Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Why this bitch ain’t getting over “it”…

Shall we?

As most of you know, this bitch moderates comments. I didn’t start off doing it, but soon after I published my King Kong post trollish knaves emerged and…well, a bitch simply can not have them distracting from my bitchitude (wink). So, I moderate my comments…and, as a result, I read them all.

I’ve noticed that a lot of anonymous comments have the same basic theme…get over “it”. They tend to be from Anonymouses (not to stereotype all anonymous comment people)…they are usually posted to pieces dealing with race, LGBT equality or feminism…and they almost always mention that we’re living in 2009 as if a bitch doesn’t know what fucking year it is.


Suffice it to say, get over “it” is the kind of demand that inspires all manner of reactions in this bitch.

#1…Why the fuck do people insist on telling my grown ass what to do?

The only thing I have to do is stay black and eventually die (although I suspect I may be immortal...wink). The rest of this shit is negotiable. I understand…and even indulge in…thinking people ought to do this or that, but daaaaamn! There sure are a lot of pushy Anonymouses out there who need some serious instruction in home training and how to speak to a bitch whilst in my blog-based area!


#2…Did I miss the memo announcing that “it” has expired? And who decides what the expiration date is for “it”? Doesn’t the FDA have enough on their plate?

Assuming “it” is the oppression of [insert group here] and that, by saying there is something to get over, the Anonymouses are acknowledging that there was a wrong to begin with…who the fuck gets to decide the expiration date on that shit?

How is that expiration date determined?

Pause…put on Oliver Stone JFK conspiracy ‘fro…continue.

Who benefits from the expiration and removal of “it”-inspired feelings from the shelf? And why is it usually the people who benefited from fucking someone over who then think they can turn around and say “Fine! Now get over it!”?

Remove conspiracy ‘fro and continue.

Just think for a moment about how precious that belief must be…how powerful that skill would be…and how fucked up from the floor up insulting the real-life application of that bullshit is.

#3…I ain’t getting over a damn thing!

The notion of getting over “it” insults “it” and the impact “it” has on a people, communities and society as a whole.

The question is not why people haven’t gotten over “it”, but how the fuck some people can even conceive of a body ever getting over “it”.

I know folks who can’t get over getting the wrong order from a drive-thru, but I’m supposed to just “get over” my reality (which is so much better than my parent’s reality…and that was world’s better than my grandparent’s reality was) which is a present that is saturated in a history of denial, violence, intimidation, neglect and we must not forget those random monkey eating watermelon cartoons/t-shirts/coffee mugs/political fundraiser solicitations that keep coming back on the scene like a resistant yeast infection.

Yet some Anonymouses clearly feel that “it” is no big thing…or that it used to be a big thang but isn’t anymore because…

What, exactly?

Because America is supposed to be post-racial now…and so advanced that we can indulge in the pondering of whether we need feminism or a social justice movement?

And everyone knows that homophobia only exists because gays insist on being so gay and wanting the same rights as other people…and wouldn’t it just be easier if they could just get over being upset about that stuff and enjoy a nice refreshing smoothie?


Lawd, give me strength.

Mayhap Anonymouses have confused getting over “it” with letting “it” dominate my life.

For the record, if this bitch stopped and fretted every time some ig’nant asshole dropped the word “nigger” into a comment, email or to my face…if I shut down every time my ass was followed through a store, if I got upset every time a well meaning but delusional acquaintance tried to convince me I wasn’t just followed through a store…if I melted down every time I’m harassed while driving black, subjected to someone’s “I’m not a racist, but…” need to seek approval for being a bigot…if I had to mourn every insulting as hell portrayal of women of color in the media, every Birth of a Nation portrayal of blacks in government, every watermelon and fried chicken reference on conservative radio shows, or every other time someone points out that they have issues with race/class/gender/orientation/nationality by trying to explain that they don’t have issues with race/class/gender/orientation/nationality but they do feel that [insert issue with race/class/gender/orientation/nationality] is wrong and something should be done about it…cough…if a bitch ceased functioning after every time some one resurrected, nurtured and demonstrated the hell out of “it” my black ass wouldn’t make it out the motherfucking door each morning.

