Yesterday this bitch went to the dentist with my brother Bill.
Newish readers should know that Bill is autistic and my sister and this bitch are co-guardians.
So, yesterday we went to the dentist…Bill and this bitch.
Oh, and newish readers should also know that Bill loves to eat and loves to list off the things he loves to eat. Bill doesn’t speak in sentences, so he just keeps rattling off his favorite foods over and over again while looking you dead in the eye as if he were negotiating a cease fire between nations at war.
He’s the oldest of the three of us and…well, we’re not chil’ren anymore (wince) so fast food yumminess has become a "sometimes food" indulgence thus making the listing of such foods in hopes of getting them serious business.
Yeah, so yesterday we went to the dentist…a bitch and Bill.
Wait!
I should add that we were able to get dental coverage for Bill through C-Money's insurance (he had been without it because certain shameless anti-family evil Republican motherfuckers cut dental rather than cut the pork) so this was the first consultation visit with a new dentist. Bill is profoundly autistic…hates change…and has the patience of a 2 year old three hours into a 6 hour car ride to see Barney on Ice.
Cough.
Anyhoo, yesterday I went to the dentist with Bill.
The visit went very well. Bill was in great spirits, enjoyed the fact that the waiting room had a ton of magazines and really liked his new dentist. The assistant and dentist even enjoyed Bill’s random lobbying for pizza ever two seconds (pizza is the new “it” food).
“Pizza."
"Open wide."
"Pizza."
"Move your tongue."
"Pizza, pizza, pizza!"
Lawd, have mercy.
After the appointment I handled the paperwork associated with the new insurance while Bill sat and looked at more magazines. I felt a feeling…a certain solidity that comes from knowing that a needed thing is covered.
That feeling was just beginning to register when the waiting room door opened and…I kid you not…a pizza delivery man entered carrying one of those keep shit hot containers stacked with yummified pizza!
Bill almost fainted…his eyes went huge…he looked at me with such amazement that I thought the man would cry!
“No, no…not for us, Bill.” I said softly, fearing that he’d have a fit when he realized his baby sister hadn’t granted his ultimate pizza-based dream.
But Bill just grunted, took a long sorrowful sniff and went back to his magazine.
Mercy!
After years of worry, anxious check-ups and fretful budgeting….after years of attending appointments as a guardian/advocate/case manager/hell raiser…after all that shit, yesterday I went to the dentist with my brother.
His name is Bill.
His teeth look great.
And the only thing I worried about was whether he’d tackle the pizza delivery man.
Amazing, but it shouldn't be.
That feeling...that ability to just be a sister caring for her brother?
That shit needs to be universal.
Friday, July 13, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Triangular Bullshit…
Lawd, have mercy!
Our project to respond to the rancidity of HB 1055 here in Missouri is picking up pace!
Thank you FiredDogLake for helping spread the word!
I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know that there are so many of us out there who are disgusted with this legislation and willing to act.
Y’all are amazing and a bitch can’t wait to work with you on this project.
I’ll be ironing out some specifics over the next week and you know a bitch will keep y’all updated.
Keep those recommendations and examples coming!
Moving forward fired up with the power of the people…
Triangular Bullshit...
When this bitch was a wee bitch I was a champion bullshit artist.
Blink.
Fuck it, I was!
I utilized some serious spin when it came to my report card…which often reflected my lack of dedication to math and science (wince). Both of my parents were mathematically inclined…and both of them saw right through my spin to the bullshit beneath.
Sigh.
But I still tried…still made my pitch that the teacher was an asshole or that I was allergic to math. My parents always went ballistic over that shit…they were more angry about the bullshit-based spin than the actual grade!
That didn’t make sense to until I was much older, but they wanted to teach me that my bullshit delayed my ability to address my failures in math…that by spinning rather than being honest I was denying myself two at-home math tutors…and that saying you don’t have a problem and not taking responsibility will not make the problem or the responsibility go away.
Blink.
Which brings me to Scooter B. of the unable to admit he needs help with math Bush debacle of an administration…and his press conference, in which he tried to spin sorta-achieving 8 of 18 benchmarks as “satisfactory progress”.
Nation (wink), this president needs a tutor...mayhap the Sylvan Learning Center of war policy?
Whatever...anything...because shit like this is getting us nowhere!
"Our strategy is built on the premise that progress in security will pave the way for political progress, so it's not surprising that political progress is lagging behind the security gains we're seeing."
Cough.
