UCSD Teach-In is today and the home training fail that inspired it...

So sorry for the delay in posting this, y'all!

As you may already know, a group of UCSD students executed a rare synchronized home training fail of massive proportions when they decided to post the following Facebook message to UCSD’s Greek Community “in honor of Black History Month.”

Description
February marks a very important month in American society. No, i'm not referring to Valentines day or Presidents day. I'm talking about Black History month. As a time to celebrate and in hopes of showing respect, the Regents community cordially invites you to its very first Compton Cookout.
For guys: I expect all males to be rockin Jersey's, stuntin' up in ya White T (XXXL smallest size acceptable), anything FUBU, Ecko, Rockawear, High/low top Jordans or Dunks, Chains, Jorts, stunner shades, 59 50 hats, Tats, etc.
For girls: For those of you who are unfamiliar with ghetto chicks-Ghetto chicks usually have gold teeth, start fights and drama, and wear cheap clothes - they consider Baby Phat to be high class and expensive couture. They also have short, nappy hair, and usually wear cheap weave, usually in bad colors, such as purple or bright red.
They look and act similar to Shenaynay, and speak very loudly, while rolling their neck, and waving their finger in your face. Ghetto chicks have a very limited vocabulary, and attempt to make up for it, by forming new words, such as "constipulated", or simply cursing persistently, or using other types of vulgarities, and making noises, such as "hmmg!", or smacking their lips, and making other angry noises,grunts, and faces.
The objective is for all you lovely ladies to look, act, and essentially take on these "respectable" qualities throughout the day.
Several of the regents condos will be teaming up to house this monstrosity, so travel house to house and experience the various elements of life in the ghetto.
We will be serving 40's, Kegs of Natty, dat Purple Drank- which consists of sugar, water, and the color purple , chicken, coolade, and of course Watermelon. So come one and come all, make ya self before we break ya self, keep strapped, get yo shine on, and join us for a day party to be remembered- or not.

Pause...allow time for the full insult of that rancidity to settle in…continue.

UCSD’s Chancellor, Marye Anne Fox, has invited students, staff and faculty to participate in a teach-in TODAY from noon to 2 p.m. in the Price Center East Ballroom to “explore how such incidents continue to occur today and to discuss the importance of mutual respect and civility on our campus.”

My take on this shit?

The home training fail may be a shameful reminder of just how not post- racial American society is…but I think holding a teach-in to address that mess is a fantabulous way to honor black history.

A bitch hopes that the students who need to be there show up, listen and share…

…because a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Blink.

Remembering Vernon Hunter…

Shall we?

When I watched footage of the massive fire consuming an office building in Austin Texas last week after a domestic terrorist flew a plane into it, my first thought was to hope no one other than the pilot was hurt.

That was, tragically, not the case.

Vernon Hunter, a Vietnam veteran who served two tours of duty…husband and father and friend to many…was murder by Joe Stack when Joe Stack decided to vent his frustrations at all things not in his control by flying a plane into an office building in Austin Texas.

That the good Lord saw fit to limit the loss of life is little comfort to Vernon Hunter’s family…or to his colleagues, who have been terrorized by both the terrorist attack and the disturbing celebration/validation of that attack by everyone from conservative pundits to the junior Senator from Massachusetts.

I take no comfort and find no cause for celebration in the murder of a man who served this nation at war and at peace.

I find no grand statement within the terrorist act that took the life of a beloved husband and father.

Last week’s attack has been lauded by many who aren’t complex enough to be anti-government…’tis more accurate to say they are anti the current administration. They seek to celebrate Stack because this terrorist was American, wrote a manifesto decrying his torture at the hands of [insert government agency here] and that happens to freakishly fit how some folks define a hero.

But in my world, Vernon Hunter is a hero…not because of how he died but because of how he lived.

Yeah, I'm going to remember Vernon Hunter...Vietnam veteran, husband, father and grandfather.

And may God give comfort to those who mourn his loss...

Team USA Wins! - A bitch's birthday surprise!!

Update - A bitch just paused and considered and the Team USA men's hockey win over Team Canada still kicks major birthday present ass this morning.

Continue!

Wink.


Holy Mother of Gawd!

Team USA just beat Team Canada in Olympic ice hockey...in a preliminary round game.

Blink.

Happy birthday to me, damn it.

Woo hoo!

Head Cold Robustus Coughitus Nastificus with a touch of Ebola…

Oh…my…gods.

A bitch’s sinuses have been taken over by an alien life force…some sort of evil parasite that requires host nasal passages to thrive!

I’m on day four of this shit…better than yesterday but still fucked up from the floor up.

Ugh.

One good thing are the meds. My daytime meds are boring as hell…’cause I have to avoid happy pills that may elevate my blood pressure and instead ingest the American Heart Association endorsed pills that sorta address the rancidity in my snout but not really ad certainly not with that extra zing I used to get from the good shit.

Sigh.

Oh, but the nighttime meds are an absolute joy! Fantabulous, I tell you! A bitch was seeing double last night…for reals, it was WILD…hell, I was sooooo out of it I thought I saw Team Canada almost lose to Team Switzerland in men’s ice hockey!

Pause…listen to information Betsey the sorta-beagle whispers into a bitch's ear…continue.

Cough.

Um, okay…so, apparently Team Canada did almost lose to Team Switzerland (not that the Swiss aren’t good and stuff...but damn.)

Betsey tells me that the game came down to a shoot-out and that kid Sid had to shoot twice to close the deal!

Oh my.

Anyhoo, as you can tell a bitch is highly medicated and unable to distinguish reality from the funny random shit floating through the purple haze in my Afro…and one should not blog in this condition.

“Hey beagle, is Tiger Woods really gonna speak to the world at 10am CST or are those the meds talkin’ again?”

Wince.

Toodles ‘til wellness…

Illish but not too illish to get my lobby on!

A bitch has a cold.

It has settled in my head-based area.

Ugh!

Yeah, well...shit.

Sigh.

I may be ill but I’m not too ill to get my lobby on…

…so, I shall be traveling to Jefferson City today to do just that!

Toodles ‘til later.

Sniffle.

John Mayer’s penis is not post-racial…

Several folks have asked a bitch to comment about John Mayer’s penis and it’s white supremacist behavior.

I could have lived my entire life happy as hell without the image of John Mayer’s penis sporting a white hood during a Klan rally.

Wince.

But lots of folks have been talking about Mayer’s bigoted penis…and his home training fail interview for Playboy in which he indulged in a session of TMI disclosures above and beyond his confession that his penis is not post-racial.

A confession – A bitch could be behind John Mayer at the Walgreens and my ass wouldn’t recognize him.

And a question - If a frustrated failed blues guitarist who is unable to handle the success of his soft rock career, because he hasn’t let go of the unrealistic Slowhand fantasy he developed while attending Berklee, has a home training fail in the forest did it really even happen?

Blink.

***logs off to purge the sound of Mr. Say What You Need to Say’s music from my Afro with a dose of B. B. King followed by a dash of Buddy Guy***

A bitch’s article on WOC & the anti choice focus on eugenics…

A certain Anonymous asked for my thoughts on those Black Children are an Endangered Species billboards that went up in Georgia.

I was already working on an article on anti-choicers and their focus on eugenics for Black History Month…so, I’ll direct interested Anonymouses to that piece over at RH Reality Check.

Thanks for asking.

Celebrating 5 years of practicing the fine art bitchitude!

A bitch is celebrating the five-year anniversary of this damn blog today!

Pause…listen to applause and shouts of joy (wink)…continue.

Mmmhmm, that’s five years of this bitch practicing the fine art of bitchitude online.

