Hello my darlings! I’m back from my brief mental vacation and a bitch is diving straight in…
Last night, while I was beating Karl Rove…just the way he likes it (handcuffed, arms and legs stretched out wide, and paddled over and over and over), a bitch’s mind moved on to the gleeful anticipation of Tom Cruise blowing himself up on the Today Show Friday morning. I haven’t anticipated a television segment this much since Oprah facilitated Cojo’s Revenge! As I paddled, a bitch simply couldn’t stop wondering how ugly Tom would be. Would Tom molest that child on television? Would Katie Holmes make a break for it? My beating took on an evil vengeance, as I got more and more excited about Friday….
Oh, the beating of Karl Rove thing?
Haven’t you ever had the same dream over and over? A bitch beats Rove in full Technicolor almost every night.
ABB – wet black leather
Karl – pasty and buck-naked.
I like to think that he enjoys it as much as I do.
A bitch shot up with a smile this morning. Coffee was made and the television prompted.
And there was Matt Lauer…and Tom…and Katie Holmes, looking very Patty Hearst meets Kristy McNichol.
Highlights include, but are not limited to…
“I’m just living my life.”, which made a bitch wonder is Tom is in the midst of a tragic remake of Madonna’s Truth or Dare. Love that movie....love it!
“It comes down to the movie. It always comes down to the movie…” Yes Tom. Sadly, it does.
But nothing could compare to the sparing match that took place in Segment 2 between Matt and Tom. A bitch has to give it to Cruise…he’s unrepentant. But his defiant defense of his position on post partum depression and psychology just rubbed my black ass the wrong way.
Tom, a bitch would like to chat with you. See, I feel that you mistake diction for education. Saying something with passion does not make it fact. Using “special science” to denounce psychology doesn’t make your point. And getting that mad over someone not agreeing with your opinion…well, that makes you look like a cultish freak. Sorry, honey. It does.
A bitch is not a defender of the over-prescription of meds to children. But my ass sure knew a few kids in school that needed something…whisky or vodka or ritilin…something!
What really pisses me off is the assumption that only "Tom Cruise" and his minions have “done the research” into psychology and meds and life and evolution and so on and so on. You pretentious fuck! You uneducated ignorant little shit! I know binge drinking frat boys who have a greater grasp of psychology than your ass. Jesus, have you ever even sat through Psych 101?
Tom, have you ever been in the room with a hyperactive child? Not “he needs to run more” hyperactive. No, my ass is referring to “Jesus, this lil'shit isn’t normal!!” hyperactivity. The kind that makes parents consider murder…seriously. No, I didn’t think so.
But you don’t care, do you Tom? You’re just living your life and vocally judging anyone who thinks or does differently than you do. It’s that hypocrisy that pisses me the fuck off. You sit there looking like a strung out freak mouthing off about how you don’t think about other people or what other people think about you. Then your dumb ass launches into a tirade on what other people do. Like you have some sort of PhD. in the science of life…which you don’t… you dumb fucking shit!
Yes, Tom. It does come back to the movies. Your movies suck. So a bitch would like to recommend that you cease molesting chil’ren and ranting against evildoers. How about picking up acting? You haven't done that for years! Or go be happy behind closed doors. Fuck you and your strung out new fuck of the week.
It all comes down to the movie, Tom.
It's all about the movie...
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