That reminds me of when I took Geometry and, upon receiving my dismal midterm exam, insisted that no one should be required to prove a square to be a square and they certainly shouldn’t have to prove it more than once!
Blink.
Which was triangular bullshit…and it didn’t work (just ask C-Money, who have the joy of tutoring me in Geometry, bless her).
Isn’t it just as easy to say that the lack of political progress is leading to the increase in violence…and that political progress would greatly improve conditions on the ground?
Oh, but the beauty of triangular bullshit is that it reinforces itself!
Examples...
I got assigned Geometry problems + I refused to admit that I alone could not change the rules of Geometry = I almost fucking flunked Geometry (wince) & used that to prove I'm allergic to math.
Okay...ummm, that didn't work.
Iraq is violent + we blame the violence for the lack of political progress + the Iraqi government refuses to pull it together = Iraq remains violent with no political progress and we remain in Iraq because it is violent.
Ugh! That doesn't work either!
Fuck it. Top that bullshit off with a dollop of "we'll stand down when they stand up" and...well, that's a dish that would have made McNamara proud.
Cough.
The source of triangular bullshit is the immature insecurity-based inability to admit that you don’t have the answer…that you can’t prove that square to be a square...and that you have royally fucked up the Geometry workbook…ummm, err…the war.
We should have never taken this class but, after signing up for it, we sure as shit should have requested a tutor.
But we’re in Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda Territory now, chil’ren.
Kinda looks like a proof for fubar to this bitch...
Our project to respond to the rancidity of HB 1055 here in Missouri is picking up pace!
Thank you FiredDogLake for helping spread the word!
I can’t tell you how much it means to me to know that there are so many of us out there who are disgusted with this legislation and willing to act.
Y’all are amazing and a bitch can’t wait to work with you on this project.
I’ll be ironing out some specifics over the next week and you know a bitch will keep y’all updated.
Keep those recommendations and examples coming!
Moving forward fired up with the power of the people…
Triangular Bullshit...
When this bitch was a wee bitch I was a champion bullshit artist.
Blink.
Fuck it, I was!
I utilized some serious spin when it came to my report card…which often reflected my lack of dedication to math and science (wince). Both of my parents were mathematically inclined…and both of them saw right through my spin to the bullshit beneath.
Sigh.
But I still tried…still made my pitch that the teacher was an asshole or that I was allergic to math. My parents always went ballistic over that shit…they were more angry about the bullshit-based spin than the actual grade!
That didn’t make sense to until I was much older, but they wanted to teach me that my bullshit delayed my ability to address my failures in math…that by spinning rather than being honest I was denying myself two at-home math tutors…and that saying you don’t have a problem and not taking responsibility will not make the problem or the responsibility go away.
Blink.
Which brings me to Scooter B. of the unable to admit he needs help with math Bush debacle of an administration…and his press conference, in which he tried to spin sorta-achieving 8 of 18 benchmarks as “satisfactory progress”.
Nation (wink), this president needs a tutor...mayhap the Sylvan Learning Center of war policy?
Whatever...anything...because shit like this is getting us nowhere!
"Our strategy is built on the premise that progress in security will pave the way for political progress, so it's not surprising that political progress is lagging behind the security gains we're seeing."
Cough.
That reminds me of when I took Geometry and, upon receiving my dismal midterm exam, insisted that no one should be required to prove a square to be a square and they certainly shouldn’t have to prove it more than once!
Blink.
Which was triangular bullshit…and it didn’t work (just ask C-Money, who have the joy of tutoring me in Geometry, bless her).
Isn’t it just as easy to say that the lack of political progress is leading to the increase in violence…and that political progress would greatly improve conditions on the ground?
Oh, but the beauty of triangular bullshit is that it reinforces itself!
Examples...
I got assigned Geometry problems + I refused to admit that I alone could not change the rules of Geometry = I almost fucking flunked Geometry (wince) & used that to prove I'm allergic to math.
Okay...ummm, that didn't work.
Iraq is violent + we blame the violence for the lack of political progress + the Iraqi government refuses to pull it together = Iraq remains violent with no political progress and we remain in Iraq because it is violent.
Ugh! That doesn't work either!
Fuck it. Top that bullshit off with a dollop of "we'll stand down when they stand up" and...well, that's a dish that would have made McNamara proud.
Cough.
The source of triangular bullshit is the immature insecurity-based inability to admit that you don’t have the answer…that you can’t prove that square to be a square...and that you have royally fucked up the Geometry workbook…ummm, err…the war.