It’s hard to believe that five years have passed since Brother Rob Thurman gave me a blog as a birthday present (my birthday is actually on the 22nd)…and this has been the gift that keeps on gifting. Many thanks and oodles of appreciation to Brother Rob for a fabillion trillion things, including the gift of online bitchitude!

Anyhoo, longtime readers know that this bitch adores the month of February. My blog anniversary and my birthday both fall in this month…plus TCM runs all of those classic Oscar winning films that I can capture through the magic of TiVo. Hell yes, February is all that with a pepper on the side!

I don’t ask for personal presents…though I’m tempted since my ass is broke (wince).

Pause…offer up lamentations to the gods of personal finances…continue.

Instead, I’d like for folks to please donate to organizations that I support and/or do my volunteer work with…trust a bitch, even a small donations goes a long way to making a real difference in the lives of so many people.

This month (yeah, yeah I know I’m late in posting this shit…shit)…ahem…this February I’m gonna ask y’all to dig into your pocketbooks and support some worthy organizations.

This week’s organization is SAGE Metro St. Louis!

SAGE Metro St. Louis is new to St. Louis…and very much in need. SAGE is dedicated to serving the needs of LGBT older adults in our community. From support groups, care-giver support and social events…referrals for services by open and accepting providers, community education and advocacy…and so much more – SAGE is there to meet needs too long left unaddressed in the community.

So, I’m asking y’all to support the work of SAGE…give as you can and if you are so moved – know that I truly appreciate whatever you can do!

Thank you for helping me get my blog anniversary celebration on.

Thank you for reading a bitch’s posts.

And thank you for keeping it real and practicing the fine art of bitchitude your damn selves!

Hold please...

A bitch has a deadline...

...so bitchitude will be on hold until tonight.

Toodles for now!

The day after the big game...

Hi y’all!

Okay, so this bitch caught the big game yesterday. It had everything – anticipation, two elite teams prepared to give it their all and a sold out crowd on hand to watch that shit!

And Lawd knows the actual game lived up to the hype…the intensity was out of this world and by the time the lead changed hands a bitch was on the edge of my seat!

Mmmhmm, that Caps v. Pens hockey game was all that and a bowl of grits!

Blink.

What?

Oh yeah, and congrats to the New Orleans Saints on that Super Bowl win (wink).

Moving forward…

A bitch did watch the Super Bowl commercials…I missed the infamous Focus on the Family ad because I was too busy focusing on frying up some catfish for my family.

But yeah, I caught most of the commercials and…well, um…one would think that they were created for a Cage Fighting championship rather than a football game that is watched by both women and men.

There were some good ads…but there was also a disturbing theme of emasculated men and the products that will save them.

Jezebel has a post up about it.

A bitch is curious –what the fuck, ad people?

I’m serious…a bitch is eager to know what research and analysis resulting in this year’s crop of man as victim ads.

***cue crickets***

Yeah….right….get back to me on that, why don’tcha.

Blink.

By request, Cynthia Davis’ latest verbal malfunction…

A certain Tamara from Rolla has asked a bitch for my thoughts on Missouri State Rep. Cynthia Davis’ latest verbal malfunction.

I assume you are referring to her thoughts on the nutritional habits of black people that she was kind enough to share with a woman of color testifying during a recent House Health Care Policy Committee meeting.

That meeting where she referred to “your people” and “your community” while addressing the witness, right?

Right.

Fired Up Missouri reports that Davis, well known for her opinion that hunger is a positive motivator for children, said something close to, "We should revamp the food stamp program so people who get food stamps can't buy junk food like potato chips and chocolate milk"...while she was eating potato chips herself.

Sigh.

Tamara from Rolla, what can a bitch say to that shit?

Cynthia Davis averages a verbal malfunction a week while the Missouri legislature is in session.

That’s what she does.

I’ve decided that her continued platform as a Rep. who apparently wants to be a State Senator says more about those who vote for her than the woman herself.

Clearly a majority of her constituents want Cynthia Davis to average a verbal malfunction a week during session.

I can’t figure out why they want that shit…but I get the message.

Pause…consider…continue.

Chocolate milk and potato chips?

Lawd, have mercy…

Keep on talkin’…

Shall we?

A bitch just caught a wee bit of the coverage from the current Tea Party Convention going on. Apparently there’s more than one party formed around tea in this country (who knew?) but the one currently getting sorta-coverage is having a convention.

Former Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo kicked off the convention with a rousing speech that contained the following statement…

“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote’ or say it in English put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House.”

Oh my, this shit is gonna be better than anticipated!

I was going to address that shit point by ig’nant point but…damn it if Tancredo didn’t go so far to the right of standard ig’nance that a bitch doesn’t even feel the need to address it.

I mean, shit…now might be the time for liberals to go silent and let these people talk themselves to the ground!

When I factor in that there are more than one of these Tea Party parties about…and they’ll also want to get their convention on…and they may even produce their own candidates who will go around the nation saying this kind of shit on a regular basis…well, damn it all – Democrats so don’t deserve this bounty from on high.

And these parties of tea haven’t even gotten to insulting women…calling for the dissolution of public school education…demanding Sovereignty for each state in the union (and can I tell you, nothing is more amusing that watching these folks kick off a rally with the Pledge of Allegiance then indulge in an hour or two of Sovereignty porn)…or going off on former GOP super-stars for not being conservative enough!

Chil’ren, sometimes a body has to yield the floor to the fool for the masses to see him for the fool that he is.

Carry on, National Tea Party people!

Carry the fuck on!

Dearest Graydon...we need to talk.

Dearest Graydon Carter of the Vanity Fair editing Graydon Carters,

A bitch needs a moment of your time.

Let’s be frank, shall we?

You know that I know that you know that I know that your latest cover of alleged “It” celebrities had more to do with how Vanity Fair defines beauty than true it-ness.

No need to argue or defend.

I get it, son!

I’m not going to lecture you about how worn out and tired these covers have become or how predictable the article on how the photo came together is. You’re a businessman and there must be some sort of profit in magazine cover concept regurgitation behind Vanity Fair’s addiction to magazine cover concept regurgitation.

But, Graydon…honey, sweetie, darling...proclaiming that those actors reflect the "new Hollywood" is the very definition of wrongness!

Plenty of writers are calling you out on this shit, m’dear, and I won’t chew the remnants of a well-chewed bone.

I will simply add my voice to the chorus – the cover of the latest version of Vanity Fair’s New Hollywood issue is less diverse that a group photo of interns at the Heritage Foundation and fails to acknowledge the break-out performances of up and coming actors of color despite the fact that this year has seen break-out performances from up and coming actors of color.

That ain’t new, Graydon.

That’s business as usual.

My gods, man…that cover is a freakish look-a-like of a debutant class photo from the Veiled Prophet Ball!

Pause…consider…continue.

Have you been hanging out with that Chris Matthews?

Blink.

Sincerely tired of this tired ass shit,

Shark-Fu

Pondering what proposed legislation says about the legislators proposing it…

Happy February, people!

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

First, a bitch’s standard St. Louis Post-Dispatch website link warning – the comment section of Stltoday.com has a condition known as BigotryHateRanciditis, which manifests itself through hateful comments full of inaccurate assumptions about people of color, poor people, immigrants and LGBT people. Read with caution!

Onward!

Missouri legislators have proposed a bill that would require welfare recipients to pass drug tests in order to receive aide.

Some legislators say this legislation will protect taxpayers.

