Sunday, September 25, 2005

A bitch's vacation has begun...

A bitch is still trying to recover from Blood Ray’s Wicked birthday bash!

A certain AbsolutBilly made a bitch a rather strong vodka cran…which this bitch consumed at the intermission…on an empty stomach. Nuff said.

Note to self – live blogging requires slight sobriety.

Anyhoo, a bitch was able to make one post before the spins set in! Fuck it…my ass had fun and a bitch’s vacation was kicked off in style. Brother Rob Thurman will be guest blogging for a bitch all week…as my ass has said before, he’s not black but he is bitchy.

Go on with your bad self, Rob Thurman! Practice that bitchitude, honey child!

Moving forward…

Thank you to everyone who called my ass out for not having blog rolled my own motherfucking Café Press store. Yes, my ass is weird like that. Yes, a bitch has taken care of that shit. Now shut up!

2 cups coffee with Splenda and 1% organic milk, followed by 2 Excedrin, 1 Claritin, 2 real motherfucking Sudafed (Yes!) and a yummy breakfast from McDonalds to settle my fucked up stomach…

Meet the Press…
A bitch was up early, which is typical for me after a night of debauchery. My ass was surprised to see the President of Jefferson Parish on Meet the Press again. He was the dude who went off a few Sunday’s ago and then broke down and cried. Specifically, he related a tale about how a member of his staff lost his mother due to the government’s lack of response to Katrina.

It was moving, chil’ren. His anger was…well…it was impressive and that’s saying a lot coming from my angry black ass.

Russert attempted to call Mr. Jefferson Parish out on a couple of factual inconsistencies in the story. Was it Friday or Saturday when the elderly woman died? How many phone calls did the staff member make?

This bitch was just about to get uneasy…a bitch has grown fond of the President of Jefferson Parish and feels that he’s a definite bitch…when Mr. Jefferson Parish struck back!

“Are you going to sit there in New York City or wherever you are and debate me over what happened here? I was told about the death of my staff member’s mother by another staff member! I was not going to interrogate a man about the fact of this and that when he just lost his mother! What kind of people go out there and try to stir up dirt on an issue like this! A woman died!”

A bitch hit pause, smiled, sipped my coffee and settled down.

“I’m not going to have someone who is in a building with working toilets and electricity try to debate me on what happened here! Listen, I’m more than happy to have this discussion. Call me in a year. Right now, I’ve only had three hours sleep and this is not going to happen. I’ve got a job to do, Tim.”

Okay, a bitch has embellished a bit but the gist was the same.

This bitch has had enough of the disdain and disregard being demonstrated by the right. Who are these bloggers trying to poke holes in every story that comes out about a person getting fucked over by Scooter’s handling of Katrina? Mmmmhmmm…that’s right chil’ren. Online minions with blogs...yep, those fuckers!

Hey assholes!

People, a lot of fucking people, died. People, a lot of fucking people, have lost everything they have.

Personally, my ass enjoys watching these assholes demonstrate their assholia. A bitch is thrilled that the party of family values and moral whateverthefuck is running around debating the who, what, when and where of a man’s grief at the loss of his mother. As if Scooter will suddenly be washed clean of the smear of ineptitude because some asshole with a blog is able to prove that only five phone calls where made to the nursing home instead of ten. How many desperate phone calls does it take for desperation to register with these sick fucks? How many days of decomposition and neglect count…does a body have to be left for three days or four…does it have to be found floating or on a fucking overpass?

Jesus to Gawd, this “angle” stinks on ice!

And it does nothing to absolve Scooter or his minions. Nothing, even the distance of time, will do that…

To the online minions with blogs on the right…this isn’t a sloppy blow job kinda problem. This is a massive loss of life while the whole world was watching kinda problem.


Then log the fuck off…


Bougie Black Boy said...

where you been hiding, babe?

It's Me, Maven... said...

"Assholia" made me think of that line from Pink Flamingoes with Divine: "You have been found guilty of supreme (or is it extreme?) assholeness. Your punishmen will now begin."

Enjoy the vacay and have a vodka cram (more vodka than cran, pleaes) for me:)

Absolut Billy said...

who knew EVERYONE doesnt drink 80/20 vodka vs cran in their drinks?

sources4choice said...

I saw the Jefferson Parish man and was so happy that he handled the inane insinuations the way he did. I am so glad he got angry at the people who were questioning his facts and the "newsman" who was asking them. Your point is correct how many calls did there have to be, how many days had to go by. Scooter is an idiot and it shows. Thing is, it has always shown! Why is it that it is only now that people are seeing this? I saw some show where one New York Times writer had the nerve to form his mouth and say that Scooter is compassionate and cares about the poor. Where is the evidence of this?! I could not believe what I was hearing. He should have been called to task on that statement. What an idiot!

What do you all think? Is scooter compasionate? Have you seen the evidence? Iquiring minds need to know.

baby cribs said...

It seems that you had a remarkable vacation. I have been waiting for this post. Thank god that you are here blogging again.