Wednesday, April 20, 2005

A moment of clarity PLEASE!

Okay, let's all take a deep breath. Hold it........And release! Now, say along with ABB......

"The Whole World Has Lost It's Fucking Mind!"!

Ahhh, let the healing begin!

I stumbled across this shit while waiting for an invoice to print. Now, as the grand daughter, daughter, niece and cousin of Veterans and service men and women (let's hear it for the girls!) I'm pretty supportive of Veteran's rights even when I don't support the war. Actually, one of the reasons I adore Jane Fonda is that her opposition to the Vietnam War was not directed towards individual soldiers but rather towards McNamara and his nasty little theoretical exercise, otherwise known as Viet-fucking-nam.

As a Missourian, my heart sank to read that we have sunk so deep into the belly of Red-State-dom that natives would chew tobacco just to spit it into the face of Jane Fonda. It gets better.....this asshole doesn't even chew tobacco; he chewed it just to spit it on Ms. Barbarella! Now come on people! Get a fucking grip! We've moved on to bomb at least four additional third world countries and you're still pissed off enough to spit in a woman's face! Okay....I'll accept that you may be fired-up enough to feel compelled to spit. Here are some tobacco worthy faces you should hunt down instead of the fantabulous Ms. Fonda.

Motherfuckers More Worthy of Tobacco Spit Than Jane Fonda
  1. Robert S. McNamara, Former Secretary of Defense and architect of the Vietnam War. Hey Scooter! Grab the packet of chew and hunt this asshole down. See, he actually came up with the War, mis-led Congress to fund it and then lied to two Presidents to cover up his MASSIVE fuck up. Feeling pissed? He's your guy.
  2. The French, known for fierce colonial enforcement of Frenchness. Can't find McNamara? Catch a plane to Paris! See, the French were knee deep in Vietnam (then Indochina) long before we dove in. They managed to rile up the locals and oppress them into a pro-Communist state, thus laying the groundwork for the pissed off motherfucker who took a shot at your ass in '67. Okay, so they abandoned the joint before it all went to shit......they still played a large part in destabilizing the region and pissing folks off. Spit away! Just don't hit the pastries.
  3. Lyndon B. Johnson. I know he's dead, but Lady Bird still lives. She's been defending him for years and that kind of loyalty basically makes her spit worthy. I mean, if you're going to be pissed at Fonda after 37 years, what's to keep you from spitting on a 98-year-old former First Lady? Don't store up too much juice and only spit once. Jesus, she's old okay! But her huuuuusband looked reality in the eye and told it to go fuck itself, thus tumbling the Nation into the shit spiral now reflected on The Wall. Be careful.....ladies are fully armed in Texas. And mind that you don't get spit on any Beagles.

I'm sorry that you were drafted and shipped off to fight a meaningless war for a bunch of money hungry pseudo-intellectuals whose real agenda was to grow the military industrial complex. But get your ass under control! Do as I pissed at the government and the dumbassed average citizens who vote their bible rather than their conscience. And you'd better pray your dumb ass never tries to spit on me.....

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