“It” is not a thing of the past.

Even if “it” were history that shit wouldn’t be get over-able. To even hold that expectation requires a serious lack of understanding of “it”…or a level of don’t give a fuck that is disturbing as hell.

“It” is not some minor slight that no rational person would carry with them for more than a day.

“It” is a shadow of pain that was forever in my father’s eyes that I now see reflected in the eyes of many from my generation as we try to come to terms with a world that wants all of us to just get over “it” even as they refuse to acknowledge the “it” we should be getting over.

Even though “it” is still alive and kicking ass.

And this bitch will not be getting over a damn thing. As a matter of fact, I congratulate myself daily for living with “it” and remaining mostly non-violent.

***fluff Afro and pat back***

History teaches us that you can’t change what you’ve managed to convince yourself isn’t broken…or never even happened…or, if it did happen, certainly wasn’t so awful that you should have to hear about it when all you want to do is watch that Spokane banker save those adorable ducklettes again.

The tricky part is understanding that addressing what has resulted from “it” doesn’t make “it” go away...and that we don't want to forget "it" and move on.

We want to acknowledge "it", remember "it", fix "it" if possible and move on with better odds of not repeat "it" because we didn't say fuck "it.

***logs off to look at ducklettes again before moderating more comments***


tallon nunez said...


The Lazy Iguana said...

OK I can not resist.

Get over it :)

No seriously, all this shit is crazy. EVERYONE reasonable and sane wants to get over "it". I know I do. But I also realize that while things are a lot better than they were (black people can at least vote now), there is still room for improvement. And I think that improvement is being made.

I think the key is education opportunities. The more someone knows, the better their job will be. I also think there are social issues that have to be worked around to really have equal education opportunities - if we as a society really have the fortitude to be honest about these issues and find realistic and workable solutions to them.

And for the record - what is wrong with fried chicken? It is some good stuff. A classic dish that will never go out of style. Uniquely southern. A dish that crosses all social barriers.

And what is a better food on a hot American summer day than watermelon?

Nothing. That is what. Nothing. And even better - you core the watermelon, pour some vodka into it, then replace the plug. Then let it sit for a few hours or overnight.

I only wish my boat were bigger, so I could carry a larger cooler. Packing a melon on board is a problem, so I have to settle for watermelon chunks from the supermarket deli. Sadly, not the same thing as the whole melon.

Those conservative talk show hosts do not know what they are missing.

j0lt said...

Beautiful! Love the part about who picks the expiration date.

The last paragraph reminds me of that old saying about how nobody did nothing http://paperclippings.com/literature/poetry/nobody.html

and that kind of getting nothing done is exactly what would happen if people just say fuck it. So yes, IT matters and IT needs to be fixed.

Anonymous said...

Great post! Thing is people could get over "it" if "it" weren't "still alive and kicking ass," as you say. So as long as "it" is still around we should all shine the light on "it" And those who don't get this have not had the experiences that forces one to take out the brightest, biggest illumintion device and shine light into the void of the "ism" darkness.

No one wants to continually bring up the fact that the isms are still with us and that they effect us so profoundly. We're tired of having to point "it" out. We're tired of people who would like to pretend that "it" does not exist. "It" makes life exhausting! We all want to move on with our lives but sometimes the "isms" do keep us from doing just that. They are institutionalied and dangerous.

So to those who don't get this I say to them get over it because we are going to raise our voices until "it" is defeated. I urge them all to fight to defeat "it" them they don't have to hear about "it" anymore.

Peace to all,

brian said...

Thank you Shark Fu!
If I read one more comment that begins...I voted for Obama but... I'm no fan of George Bush but...I'm not a racist but...my head will spin.
Speaking of spin, that's really a late 20th century word for lie. If it needs to be spun, you're telling a lie to begin.
Just like other late 20th century words that don't mean what they say,Politically Correct,The Race Card, Reverse Discrimination,etc.
At least own your opinins, don't try to obfuscate them semantically.

