Friday, May 15, 2009

An outbreak of verbal malfunctions…

A bitch would like to address several email requests for comment in one post…because its been a long week and bitchitude takes a lot of energy.

That black dyke or Hitchens is a rancid knave…
Christopher Hitchens offered forth a comment regarding Wanda Sykes and her performance at the Correspondents’ Association Dinner the other night.

He clearly was not pleased.

Now, folks should know that Hitch is not at his best when women comedians are the topic.

He thinks women aren’t funny…can’t be funny…and are genetically unable to make anyone laugh.

Keep in mind that he also likes to quote Kipling and ponder which mythological gods were not the result of vaginal birth…but I digress.

Hitch has woman issues...but he is on the record that he finds dykey, Jewish, hefty or combos of all that exceptions to the rule.

"There are more terrible female comedians than there are terrible malecomedians…but there are some impressive ladies out there.” Hitchens/Vanity Fair

“Most of them, though, when you come to review the situation, are hefty or dykeyor Jewish, or some combo of the three.” Hitchens/Vanity Fair

A bitch is almost tempted to cut his throw-back ass some slack. He’s an established knave who had to be uncomfortable at an event that forced him to button up and cover the chest of man-hair that proclaims to the world that he has lots and lots of testosterone.

And there was an open bar.

But I don’t like Hitchens.

9 times out of 10 he’s a peevish little shit...and the 1 exception to that is when he’s being unoriginal.

So, I’m going to call this one like I smell it – Hitchens is a misogynistic, homophobic bigot with a really good agent.

But it doesn’t have to remain that way. There’s hope for everyone!

Mayhap someone will catch Hitch at a sober moment after he’s had some quiet time reading Kipling at a Jews/Women/People of Color/Liberals need not apply gentlemen's club…and after having displayed his man-hair covered chest and mocked women in leadership while telling tall tales about his sexual prowess (shudder) for several hours…and explain to him while he's in that happy mental space that his ass rancid is batting a thousand in the game of getting it wrong and not knowing the new rules.


Moving forward!

That Jew or Proof that they’ve learned nothing from Sen. Allen’s macaca incident…
A certain candidate for the United States Senate from Arkansas experienced a verbal malfunction when referring to Senator Schumer as That Jew whilst addressing what I’m sure he thought was a friendly crowd of fellow We Fear the Chosen People Republicans in Arkansas.
Senator Schumer is Jewish…but someone might want to hip Mr. Hendren to the fact that Schumer isn’t the only Jewish person in Congress.

As a matter of fact, if Arkansas should lose its mind and elect this asshole…and he should get to the Senate chamber and yell out something like “Hey Jew!”…he might want to know that several heads might turn, not all of them Jewish.

’Cause “That Jew” isn’t just an inaccurate statement given the number of Jewish Senators but it's ig’nant as hell too.

Not to mention telling.

Clearly Hendren didn’t get the memo from Congressman Cantor about how the Republican Party is all about being a big tent and welcoming of Jewish Americans.

A bitch wonders if Congressman Cantor got the memo from Hendren and his minions about how they think that big tent spin is bullshit…and ain’t nobody gonna take their guns…and that they feel like Rush Limbaugh is the second coming.


Either way, should Arkansas lose its mind Mr. Hendren of the foot-in-mouth Hendrens will join the 13 members of the United States Senate who are Jewish.

And I’m sure they are just thrilled at that prospect.

Lawd, have mercy...


Anonymous said...

Hitch is good for a laugh, whether you're reading his shit or trying to fuck him, he's always worth a giggle at the attempt.

Anonymous said...

Hitchens is an idiot, a drunk and he isn't funny either.
He's one of those who needs to just go away.
I always enjoy your blog. Thanks for the laughs.

SarahMarian said...

Thank you for this! Wanda Sykes' takedown of Limbaugh made my year. It was so gutsy and perfectly-timed. I knew as soon as she said it that the whining from the right-wing bullies who can dish it out but not take it in would start.

And Hitchens, esp near an open bar ;) is a fool.

Mari said...

I would like to write a few choice words in Nair on Hitchens' chest hair!! I love Wanda, don't mess with her...

Anonymous said...

Why is is that we have to endure all these people with issues who see thier own stupidity as insight that they must share with the rest of us? If I were his agent I would shoot myself. Helping someone like this put together a career is a crime forced upon humanity.

Peace to all

Rileysdtr said...

I enjoy the cerebral side of Mr. Hitchens (there is one, ya just gotta' pay attention) and I will say he does not lack for bravery. For someone convinced there is no afterlife whatsoever to voluntarily undergo waterboarding so as to to write an article for Vanity Fair, well - that takes courage.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea what Wonda said about Rush. She is right and she is hilarrious thus proving that this Hitchens is just a HACK!!!! Why does it matter to him if she is a lesbian what does that have to do with him. Maybe he is angry because she is actually funny and he is actually not! He is just hating on people and that is not humerous. His comedy is not based in actual thought therefore, it appeals to the lowest common denominator of folks. Just because a person gets paid doesn't mean they have much to offer. Haters like him do not offer us much. Except a view of how not to behave in the world. He is a study for the rest of us, living his hate filled life out in front of the world. We all watch and just shake our heads because it is just sad.

Shark-Fu said...

I dunno, Rileysdtr.

A fool from a different angle looks brave...but he's still a damn fool.

As for his cerebral side, a bitch thinks all praise should go to his editors...

Shark-Fu said...

Off topic - Blackhawks v Wings?

Ooooh, la la!

laBiscuitnapper said...

Oh thank god I thought I was the only one...

The thing with Hitchens is that he's good at what he does... and what he does is bandwagon like crazy (anti-PC is hot today? Check. Anti-theism*? Check. Neo conservativism? Check). It's actually quite a feat that he's managed to take the people that he has for such a ride.

And I have nothing against anti-theism. It's just when noone saw through him I was like, 'I thought you people were more intelligent?' *sighs* Another delusion shattered.

Unknown said...

Hitchens...good gawd..please don't get me started on that fucktard of the highest order..please Shark Fu! ;)

He needed some press, it's always the same reason..he needed some face time..that surly, disgusting idiot.

Anonymous said...

I think you're all taking Hitchens too seriously.

Rileysdtr said...

Ha! Ooh-la-la is right. The Dearly Beloved and I sat about a foot away from the TV on the edge of our seats for all of yesterday's game. Now THAT was playoff hockey! Of course, we are temporarily in different tribes, but I was cheering Khabiboulin's saves and she was rooting for Cleary to get the hatrick, so we kept peace in the house (more or less). We also have a unified rallying cry - Go Blackwings! Go Redhawks! Whomever wins we'll be (mostly) happy and cheer in unison for the Stanley Cup.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of outbreak... 5,123 cases of swine flu in the US; 5 deaths. Why isn't the news covering this anymore?

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