuck a duck on Sunday.

And finally, the selection of the Purpose Driven Bigot to offer up prayers during the Inauguration.

Mercy.

A bitch yields the floor to the fantabulous Pam of Pam’s House Blend…

…and adds a dash of Katy Perry while pondering change.

Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down
You're wrong when it's right...

So much for a nice bowl of corn-based flakes...

By request, some thoughts on Oprah, the size of a person's ass and healthy happiness…

A certain Jason asked this bitch for my thoughts on Oprah’s recent weight-based confession.

Blink.

Jason, a bitch didn’t watch the episode nor have I had the chance to read the article. What I did see were several quotes and out-takes from Oprah regarding her disappointment in having gained back some of the weight she lost a few years back.

Now, I’ve been skinny and I’ve been overweight. I’ve listened to people judge others for that shit and been insulted regardless of the size of my own ass.

The thing is…and I think Oprah eventually circled back to this point…that folks need to be healthy. This bitch happens to think that the road to healthy requires the fuel of happiness and that happiness isn’t achieved by ripping into yourself because you’re carrying extra pounds.

Shit, when I'm unhappy I'm far more likely to eat sometime foods all the fucking time and in large quantities!

And there’s nothing less attractive than a person mouthing off about how fat someone is or how some celebrity has let it all go to hell…and when a body turns that superficial shit on themselves 'tis just sad.

Cough.

This bitch’s "ah ha moment" regarding weight came when I faced surgery for fibroids several years back. I gained a lot of weight…some of it due to meds and a lot of it due to a serious affection for dulce de leche ice cream (yum!) and all things fried. And I said a lot of unattractive and sad things about myself. But when I sat in a hospital waiting to go into that operating room, the size of my ass was the last thing on my mind…and you can bet your ass it didn’t return to be top of mind when I was blessed to wake the fuck up three hours later.

Sigh.

Yeah, I’ve been skinny and full of figure and everything between.

And I’ve been fine as hell through it all (wink).

It just took a healthy dose of reality for me to really realize that.

Mayhap Ms. Oprah is working toward achieving a healthy happiness as she strives to achieve a healthy weight/appearance/shape for her ass.

One thing's for sure - if she feels like everyone is talking about her weight she need only look at the dieter in the mirror for the source (wince).

Pondering Dickey C.’s reflections…

Oh, I’m all alone now
No love to shield me
Trapped in a world
That’s a distorted reality...

This bitch caught the teaser segment on ABC News this morning for Vice President’s Cheney’s exclusive reflection-based interview that the network appears to be spreading across their entire news line-up for all its worth…and Reflections by The Supremes popped into my head.

Sigh.

Dickey C. is reflecting on his eight years in office and laying claim to the policy of torturing terror suspects, saying that…wait for it!!!...9/11 has been his prime motivation for most of the programs the administration gave a green light to.

He went on to add that 9/11 changed him and his thoughts on what was appropriate to do in defense of the nation.

Blink.

And a bitch can’t help but wonder at that admission and Dickey C.’s apparent inability to see in the mind of the other the same logic he’s tossing out in his own defense.

Fear…the natural instinct to protect family and home…the willingness to go beyond the borders of previously held values because you believe the enemy has no values or limits and is capable of anything and everything…all that has been used to justify all manner of atrocities since humans stood up and built a fire.

But that don’t make it right.

Sigh.

Damn if this isn't an example of how easily those in power fail moral tests and how all their justifications fall apart in reflection...

...where a glance at the mirror reveals the monster you fear most staring right back atcha.

And the whole world was watching.

The whole world was watching...

Cold as hell...

A bitch is fucking freezing!

15 fucking degrees and a sheet of ice on everything?

That shit ain't right.

And now I have to go outside and warm up Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio so we can slide our way to work.

Shit!

Bitchitude shall return this evening...when a bitch can put on my flannel and thaw the fuck out.

The proof is in his hair?

Have y'all heard the news that Big Rod is crazy?

Blink.

Mmmhmm, and...allegedly...the proof is in his hair.

Lawd, give me strength.

Brother Rob Thurman breaks this shit down.

Go on with your bad self, Brother Rob!

Felonious politics and the need to keep this shit real…

Shall we?

A bitch was hoping the anticipation would last longer, but damn it all if Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. didn’t fess up to being Candidate #5 during a press conference yesterday.

Blink.

Rep. Jackson is not the focus of this corruption investigation and he denied sending emissaries to see Big Rod to pitch a pay-to-play deal in the Great Illinois Senate Seat Auction of 2008, but this bitch predicts his dream of joining the Senate is now over.

Pause…crack knuckles…continue.

This bitch is more than a little disturbed by an emerging theme surrounding the political drama in Illinois. Many a talking head has presented Illinois as some rare state where corruption has gone wrong…as if pay-to-play was conceived, birthed and permanently resides in Illinois.

And that, my friends, is bullshit.

I’ll give them that Illinois has had a series of juicy scandals, but no one should look at this shit as an Illinois problem.

If your jaw dropped…if you cursed under your breath at the clumsiness of it all…if you are disgusted by the stupidity of an elected official already under investigation chatting his ass off in bug-able places and allegedly discussing all manner of illegal activity in the Governor's office…Lawd, have mercy...and you happen to not live in Illinois, then you need check that better them than us attitude and get real about the role back-room dealing plays in politics everywhere.

Every fucking where.

Shit, North Dakota beats Illinois by a long shot.

Cough.

I’m not defending this shit.

I just don’t see any benefit in anyone thinking bold ass felonious politics is as unique to Illinois as Chicago style deep-dish yummified pizza.

There, but for the lack of a federal investigation, go far too many states...

And all that jazz…

Confession – the soundtrack for Chicago is still running through a bitch’s Afro in response to the Great Illinois Senate Auction of 2008.