Lisa Blah Blah said...

Oh, ABB, how I love you. That is all.

Rileysdtr said...

Hmm. Thinking back to Latin, I believe the correct plural of "anonymous" is "anonymi."

(dup dee da dee-dee! Anonymi - dup dee dee dee! Anonymi - dup dee da dee da de dee da de dee da da dee da da da da-da-da-da-DAH!)

It's more fun if you can laugh at them.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, we'll get over it when they stop doing it.

We'll get over it when it stops being an issue, when it stops hurting people, when it stops affecting people's lives.

Until then what they mean is "ignore it, because we can't be bothered to stop or make it right"

Antonio said...

Well said. These people want you/us to remain doormats so that they don't have face up to their own prejudices and privilege.

arma said...

You are awesome and I love this post.

Shark-Fu said...

Five years of Latin and you'd think a bitch would know that shit!


I blame it on the limited storage space in my brain...

Miss Trudy said...

Please don't get over it! I love your bitchitude and rants.

Anonymous said...

Yes! This post riled me up and made me smile all at once. When someone tells you to "get over it" in regard to oppression of any kind, that person is treating "it" like it's simply an abstract idea that ceases to exist once one doesn't think about it. Those who have a lot of privilege (ie white able-bodied middle/upper class males) are usually the first ones to get annoyed, defensive, and angry when people try to point out forms of misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc. They tell you to "get over it" because they don't want to feel conscious or guilty of their privilege and power, they don't take your experiences, rights, and feelings seriously, and they think oppression just exists because the oppressed "want" it to. In other words, these privileged assholes think "It's all in your head!"
"It"'s not all in my head, and I'm not getting over "it" either!

AOB said...

Telling someone to get over it is the answer of a small mean mind that has nothing to contribute to any conversation or solution. People using that phrase are arrogant and ignorant.

OK, I remember when my EX father in law told me to get over it when it came out that his favorite son had another wife and baby in Taiwan while married to me.

I have had people tell me to get over it lately as well...concerning lost documentation and records while on a job, the Citibank customer service rep told me to get over it when they raised my interest from 7.99 to 20.99 even though I pay off every month.

Thank you for the post of fuck you to getting over it. My ass has no intention of getting over it. (whatever it is and wherever it is. Ever.


Son of Baldwin said...

I'm black and I don't like watermelon. Not even on a sunny, hot August day. Nope. It makes me nauseous.

However, I do like this blog. I like it a lot. So much so, that I have become a follower.

You, ABB, have charm and wit and intelligence and well I just admire that. Tremendously.

So thank you for this post.

And for the record, I ain't gettin' over shit, much less "it."

Shark-Fu said...

Welcome Son of Baldwin!

A bitch isn't fond of watermelon either, so there are at least two of us!

Rileysdtr said...

Five years? Damn, Sis - even with Catholic high school I only had to do four years....

Our (black) neighbor growing up in Detroit was allergic to watermelon. At one of our block parties my Mom - who has a canteloupe allergy - suggested he salt his melon (no really; the sodium counteracts the allergic enzyme or something but it works) He sprinkled salt on a nice big slice, took a bite, chewed contemplatively for a moment, then shrugged - "THIS is what all the jokes are about?"

Maybe it was the salt.... he did like pickled watermelon rinds.


Thanks Son of Baldwin for posting this on your facebook page. If only I had it in time to hand out to my creative writing class.

Great post!

Shark-Fu said...

Pickled watermelon rinds? Lawd, have mercy! They'll pickle anything...

Shark-Fu said...

Pickled watermelon rinds? Lawd, have mercy! They'll pickle anything...

