Monday, June 27, 2005

The art of making others cry...

A bitch is trying to recover from a weekend spent baking in the St. Louis humidity. Why did people ever settle this region on the country? Jesus! Anyhoo, a bitch technically has the day off but fled the home to allow for the uninterrupted completion of the project that shall not be named.


Anyhoo, a bitch is taking the opportunity to catch up on a pile of volunteer paper work. Yeah! Jesus to God, a bitch just adores drafting memos to clarify what is already clear to a bunch of self-induced retardation having sub-bitches who my ass plans to kick sharply to the curb come October! Glorious! Oh, and relaxing too! Yeah…good times!

Chil’ren, let a bitch tell you…life is suffering.

Moving on quickly before reality sinks in...

Watching the Sunday chats over the weekend, a bitch was fascinated by the finely tuned mental manipulation techniques of the neo-cons. These motherfuckers are good! Trust me. A bitch has been manipulated by one person or another for most of my life. My ass has seen it all! From crying and exaggerating an emotional response to some nugget of truth a bitch dropped too accurately to shouting and overacting in angry response to something that really wasn’t worthy of that level of anger, my ass could run a clinic on how to ramp it up and get what you want while trampling on the emotional core of others. People, under pressure, will do almost anything to!


As I was saying, those neo-cons are very good at the fine art of making others cry then apologize for crying.

Any blog hopper knows that “neo-con”, “conservative” and “Republican” all are used interchangeably. The term “neo-con” is best defined by Rove or Ann Coulter (what a little kitten she is!). “Conservative” is more William F. Buckley or Bob Novak…yeah, woman hating fascists who don’t give a fucking shit about you and your lack of health care as long as they can seize power without governmental regulation and jerk each other off in the sauna without being called gay. And “Republicans” are mostly the confused conservative masses who follow the lead of the best shit talker of the moment, be that a neo-con or a conservative.

The same flip flop of terms applies to “Democrats”, “liberals” and “progressives”.

Knowing that the interchangability of these terms could work in his favor, Rove dropped one of his pretty little verbal pimp slaps at some “We hate therefore we are” dinner last week. My little spanking buddy apparently said some evil little shit about “liberals” wanting to burp terrorists rather than bomb them into submission. The crowd roared and his dick got hard, so this was a win/win kind of statement.

The minions came out for both sides.

“Stop calling me names!” wined the liberal talking heads.

“I wasn’t talking about you, but don’t tell me what to say!” shouted to conservative defenders of the cause.

And so forth and so on.

Now, Rove was talking about Democrats. The bullshit party line that he was referring to Move-On is…well…bullshit. A bitch would respect him more if he claimed that shit like a grown-up, but Karl is a passive little shit. That’s why he makes such and ideal submissive…oh, in my dreams of course…in my naughty little dreams…

But a bitch must admit that this kind of “can I still make you jump” manipulation is brilliant! See, Karl was testing to see if Democrats still dive at that shit. And they dove! They took to the airwaves wining and keening for him to resign (yeah, and give up the shadow Presidency? Not!) or apologize (for making you dumb asses take to the airwaves and make like a nerd tattling to teacher? Not!). Liberals are strung out and skittish. Karl just wanted to confirm that for future use.

Having survived some of the most systematic and ritualized mental manipulation (my mother 1973-2002), a bitch would like to offer the following responses for use the next time Karl or his minions decide to flex.

ABB’s Manipulation Responses to neo-con Manipulation

Reverse Condemnation - When a neo-con calls you un-American for not supporting the war in Iraq. (Note – be careful on this one. You must not actually embrace the war…the trick is to flip the emotional coin.)

“First of all allow me to say…fuck you! When you enlist and take up arms come back and talk to my ass about “supporting our troops”! Do you have children? Have they enlisted? Have you done an Army recruitment drive at your church? Well I find that lack of personal sacrifice disturbing! I suggest that you indulge in some self-reflection on just how “American” you are! So, fuck you and your do-nothing and shed-no-blood yellow ribbon collecting ass!"

The Complete Lie – When neo-cons say things like “liberals don’t believe in war”. (Warning – this is a level 3 manipulation that should be practiced by experienced bitches willing to lie at the drop of a dime).

Say this softly and without passion…

“I love a just war. I’d take up arms tomorrow if we invaded the “real” enemy. I don’t appreciate the assumption that my lack of enthusiasm for this war equates to a lack of enthusiasm for all war. Personally, I find invading the wrong country because you have a personal financial interest in the real enemy country to be the very definition of un-American. But what do I know? I’m just a tax paying, Social Security contributing, family’s been here since before the Civil War fucking American. Now, leave me. Your divisive presence disturbs the air…”

Or you could just tell them to fuck off.

Just stop reacting, because that makes the manipulation pay off. These fuckers are bad enough without a hoard of liberals enabling their habit.

So speaketh the bitch…


Catherine Vocalist said...

ABB, you're the best! I loved your post! :)

fahren said...

my nose is a foot long now. i should have took your advice. that level 3 is a bitch. . .

Da Professa said...

Could a bitch comment on what WOULD constitute an effective movement?

Not that I disagee with your "Move-on" commentary because I understand their fundamental weaknesses.(even though I am a card carrying member when I think they are right) On the other hand...AT LEAST they are doing someTHING in an organized fashion. Alas that is neither here nor there....a aggiN just wants to know what you think is an effective/worthwhile polictical action group?
(Yes, yes,..that statement is all but an oxymoron these days but since this request is ivory tower type fodder, could we just ignore the contradiction for the moment.)

Jeff said...

Oh, please. No, I do not--repeat, do NOT--want to think about Karl Rove in any state of priapic excitement. Eww. I think I need to go bathe now.

It's Me, Maven... said...

I still don't understand the thought process behind being unpatriotic if one doesn't support the big lie, I mean, the "war."

Additionally, I've noticed a spate of blogs and sites on the 'net which involve the words, "I want to fuck Ann Coulter in the ass." I'm mildly disturbed that I actually would want to SEE that act in progress:)

CrankyProf said...

Fundraising PPV, baby. If you made it a double-header (HAW!), with the opening act being ABB spanking her boy Karl, it'd be a blockbuster.

Think of the video/DVD sales.

Eric said...

Please, please, PLEASE teach a sincere little singer how to become an angry black bitch.
I'm male and white, but I somehow don't think you'd let that stop you...

Shark-fu said...

Eric - you've got the hair. Just 'fro it up a bit. As for the anger, well that has to be natural. As unhealthy as it may seem, my ass is actually pissed most of the time. You will have to remain white, but with practice you may earn an honorary black badge. Get to it! Frown a lot and keep reading my blog!

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