Sigh.

Anyhoo, this bitch caught the tail end of a news report on Big Rod’s big drama that mentioned a certain Candidate #5 of the numerous candidates vying for the open Senate seat in Illinois. Allegedly Candidate #5’s emissaries said they could raise up to a solid million for Big Rod…mayhap for his own Senate run…and that they were willing to give the Governor something tangible upfront.

Blink.

Find a flask
We're playing fast and loose!

A bitch is obsessing!

It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl!

Who is Candidate #5?

Who are these emissaries?

What tangible thing were they willing to offer up?

No, I'm no one's wife (wink)
But, Oh, I love my life!

Lawd, this hot mess of a political scandal is going to take a lot of people down…hard, face down and onto cold concrete.

And all that jazz…

He only has himself to blame…

This bitch was listening to NPR while driving to work this morning and heard the breaking news that Gov. Rod Blagojevich was arrested on corruption charges.

The Governor of Illinois?!?

Oh my…how not shocking.

I must confess that my first reaction was pure jealousy. Well, it isn’t fair! Illinois gets all the federal corruption investigations of sitting Governors! And now it looks like they’re getting an impeachment too while certain Governors are going to ride off into the sunset come January indictment free despite their scandalicious behavior.

Couldn’t Mr. Fitzgerald spread the love a little?

Shit.

Anyhoo, based on the press conference it would seem that Big Rod had it coming…he had it coming…he only has himself to blame!

Sorry…my bad…that damn song has been in a bitch's head all fucking day.

Cough.

Pat Fitzgerald of the bring Scooter Libby to sorta-justice Fitzgeralds held a press conference in which he read from the wiretap transcript, replacing all those alleged “motherfuckers” and “fuck him”s with “bleeping” and “bleep him”s.

Pause…consider…continue.

And shouldn’t those have been motherbleepers?

What?

I’m just asking.

The political pundits are now scrambling to uncover possible links between Obama and Obama supporters and anything Obama related and the now indicted Governor…and a bitch awaits the fruit of their labor...but my ass was struck by the alleged use of phrases like “fuck him, that motherfucker” by Big Rod in response to the Obama team’s alleged apparent unwillingness to pay-to-play with anything more than their gratitude.

As someone who regularly uses phrases like "fuck that fucking motherfucker", I can tell y’all that the phrase isn’t a term of endearment and probably speaks volumes about the nature of the response to Big Rod's "show me the motherfucking money!" Senate appointment pitch.

Time shall tell.

Either way, this is one hell of a fucked up drama hitting Illinois just when they need it least.

And ain't that a fine mess to kick off the new year with?

Shit.

***logs off singing My kind of town, Chicago is a bitch's kind of town! in a desperate attempt to get the soundtrack from Chicago out of my Afro***

...like bears at the zoo.

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

The economic news continues to be grim…so much so that this bitch had to turn the news off the other night and watch several hours of Discovery Health Channel programming followed by some Animal Planet. Nothing puts life into perspective like learning about a woman who was pregnant for 46 years and then watching surgeons remove a…well, I won’t spoil it for you and you might be eating, but trust a bitch that Discovery Health is a fantabulous avoidance tool.

And don’t get me started on Animal Planet…talk about drama!

Anyhoo, there is no way this St. Louis based bitch could avoid the news that Anheuser-Busch InBev is cutting 1,400 jobs…most of them from the St. Louis area. We knew this was coming…the merger earlier this year created a lot of overlap…but the timing is fucked given the job market and the reality that market isn’t going to get healthy anytime soon.

Sigh.

I woke up this morning thinking about the current state of things…the proposed government sorta-loans and the housing fuckeduptitude…and I’m reminded of wild animals wandering into suburban neighborhoods to forage for food.

The suburban sprawl continues to creep into bear territory…the bears learn that there is food to be had from garbage cans and such…and authorities keep rounding up bears and flying them back into the wilderness only to have them wander back in time after time.

People start freaking out. Some call for population control...others try to come up with new and improved garbage cans…and the bears keep coming down from the mountain to get their forage on.

The cycle continues… because no one wants to discuss the reasons for why those bears are strolling through the ‘burbs.

Shit, we’ll start killing off bears before we consider hitting the brakes and addressing the question of whether we need another subdivision out in what used to be bear country…whether building that subdivision is a wise economic decision or whether it makes more sense to rethink the definition of growth and mayhap rehab an existing neighborhood in the city.

Instead we continue to do what we’ve been doing because there’s no doubt on the winner in a growth versus bear battle…

…and this bitch fears the American worker will soon be on exhibit in a zoo and damn near extinct in the wild.

Lawd, have mercy!

Mayhap a bitch should rethink falling asleep whilst watching Animal Planet.

Blink.

Pondering the Chicago sit-in...

A bitch saw a news report on the worker sit-in at Republic Windows and Doors and…well, wow! The story is getting a lot of play and this bitch thinks this worker action is an example of the reality many workers face in these fubaristic economic times.

The workers were laid off with three days notice and no offer of severance or vacation pay. Their bosses blame Bank of America for not extending credit. Bank of America says that they are not responsible for Republic Windows and Doors responsibilities as an employer. And this bitch is thinking that this shit is exactly why most of us are fucking disgusted with the bailout epidemic currently breaking out in Washington.

Between the lack of home-owner considerations in the first bailout plan to the general disregard towards worker protections in the current proposals, there is a serious disconnect between the proposals to stimulate the economy and the creation of plans that actually reach workers who are the engine that will actually stimulate the economy.

And I don’t give a flying shit if some CEO is working for a $1 a year…show me that motherfucker’s complete compensation plan, which I suspects is oozing money.

Fuck.