We should have never taken this class but, after signing up for it, we sure as shit should have requested a tutor.
But we’re in Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda Territory now, chil’ren.
Kinda looks like a proof for fubar to this bitch...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
The pizza delivery man, a ‘how the hell did they convince anyone to do that shit’ plot and an indictment…
Longtime readers know that this bitch has been fascinated by the pizza delivery bomb around the neck explosion in the street story from…well, from the moment the pizza delivery man blew up on the street.
What?
A bitch is a crime buff and there is no way in hell the news that a pizza delivery person was forced at gun point to secure a bomb around his neck and walk into a bank to rob it only to blow up on live television while begging for his life wouldn’t capture my attention.
Anyhoo…
After the initial news of the failed robbery turned explosion broke the story kind of died.
Now we have news of an indictment!
Get this…the feds are alleging that a woman came up with the bomb ‘round the neck forced bank robbery scheme to fund the murder of her father.
Blink.
Brian Wells, the pizza delivery person, is alleged to have know one of the folks connected to the woman and the plot so the feds are also connecting the now dead Wells to the crime that resulted in his death on the street by neck bomb!
Blink again.
But the feds didn't give any information as to why they think Brian Wells conspired with the woman and man indicted to participate in this robbery...which leaves this bitch still wondering how the hell they convinced Wells to strap on that neck bomb and go forth to rob.
Sigh.
A bitch has a gut feeling (wink) that my ass is going to have to wait for Bill Kurtis to break this shit down on American Justice.
What?
A bitch is a crime buff and there is no way in hell the news that a pizza delivery person was forced at gun point to secure a bomb around his neck and walk into a bank to rob it only to blow up on live television while begging for his life wouldn’t capture my attention.
Anyhoo…
After the initial news of the failed robbery turned explosion broke the story kind of died.
Now we have news of an indictment!
Get this…the feds are alleging that a woman came up with the bomb ‘round the neck forced bank robbery scheme to fund the murder of her father.
Blink.
Brian Wells, the pizza delivery person, is alleged to have know one of the folks connected to the woman and the plot so the feds are also connecting the now dead Wells to the crime that resulted in his death on the street by neck bomb!
Blink again.
But the feds didn't give any information as to why they think Brian Wells conspired with the woman and man indicted to participate in this robbery...which leaves this bitch still wondering how the hell they convinced Wells to strap on that neck bomb and go forth to rob.
Sigh.
A bitch has a gut feeling (wink) that my ass is going to have to wait for Bill Kurtis to break this shit down on American Justice.
Pondering gut feelings…
A bitch heard that a certain Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff spilled his guts to the Chicago Tribune yesterday.
Blink.
What?
Oh, ummm…he shared his gut feeling about impending doom, death and destruction his...ummm, gut...feels will hit America this summer.
You will find the transcript of Nostradamus Chertoff’s gut-based predictions here.
A bitch’s first reaction shared with Theo the BayMaster & Betsey the sorta beagle while sipping coffee this morning…
“A billion dollar budget and this motherfucker is still working off of gut feelings? Jesus!”
The sorta beagles’ joint response was to continue snoring loudly, belly up on the couch.
A bitch’s next reaction when the same gut-tastic revelation was shared yet again by a rather alarmed Tony Harris on CNN (hey Harris, calm the fuck down for the love of all that’s not morning radio!)…
“Isn’t this the same motherfucker who claimed that the government couldn’t predict the Katrina disaster even though folks had predicted a Katrina-esque disaster? Isn’t this that same asshole? Lawd, have mercy. If his gut is correct the nation will have to suffer from the inadequacies of his mind sooner rather than later!”
The sorta beagles continued to snore while this bitch made a mental note to check our 'your government will not be there for you should a disaster strike' provisions and sweep out the 'Michael Chertoff is a cover thy ass and deny, deny followed by deny shameless cronified asshole' flee to bunker.
Blink.
What?
Oh, ummm…he shared his gut feeling about impending doom, death and destruction his...ummm, gut...feels will hit America this summer.
You will find the transcript of Nostradamus Chertoff’s gut-based predictions here.
A bitch’s first reaction shared with Theo the BayMaster & Betsey the sorta beagle while sipping coffee this morning…
“A billion dollar budget and this motherfucker is still working off of gut feelings? Jesus!”
The sorta beagles’ joint response was to continue snoring loudly, belly up on the couch.
