Monday, December 05, 2005


Okay, so a bitch just figured out that my ass was mentioned on Shit, a bitch didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and my ass is a wee bit slow today.

Cool…welcome people!

Hammer/Che…a bitch wasn’t addressing you in particular. Relax, honey. Pax!

If a bitch seems extra angry today it is due to some additional drama regarding my beloved brother Bill.

Loyal readers know that a bitch’s brother Bill is autistic and in residential care. This bitch has posted long and hard about the frustrations centering on Medicaid, residential politics and guardianship. Well…

A bitch was ill Saturday…a migraine, which has thankfully entered its final phase. Anyhoo, this bitch was unable to participate in my weekly visit with Bill. Sunday, a bitch woke up weak and queasy. Slightly better, but not 100%. Late morning, a bitch’s sister received a phone call from my brother’s residence.

"Bill had an incident."

Wait…let me back up.

"Call me as soon as you get this message!"

Which, by the way, is the last motherfucking thing anyone should say to two stressed out sisters in charge of their older brother’s oversight. Bill is basically non-verbal, so we tend to freak when some dumbass leaves a “call as soon as you can” message.

So, a bitch’s sister calls and is informed that Bill got into a fight with his roommate. Now, Bill has only whooped one person’s ass…my cousin, who had stepped to my sister, was convinced to never do that shit again by an irate Bill way back in the day. Bill is not a fighter and typically vents his frustrations on himself.

We were informed that Bill had fallen and cut his eye.

Oh shit. Oh Gawd. No, no, no, no, no...!

Thankfully, we quickly got another call. Bill’s was out with a friend for a visit and they stopped by. We took pictures of the eye and tried to calm his friend down, who had walked in on the drama and was freaked out that everything had been so chaotic. Bill feasted on cookies and coffee while we tried to figure out what the fuck went down.

Suffice it to say, the migraine came back with a vengeance.

Cell phones were blown up, messages were left and a bitch shot off two e-mails for good measure.

Gawd, will this ever end? Will a bitch ever wake up and know that there is nothing to worry about or obsess over? All my ass needs is one month…shit, one week free of drama.

So, today a bitch woke up at 5:30am…stressed and nauseous. A bitch’s sister had called for a conference call. She’s terribly busy and preparing to travel this week. Now, a bitch has the added concern of a bitch’s sister’s stress and my stress coupled with our brother’s prize fighting left eye!


Anyhoo…please send well wishes and positivitude to a bitch. We have a meeting at 4pm…

Lawd, give me strength…


Mahala said...

May you receive all the well wishes and positivitude you require to make it through. I'm dying to know who got whooped and why.

Hammer said...

Hey ABB...I figured you weren't addressing me in particular. I hoped I should say. I mean, I'm not ready to feel the totality of your wrath...haha not that that would necessarily stop me from provoking it.

So, I hope that everything works out with your brother. You have my positive, ever-flowing, energy. I'll smoke a cig and send the buzz mixed with cold air your way!


Susan D. said...

My sis-in-law is also handicapped, non-verbal, and living in assisted residential care. Every now and then we get one of those calls too. Believe me, I know what you're going through and it's not easy. Hang in there, and positive vibes to your brother and his banged-up eye!

Anonymous said...


That message leaver needs lessons. This will ALL be easy for me to say, but remember, I do this stuff for a living.

For your stess levels sake try not to let it get to you til you get the facts. You need to assess them with a clear head.

Please as always feel free to email me if you need my input.

You are so strong. Take care.


Maidy said...

Hey Shark (or ABB - whichever you prefer)

I do hope this comment finds you feeling at the least a slight bit better.

Prayers and positive thoughts are always sent your way from Philly. In this case, we'll make it a double!

We're here for you.

Chalicechick said...

Actually, Rebecca Traister has mentoned you a few times.

I found you through live two months ago.


AOB said...

I love you bitch. Prayers and GOOD VIBES to your ass while you deal with those freaky motherfuckers that have THEIR heads up their asses

Anonymous said...

I found you via Salon and couldn't agree more with your take on King Kong. Hollywood is so bereft of new ideas, they've resorted to recycling even the bad ones. Incidentally, don't go too easy on Peter Jackson. Lord of the Rings is a piece of fascist crap too. All good thoughts to you and your brother. Incidentally, have you read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime by Mark Haddon? It's a very cool window into the mindspace of a young man with Asberger's.

Stay bitchy!

thatfarmgirl said...

Positive thoughts always being sent your way from out here in low-tooth-per-head-ratio land. Alas, this is the stuff life is made of, though you seem to have more than your fair share.

BarefootCajun said...

Oh man, drama like that sucks. I am so sorry you guys are so stressed.

I have one word to say about the migraines - Axert. My doc just gave me a script and it works wonders. Twenty minutes tops and my migraine is gone.

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