And the workers of Republic Windows and Doors continue to occupy the space they labored in while their demands for economic justice are met with shrugs and denials of responsibility.

This reality…the worker’s reality…is what we need to consider as our government tosses billions at companies without so much as a “go fuck yourself!” to address the workers at those companies who will be left out in the cold when the money machine goes off line.

Shit rolls down hill...

…and picks up speed along the way.

The Bleeding Deacon Grand Opening…

What?

The Bleeding Deacon Grand Opening

When?

Saturday, December 13, 2008 6:00 PM to 1:00 AM

Where?

4123 Chippewa St. (Just West of Gravois Ave.)

The Damage?

‘Tis FREE!

And there will be complimentary snacks and drinks!

A bitch had the honor of stuffing myself at The Bleeding Deacon a couple of weekends ago and it was fantabulous!

By request, a rant…

This one’s for Margaret in Bangor…who has promised a bitch hot chocolate if I ever visit!

Shall we?

Ed Rendell put his foot in it when he said Janet Napolitano was perfect for her new job in government because she has no life.

But Rendell said what a lot of people think about singles in general and single women in particular – we have no life so we have tons of time and few personal obligations.

If a bitch had a dollar for every time someone has said shit like that to me I’d be able to fund a fucking bailout.

Well, I call bullshit!

And the people saying it should know that it is bullshit…unless they actually spent their single years sighing and fretting over when they’d partner up and thus get a life.

Shit.

Breaking news – I have a life!

A bitch may be single but I sure as shit have a family.

Gasp!

Pause…roll eyes…continue.

Now this bitch knows that conservatives has been busting ass for years trying to define “family” as one man and one woman joined in sanctified marriage with at least two kids, a mortgage and a pair of chocolate labs, but if this bitch waited for those assholes to get a fucking clue I’d be a damn fool just like Ed Rendell is a damn fool for thinking Napolitano’s single status equals a lack of a life which will then make her the perfect workaholic for her new job.

Lawd, have mercy.

The worst thing about the comment is that it ignores the accomplishments of Napolitano and folks like her working in government who get the fucking job done and balance having a life with service…

…but a bitch doesn’t need to hear a chorus of crickets to know that shit won’t be acknowledged anytime soon.

That'd be too much like right...

Ooooh Canada...

Longtime readers know that a bitch adores Canada.

Not only is there great hockey…and Tim Horton’s…and an abundance of Smarties…but Canada also has some of the best political theater in North America!

Blink.

What?

Did y’all think we have the only show ‘round?

Shit.

This bitch has been following the drama facing Canadian PM Harper and my ass is fascinated. Harper is on the ropes now that Liberal and New Democratic parties have joined Bloc Quebecois in an attempt to unseat Tories…so Harper has suspended Parliament!

Daaaaaaaaamn.

Confession – a bitch has always been a wee bit jealous of that dissolve government and no confidence shit. That would have come in handy as a motherfucker down here...more than once...sigh.

Anyhoo, this bitch wants details!

What’s the status?

What’s going to happen?

Is this a good thing or is all hell about to break out?

And when is the price of Smarties going to go down (wink)?

A Bitchfirmation for Fal…

For Fal, because you asked.

Shall we?

When my father passed away I struggled with a lot of things. I wanted to be angry...to scream and shout and vent, because my time with him was too short. I wanted to mourn as the ancients did…to wail and moan and beat at my body until my physical pain equaled my emotional pain. And I wanted everything to stop…for motion to cease and time to stand still until the storm in my heart settled.

But time didn’t stand still.

Life moved on with freakish normalcy even though everything in my world was anything but normal.

I woke up one day with a song playing in my mind…one of my favorite songs from church that I used to sing while standing beside my father so many years ago.

I feel like going on.
Though trials come on every hand.
I feel like going on.

I hummed it as I prepared to start the day and I sang it in the shower, as tears of blessed remembrance blended with the water washing over my face.

Though the storm may be raging
And the billows are tossing high,
I feel like going on.

I sang while driving to work…and suddenly I just pulled over and knew, even as I sat in a car on the side of the road, that I wept out of love for a most extraordinary man. And I found the fuel to go on.

Though trials come…

Let yourself feel.

Let the tears flow.

On every hand…

For you will find that you can celebrate a life even as you mourn the loss of it.

I feel like going on.

And you will.

Stuffy of nose and oily of stomach…

A bitch is feeling illish…stuffy of nose and oily of stomach.

Shit!

Oh well, ‘tis the season for colds and such.

Wince.

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

This bitch took the weekend off from everything so my ass is catching up on the sorta-news…and Lawd have mercy!

Pondering the attacks in India…
I’m always amazed by how the press is unable to report on a world event without filtering it through a narrow American perspective. In the case of the attacks in India, the media frenzied about whether these attacks were launched Al Qaeda…and that’s understandable, since they were coordinated and multi-locational.

But to stop there...to get hung up there and then gaze about frantically in obvious confusion when your own expert consultants point out that it might not be that simple?

Well, that’s just fucked up and frustrating as hell.

Breaking news – other countries have internal and external threats that are different from our internal and external threats!

Is it too much to ask for an exploration of the complexity of it all?

Can a bitch get some background information, for the love of Reporting 101?

***cue crickets***

Shit!

Pondering the Wal-Mart stampede…
Lawd, have mercy!

A man was trampled to death when doors opened at a Wal-Mart for post Thanksgiving Day shopping. Let me say that shit again…a man DIED!

And people went on shopping.

Hell, they demanded that they be allowed to continue shopping…’cause they had waited in line for several hours.

Blink.

What the fuck, people?

This wasn’t a food riot outside of a United Nations relief drop. This was an opportunity to shop at a motherfucking Wal-Mart!