Other Missouri legislators, like Sen. Patrick Dougherty (D-St. Louis), point out that the bill singles out poor people and suggest that the legislation should be expanded to include anyone who receives state funding for anything. In the spirit, Rep. Maria Chappelle-Nadal (D-University City) has already proposed a separate bill that would require drug testing for legislators and their staff.

My initial reaction to this shit was disgusted frustration. The assumption that folks on welfare are rampant drug users is flawed and Lawd help us if the grand plan proposed by the Republican majority in the Missouri House and Senate to solve this states major budget problems is mandatory drug testing for poor people receiving welfare.

But after some thought…and a second cup of coffee…a bitch began to ponder what this kind of legislation says about the legislator who proposed it and those who support it.

This is the kind of legislation that makes a bitch wonder about a person’s knowledge base and, thus, question whether they are fit to hold office and legislate.

Do they have a habit of legislating based on rumor and assumptions?

Yes, mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients is disturbing and unethical in it’s singling out of poor people who are not the only folks in the state who receive aide funded by taxpayers. But a bitch is also disturbed by the fact that this apparently reactionary legislation has been proposed without the motivating fuel of…well, facts.

The bill assumes that there will be a benefit to taxpayers…because it assumes that there are a lot of welfare recipients on drugs...but where are the numbers?

They might not be there. Hell, Rep. Chuck Gatschenberger (R-Lake Saint Louis) acknowledges that there isn’t a problem of widespread drug use among Missouri teachers but he’s still proposing drug testing to crack down before there is a problem…and that assumes that Missouri teachers are poised on the brink of an orgy of illegal drug use.

With so many real and inarguable problems facing Missourians, is it too much to ask for Missouri legislators to address those problems before using the people’s time and money to pontificate about alleged problems and suspected abuse?

Do these legislators have any clue about addiction?

It seems as if these lawmakers think that addiction is something folks indulge in because they can get over on the system. But addiction is a medical issue and needs to be addressed with more treatment programs and options…which would also help address any potential abuse of tax-payer dollars by helping Missourians get off of drugs instead of punishing them for being addicted to drugs.

But that’d be too much like right…right?

Sigh.

Yes, the state of Arizona has already passed legislation based on previous drug testing legislation proposed in Missouri…and yes, Arizona claims that their requirements will save their state millions of dollars. That may or may not be true. What we do know is that these laws do little to nothing to address the issue of drug addiction in Missouri…and for the record, drug addiction is not exclusive to the ‘hood any more than welfare recipients are exclusive to the ‘hood.

If state legislators want to pass laws that protect tax-payers while assisting our communities then they’ll propose legislation that helps folks address their addiction, helps families stay fed and remain housed while loved ones are addressing their addiction and they'd set aside this kind of panderific bullshit.

Pause...consider...continue.

But that assumes that these legislators want to pass laws that protect tax-payers while assisting our communities and this bitch must confess that I have little proof that that’s their motivation on all manner of topics.

Blink.

The Audacity of Getting Shit Done…

Shall we?

Last night, President Obama gave a long and detailed State of the Union address in front of the people who are part of shaping the state of this union…and yes, that includes all of us.

Obama spoke about job creation and health care and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and a lot more.

Republicans responded by saying that Obama is trying to do too much…which a bitch thinks is a rather telling response, given that they could have said he shouldn’t be trying to do this or that. Instead, the GOP is almost conceding the point that all that shit needs to get done…they just don’t think it can get done at the same time.

Blink.

The full text of Obama’s State of the Union can be found here.

Anyhoo, here’s my take on Obama’s first year…musically.

He started out with Signed Sealed Delivered I’m Yours…won the election to the tune of A Change is Gonna Come…began his presidency with Can You Feel It? by the Jackson Five..quickly found himself confronted with liberal singing I Hate Myself for Loving You, conservatives shouting Reba's You Lie (off key, but loud as a motherfucker)…and then independents started to singing D-I-V-O-R-C-E, so Obama ended last week feeling the hell out of Viva la Vida.

Now, Obama is back with I Will Survive and trying to work toward some All Fired Up from Pat Benatar.

Meanwhile the GOP is anticipating the joy of playing Mozart’s Requiem.

The masses are trying to turn the volume down on all of it.

The state of the union is that the union needs to experience and participate in the audacity of getting shit done and getting it done right.

We, the people, need jobs…and health care reform is not separate from that no matter what some GOP politician who lusts for a 2010 revival says.

We, the people, need to be educated and trained to tackle the new jobs we need…and those jobs will require the economy to get over the plague and part of getting over the plague is reforming health care.

All this shit is connected, damn it.

I get that…I wish the GOP would get it too so they could be part of the solution and offer some suggestions instead of being a party capable only of critique yet incapable of generating a viable proposal of their own.

Yeah, I get the connectitude…and I sincerely hope the Democrats get it too, because not only is all this policy shit connected to our recovery but it is also connected to many a Democrat’s political future.

I get it…and I understand that we the people have a role in it too. We need to hold folks accountable and that's gonna take a hell of a lot more than a bunch of tea party fuss festivals or group sessions of liberal disgust.

We need to get shit done and do it right…or we’ll all be hearing that damn Viva la Vida song on a non-stop loop for the next three years while suffering the consequences of not doing a damn thing for fear of doing anything.

The state of the union is that we are paused at a crossroads…whether we turn left or right remains to be seen.

Maybe we won't turn at all.

Blink.

Chris Matthews, post-racialism and acceptable blackness…

Let’s jump right on in.

A bitch didn’t see it…I fell asleep watching the Blues hockey game (we were robbed!!) and wouldn’t have been watching the State of the Union on MSNBC anyway because Chris Mathews works my nerves…but apparently Mr. Matthews defined post-racialness on air last night.

Matthews…
"I was trying to think about who he was tonight. It's interesting: he is post-racial, by all appearances. I forgot he was black tonight for an hour. You know, he's gone a long way to become a leader of this country, and passed so much history, in just a year or two. I mean, it's something we don't even think about. I was watching, I said, wait a minute, he's an African-American guy in front of a bunch of other white people. And here he is president of the United States and we've completely forgotten that tonight — completely forgotten it. I think it was in the scope of his discussion. It was so broad-ranging, so in tune with so many problems, of aspects, and aspects of American life that you don't think in terms of the old tribalism, the old ethnicity. It was astounding in that regard. A very subtle fact. It's so hard to talk about. Maybe I shouldn't talk about it, but I am. I thought it was profound that way."

Cough.

This is America, the land of rich white men who can say anything anytime about anyone without consequences and the television networks that love them, so a bitch doesn’t expect Matthews to get called out for this one.

As a matter of fact, fuck it…why call him out for clarifying his use of post-racial for the masses?

Chris Matthews is all for a post-racial America…hell, he’s been trying to speak it into being since the Democratic primary season began two years ago. He believes that progress is made when folks who can’t deal with difference are able to simply not see difference and thus no longer discriminate based on difference because they can’t act on something they can’t see. That’s post-racialism for ya!

Usually achieving post-racialism is the responsibility of the person or people of color involved in a situation. The same is true here – Matthews explains that Obama has allowed for the fog of post-racialism to set in during the State of the Union…and properly obscure his vision…by being a leader, presenting a broad-reaching discussion and blah, blah followed by blah. As a result, President Obama has proven himself to be acceptably black by creating an environment in which folks like Matthews can forget that he’s…um, black.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Now, lots of folks like this post-racial shit because they like to think that they don’t see color or difference…many of them are trying not to see color or difference…and most of them prefer working toward that goal of non-seeingness because it is easier than working on their issues with race and difference.

A bitch calls that bullshit…post-racialist like Matthews are more than delusional, they are insulting and ig’nant with it.