Anonymous said...

almost every race or group of people has been enslaved and oppressed by their own and other races... this im sure you already know since you seem like an intelligent person, my biggest question would be if you actually believe all the crap you have been spewing? You really think that you and your "people" are in the positions they are in because of others... that is not very responsible of you... blaming others for all of the problems you have with your differences... I have noticed one thing that generally binds people who complain about social injustice... they usually go too far and instead of inspiring they anger, using the same rhetoric over and over again. I ask one question, why should black people as a race be treated specially in america? if your answer is anything other that that they shouldnt, then you are not hoping for equality at all... fuck your race, fuck my race, unless you are deeply rooted in the customs and culture of your familys ancestral homeland, which 99% of the country is not, your "race" doesnt exist. and if you are one of those people who deeply identifies with your race, then you are in limited company. everyone should be treated on an individual basis, and if people actually understood how race is identified, this wouldnt be such an issue. I would highly reccomend you read a book called Imagined Communities. and one more thing, by not getting over it, you are only making things worse for yourself. We all need to get over it, whatever it may be and accept that this world is unavoidably filled with shit to get over, and thats life. you may not like me individually, and i dont like you individually, but race, sexual orientation, and financial level have nothing to do with it... so from one happywhiteathelete to one angryblackbitch i say with the utmost regard... lets get over it together baby.

Shark-Fu said...

Gawd damn it, Anonymous!

Another hour and this bitch would have won $50 off one of the United Church of Bitchitude faithful!

Fuck a duck, why do y'all have to be predictable?!?


Instead of asking why black people or people of color should be treated "special" you should ask why white people still expect special advantages. You should stop looking at the room and wondering why all the black students are sitting together...but that requires some inner work instead of citing someone else's social theory.

I'll refer you back to the post above then advise that you start a new intellectual journey with A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn.


Anonymous said...

I am so glad you posted that rant by the happywhiteathelete because he proves the point we all see except him. He just does not get it. No one, not one person is talking about treating anyone else "special" why do they always jump to this point that only exists in their imagination? We are talking about treating everyone the same with the same rights and advantages. Because of "isms" people are denied jobs, housing, healthcare etc. When will they get it? We are NOT talking about being treated special just being treated as humans, as they are. Goodness me! So much work to be done. So much miseducation, misdirection and spin out there. It is always interesting to me how people spin things into acceptance. He is essentially saying that the "isms" should be accepted. Head shacking and jaw dropping moments continue.

Anonymous said...

fuck your race, fuck my race, unless you are deeply rooted in the customs and culture of your familys ancestral homeland, which 99% of the country is not, your "race" doesnt exist.What was that about anger, Anonymous (the anti-Shark-fu one)??

this im sure you already know since you seem like an intelligent person, my biggest question would be if you actually believe all the crap you have been spewing?Ah, Anonymous says "you SEEM like an intelligent person..."(emphasis mine) while claiming she is stupid and spews a bunch of crap all in the same breath.

We all need to get over it, whatever it may be and accept that this world is unavoidably filled with shit to get over, and thats life.Translation: "Hey, as a white athelete I don't have to deal with a fraction of the shit you do as a woman of color, but I get to tell you that you have to accept your shit life and smile, because I'm a privileged knob!"

so from one happywhiteathelete to one angryblackbitch i say with the utmost regard... lets get over it together baby.Calling a black woman "baby" is the icing on the cake...

Son of Baldwin said...

Are you the LEAST bit surprised at happywhiteathlete's response? He's too immersed in his privilege to understand why what he's saying is utter bullshit.

As my grandmother used to say, "Baby, fish can't see water."

Anonymous said...

awesome post!!! awesome perspective...you clearly have the courage of your convictions unlike the masses of "get over it" type mentalities.....

We are all proud of you!!!!

libhom said...

The whole "get over it" mentality reminds me of the ideology of the rapist or the domestic abuser. It really translates to "shut up and take it."

Belvoir said...

I'm standing and applauding this heartfelt, well-said, mighty post of yours, Shark-Fu. Bravo, sincerely.

Empathy and compassion are very valuable human qualities, and when people show how lacking they are in these qualities, it's a damn shame. "Get over it" seems to show an insensitivity that stinks.

But I imagine people who say such things , who lack empathy, will eventually learn what that lack means when someone shows the same to them, in another context say. I believe in Karma, and yes she's a bitch too!
And you're wonderful.

Carol McCullough said...

Best post ever!

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