Fuck a duck, what the hell could you possible need bad enough to continue to get your shop on after…of fuck it.

Save money maybe but "live better" my black ass...

Pondering World Aids Day...

I remember the first time I heard of Aids and saw images of those suffering from it flash across the television screen.

I remember friends lost…the hateful rhetoric of those who saw their death as God’s judgment…the courageous activists who have taken us so far…the marches and protests…the songs and poems…and the continuing presence of Aids in the world.

And I circle back to the fact that every day is World Aids Day.

Every second…and we must place a priority on treatment, research and education.

Every hour…and we cannot afford to continue to think of Aids as someone else's problem.

Every day…and we must discuss of Aids impacts our loved ones and communities and act on that accordingly from a position of respect.

Every second...every hour…every single day.

Thankful Day Preparedness…

Lawd, have mercy.

The radio stations are already playing Christmas music 24/7 and this bitch is beyond over that shit.

Ugh!

Do they do it to punish us?

Huh?

The thing is, there aren’t that many Christmas songs…and recording artists tend to record the same ten songs and try to put their own spin on it, so the masses end up listening to one hundred different versions of Let it Fucking Snow (shudder).

It makes a bitch hostile as a motherfucker!!

Pause...consider...continue.

Mayhap this will inspire my ass to figure out how to make my I Pod play in Miss SisterGirl Cabrio.

Shit.

Fuck it.

Onward to Thankful Day preparedness!

Newish readers should know that a bitch is all about preparedness, particularly during the holidays. One wouldn’t want to bunker down for a four-day holiday weekend and find out that your ass is out of vodka (gasp!) or that you don't have a damn thing to munch upon.

Blink.

Thus, the list.

Food-based munchables…
Shark-Fu’s Corn Casserole Yumminess
Brother Rob Thurman's Green Bean Casserole
Mama Thurman's Stuffing
Sour Cream Potato Mash
Roasted bird
Bread-based something-or-other
C-Money’s Apple pie…it's mine, mine all MINE!!
C-money’s Sweet Potato pie
Ice cream…to put on the pie, for the love of al that’s fantabulous!
Ryan’s Divine Bread pudding…yumtastic!

Drinkables...
Vodka…duh.
Grape cran…duh to the second power.
Citrus-based soda pop
Bourbon…from Kentucky, natch.
Holiday beer…for C-Money
Diet Coke…for Brother Rob Thurman

Meds…
Allergy pills…approved for high blood pressure because a bitch takes my pressure seriously
Tylenol…because something is going to work my nerves at some point (wince)

Viewage…
Ordinary People…because ‘tis a tradition that puts this bitch in a holiday frame of mind (wink).
Red, White and Blue…if you have to ask then you don't need to know!

Fall-back films…
Watergate
Love Actually
The Exorcist...what?..as if you don't watch it every holiday...shit.

Blink.

Last but not least - for the dawgs…
Kibble and snackable dawg crisps
Chewing bones
And lots of people about to love on them!

Ah, the holidays...happy, happy, happy and joy times three!

Pondering the Get Over Its...

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

I was reading an article on the protests against Proposition 8 and several comments carried the “You lost – get over it!!” theme in support of Prop. 8.

I can’t even imagine the kind of life that lets a person think rights are decided like a hockey game tied after overtime. I’m thinking a person has to be pretty fucking blessed to feel comfortable with a winner takes all shoot-out. Shit, a bitch isn’t exactly comfortable with that solution during hockey games.

I mean, does that world view have limits?

Would the Get Over Its respond to everything that way?

I can just see them as characters in my new favorite television obsession, Battlestar Galactica.

“We’ve been invaded by Cylons! We lost - let's get over it!!”

Blink.

Anyhoo, this bitch suspects that these Get Over Its are also fans of gradualism. They probably think women would have gotten the vote…eventually. People of color would have gotten civil rights…simply with the passage of time. The Cylons would have come to regret their world domination and leave the humans alone…after a century or two.

Well, my people call that bullshit.

Patience ain’t a virtue in the struggle for equality and this bitch will not be getting over a motherfucking thing.

***logs off to begin marathon viewage of Battlestar Galactica Season Two***

By request – A Bitch’s thoughts on the transition thus far and some other shit…

A certain Rodney from Montreal (city of lights and Smartie-based goodness!!) sent this bitch an email with some requests.

Well Rodney, you asked for it!

Regarding Thanksgiving Preparedness.
Yes, a bitch will post my Thanksgiving preparedness list of needed things and include my recipe for Corn Casserole Yummification.

Gawd, I love food-based holidays!

Regarding the Democratic Caucus forgiving Senator Lieberman.
Hmmm....well, that’s best explored through the musical brilliance of the Dixie Chicks.

I’m not ready to make nice!
I’m not ready to back down!
I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time to go round and round and round.
It’s too late to make it right!
I probably wouldn’t if I could!
‘Cause I’m mad as hell...can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should!

Cough.

A bitch gets the logical shit about keeping one’s enemies close, but there’s a difference between monitoring that asshole and handing him his knife back then turning your back on his ass. As for his future vote on critical shit, a bitch has a hard time believing Democrats can count on that shit anymore than they could count on him behaving during the campaign.

Plus there’s the lost opportunity to send a strong message to those who may ponder showing their natural ass in support of The Dark Side in the future…but ‘tis done.

Sigh.

As for my thoughts on the Obama transition thus far…
A bitch must confess that I’ve been a wee bit distracted by the fact that my home state of Missouri took for-fucking-ever to count our General Election votes (for the love of…fuck, fuck and another fuck!!).

We finally finished...and thank Gawd the nation wasn't waiting on us to decide a damn thing...so I promise to be more attentive.

I did notice the development of a theme that the selection of Clinton-era folks for certain positions means that not a damn thing is going to change but the date come January.