A bitch’s next reaction when the same gut-tastic revelation was shared yet again by a rather alarmed Tony Harris on CNN (hey Harris, calm the fuck down for the love of all that’s not morning radio!)…
“Isn’t this the same motherfucker who claimed that the government couldn’t predict the Katrina disaster even though folks had predicted a Katrina-esque disaster? Isn’t this that same asshole? Lawd, have mercy. If his gut is correct the nation will have to suffer from the inadequacies of his mind sooner rather than later!”
The sorta beagles continued to snore while this bitch made a mental note to check our 'your government will not be there for you should a disaster strike' provisions and sweep out the 'Michael Chertoff is a cover thy ass and deny, deny followed by deny shameless cronified asshole' flee to bunker.
Mercy.
Because of the after that always follows...
A bitch was beyond busy yesterday!
A day full of to-dos and have to-dos turned into a day spent in frenzy.
Sigh.
But I was able to spend a soothing evening watching my new favorite television channel, Ovation. Ovation is the shit…an entire channel dedicated to fine art! A bitch can’t speak to all of the programming, but Ovation had a night of Beat generation documentaries this past Monday and followed up last night with Melvin Van Peebles in a documentary about blaxploitation in film.
Fantabulous.
A bitch tips my TiVo remote to thee, Ovation!
Moving forward…
A bitch is in the process of pulling together a plan for my grassroots organization to address Missouri’s medieval law banning comprehensive sex ed from public schools and restricting access to reproductive medical care or counseling throughout the state.
Look for more information on this project in upcoming posts.
A couple of trolls asked…well, it was more like a demand (y’all need to work on your home training)…why a bitch dare try to impose my values on others.
Blink.
Although I am tempted to point out that my anger is in response to Governor Blunt imposing his values on others and to the Missouri legislature drafting a law that encourages ignorance, denies the known data on sex education and is a de facto declaration of war on women…cough…I’m going to go with the following reply instead.
This bitch gives a shit about HB 1055 because of the after that always follows.
I give a shit because I am an activist in my community who has seen what Matt Blunt would have to visit the ‘hood to see (but Lawd knows he prefers to meet his black people photo op quota in more tranquil suburban settings).
I am haunted by women who found out about reproductive options after they became pregnant…who found out about stds after they tested positive…who found out about their worth after they were exploited.
This bitch is there for the after that always follows legislation like HB 1055.
I’m at the shelter you will not fund that is filled to capacity with young mothers in search of the housing you will not approve.
I hold the babies you lost interest in the moment they were born.
I comfort the mothers…the women…my sisters who you will not mentor, volunteer to teach or employ.
So you can bet your ignorant trollified ass I’m going to teach the classes you have attempted to ban through HB 1055.
Got that?
Good.
Now get thee gone…
A day full of to-dos and have to-dos turned into a day spent in frenzy.
Sigh.
But I was able to spend a soothing evening watching my new favorite television channel, Ovation. Ovation is the shit…an entire channel dedicated to fine art! A bitch can’t speak to all of the programming, but Ovation had a night of Beat generation documentaries this past Monday and followed up last night with Melvin Van Peebles in a documentary about blaxploitation in film.
Fantabulous.
A bitch tips my TiVo remote to thee, Ovation!
Moving forward…
A bitch is in the process of pulling together a plan for my grassroots organization to address Missouri’s medieval law banning comprehensive sex ed from public schools and restricting access to reproductive medical care or counseling throughout the state.
Look for more information on this project in upcoming posts.
A couple of trolls asked…well, it was more like a demand (y’all need to work on your home training)…why a bitch dare try to impose my values on others.
Blink.
Although I am tempted to point out that my anger is in response to Governor Blunt imposing his values on others and to the Missouri legislature drafting a law that encourages ignorance, denies the known data on sex education and is a de facto declaration of war on women…cough…I’m going to go with the following reply instead.
This bitch gives a shit about HB 1055 because of the after that always follows.
I give a shit because I am an activist in my community who has seen what Matt Blunt would have to visit the ‘hood to see (but Lawd knows he prefers to meet his black people photo op quota in more tranquil suburban settings).
I am haunted by women who found out about reproductive options after they became pregnant…who found out about stds after they tested positive…who found out about their worth after they were exploited.
This bitch is there for the after that always follows legislation like HB 1055.
I’m at the shelter you will not fund that is filled to capacity with young mothers in search of the housing you will not approve.
I hold the babies you lost interest in the moment they were born.
I comfort the mothers…the women…my sisters who you will not mentor, volunteer to teach or employ.