By his very words Matthews is admitting that he’s got serious issues with race…not the he looks different from me or she sounds so black kind of issues but rather he looks difference and she sounds so black so that makes me uncomfortable because I fundamentally associate blackness with inadequacy kind of issues.

And that, my friends, is my problem with post-racialism – the theory that they only way folks like Chris Matthews can be comfortable with a black man in leadership is by not seeing him as a black man because they fundamentally don’t trust the worthiness of a black man in leadership.

As for acceptable blackness…well, I’m on the record about that shit and damn it all to hell and back if Matthews didn’t prove my point on that shit last night. Acceptable blackness is achieved by not being black.

My response is to say it loud…I’m black and I’m proud.

And if the only way Chris Matthews can deal with that and maintain respect is to ignore it or try to set it aside or sit back and wait for me to create a post-racial fog so his vision is properly obscured from seeing the disturbitude of my chocolate brown skin and fantabulous Afro…well, then he can kiss my black ass.

Different doesn’t mean lesser than.

And America won’t be post-racial until Americans do the inner work on that.

Next up, the State of the Union (FYI, it’s not post-racial).

Dawg drama, the State of the Union and why I'm watching hockey...

Lawd, what a day.

Betsey the sorta-beagle had another incident of food aggression...and added another scar to Theo the other sorta-beagle's snout.

Wine.

Theo got in a few of his own, so a bitch had major dawg drama this morning.

Wince again.

Betsey never used to be food aggressive, but she's changed as she's gotten older.

Sigh.

Anyhoo, I've got the State of the Union scheduled in the TiVo...but shall watch some ice hockey live, 'cause my nerves are too bad to deal with political shit just yet.

Rest assured...a bitch shall view and post about it by morning.

Pause...consider...continue.

Knowing our federal government, odds are an ice hockey fight/sorta-beagle food brawl will break out on the floor mid speech and tie my entire day's worth of drama together.

Blink.

Toodles for now...

...a bitch hears a vodka cran calling my name!

The Veritas Conspiracy…

A bitch spent yesterday at an awesome training in Jefferson City!

You know a training is good when even the tax law segment is interesting as hell.

Fantabulous!

Anyhoo, I returned home to some interesting veritas about a certain James O'Keefe and his friends and a break-in and some phone bugging.

Off topic – Reports say O'Keefe said "Veritas" as he left jail having posted bail. Gawd, this man is priceless! Did James O’Keefe go to Harvard or does he just like the sound of the word veritas?

I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand what it means.

Blink.

Yeah, um…so, a certain James O’Keeffe of the heavy on the conservative funding but light on the actual veritas O’Keefes has allegedly demonstrated that he skipped history class when they covered Watergate by allegedly (wink) participating in a cheap ass wanna be Watergate style break-and-bug operation at the office of Senator Landrieu.

And get this, he taped himself doing it!

Lawd, have mercy.

The allegation – according to an FBI affidavit, James “Vertitas” O'Keefe recorded two other suspects with his cell phone as they walked into the office dressed like telephone repairman (he does like his costumes, doesn’t he?) and said they needed to fix problems with the phone system.

That ain’t veritas.

‘Tisn’t even veritasish!

ABC News reports… "A federal law enforcement official said one of the suspects was picked up in a car a couple of blocks away with a listening device that could pick up transmissions. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the information was not part of an FBI affidavit that described the circumstances of the case.”

A bitch is dying to know if they were dressed up like pimps and taping themselves getting their G. Gordon Liddy on in that car too.

The alleged veritas conspirators – James “Veritas” O’Keefe (known tool who entrapped ACORN employees in a taped sting and has been dining out on it...like a pimp...since), Stan Dai (a DC based conservative operative with lots of "connections" listed in his multiple biographies) and Robert Flanagan, son of William Flanagan who is the acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana.

The veritas – if this is a political "prank" then Watergate was a field trip gone wrong and if these allegations result in convictions these fools are looking at 10 years in jail.

Blink again.

Veritas can set you free…

…or it can send your happy ass to jail.

Just ask G. Gordon Liddy!

Pause…consider…continue.

Oh, and someone needs to tell these assholes that Harvard wants their motto back…

Engaged volunteers needed!

A certain University of Virginia doctoral candidate contacted this bitch for help recruiting subjects to take her online survey on marriage attitudes.

Blink.

Why not?

Here’s the pitch, y’all.

Cristina Reitz-Krueger is looking for volunteers for a study of attitudes towards marriage and parenthood among engaged couples. The study consists of a 25-30 minute online survey. To qualify for the study, you must be 20-35 years old, live in the U.S., and plan to marry or have a commitment ceremony within the next 365 days. You and your romantic partner must not have children, and this must be the first marriage for both of you.

If you fit those parameters, help a doctoral candidate out!

You’ll be helping to increase the pool of scientific knowledge, support research on marriage and families (you know, with facts instead of wacky absolute statements pulled out of thin air) and you get to spend some time thinking about your relationship!

Cristina Reitz-Krueger is working with Dr. Charlotte J. Patterson, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Virginia, and the study has been approved by the University of Virginia Institutional Review Board (#2009025800).

If you and/or your romantic partner are interested in participating or want further information, please email Cristina at survey.couples@gmail.com. She will send you a link that you can use to access the study.

Thanks!

Illish and bitter with it…

A bitch is ill with a stomach bug and has been all weekend.

This is the worst!

And it makes a bitch bitter as hell.

Anyhoo, bitchitude shall return once my innards settle the hell down.

Ugh.

Blog for Choice – Not a plea or a request, but a demand…

Today is the anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade decision.

In honor of Dr. George Tiller, who often wore a button that simply read, "Trust Women," this year's Blog for Choice question is: What does “Trust Women” mean to you?

Shall we?

Trust Women is not a plea or a request, but a demand.

A bitch ain’t begging or asking for what is mine by law.

None of my rights have been granted upon request or achieved with ease.

The same is true of reproductive justice.

Those who would deny others reproductive justice do not trust women.

They have encountered women.

Throughout history they have conquered, enslaved, raped, oppressed, shackled, sexualized, pandered, resisted and restricted women.

But they do not trust women.

The women among them do not trust themselves.

Those who would deny others reproductive justice lobby for anti-knowledge abstinence only sex mis-education programs that lack education about…wait for it…sex.

Why?

Because they don’t trust women.

They lobby for parental notification laws that deny teens the right to determine their reproductive health while pregnant then they turn around and lobby against funding the social service programs that teen will need once she’s been forced by law to give birth.

Why?

Because even though they don’t trust young women with reproductive choice, they totally trust them with raising a baby without adequate access to housing, food or continuing education programs.

They want multi-day waiting periods before women can have an abortion…mandatory ultra-sounds…doctors to be required to read anti-choice rhetoric and present that bullshit as facts to their patients…legal requirements for posters and literature to be plastered throughout clinics…they want as many restrictions to accessing legal abortion services as they can get.

Because they know that a right without access isn’t really a right.

They want hospitals to be able to deny rape victims the option of taking emergency contraception…pharmacies and pharmacists to be able to not fill contraception prescriptions.

Why?

Because they do not trust women.

The thing is, these anti-choicers don’t want to trust women.

Trusting women means respecting women and respecting women means acknowledging all of our rights and acknowledging all that would threaten those in power.

And this struggle is all about power…those who have it and intend to keep it and those who need some of it, must struggle to achieve some of it and then struggle more to keep what we get.

Trust Women is not a plea or a request.

Trust Women is what I demand.

Because this bitch ain’t begging or asking for a damn thing.

None of my rights have been granted upon request or achieved with ease.

The same is true of reproductive justice.