On a case-by-case basis, I’m not convinced that is true…but it makes for good copy. This bitch would prefer that the press focus on the series of lame-duck rancidity Scooter B. and his minions are trying to squirt through as our long national nightmare comes to an end…but I’m not driving the spin bus.

Regarding the much speculated upon selection of Senator Clinton as Secretary of State, that’s the pick that probably inspires “will this lead to change?” speculation for a bitch.

Shit…catch that knee before some body gets hurt!

Mercy.

My concern comes from the difference in diplomatic policy expressed by Clinton and Obama during the campaign. This bitch is looking forward to some serious bridge building and relationship repairing on the international stage and I have to wonder if Senator Clinton can sing someone else’s song. Soloists don’t always blend well in a choir…I’m just saying.

But a bitch recalls the past underestimation of the decision-making skills of Team Obama. For all the talk of the media’s adoration of Obama 2008 during the campaign, a bitch remembers a steady beat of doubt and second-guessing all the way up to the decisive win on Election Day.

The balance between selecting the experienced people needed to make shit happen (and trust a bitch, skills are needed) and the out-of-the-box thinkers needed to make the right shit happen will be daunting to establish and tricky to maintain.

And it is that balance that this bitch is looking for as the transition proceeds and selections continue to be made.

Right now, the puzzle is far from complete...

Survey for Planned Parenthood of the St. Louis Region

This one goes out to my St. Louis readers.

Please take a moment to help the fantabulous folks at Planned Parenthood of the St. Louis Region by filling out this survey.

Click here, damn it (wink)!

It only takes a few minutes and all answers will be kept confidential.

Thanks!

Bracing for fubar…

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

A bitch has been watching coverage of the hearings with auto industry CEOs and the stock market too.

Pause…check blood pressure…continue.

What the fuck?

I repeat, WHAT THE FUCK!!!?

Who the hell takes a private jet to a bailout hearing where they then beg for money? That was one huge FUCK YOU to strategery, assholes.

And where do we go from here?

***cue crickets***

Shit!

As much as a bitch shares the disgust over the ways and means of auto industry CEOs, I’m beyond worried about the impact the failure of that industry will have on communities across the nation.

Hell, it’s not just the auto industry…we’re bracing for layoffs in almost every business category.

In my community we have plants preparing to close…businesses going out of business…take-overs that will most likely result in layoffs…and all manner of shops and services that serve all those businesses that are now positioned perfectly to achieve fubar before the end of the year.

It’s like waiting for an attack you know will fucking devastate you.

And after every news segment covering economic drama this bitch mentally explores the options…umm, err the lack of options.

What business will come into town and replace the jobs already lost and those soon to be lost?

What industry will surge and replace the industries that are dying?

Pause...listen...continue.

Well, at least crickets are working overtime.

Blink.

Belated Kick Ass Award pictures

A bitch rarely posts pictures of myself, but C-Money managed to sweet talk Jonathan S. Pollack of J. Pollack Photography into taking shots of me during the Kick Ass Awards event and now she’s all over my ass to post them.


Check out J. Pollack’s website – the man has skills and he made my sister happy!


Congrats to my fellow ass kickers and thank you to everyone at 52nd City for the honor!

Oh, and that's the back of C-Money's Afro - I'm just saying.

Toodles!

Hit the lights, hush and it’ll be more better…

A bitch has been following the consequences of Nebraska’s Safe Haven law with great interest. Safe Haven laws are supposed to protect newborns and infants from unsafe abandonment by shielding parents from legal prosecution should they leave their child at a designated Safe Haven location. Nebraska’s law apparently does not specify an age limit and that has resulted in older children and teens being dropped off at Safe Havens.

The response to this has been fascinating. Some Nebraska lawmakers have accused parents of casually abandoning their children as if selfishness is the only reason a parent would ever utilize a Safe Haven for an older child. The media has frenzied over stories of large families being torn apart and parents driving across the country to deposit their teen at Nebraska emergency rooms.

What is lost is the window into reality that this so-called mistake offers.

Or maybe it isn’t lost.

Maybe some people want that shit to remain in darkness…out of sight and blessedly out of mind.

What they see is a law that needs to be rewritten to clarify the precise age when legal abandonment becomes illegal so parents will no longer be able to abandon older children.

What I see is an example of how society fails to meet the needs of parents, children and families and an opportunity to address that shit.

And that’s an uncomfortable thing for many Americans to confront. After all, state after state has been working feverishly to pass laws and propositions that are allegedly designed to protect families and marriage…children and society. The last thing supporters of all that paper want to hear is that they’ve moved all their troops to the western front of a war being waged in the east.

Hit the lights.

Why oh why examine the real pressures families face…poverty and the fear of hunger, homelessness and the fear of violence, mental health issues and the lack of options and so forth and so on.

Hush!

‘Tis much easier to just turn out the lights…rewrite the law and toss all those cases into a box labeled Not My Fucking Problem.

And it’ll be more better.

Right?

***cue crickets***

Shit.

Less a prank and more a symptom…

A bitch just read this article about the surge in racist acts post-election. The article is brief and describes the acts as mostly pranks that “haven't posed any real danger to society or the president-elect”.

Although this bitch agrees that there is a difference between a physical attack and someone spray painting racist graffiti on a wall, I have to disagree with whether that shit is a real danger.

Racism and bigotry eat away at society. Symbols of racism and bigotry that are not taken seriously create the feeling of freakish agreement…that other people feel the same way and that the expressions of hate is okay.

But the real power of these so-called pranks is how they jump up in a person’s head.

A cross-burned under the cloak of darkness in front of a person’s house makes the victim question every stranger…her or his neighbors…and wonder who hates them that much. The victim wonders why their house was spared and what act will be next.