So you can bet your ignorant trollified ass I’m going to teach the classes you have attempted to ban through HB 1055.
Got that?
Good.
Now get thee gone…
Monday, July 09, 2007
Declaration of a dangerous woman…
Jumping right on in...
I am a dangerous woman.
I have in my possession a dangerous weapon.
In fact, Governor Blunt finds this weapon so dangerous that he has signed legislation to keep it out of the public domain (gasp).
Oh yes, I am a dangerous woman.
And yes…I have in my possession a powerful weapon.
I have knowledge.
I have an agile mind and the ability to gain additional knowledge.
I have a voice and the ability to share what I know with others.
That, my sisters and brothers, is dangerous as hell.
Just ask Governor Blunt who signed HB 1055 into law!
By doing so Blunt told the women of Missouri that knowing shit is dangerous for us.
Blink.
He told young women that they are better served left in a state of ignorance…that facts are the enemy…and that they can’t be trusted with ideas and or to make the right choices.
HB 1055 declares war on knowledge. It supports abstinence only education despite the success of comprehensive sex education programs which include abstinence.
HB 1055 bans trained sex educators from Missouri classrooms…because Lawd knows we don’t want those pesky degree having intellectuals damaging those fragile young virginal minds with facts.
HB 1055 also includes a provision intended to limit access to abortion care. As a result of new licensing requirements for any facility performing abortions, the St. Louis Planned Parenthood facility may end up being the only provider in Missouri. Because access to safe medical care may result in woman seeking safe medical care (gasp...drop to knees and pray)…and we can’t have that!
Pause…collect thyself…continue.
But HB 1055 is not a victory for the anti-choice movement.
Cough.
Because it pissed off this dangerous as hell because I know shit angry black bitch.
And that was not wise.
In response to HB 1055, this bitch is forming a grassroots organization that will utilize the framework of comprehensive sex education and take it to the streets. More on that to come.
In response to HB 1055, I am asking y’all to join me in reclaiming our most precious right…the freedom to know shit and share the shit we know.
In response to HB 1055, I will commit to partner with existing community organizations to find alternative ways to educate people.
In response to HB 1055, I will commit to reach out to faith communities and deconstruct the myth of education inciting risky behavior...to reframe the discussion for what it should be rather than what The Man wants it to be…and to reaffirm that all God’s children are blessed with self determination and deserve the tools through which to determine shit.
In response to HB 1055, I pledge to resist this attempted revival of the by gone “oooooh, now whatcha black folk/women folk/poor folk need to know how to read fo’!” era of pro- ignorance domination and control.
HB 1055 puts women at risk and that puts my community at risk and I simply will not tolerate that.
HB 1055 is an insult to every intelligent woman in Missouri who has made positive choices from a place of knowledge and is now being told they are better off having a power hungry pseudo religious incompetent and out of touch white man in government make those choices for them.
So thanks Matt, because I woke up this morning fired the hell up.
Don’t get me wrong, I still intend to support efforts to undo this legislative fuck up. I will continue to support rational politicians who legislate on behalf of their constituents rather than pander to the extremists who have hijacked power from the masses here in Missouri.
But I am a citizen activist...I answer to no budget...and my resistance starts now.
Which should come as no surprise, since I am a dangerous woman (wink).
I possess an arsenal of facts and ideas.
Shall we begin...?
I have in my possession a dangerous weapon.
In fact, Governor Blunt finds this weapon so dangerous that he has signed legislation to keep it out of the public domain (gasp).
Oh yes, I am a dangerous woman.
And yes…I have in my possession a powerful weapon.
I have knowledge.
I have an agile mind and the ability to gain additional knowledge.
I have a voice and the ability to share what I know with others.
That, my sisters and brothers, is dangerous as hell.
Just ask Governor Blunt who signed HB 1055 into law!
By doing so Blunt told the women of Missouri that knowing shit is dangerous for us.
Blink.
He told young women that they are better served left in a state of ignorance…that facts are the enemy…and that they can’t be trusted with ideas and or to make the right choices.
HB 1055 declares war on knowledge. It supports abstinence only education despite the success of comprehensive sex education programs which include abstinence.
HB 1055 bans trained sex educators from Missouri classrooms…because Lawd knows we don’t want those pesky degree having intellectuals damaging those fragile young virginal minds with facts.
HB 1055 also includes a provision intended to limit access to abortion care. As a result of new licensing requirements for any facility performing abortions, the St. Louis Planned Parenthood facility may end up being the only provider in Missouri. Because access to safe medical care may result in woman seeking safe medical care (gasp...drop to knees and pray)…and we can’t have that!
