Monday, April 18, 2005

Queen of the White-girl Sassy Bobs.......

I was just confronted by the realization that Michael Jackson may go to jail. Really, it just hit me! I'm sitting at my desk popping Sudafed because the fucking pollen has decided to spawn all over this cursed city and.....FUCK ME..... Michael may go to the Big House!

Things will change, but the central question no one is talking about is......who will take over the thrown as Queen of the White-Girl Sassy Bobs?

Since evolving from the Afro through the Curl into the present day white-girl sassy bob, Michael has been on top of his shit hair-wise. I mean, the man's hair was maintained even after he burned half of it off! But nothing compares to the present day white girl sassy-bob. Sistahs will understand immediately. See, "white-girl" hair is the pinnacle of "the process" (see Black hair care products) - when it moves and shakes and you can fuckin' flip it like....well.....a white-girl. This takes time, dedication and a stylist on call! What will become of Michael's white-girl sassy bob if he goes to jail? Who will take the mantle of the unnaturally straight and long Black person's hair?

Whitney has a tired-ass weave and, when in rehab, a poorly matched crack 'ho-ish wig. Janet.....where to start? How can a Black woman with more money than God have a "noticeable" weave? It's gotten better lately, but the verdict is still out. Jada....I just don't know - it was too long to be real in Collateral, wasn't it. And it has to be real or appear real or at least be a length grow-able within 6 months, doesn't it? Jada's shit is tight, but not entirely believable.

Yes, chil'rens......I'm afraid it's true.

When Michael goes to jail.......Oprah will take the thrown as Queen of the white-girl sassy bobs.

Flip it girl!

Flip it like you was born with it!!


Anonymous said...

You may already be aware of this, but if not, it seems your girl Katie is up to no good.

Tiger Lilly said...

You have to admit it, Oprah's hair is ALWAYS bouncy and happy. Remember Regina King when she was on 227? Her hair used to be tight, buy I'm not quite sure what happened.

I don't think he's going to jail. He'll kill himself first. The method is anyone's guess, but he's not going to let anyone tear him a new one.

princessdominique said...

Yep, Oprah's hair is quite loveilicious and Regina King yeah I think she was freshly permed on 227. I did spot her in a fabulous pair of shoes at the Oscars. I'll post the photo later this week. And um, yeah, Michael's going to jail fer sure.

disgruntled said...

Like tiger lilly said, mike WONT be seeing a jailhouse. He'll OD on some sleeping pills and Jesus juice first.

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