Thursday, April 12, 2007

By request - The language of bitchitude...

A certain Junkshow requested that a bitch provide a cheat sheet to the language of bitchitude for newish readers and…well, why the hell not!

Bitchitude…the mastery of one’s inner bitch expressed through attitude, extreme realness and authentic emotion.

C-Money…my beloved sister and realness regulator.

Bill…my adored older brother and expert autist.

Betsey the sorta-beagle…my sorta-beagle.

Thelonious (Theo) the BayMaster…um, our newest sorta-beagle and hound who bays loudly.

Sweetie/Schwet/Sweeting the three legged Chow…C-Money’s dawg and my dawg niece See also, a three legged Chow saved by the fantabulous folks at Stray Rescue!

My Play Husband…my Play Husband is my Play Husband, musical guru (mmmhmm, don’t fuck with the tenured!!) and faithful member of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks

His Pontifical Greatness Brother Rob Thurman…my blog father, soul brother and co-founder of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks.

Vodka Cran…my beloved chil’ren who reside in the land of the live journals (hugs)

vodka crans…a bitch’s preferred drink of ice followed by vodka (Swedish or Russian) followed cranberry juice. No lime (sorry Crete…but you know I’ve got nothing but love for you).

Smothered goodness…Lawd, if you have to ask! A bitch adores soul food and specifically smothered pork/chicken/anything.

Miss SisterGirl Cabrio…a bitch’s much abused vehicle.

Miss SisterGirl Mac Book…my Mac Book.

Meds…a bitch does like my pills. Sudafed (though I have given up the juice for the faux), Excedrin, Advil (because my leg still pains me) and…umm, well I do like my pills.

How I take my coffee…2 teaspoons Splenda and a dash o’ organic milk.

The United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks…life is your ministry and the church is life. Go forth and do not trifle. Let the flock say amen!

Did I miss anything?

Oh yes, why do I refer to myself as a bitch?

Why not?

Just kidding. I actually refer to myself as a bitch or this bitch in the real world too (wink)…but I never claimed to be right in the head.

And in conclusion...

Potty mouth language…oh, there are so many "wrong" words. Shit, fuck, motherfucker, bitch, asshole, stank assed motherfuckers, murder, assault, abuse, genocide, hunger, war, homelessness, neglect and FEMA to name a few.



Maya's Granny said...

Although I don't refer to myself as a bitch, I do talk about my inner bitch and am glad she won the battle with my inner nun.

Anonymous said...

You are undeniably fantastic!!!

J said...

I've been around long enough to know most of this, but I love it just the same.

Jeffrey Ricker said...

So when do I rate an entry in they glossary? (wink)

TwinsGoddess said...

I'm glad to see that Theo is still on the roster. Is he no longer "temporary"?

Junkshow said...

Yay ABB! Thanks so much.
You made THIS Bitch's day.
I've been so swamped, I haven't checked you out in awhile.
Just finished my taxes (Paying the Man?)and so I'm checking your blog before going back to work.

Anytheways, Gimme an inch and I'll take a
can't you include the glossary as a permanent feature on your blog -- on the side, like a Blogroll? It'll help your acolytes spread your word...


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