Pause…collect thyself…continue.
But HB 1055 is not a victory for the anti-choice movement.
Cough.
Because it pissed off this dangerous as hell because I know shit angry black bitch.
And that was not wise.
In response to HB 1055, this bitch is forming a grassroots organization that will utilize the framework of comprehensive sex education and take it to the streets. More on that to come.
In response to HB 1055, I am asking y’all to join me in reclaiming our most precious right…the freedom to know shit and share the shit we know.
In response to HB 1055, I will commit to partner with existing community organizations to find alternative ways to educate people.
In response to HB 1055, I will commit to reach out to faith communities and deconstruct the myth of education inciting risky behavior...to reframe the discussion for what it should be rather than what The Man wants it to be…and to reaffirm that all God’s children are blessed with self determination and deserve the tools through which to determine shit.
In response to HB 1055, I pledge to resist this attempted revival of the by gone “oooooh, now whatcha black folk/women folk/poor folk need to know how to read fo’!” era of pro- ignorance domination and control.
HB 1055 puts women at risk and that puts my community at risk and I simply will not tolerate that.
HB 1055 is an insult to every intelligent woman in Missouri who has made positive choices from a place of knowledge and is now being told they are better off having a power hungry pseudo religious incompetent and out of touch white man in government make those choices for them.
So thanks Matt, because I woke up this morning fired the hell up.
Don’t get me wrong, I still intend to support efforts to undo this legislative fuck up. I will continue to support rational politicians who legislate on behalf of their constituents rather than pander to the extremists who have hijacked power from the masses here in Missouri.
But I am a citizen activist...I answer to no budget...and my resistance starts now.
Which should come as no surprise, since I am a dangerous woman (wink).
I possess an arsenal of facts and ideas.
Shall we begin...?
Friday, July 06, 2007
Our portrait by Fern!
C-Money and this bitch are fans of a certain Fern Taylor. Her paintings are fantabulous! So when C-Money learned from Fern that she does portraits my sister decided to explore her inner Flemish.
Blink.
Okay, one portrait doesn’t make you Flemish…but you have to admit that those motherfuckers got their portrait on BIG TIME!
So, Fern came over to the house and took several pictures then disappeared to do what painters do.
A few weeks later she presented us with a fantabulous portrait of Sisters with Afros (not the official name, but I’m working on that shit).
See - she even hung it for us!
Blink.
Okay, one portrait doesn’t make you Flemish…but you have to admit that those motherfuckers got their portrait on BIG TIME!
So, Fern came over to the house and took several pictures then disappeared to do what painters do.
A few weeks later she presented us with a fantabulous portrait of Sisters with Afros (not the official name, but I’m working on that shit).
See - she even hung it for us!
Pictures really don’t do it justice.
Thank you Fern (artist sitting below portrait)! 
For more information about Fern Taylor’s art (did I mention that she also does pet portraits?) visit her web site here.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
To my brother on his birthday...
You'll never read this...or maybe you will.
I've long suspected that there are secret talents housed in your puzzle of an autistic mind.
You'll never know how much you have changed my life...how my love for you is beyond measure...how far I'd go to protect you or how often I feel I don't go far enough.
Or maybe you will...maybe you do...maybe you've got all the answers and always have.
Shit, wouldn't that be a wild surprise?
Oh, to have 24 hours of traditional communication with you...to hear you tell me how you really like your Afro cut, what your thoughts are on global warming or if you prefer cats to dawgs.
Blink.
But this autism thing is our normal, isn't it?
So I set aside wishful wonderings and find comfort in the fact that you've never been shy about your opinions even if your method of communication is unique...and high pitched (wince).
I promise to always hug you hard and let you smell my freshly shampooed hair anytime you want to...just don't yank my head when I'm driving.
I will always fret over the intensity of your frustrated anger even though I know that more often than not I get to bask in the glory of your smile...the joy of your happiness.
You...fantastically perfect imperfection.
And who the hell isn't?
Bill...my beautiful blessing.
My beloved older brother.
Happiest birthday wishes, love.
And the first round of yummified sometime food goodness is on me...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
By Request - Crushing 2008...
A certain Meg sent a bitch an e-mail wanting to know why my ass hasn’t gone on the record about which, if any, Presidential hopeful I’m supporting.
Based on the offer of a bumper sticker in support of a certain someone this bitch assumes that Meg wants a bitch to throw my support and bitchitude behind her chose candidate.