I won’t take one step back.

I won’t ask for what is already mine.

And I will not be denied.

Trust that.

Honesty…

John Edwards has admitted that the baby he said wasn’t his is indeed his.

It made this bitch think of that Billy Joel song Honesty (wink).

If you search for tenderness
It isn't hard to find.
You can have the love you need to live.
But if you look for truthfulness
You might just as well be blind.
It always seems to be so hard to give.

You know, the child that everyone and their dawg thought was his even though he claimed she wasn’t…and even though he went so far as to say the baby was some other man’s child…yeah, that baby!

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

Well, Edwards has admitted that he’s the daddy…

I can always find someone
To say they sympathize.
If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.
But I don't want some pretty face
To tell me pretty lies.
All I want is someone to believe.

…and, in doing so, has officially made his personal life into an episode of The Maury Povich show.

Daaaaaamn!

It’s been a long journey toward the land of honesty for Edwards.

Some within the Democratic Party will wince at the realization that they came really close to having Edwards as their presidential nominee with this non-secret secret affair lurking out in the open for any reporter to find.

Honesty is such a lonely word.
Everyone is so untrue.
Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

Some other folks will shake their heads over Edwards continued denial of paternity and what that says about him as a person.

I can find a lover.
I can find a friend.
I can have security until the bitter end.
Anyone can comfort me
With promises again.
I know, I know.

And some others will take this opportunity to examine the difference between what people present to the world and what they really are about…you don’t know someone until you know someone and even then you probably don’t know someone and that shit is super true for politicians.

When I'm deep inside of me
Don’t be too concerned.
I won't as for nothin' while I'm gone.
But when I want sincerity
Tell me where else can I turn.
Because you're the one I depend upon.

But this bitch is going to take this opportunity to do a little sex education work.

Honesty is such a lonely word.

I recently wrote about the media’s relative silence regarding allegations that Tiger Woods had unprotected sex while getting his infidelity on in an article for RH Reality Check. Now we have John Edwards admitting that he fathered a child through a sexual relationship he had while married.

Everyone is so untrue.

I do not know if Edwards and his lover used a condom…but, if they did, something went wrong because at some point sperm met egg.

Now, some may watch the press chew on this latest revelation and think that this scandal that just keeps on scandalizing is the worst thing that could ever happen to a family.

But all this drama ain’t shit compared to the real health risks of unprotected sex…and the specific health risks of unprotected sex with multiple partners, one of whom may or may not know that unprotected sex with multiple partners is happening.

Honesty is hardly ever heard.
And mostly what I need from you.

Pause…consider…continue.

I’m guessing that it’s too much to ask for Edwards to pose for the cover of In Touch under the headline “I should have used protection!”…

…but I bet Rielle Hunter could score one under the headline “I’m glad I chose life!”

Blink.

This one goes out to the ones I love....

A bitch is more than a wee bit hung over this morning. Those who follow my ass on the Twitter know why (wince).

Hell, an evening of vodka and Vietnam War films seemed like a good idea at the time, but now…shit.

Wince again.

Shall we?

I’m not celebrating the massive Democratic Party fail that took place last night in Massachusetts.

‘Tis true that the Dems shat the bed rather than get about the bitness of legislating with their filibuster proof majority.

And pundits are telling me that the Mass Senate vote was about voters’ unhappiness with Dems.

But the devil is in the details.

Some voters are unhappy that government is trying to reform health care at all…others are pissed that government isn’t going far enough with the proposed reforms…and still others are peeved that government is not getting it done now that they’ve compromised and arrived at the deciding point.

Insert whatever policy you want to…”voters are unhappy” is an intellectually lazy analysis that is revealed as such once a body peels off the scab to examine the multiple infections beneath.

Voters are divided, confused, angry and prepared to go possum on all things legislative as a result.

Thus, Republicans like Mr. Brown who run on the "I’ll make the merry-go-round stop spinning" platform and and will win…even though you know and I know that you know that I know that Senator-elect Brown is going to get his minion on once seated and that’s not going to be funny or amusing or good for the people.

It will, however, be good for the Obama Administration should it result in further mid-term drama come November.

Catch the knee; a bitch is hung over and unable to dodge that shit!

The best gift a first term President can have is a mid-term correction…particularly if that correction comes with a mandate to do nothing and stop everything. That kind of gridlock makes running for re-election a motherfucking dream…this has all happened before and it will all happen again.

But I’m not capable of the kind of reaction to this shit that some in the progressive crowd are expressing…the kind of snarkified response that comes from having little to no emotional investment in policy because there isn’t room for it with all that intellectual superiority stretching out and settling in.

A bitch knows that something wicked this way comes…the reaction following yesterday’s action.

I know that now it’ll be harder to do anything…and me and mine need shit to get done.

And I don’t kid myself into thinking nothing was getting done before…we’re about to see nothing and then, quicker than a bitch can spit, we’re all about to see a rash of something that’ll make us long for the days of nothing.

Sigh.

And politicians won’t suffer…they never do. They’ll either get re-elected or lose and move into the private sector where they’ll make a lot of money consulting with folks who got elected.

Pundits?

This kind of mid-term drama is a gift from the rating gods.

The pundits will spin and sorta-analyze and chew on that bone until there ain’t no bone left to chew.

Ah, but the masses…the people are the ones looking up at a fast moving ball of shit traveling downhill and picking up speed.

Part of me could give a shit since some of those in that shit ball's path are part of the problem, having been so apathetic toward policy changes once last year's election party was over and the lights came up.

But most of me is right there with all y’all…looking up at the shit ball despite over a year spent lobbying for the reforms my ass cast the ballot in support of.

And I see no place for celebration in that, because the struggle continues.

This just means we’re going to have to wade through waist high shit for a serious length of time.

Blink...blink again...wince.

***logs off to take headache pills, get dressed and then get my social justice work on***

Massachusetts, go get your vote on!

A bitch is more than a little stunned by the election drama in Massachusetts today to fill the seat of the last Senator Kennedy.

And if I was freaked out by the fact that health care reform was being held prisoner by one vote in the Senate, I’m beside my damn self by the prospect of health care reform being derailed by the potential vote of a certain Mr. Brown should he win the election today.

Gawd, what a clusterfuck of monumental proportions?!?

All I can say is that folks in Massachusetts need to get your vote on.

But damn it all the hell and back, I can’t believe it has come to this…to Dems struggling to hold a senate seat in Massachusetts.

Ugh…followed by SHIT!..followed by another call for folks to get their vote on.

Mercy.

A quick note on coverage and reporting…

A bitch has watched coverage of the disaster in Haiti…as much as it makes my heart break, I can’t help but feel that if the Haitian people can endure it I can at least witness it.

A lot of the stories have been about escalating violence and/or looting.

I was reminded of a wicked storm that hit the St. Louis region a few years ago. We lost power for over a week and it was hot and most of the city baked with little to no news of when the heat would break or power would be restored. Almost immediately my fellow St. Louisans kind of freaked out…they went to the few stores that were open and bought them out, they pitched fits at gas stations because the pumps weren’t working without power and generally people reacted with a kind of I’m-on-the-edge-and-may-lose-my-shit-at-any-moment attitude that was scary. The National Guard was called in to help clean up and maintain order…and no, not just for "black neighborhoods" (ugh).

The power was finally restored for most of us within a week and I only mention it because it relates to the coverage of Haiti after the horrific earthquake that hit last week.