So, a bitch has little tolerance for those who casually dismiss acts of hate…who try to explain them away as unfortunate jokes of youthful misbehavior.

These acts have power and that is why they are being investigated and monitored.

But ig’nant acts of hate also identify a disease in need of treatment.

They can inspire the silent to publicly voice their support and those who are skeptical that racism still exists to question that opinion.

And they can empower communities to get about the business of doing the inner work required to advance beyond hate…beyond tolerance…toward respect.

All that is possible only if folks incidents or hate for what they are…less a prank and more a symptom of something real that has been festering below the surface.

And we have miles upon miles yet to walk…

Post Prop. 8 protest reflection…

Earlier today a bitch joined 1,400 of my fellow activists in support of equality and in protest against passage of Prop. 8 in California.

It was cold as hell (shiver...wince...and shiver again) but people showed up and added their voices to the chorus calling for equality and social justice.

Fantabulous!

I was inspired to see so many young people and student activists in the crowd. These youth are fired up and ready to get active…and they give me hope for the future.

This bitch hopes that folks will stick with this and organize.

We stand on the side of justice, y’all.

And the one thing we did right was the day we started to fight.

Keep your eyes on the prize.

Hold on!

Let the defubarization begin!

A bitch is finally feeling recovered from the election rush! Missouri may still be up in the air…and Lawd knows we love to take our damn time with post-election counting sessions (wince)…but we’ve got to move on and get about the bitness of defubarization.

Pause…roll up sleeves…continue.

Shall we?

This bitch adores a good debrief. I’ve participated in many event-based things and even a successful happening has areas in need of improvement. So, I’m more than a little eager to dig under the scabs covering the wounds of soon-to-be previous administrations.

Why?

So we the people have a better understanding of just how fucked up shit was and can make the adjustments necessary to prevent that mess in the future.

Catch that knee before you hurt somebody!

No, we haven’t just spent two years doing that. Elections aren’t debriefs…they are festivals of spin where facts often get trampled.

And 'tis facts that shall set us free.

Let’s start with Missouri…’cause I live here, damnit.

Governor Matt Blunt was fucked up from the floor up on day one, but folks stopped talking about some of the specific fucktitude the second he declared his fiendish mission accomplished and took his own rancid ass off the statewide stage.

Yay.

He’s gonna get gone.

But as anxious as we all are to see the south side of a northbound Blunt, this bitch thinks we should look through the trash before it gets tossed out to make room for Governor-elect Nixon.

Governor Blunt’s administration is accused of improperly using campaign technology to communicate state business…of having no protocol for the handling of email communications…and of purging communications that may contain evidence of who the fuck knows what.

Lawsuits have been filed and investigations are on going.

On one hand a bitch would like to know why Blunt’s minions apparently got Nixonian…tricky Dick not Jeremiah…and indulged in a lot of delete, empty trash and then repeat.

I see that many flies and this bitch knows there’s a pile of bullshit somewhere.

But on the other hand, a bitch wants to understand the nature of Blunt-based fubar so I can make sure we clarify that shit for the new Governor.

The same shit applies to our federal government...and members of the outgoing crew who appear a wee bit anxious to get out the door.

Our long national nightmare may be coming to an end…

…but those who forget the shit that makes absolute fubar possible are doomed to repeat it.

This bitch and the 52nd City Kick Ass Awards...

A bitch has been nominated for a Kick Ass Award from those fantabulous folks at 52nd City!

Blink

Oh my!

***fluffs Afro***

The Fifth Annual edition of St. Louis Kick Ass Awards will be held on Thursday, November 13, with a live presentation at Joe's Café, Bill Christman's whimsical, one-of-a-kind, retro-futuristic (and booze-free) music venue in the heart of the Skinker-Debalivere neighborhood. The awards will begin at 7:00 p.m. and will run until approximately 9 p.m., with doors opening at 6:30 p.m.

The St. Louis edition of the Kick Ass Awards launched in the early winter of 2004, based on the popular Austin, TX, event begun earlier that year by writer/raconteur Spike Gillespie. Since then, nearly 70 St. Louis individuals, organizations and other entities have been honored by the publishers of 52nd City, who promote this annual event, dedicated to folks in the community who often don't get the praise they deserve… or, in other cases, folks that the publishers of 52nd City really, really dig. (For a full list of previous winners, you can check:www.kickassawards.blogspot.com.)

This bitch would like to thank the publishers of 52nd City for this...umm, kick ass honor (wink)!

Prop. 8 protest in St. Louis...

Join the Impact

Protest Prop 8 St. Louis city

On Saturday November 15 2008, across the United States cities will stand with California in a public protest regarding the recent outcome of Proposition 8.

At 12 Noon, the St. Louis community will gather at the Old Courthouse (Broadway and Market Streets) and speak out against Proposition 8 and the issues around equality and Civil Rights.

Website - http://ShowMeNoHate.blogspot.com

Join the cause, join the voice, and JOIN THE IMPACT!

A bitch hopes to see you Saturday...

Yes, they did…

A bitch is rested, y’all.

Shall we?

On Election Day millions shifted their rally cries from "Yes We Can!" to "Yes We Did!"…but not all of those folks were talking about President Elect Obama’s victory. Anti-equality activists had a series of victories over justice in California, Florida, Arizona, and Arkansas. Like thousands of equality activists across the country, I am struggling to reconcile Obama’s historic victory with the denials of equality passed into law at the same damn time.

In California anti-equality extremists funded the push that resulted in passage of Proposition 8 that bans same-sex marriage.

62% of Floridians passed the so-called “Marriage Protection Amendment,” banning all recognition of and benefits for unmarried couples, both straight and gay.

