Wednesday, February 14, 2007

A vague recollection of political shit from the other day...

A bitch caught some of the political news yesterday as I drifted in and out of my Ebola haze and…well, maybe it was the drugs (legally purchased and totally over the counter…though they were so potent a bitch had to check the label my damned self)…but it seemed to me that the Republicans are having some litmus test awkward question tossed about too.

Folks may be asking whether Obama is black enough or whether Hill is liberal enough or whether Edwards is Huey P. Long enough (wink) on the Democratic side…but a bitch heard a lot of is he anti-gay enough, anti-abortion enough or Christian as defined by me myself and I enough on the Republican side yesterday.

It was startling enough to break through my Ebola haze!

And just as our questions say a lot about who the base is on the Democratic side their questions say a lot about who they are.

If the post-Romney announcement reaction is any indication, things are about to get nasty as hell in elephant territory.

ABB’s Vague Recollection of Political Shit from the other day…

Governor Huckabee is in…and a former Southern Baptist preacher who is anti-choice and anti-gay, but lacks the bite the base looks for in a candidate. He…well, he just doesn’t hate enough. Rather Hucks gives some thoughtful and cautious response to try to explain why a fellow citizen should be denied the rights of other citizens.

Bitchitude Analysis– may have a chance, but one rabid orator in the field and his ass is toast.

Mitt of the ever changing Romney’s is in…and trying to explain why he flipped on abortion rights and then flopped on gay marriage, saying one thing to get elected as Governor of Mass. then pulling a u-turn when confronted with the Evangelical base.

Current media spin – will Evangelicals be able to gather ‘round a Mormon…who may or may not believe in a woman’s right to choose…and who may or may not still have a gay friend.

Bitchitude Analysis – I though Mormon’s are anti-choice? Shit, someone may want to confirm whether Romney really is a Mormon! He may be a Manchurian Candidate sent from…umm, Michigan to take over and force us all to say pop instead of soda.

Or is it soda instead of pop?


Rudy G is in…sort of…well, he’d like a re-take so he can get some press coverage.

Rudy G. is pro-choice…unless it’ll cost him the nomination. He’s pro-gay marriage…unless we’re talking a deal breaker. And he’s all for traditional family values…as long as that’s non-binding and either party can exit should they spy a better piece of…we’ll call it “tradition”…at the office.

Bitchitude Analysis – Rudy G. is popular but I can’t figure out why. But an announcement and a shit load of money can go a long way.


This may have been when I passed out on the couch.


The way I see it, the Republicans have a couple of litmus tests on their side of the field.

Mitt Romney’s candidacy may finally bring about the national debate on religion and why all Christian aren’t the same which is why people end up killing each other which is the ever loving reason why the state and religion should not mate…gasp…that this bitch has been calling for!

Or it may expose a dark side of faith by showing those who profess to love their neighbor calling others cult members…and questioning their worthiness whilst judging them unfit and…oh Lawd…un-Christian!


Whilst Rudy G.’s candidacy…if he stays popular and able to attract large amounts of cash…will challenge the whole game. If he changes his stance, how will the same base that masturbated to Flip-Flop ads reconcile granting him their vote? If he sticks to his guns, how will the base reconcile voting for the guy who could win in the face of voting their values?

The RNC they say they are (Brownback-ish with a panderific McCain tossed in for spice) may be about to go to war with the RNC they are (a big tent whose recent losses have turned the lights on in the gym and those dance partners aren’t looking as hot as they once were).


Shit, this may bring us all together...


Anonymous said...

gurl...smoking and reading your blog is a great combo! lova ya'

Digi Rebel said...

I sincerely love your site, you've definitely got some readers here in good ole central Illinois. We have another thing in common, besides our politics and bitchatude, my grandson is autistic, also deaf. He lives in Jacksonville, goes to the school for the deaf, who I might add, haven't a clue how to handle his autism, understand it, or even attempt to understand it. His mom,
our daughter, is having one hell of a time. I'll keep you posted on that cluster f... thanks so much for blogging, always a good read. Cindy

TheWickedWoman said...