If well fed (for the most part), healthy St. Louisans who still had our hot as hell but stable homes to return to (for the most part) kind of freaked out after losing power for a week…just try to imagine how you’d react if you were already hungry, if you were surrounded by death and destruction, if you were in pain, if you were in shock, if you hadn’t had water for days and were sitting out in the street unable to escape the wretched stench of rotting friends and relatives…just try to imagine how you’d handle that.

And then, after you’ve imagined your reaction, look around and know that even your worst imaginations can’t come close to what people in Haiti are dealing with.

Sigh.

I’d like to acknowledge America this Morning’s (ABC News) reporting as an exception to the "look at the natives getting violent - we've got film!!" coverage. I was impressed with the follow-up coverage ABC News has done on stories so that viewers like me know where aide has made it and where it still needs to go. I'm also impressed with how many reporters they have on the ground and how they’ve been covering the news without becoming the news (the exception being medical reporters who have stepped in to treat the injured and Robin Roberts from Good Morning America's quest to unite would-be adopted Haitian children with their would-be American parents via satellite).

But I am most impressed by a specific report filed by Martha Raddatz and how she related news of looting in Port-au-Prince by explaining that some of the looters were desperate for food and others were desperate for anything (like toothpaste to smear under their nose) to mask the smell of decaying bodies.

It might seem like such a little insignificant thing...but for those in need who rely on news coverage to help frame the scope of this disaster, that explanation is the very definition of important.

There is looting for profit and then there is looting for survival…

…just like there is coverage and then there is reporting.

I’m gonna put on my robe and tell the story…

…how I made it over!

Longtime readers know that a bitch is a fan of gospel music (I Shall Wear a Crown) and volunteerism.

I’m going to share a bit of both with y’all today.

Years ago, I began volunteering at a local transitional shelter for homeless pregnant teens in North St. Louis city. I remember my first few days visiting the shelter well…how the students made fun of the way I talked, rolled their eyes at the advice I gave in my classes and generally acted like they could do without my black ass showing up twice a week and robbing them of an hour each visit.

At first glance, the neighborhood where the shelter is located appears to be more than a wee bit rough. If you read the newspapers you’d think this particular part of the city was populated by violent thugs, willful degenerates and families who support thuggish violence and breed willful degenerates. It is true that the neighborhood has a high level of crime and violence…but it is also a neighborhood full of hard working regular folks who are trying to move past survival toward thriving.

It took more than one visit to the shelter for the students to stop looking at me like I was full of shit.

It took some more time for folks in the neighborhood to warm up to me…to smile and nod or ask after my day as I unpacked my car or packed it back up after a class.

I shall wear a crown,
I shall wear a crown,
When it's all over,
When it's all over,

But it didn’t take long for me to get hooked on the challenge, to look forward to my classes or to realize that looks can be deceiving.

What looked like a city sector without hope…was in reality a neighborhood with tons of hope despite the lack of resources and jobs.

Those who appeared at first glance to be uncaring teen fuck-ups too ignorant to be entrusted with facts and skills…were in actuality young mothers who deserved the respect of comprehensive sex education, of real-life skills on how to balance work and raise a family and who deserved the tools to achieve a life without constant want and struggle.

I shall see His face,
I shall see His face,
When it's all over,
When it's all over,

I started volunteering as a project…as a one-year thing that my liberal ass felt compelled to do.

I wanted to help others…to give back, but I found myself being helped and given so much.

So I went back…and kept going back…and watched as some of my students dropped out while others moved into permanent housing or graduated from high school or went to college or a trade school…and at some point my “project” became part of my life.

I'm gonna put on my robe,
Tell the story,
How I made it over,

This work is no longer work…that neighborhood is no longer someone else’s problem…and those young mothers are no longer strangers.

I'm gonna put on my robe,
Tell the story,
How I made it over,

The other day I went to a fast food drive-through for some sometimes food, placed my order and pulled up to the window only to find one of my former students smiling back at me.

I asked how she was doing and if she was still going to community college.

She laughed and said I never changed…that she was indeed still in school, though it was hard and she wasn’t taking all the classes this semester.

I told her that happened and encouraged her to stick to it.

She gave me my change and shared that, when she voted in the previous election, she thought of me and the voter education classes I’d taught at the shelter.

That was one of the best moments of my life.

May those who volunteer today in honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day be inspired to continue that work throughout the year…

…and then for another year and then another one after that.

I'm gonna put on my robe,
Tell the story,

May they be inspired to incorporate volunteerism in their life.

How I made it over,

And may they tell their story and inspire others to do the same.

Soon

as

I

get

home.

Reflectitude...

Thank the gods for Friday, y’all!

Lawd, have mercy…this has been a week, hasn’t it?

Anyhoo, next month...February, baby...this blog will celebrate 5 years of bitchitude.

I know, where did the time go!?!

I’ve been reading through past blog posts and reading the comments and developing a new appreciation for those who comment.

Oh, I don’t just appreciate those who comment to agree with my ass – though I do adore you folks and you are, of course, brilliant (wink).

But I also appreciate the folks who have taken the time to disagree with this bitch and who have done so without ig’nant rancidity. It takes a lot of skill to challenge without apology yet with respect…I ought to know, since I’ve been moderating my comments for years and Lawd knows that there are too many folks out there who can’t resist their inner bigot or who confuse being condescending with being clever.

For five years I have had the opportunity to experience the good, the bad and the rancid of comments. I didn’t moderate comments when I started blogging, but I quickly learned that some people see comment sections as opportunities to spread hate across the internets…other people see comment sections as a space where they can anonymously proclaim themselves absolutely right and everyone else absolutely wrong…and then there are the missionary comment makers, who feel the need to save this bitch (they aren’t so bad just kind of sad, but are usually so off topic that a bitch has to reject them).

Yeah, I’ve had some really fucked up comments…but I’ve also had folks who have some serious shit to say and who have offered up some amazing and different perspectives on various blog topics. Those folks have made me a better blogger…not because I’ve changed my mind on shit, though I have on some things over the years. No, those comment makers have made me a better blogger because they make this bitch pause and consider before I continue.

Add to that the many comments I’ve had in support or in agreement and…well, I’ve gained so much from that mix that is has been well worth having to suffer the knavish trolls!

Sigh.

So, thanks to all who comment…those who agree, those who sorta agree and those who think a bitch is way off target and needs to know why!

Pause…consider…continue.

But you knavish trolls can go fuck yourself twice on Sunday.

Toodles!

God don't like ugly...

I just watched an ABC News segment on Haiti.

Update - here is a link to the segment.

A bilingual reporter flew in with an aide organization and then toured several neighborhoods and talked to Haitians who are sleeping out in the streets because their homes have been destroyed.

The neighborhood was very quiet despite the masses of people…no babies crying or people moaning, no angry shouts or desperate pleas. And the people that the reporter spoke with had a look in their eyes…shock and pain and fear…and something else – hope.

As the segment came to an end, the reporter having spoken to several people with injuries who were unable to find medical care, a spontaneous worship broke out…women raised their arms to the sky and swayed to a rhythm that comes from within.

Back and forth, they shifted their weight together and sang a song of praise.

Even those who were unable to stand joined in…the camera capturing it all as the segment ended and the reporter noted that people who have lost everything have not lost their faith.

And I couldn’t help but note the difference between faith in practice…between the kind of faith that has a broken body lift hands and sing…and resume faith, where the prosperity gospel translates into making money as a television preacher by speaking words of hate and judgment in the name of God.

When there is a disaster both kinds of faith are present.

I saw the same after Hurricane Katrina or the Tsunami – so many people living their values by giving of themselves and some others indulging in public displays of ig’nance so poorly timed and lacking in compassion or decency that they literally took my breathe away.

The Haitian people are strong…they have endured despite oppression, tyranny, poverty and corruption.