Arizona went the route of Missouri in 2004, passing Proposition 102 with 56 percent of voter and amending their state constitution to recognize marriage as limited to unions of one man and one woman. Like Missouri, same-sex marriage was already illegal in Arizona and this move is strategic to block any action through the courts.

And Arkansas voters passed the “Unmarried Couple Adoption Ban,” that makes it illegal for any unmarried couple living together in the state to adopt children or serve as foster parents. 57% of voters passed that rancid piece of shit into law. State law and the state constitution already ban same-sex marriage.

When people ask me whether the election of this nation’s first president of color means America has instantly become a more just and equal society, those are the Election Day disasters that make a bitch look at them like they’ve lost their damned mind.

But we have just begun to fight.

An injustice to one remains an injustice to all.

There will be a nationwide protest against passage of Proposition 8 Saturday November 15…I’ll post details on the St. Louis protest as soon as I get them.

And, just for kicks, a bitch would like to point out that man on woman marriage is threatened by a lot of shit…families struggle because of lots of pressures…but same-sex marriage isn’t one of them.

Missouri banned same-sex marriage in 2004…

…and if we had a dollar for every failed man on woman union or divorce filed since that ban this nation would have our motherfucking surplus back.

Blink.

Friday!

The frenzy of the last couple of weeks has caught up to me and a bitch is sluggish as hell.

A good kind of sluggish but still the mental equivalent of walking through waist deep mud.

Thank Gawd today is Friday, y'all!

I'm taking the day off from bitchitude to rest my mind so toodles until tomorrow...

Decisions, decisions and more decisions…

All manner of political talking heads are getting their speculation on over who will be appointed to what and why in the new Obama Administration.

A bitch would like to explore the challenge of deciding shit through one key selection about to be made…the choosing of the First Dawg.

A bitch is always amazed by how many people select their canine companions based on looks. I know people who purchased designer dawgs because the breed was in fashion…or they liked how the dawg's coat matched their décor…or they just wanted something they could fit in their handbag.

But dawgs have personalities…just like people. And, just as we should not select a cabinet member simply because they have an impressive resume, we should not select a canine companion just because they are the breed of the moment or have been bio-engineered not to bark at the mail-person.

I’m serious!

What if the soon-to-be First Family wound up with a dawg that they selected because it didn’t shed only to find out that it had a history of doubting the metal abilities of women and may or may not have created an atmosphere of extreme tension during it’s tenure at a certain Ivy League university?

Blink.

They might not have to deal with the allergies inspired by pet dander, but just think about the other drama they'd get in exchange!

Sigh.

Anyhoo, a bitch recommends that everyone consider canine adoption carefully and weigh the realities of their lifestyle with the potential dawg's personality and temperament.

Start at local shelters…ask if fostering is available…and be prepared for pee in the residence since a bitch is certain the scent of Barney’s legacy will linger for years to come.

...when we the people make it happen.

A bitch is still struggling to put into words what I am feeling right now.

I must confess that I didn’t believe an Obama win was possible until they called it on the telly (Brother Rob Thurman was quick to call a bitch and remind me that he was right…and I’m thrilled enough to take that shit graciously).

I’m going to relish this indescribable feeling today…allow my soul to fill with the emotion of knowing that my Father, may he rest in peace, would be so thrilled that he lived to witness this…and let my sore as hell feet heal a bit (wince).

But tomorrow we begin.

President Elect Obama inherits a towering mass of drama and the daunting task of dealing with it.

And our work…the work of social justice…begins today.

Elections give us tools that we call politicians. It is our job to use the hell out of them…to hold them accountable and to work with them to bring about change.

So get your party on, y’all.

As soon as Missouri finishes the count (Lawd, have mercy…get it done, people!!) and bitch will dust my Afro off and get to it.

Because this moment…these twilightesque weeks between Election Day and inaugurations…is when major shit goes down.

We have not reached the mountaintop, however exciting this historic moment may be.

With many states passing inequality into law…with so many in economic peril…with our nation still at war…and with reproductive justice still under attack…we have a lot of work to do.

And you’d better believe this bitch is fired up and ready to go!

Change happens…

…when we the people make it happen.

Been walking the walk...

Literally.

Sorry for the delay, y'all!

This bitch has been getting my canvass on with a certain Michele and Alison from Planned Parenthood Affiliates in Missouri (see, I told you I'd give you a shout-out...wink)...and then I put in another round with my good friend Ryan who charmed me out of my exhausted funk.

A nod of the Afro to my fellow activists...you are amazing.

Anyhoo, Happy Election Day!

I hope everyone took the time to savor the beauty of the vote. Enjoy the moment and know that this right was won through the courage and actions of many who are no longer with us.

As I drove to meet my fellow canvassers this morning...and we're talking serious morning, people (wince)...I cruised by a polling place on Delmar and saw a line that led all the way down the sidewalk.

I can't remember the last time I saw a line at a polling place in the city.

Fantabulous!

A bitch is off for my final round.

Feet tired.

Soul inspired.

A bitch’s vote-based request…

This bitch got my absentee vote on last week!

I’m scheduled to work polls in the county on Election Day, so my city-based self needed to take care of my patriotic duty early!

Longtime readers know that I adore voting but I’d never voted absentee before. I was a wee bit worried that it wouldn’t be the same…that it would lack the emotional rush I get when I vote on Election Day. But as I filled out my ballot the rush was there…the thrill of finally being able to make my choices official and doing so in a crowd of fellow voters…it was fantabulous!

But many of y’all will head to the polls Tuesday November 4th and this bitch wants to make a simple request of you.

***steps up onto soapbox***

Ahem.

With all the frenzified anticipation surrounding the presidential race it is easy to forget that there is a lot of other shit…a lot of very important other shit…on the ballot.