Interesting sorta-offer…
…but I am undecided.
As a matter of fact a bitch is more than a wee bit worried about anyone who has decided this far out.
But whatever…this bitch certainly understands crushing on a candidate.
I just don’t suffer from that shit.
But Shark-fu, why don’t you suffer from it?
Great question, Meg (wink)!
While candidates scramble to lock in likely voters…appeal to undecided voters…and secure the endorsement of groups representing potential voters…we, the people, have a rare opportunity to ask them shit and perhaps get answers.
Gasp!
What do they mean when they say public education is failing our kids? How do they define failing?
How do they intend to decide on Supreme Court justices?
When was the last time they went to the market and purchased milk?
Why do they want to be President?
How would they address the still present fucktitude of FEMA?
What would they do to make right the wrong done to The Gulf region?
When they say they are pro-choice what does that mean to them?
Are they prepared to go on the record in support of the return of comprehensive sex education to the classroom?
What initiatives do they plan to address the immigration question? Do they think immigration is a problem?
How do they define the job description of President of the United States? What is the role of the President?
Do they support pre-emptive war? Do they agree with The Powell Doctrine?
What are they prepared to do to address the ongoing conflict in Iraq and what are they prepared to do if their plan doesn’t work?
Ho do they intend to maintain the balance between security and liberty?
Pause…sip water…continue…
Meg, a bitch has seen friends fret and delay decisions for weeks over whether or not to purchase a whatnot at Target.
And you can return a whatnot to Target (keep the receipt!!) if you get it home and it looks like shit.
Don’t you think the decision over who will have the power to fuck shit up for the next four years should be approached with caution rather than wrap it up I’ll take it passion?
Hasn’t the long national nightmare that is Bush II- Revenge of the Knave taught us anything?
Candidates should know that they must achieve my vote and earn my support.
So, thanks but no thanks for now on the bumper sticker offer.
This bitch and Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio’s ass shall remain unadorned and undecided...
Based on the offer of a bumper sticker in support of a certain someone this bitch assumes that Meg wants a bitch to throw my support and bitchitude behind her chose candidate.
Interesting sorta-offer…
…but I am undecided.
As a matter of fact a bitch is more than a wee bit worried about anyone who has decided this far out.
But whatever…this bitch certainly understands crushing on a candidate.
I just don’t suffer from that shit.
But Shark-fu, why don’t you suffer from it?
Great question, Meg (wink)!
While candidates scramble to lock in likely voters…appeal to undecided voters…and secure the endorsement of groups representing potential voters…we, the people, have a rare opportunity to ask them shit and perhaps get answers.
Gasp!
What do they mean when they say public education is failing our kids? How do they define failing?
How do they intend to decide on Supreme Court justices?
When was the last time they went to the market and purchased milk?
Why do they want to be President?
How would they address the still present fucktitude of FEMA?
What would they do to make right the wrong done to The Gulf region?
When they say they are pro-choice what does that mean to them?
Are they prepared to go on the record in support of the return of comprehensive sex education to the classroom?
What initiatives do they plan to address the immigration question? Do they think immigration is a problem?
How do they define the job description of President of the United States? What is the role of the President?
Do they support pre-emptive war? Do they agree with The Powell Doctrine?
What are they prepared to do to address the ongoing conflict in Iraq and what are they prepared to do if their plan doesn’t work?
Ho do they intend to maintain the balance between security and liberty?
Pause…sip water…continue…
Meg, a bitch has seen friends fret and delay decisions for weeks over whether or not to purchase a whatnot at Target.
And you can return a whatnot to Target (keep the receipt!!) if you get it home and it looks like shit.
Don’t you think the decision over who will have the power to fuck shit up for the next four years should be approached with caution rather than wrap it up I’ll take it passion?
Hasn’t the long national nightmare that is Bush II- Revenge of the Knave taught us anything?
Candidates should know that they must achieve my vote and earn my support.
So, thanks but no thanks for now on the bumper sticker offer.
This bitch and Ms. Sister Girl Cabrio’s ass shall remain unadorned and undecided...
The "rule of law", my black ass!
Crack knuckles…stretch arms…take sip of water…begin…
A bitch isn’t shocked by anything President Bush related…the man has no shame and thus is capable of anything…but I will admit I wouldn’t have bet on a commuted sentence for Scooter Libby.
This bitch put my money on a full Ford-esque pardon.
Shit, you can't win them all.