And many Haitians are people of faith…some of that was captured in the segment that aired this morning, which showed Haitians using their faith to soothe and comfort as they sat surrounded by devastation and want.

Voices blending and bodies swaying, faces marked with blood and covered in dust, arms raised high with palms facing up.

Faithful and empowered through it…

…rather than vengeful and seeking power with it.

I stand in awe of the first.

As for the other…well, God don’t like ugly.

An earthquake has struck Haiti…

A 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck Haiti yesterday.

There are reports of widespread destruction and loss of life.

To help – MSNBC.com has a list of organizations providing relief that you can donate to.

If you are searching for information as a relative, the State Department has set up a toll free phone number 1-888-407-4747 (note – you may get a recording due to the large volume of calls.)

Please post links to additional resources and aide organizations in the comments.

61...

Let’s jump right in, okay?

Yesterday Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids while playing professional baseball for the St. Louis Cardinals.

As a St. Louisan, I grew up watching Cardinal baseball and loving every second of it (three cheers for Whitey Ball!!), but I kicked professional baseball to the curb when the industry chose the cash cow of the long ball over sportsmanship and integrity after a damaging strike. ‘Twas during that post strike era when a certain Mark McGwire emerged as the second coming of Roger Maris.

Even though I wasn’t watching baseball anymore, I followed McGwire’s race to break Maris’s home runs in a single season record. And I noted the excitement of the fans and McGwire’s home plate celebration when he did what we now know he was bio-engineered to do and broke the single season record.

Then came the steroid scandals…and the accusations leveled against multiple players…and some leaked grand jury testimony…and a bunch of public denials…and then that freakishly evasive non-denial denial testimony by McGwire to Congress and then…silence.

Nothing…until McGwire’s name emerged a few weeks ago when the Cardinals teased the notion of bringing him back as a hitting coach.

The response to that was tepid at best and most of the local pushback came from McGwire’s past non-denial denial of steroid use so…wait for it…bring on the tearful sorta full disclosure interview with St. Louis native Bobby Costas yesterday.

Cough.

McGwire cheated.

If he used steroids to enhance his hitting…he cheated.

If he used steroids to accelerate his recovery from the physical toll of baseball…he cheated.

And even if the steroids didn’t work and failed to enhance his hitting (which is absolute bullshit on ice) or didn’t little to nothing to assist in physical recovery…even if that shit is true, McGwire still tried to cheat and would have gleefully done so but for the failure of the ‘roids to do what ‘roids do (and I’ll repeat, I think talk of the lack of impact steroids had on McGwire’s performance is absolute bullshit steaming on Mississippi River ice!).

Now, y’all can forgive McGwire all you want to…hell, reward him with a coaching job and name another highway after his cheating ass if it gives your life meaning…but do that shit while keeping it real and only after Mr. I Took Steroids But They Didn’t Help Me One Bit ass keeps it real.

He cheated and in doing so insulted the legacy of the Roger Maris, whose record feel to a lie.

He has insulted and damaged the game of baseball…which used to be a sport but, with this latest public display of fan apathy toward a blatant lack of athletic integrity, is on the verge of becoming as legitimate as professional wrestling.

McGwire cheated…and you can dress it up and pour perfume on it all y’all want – that motherfucker is as guilty of cheating his way to 61 as homemade sin.

For the love of the game…he should have come clean a million times ago and certainly before now. But even though he’s come clean McGwire’s cheating at the game doesn’t break my heart the way folks not giving a shit about it does.

For the love of the game…he should have refused the single season record and lead by example in a sport populated by athletes who only seem capable of remorse when they get caught or can find personal profit from sorta-demonstrating the emotion.

For the love of the game…McGwire should have known that baseball is bigger than him or single season records or some sorry ass newly revealed hitting coach opportunity to rehabilitate his own image while further tarnishing the game.

Because if baseball isn't bigger than McGwire and worth more than his quest for validation (puh-lease, don't mistake that mess for redemption), what is now sport can so easily become sub-rate theatre played on a stage with three bases and a home plate.

But for the love of the game, a man would sell his soul for 61.

Monday warm-up and Blago’s home training fail…

A bitch woke up to the fantabulous news that the temperature is 28 degrees.

Happy, happy, happy and joy times three!

28 degrees feels downright warm after over a week of freezing temps.

Anyhoo, ‘tis Monday and that means a new week and that means a new batch of home training fails.

Shall we?

Jake Tapper of ABC News is reporting that Former Illinois Governor Rob Blagojevich lost what was left of his mind in an interview with Esquire.

"It's such a cynical business, and most of the people in the business are full of s--- and phonies, but I was real, man — and am real. This guy, he was catapulted in on hope and change, what we hope the guy is. What the f---? Everything he's saying's on the teleprompter. I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up."

Oh my!

Who knew that blackness is defined by shining shoes, growing up in a five-room apartment and having a parent who owns a launderette in a black neighborhood located close to where one grows up?

I’ve never shined shoes for a living (confession – I rarely shine shoes period), I grew up in a mostly white neighborhood in the ‘burbs and my father worked in marketing at a soft drink company.

Good Gawd, according to Blago's Scale of Blackness a bitch's blackness is now in doubt!

Add to that my questionable "negro" dialect and...oh my goodness.

Pause…consider…continue.

At least this explains why my Race Card has yet to arrive in the mail.

Blink.

Are you there George?

Update #2

George sorta calls George Will out (click for link to sorta call out).

Sorta.

Pause...consider...continue.

We still need to talk.

Update #1

Never fucking mind, George.

Just read that this was your last show.

Way to end on a low, son!

Mercy.

Are you there George?

It’s me, Shark-Fu!

You don’t know me, but I’ve followed your career and political happenings since 1992 (loved you in The War Room, by the way).

Anyhoo, I watched The Week today and…well, we need to talk.

George, why oh why did you let George Will get away with saying that Senator Reid was preaching an inarguable truth when he went on about the benefits of President Obama being a "light-skinned" candidate with no “negro dialect”?

Why?

I know that y’all have time limits for segments, but the only person on your all white panel who challenged Will was Liz fucking Cheney.

Jesus H. Christ, George!

Was there a glitch in the Matrix?

Liz fucking Cheney was the lone voice of outrage…and the only reason she went after Will on that rancid opinion was to make some freakish case that liberals may talk about black people that way in private but Cheney Republicans don’t.

Did you tune out or something...start thinking about football and missed that shit entirely?

What the hell does that say about your moderation skills when you let that shit slide?

And why the fuck can’t the Sunday chat shows recruit diverse round table participants?

I’m not talking about having a woman of color on every once and a while.

Women of color aren’t part-time or once a month members of society…and there are tons of political thinkers out there representing the full political spectrum that you could get on the show, not just Donna Brazile.

George, I need you to do better.

Meet the Press has gone to shit, but I feel that This Week may be save-able.

So, this bitch is asking you…yeah you, George…to look at your line up from today's show and ask yourself if it is even slightly representative of America or capable of generating a discussion that reflects the variety of views held by members of our diverse society?

And then I want you to look at the moderator in the mirror and make that change!

Shit.

Call me, honey bun.

We’ll talk.

The challenge of inner work and the struggle for realness…

This bitch is still riding a Blues road victory high…thank the hockey gods!

‘Twas worth staying up late to watch my beloved Blues get a win in Los Angeles.

Congrats to Coach Payne on his first NHL win and may it be one of many more to come.

Moving forward.

A bitch is a big fan of inner work and realness and both are key building blocks to practicing the fine art of bitchitude.