State Senate races, State Rep. races...here in Missouri we have the Governor’s race and the A.G. race, proposals and initiatives...and so forth and so on.

Those of us who have worked our asses off on state campaigns need voters to complete the ballot!

Mmmhmmm, y’all need to commit to finishing it…flip it over and work your way down to the bottom (blink) …COMPLETE IT, DAMN IT!

Pause…collect self…continue.

In the words of the SOS Band…baby we can do it!

Take the time.

Do it right.

***steps down off of soapbox with that song stuck in my Afro***

Pondering the absence of the Queen of Rancidity…

A bitch has been working the front lines of this election battle in Missouri and this battleground shit is fierce! I keep telling myself that there will be time enough for sleep after November 4th.

Sigh.

Anyhoo, I couldn’t fall asleep last night and this bitch found my thoughts wandering to the current line-up of political pundits getting their talk on.

And it hit me that Ann Coulter has been missing in action.

Blink.

The last time a bitch saw the Queen of Rancidity on television she was vowing to vote for anyone but McCain.

Where for art thou Ann?

Don’t get me wrong…this Coulterless election season has been refreshing as a motherfucker. And its not as if others haven’t picked up the nastification slack in her absence.

I know that she’s still churning out outrageous shit somewhere, but a bitch hasn’t been assaulted by her presence on morning television for months. Mayhap the faithful aren’t buying her brand of chili the way they used to.

Pause…consider…continue.

Could it be that a new version of the Republican ‘fear the other and resist reality’ brand is being developed during this election cycle?

I was so sure Coulter would emerge when the Edwards sex scandal broke since she adores hating on all things Edwards…but, if she held a party a bitch sure as shit didn’t see anything about it.

‘Tis a mystery, for sure.

And a bitch wonders if the absence of Coulter, even as the presidential campaign dissolves into the kind of fear-based revival of the Red Scare that she’d usually be all over like a fly on shit, signals the emergence of a changing of the guard in the social conservative ig’nant rhetoric club.

Bitch may not be the new black…

…but mayhap Elizabeth Hasselbeck is the new Coulter.

Pondering the single party rule argument…

Shall we?

A bitch has noticed that a certain Senator McCain in making the argument that all hell will break lose if Democrats control Congress and the Executive Branch. He hopes to score votes by whipping up fear of single party rule.

Interesting decision…particularly when the most recent example of a majority gone wrong hails from the Republicans.

But we don’t vote for parties.

We vote for candidates.

‘Tis true that we often cast our vote for one candidate because we are against another candidate...but outside of each base people spread their vote around.

In every state of the union people are being overwhelmed with pitches from individuals who sorta agree with the policy positions of one party or another. Here in Missouri we’ve got candidates running statewide who never even mention their party affiliation. A bitch suspects that has something to do with the general state level disgust for all things republican and the fact that we no longer have the option of voting a straight ticket.

Political commercials follow a basic formula – I’m for this, that and the other but I get mavericky over that, this and this other shit so you can trust me even though you don’t trust the political party that shall not be mentioned.

Pause…consider…continue.

It appears to me that McCain’s tactic-esque strategy of getting the fear of handing Dems the keys to the store and the alarm code too vote is headed for a collision with the ballot. His hopes may reside in the fact that 'president' is still the first decision voters make…but he runs the risk of reminding undecided voters that some of their indecision results from the trauma leveled by the last party that held all the keys and raided the fuck out of the pantry.

Blink.

Update - Urgent! Missing Child - Julian King...

Update - It appears that a body found inside the missing SUV is Julian.

May he rest in peace...

The nephew of actress Jennifer Hudson (Julian King) is still missing after the weekend murder of Hudson’s mother and brother in Chicago.

Hudson and her family have offered a $100,000 reward.

Please click here and read the Amber Alert information about Julian King.

Julian is a black male, 7 years old, 4 feet 11 inches tall, 130 pounds, with black hair and brown eyes, wearing a brown polo shirt with stripes and khaki pants.

If you see Julian or have any information about this case call 9-1-1 and advise that they have an Amber Alert for him.

Shame, shame and double shame…

A bitch went to Parkway schools.

As a matter of fact, I spent the bulk of my educational life in the Parkway system.

That was some 20 years ago (wince) and a bitch liked to hope that the bigot-based bullying that I endured during my time there had gone the way of the campus smoking lounge.

But news that five students have been suspended from Parkway West Middle School for hitting Jewish students as part of Hit a Jew Day…well, that just makes me sick.

Some students were hit on the back.

One student was slapped in the face.

Just sick!

Clearly this incident should be a wake up call to Parkway, but it really needs to be a wake up call to the community too.

I can’t imagine what I’d do if I got a call saying my child had hit or slapped another student as part of…ugh!

Shit.

This isn’t about tolerance.

This is about respect.

And if they’re going to haul students into an auditorium for sessions on diversity they need to make damn sure they haul their parents in for the same fucking sessions.

Fuck it, spring for a semester.

Damn it.

Sigh.

My thoughts are with the students subjected to this mess and their families.

Debunked!

This bitch woke up at the crack of dawn...wince...and caught the news item about the woman in Pittsburgh who claimed that she, a campaign worker for McCain, had been mugged at knife point and assaulted by the carving of a “B” into her cheek because her alleged assailant (a black man, natch) was offended by the McCain sticker on her car.

Blink.

I’ve been getting my campaign on all day and missed the news…so I just checked in on this story and discovered that the woman has now admitted to making the story up.

Blink once again.

This bitch was skeptical from jump.

Didn’t the backward “B” give anyone pause?

Mercy.

But a bitch wishes the woman speedy recovery from all that ails her…

…and I hope this isn’t a sign of the drama to come as the campaign enters its final stage.