If left up to evangelical Christians there would be a theocratic dictatorship complete with jackbooted, bible-carrying stormtroopers ready to imprison anyone who did anything that even might conflict with the almighty Holy Word. And then there's Mitt Romney, the Latter-Day Saint.

I admit it: I think the Mormon religion is weird. It is based on some guy's supposed revelation and an inspired talk with the J-man himself. They wear strange underwear and are always prepared for the coming apocalypse with food, water and other survivalist gear. Hell, they were survivalists before there was even a name for them!

Mormon leaders have a habit of very convenient revelations whenever it is in their self-interest. For example, the only reason they officially gave up their practice of polygamy is because it was costly fighting off the army out there in Utah and because doing so would get them admitted into the United States. Since then, the LSD has at least given lip-service to their abandonment of the practice when, in reality, there are still hundreds of thousands of people who still engage in plural marriage. A former friend who lived in Salt Lake when I visited in the early 90s pointed out the houses that, at first, looked like larger, upper middle class single-family homes. However, upon closer inspection, could be seen to really be two-family homes--one side for each of the man's two families. Of course, the LDS claims ignorance and threatens excommunication. In reality, they know and turn a blind eye unless they have no choice.

Then there was the revelation about black folks. You see, until the 1970s, black men were considered unfit for the priesthood. You have to understand that all males are eligible for priesthood unless they're gay and, until recently, black. The revelation came when the Feds said they'd cut off all federal funds to Brigham Young University because it discriminated. Since the LDS couldn't have that, their representative of Jesus on earth had a revelation. Suddenly, it was ok to be black. Now, blacks and other people of color are the fastest growing segment within the Mormon church.

So, you see, Mitt Romney isn't alone in his revelations. They are institutionalized within his religion. Just as it is convenient for his political career to have changed his mind about gay rights and abortion, it was convenient for other Mormons to change their minds about whatever it was that was getting them into trouble. Hey, maybe he's one of those earthly saints the LDS favor so much!

Unknown said...

Drat! The Michigan conspiracy to force everyone to say "pop" and "You guys" has been exposed! Now we're all going to have to flee to the UP and say things like "you betcha" and "cold 'nuff fer ya" all day long!

Shark-Fu said...

I knwe it!

See, y'all think a bitch is crazy with my theories.

Soda, soda, soda!

Or soda pop in a pinch...

Rick Strellman said...

Always peeping your blog and you have always been very entertaining. This theory made me choke on my coffee. LOL! Great post, always a pleasure.

Spring, Ph.D. said...

Rudy G.'s popularity stems solely from his response to 9-11. I'll willingly admit that he responded as well as anyone could have to that situation.

Unfortunately, everything leading up to that moment was...well, less than positive. If not for 9-11, he would have left office with a seriously low approval rating. Since then, he's just been riding the wave...

I suppose he's the perfect candidate for the presidency -- unless you're low-income, hungry, homeless, want to go to college, etc, etc.

AOB said...

Actually the two Romney scenarios you presented will occur within the 'christian community'. I am for a complete secularization of the political process. I do not vote for a candidate that makes abortion or gay rights a part of their platform. Expect to see the 'dark side' of the christian community as well.

If Romney is the Republican candidate the church will certainly show herself badly and I for one will not vote for Romney no matter what he says about whatever hes talking about. He does not have even a vague notion what what he does or does not believe.

Francis Holland said...

Hi, Angry!

Did you know?

Al Gore had a TWO chances to get a graduate school education, but he decided to get high instead. That's why Gore says he "attended" Vanderbilt University law and divinity schools instead of saying that he "graduated".

Could a Black person or a woman get away with this and still apply to be President of the United States?

So, if anyone tells you they just want the "best man for the job", then tell them that Al Gore is less qualified because while others were graduating with honors, Al Gore was smoking marijuana and failed graduate school completely.

Shark-Fu said...

Interesting Francis...but did a bitch mention Al Gore?


And that logic assumes that the graduate school makes one more qualified...which just doesn't hold water for me since I know too many folks with graduate degrees (wink).

But hey, thanks for sharing!

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