Inner work is challenging because most of us don’t like to examine ourselves and whether we are living a life of example or superficial bullshit.

But if inner work is challenging, realness is a struggle.

Realness is about keeping shit real…about taking the results of inner work out for a spin. Realness is about working against the many small and large opportunities for hypocritical behavior that present themselves to a body everyday.

And yes, realness is hard as hell to maintain.

Last week two public displays of ig’nance presented themselves to the masses. One involved GOP Chairman Michael Steele and his use of the phrase “honest injun” to underscore some point about a GOP plan to defeat all things Obama related.

Note – insulting Native Americans is not mentioned as one of the 12 steps.

I haven’t heard that phrase used in years, but it was once a popular phrase used to emphasize the truth of a thing. It fell out of use because “injun” is an ethnic slur.

Now there are some people who are going to reject that by going on and on about how criticism of Steele’s use of the slur is yet another example of political correctness run amuck. Many of these same assholes defend the use of "tar baby" and enjoy bigot porn like Rush Limbaugh.

Back here on Earth, using ethnic slurs is not something folks should waste their breathe defending. It was insulting…and the last thing the political party of Rush the magic negro Limbaugh needs is their chairman dropping ethnic slurs on national television while trying to make the point that the GOP is in touch with the masses.

I don’t give a rat’s ass that Steele is a person of color. If anything that makes his use of the slur worse because even Michael Steele’s simple-minded ass knows the sting of being called an ethnic slur.

To the other verbal malfunction that made news this week.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has apologized for saying that President Obama (Senator Obama at the time of the verbal malfunction) would be well served politically by his race because he was “light-skinned” … “with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."

This…umm, opinion…is revealed in the book "Game Change" by Time Magazine's Mark Halperin and New York magazine's John Heilemann.

Aside – a bitch is more than a wee bit surprised that another allegation in the book, that President Clinton failed to gain Senator Kennedy’s endorsement for Senator Clinton during the Democratic Primary because at one time he told Senator Kennedy that a few years ago Obama would have been serving the pair coffee.

Blink.

Where was I?

Oh yes, Senator Reid has apologized and President Obama has accepted but…yeah, but.

This is where inner work and realness come into play.

I really don’t want to be like Mike and hold one verbal malfunction maker accountable while letting the other ass off the hook.

I also don’t want to be a hypocrite on this. I’ve had my share of verbal malfunctions and had to deal with the shame and embarrassment of making them all the while knowing that only time can heal those wounds and there’s no guarantee that time will get that job done.

But Michael Steele is the Chair of the GOP…and his words reflect on that party and the policies of that party and the motivations behind those policies.

Senator Reid is the Senate Majority Leader…and he’s responsible for guiding all kinds of legislation through the Senate. It’s disturbing to think that he holds those beliefs and is a leader on important social policy.

And, much like Steele’s use of an ethnic slur is amplified in it’s wrongness by the fact that he is a person of color who has been subject to many an ethnic slur (a lot of them from his side of the aisle…wince)…Senator Reid’s verbal malfunction is amplified by the fact that the Democratic Party has dined out for years on the perception that it understands and works against racial discrimination and the stereotyping that fuels a lot of that discrimination.

Catch that knee – a bitch is more than aware that many folks on the left are as bad as conservatives when it comes to issues of race.

That’s the ever-loving point.

I’ve spent the past year listening to fools proclaim America post-racial and trying to point out the many ways we aren’t.

It makes my Afro hurt that the liberal herd turned on Senator Lott when he lifted up Senator Strom Thurmond’s candidacy (based on segregation now and segregation forever) as a missed opportunity to better the nation but now many of them expect Senator Reid to get a pass for perpetuating the myth of "acceptable blackness".

And there it is…the challenge of inner work and the struggle for realness.

How people respond, if people respond, will define them…

…just like verbal malfunctions, race baiting political campaigns and ethnic slurs define the people involved in that shit.

The challenge and the struggle.

Post-racial, my Hershey chocolate brown no “negro” dialect having black ass.

It’s Friday, y’all!

A bitch happy to see Friday this week.

I’m cold as hell and the weather people promise that my ass is going to remain cold until next week. Who the hell would have thought a bitch would eagerly anticipate the warmth of 30-degree weather?

Mercy.

Anyhoo, I’m not going to fuss too much since several readers from Edmonton have contacted a bitch with tales of -17 degree drama.

Wince.

Y’all be careful up there, you hear?

Layer your Canadian selves up and make sure your dawg companions are safe and warm.

Pause…consider…continue.

Lawd, I can’t imagine the sorta-beagles dealing with -17 degree drama!

Shit, I have a hard time getting them to go outside and so their bitness in this 10-degree Missouri deep freeze coldness…they’d revolt if we lived in Edmonton.

Blink.

Oh well, its Friday and that means the weekend and that means sleeping in and napping in my couch-based area with sorta-beagles smuggled about me.

Happy, happy, happy and joy times three!

Stay warm, y’all…

…and drive safe, because there are some ig’nant motherfuckers out there.

Which brings me to the home training fail of the week – motherfuckers who drive like they have lost their damn minds even though the roads are iced over.

A bitch was driving to work yesterday…carefully allowing Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio to go slow since she doesn’t weight that much and tends to fly across ice-based surfaces. The asshole behind me, who was driving a Ford F-150, took the opportunity to ride the ass of Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio through my neighborhood streets. For a moment I thought that maybe we’d somehow gotten stuck together, he was driving so close to me! Finally, the asshole swerved in front of me and gunned it…only to spin and spin and spin until his Ford F-150 finally came to rest in the middle of the road facing the wrong way.

Sigh.

Ford F-150 Man was fine… he got out of his truck and glared at it as if it had done him wrong instead of the other way around (yeah, he was that kind of asshole).

Gawd save me from fools who commit public displays of poor home training as they try to recreate truck commercials in the middle of a snowstorm!

Mercy.

Be safe out there…

Ugh...

Gawd, what a fucked up from the floor up day.

The weather is fucked…snow and ice and a deep freeze this bitch suspects comes from the goddess to punish the masses for being out of touch sanctimonious shits.

A company in my home city had an incident of workplace violence that resulted in four people dead (including the gunman) and several people struggling for their lives from gunshot wounds.

The New Jersey state senate indulged in an absolute legislative fail by voting down same-sex marriage because…well, for no damn good reason other than a case of ig’nance and that they could.

News on the health care reform front is…well, it looks like reproductive justice is currently being asked to choose between rancid one way option #1 and rancid another way option #2.

And this bitch is ending the day thinking that the best course of action is to go full on hermit in 2010.

Yep, I said hermit...on some island unreachable except through crazy ass and dangerous as hell transportation.

Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit and another shit.

I just don’t get it.

I don’t!

I can’t understand why anyone would want to deny rights to someone else or hurt someone else or force someone to live as they choose to live.

And I don’t want to understand it.

I don’t want to get that shit…because I think getting it brings a body too close to the rancid insecurity, self hate and violence that lives at the core of it.

Ugh.

Sigh.

Yeah, right now I’m longing for the hermit way.

This longing won’t last.

A bitch suspects that it is based on my current state of extreme weltschmerz.

Jjust as a bitch doesn’t understand folks who find joy in inflicting pain, suffering and denial on others I also don’t understand people who can maintain a state of weltschmerz while others are getting off by pissing in the Corn Flakes of others.

Sigh.

So odds are my hermit dream will have to be put off until my retirement.

Until then, a bitch will continue to find comfort in the joy of NHL hockey (my seats are definitely Center Ice, baby!), the love of my sorta-beagles and my new Cheetos addiction.

Sigh again followed by an exhausted blink and another sigh.