But I haven’t really lost the bet yet…unless I am mistaken, Bush can still pardon this felonious motherfucker.
Anyhooo...
Let’s skip the bullshit shall we?
When I read this about Libby’s commutation I immediately thought about this news bit from American political history.
If it walks like a payoff and talks like a payoff we need to call it what it is.
President Bush commuted Libby’s sentence and took away the legal pressure of looming jail time that would have… might have…oh, fuck it y’all know that motherfucker was gonna talk if he went to jail.
Look at him!
He ain't hard.
Cough.
A bitch can't help but imagine how it went down.
Cheney called Bush and kept it real…much like John Dean went in and met with Nixon in the Oval after the initial break it at the Watergate and told him it would take a million dollars to keep those participants quiet.
Cheney explained that Libby wouldn’t hold (he is so not hard) and would piss himself followed by spill the beans within 24 hours of the cell door slamming shut.
Bush initially balked because he was under the delusion that he might actually be able to push through immigration reform and salvage some legislative legacy for his fucked up from the floor up presidency. Then reality hit him upside the head as immigration reform died and was buried.
The duck was declared lame and the way for payoff-based cover-up was made clear.
Cheney called again…said that Libby might open up about the whole Bay of Pigs thing and…
Umm…wrong cover-up...my bad...blame the Sudafed (wink).
Cough.
Cheney called again…President Bush was receptive after gorging himself on lobster and corn on the cob up in Maine and he really doesn’t give a shit anymore…and the commutation was agreed upon.
Bush shat it out with some bullshit about 30 months in jail being excessive (this from a man who failed to find the penalty of death excessive for the mentally ill whilst pseudo-governing Texas) and then he added some insultingly lame ass shit about the fine being a painful punishment(you're joking right) and the loss of his law license being a heavy price (I'm gonna drown in this vat of stankified bullshit)…then a bitch is pretty sure Bush belched and then went back to his lobster.
So, here we are with Scooter Libby not going to jail, only paying a this is the cost of doing bitness in D.C. fine and not really suffering the ramifications for lying to a federal prosecutor, obstructing justice and conspiring with the executive branch to use the weapons of government to wage war against the administration's political enemies so that they could clear the way to wage war against Iraq.
What I don’t get is how anyone can truly be shocked that the same President who subverted the rule of law to go to war would subvert the rule of law to protect the people who helped him subvert the rule of law to go to war.
It’s like sitting down to chat with a dawg and then getting frustrated that all she does is bark.
Blink.
A bitch isn’t shocked by anything President Bush related…the man has no shame and thus is capable of anything…but I will admit I wouldn’t have bet on a commuted sentence for Scooter Libby.
This bitch put my money on a full Ford-esque pardon.
Shit, you can't win them all.
But I haven’t really lost the bet yet…unless I am mistaken, Bush can still pardon this felonious motherfucker.
Anyhooo...
Let’s skip the bullshit shall we?
When I read this about Libby’s commutation I immediately thought about this news bit from American political history.
If it walks like a payoff and talks like a payoff we need to call it what it is.
President Bush commuted Libby’s sentence and took away the legal pressure of looming jail time that would have… might have…oh, fuck it y’all know that motherfucker was gonna talk if he went to jail.
Look at him!
He ain't hard.
Cough.
A bitch can't help but imagine how it went down.
Cheney called Bush and kept it real…much like John Dean went in and met with Nixon in the Oval after the initial break it at the Watergate and told him it would take a million dollars to keep those participants quiet.
Cheney explained that Libby wouldn’t hold (he is so not hard) and would piss himself followed by spill the beans within 24 hours of the cell door slamming shut.
Bush initially balked because he was under the delusion that he might actually be able to push through immigration reform and salvage some legislative legacy for his fucked up from the floor up presidency. Then reality hit him upside the head as immigration reform died and was buried.
The duck was declared lame and the way for payoff-based cover-up was made clear.
Cheney called again…said that Libby might open up about the whole Bay of Pigs thing and…
Umm…wrong cover-up...my bad...blame the Sudafed (wink).
Cough.
Cheney called again…President Bush was receptive after gorging himself on lobster and corn on the cob up in Maine and he really doesn’t give a shit anymore…and the commutation was agreed upon.
Bush shat it out with some bullshit about 30 months in jail being excessive (this from a man who failed to find the penalty of death excessive for the mentally ill whilst pseudo-governing Texas) and then he added some insultingly lame ass shit about the fine being a painful punishment(you're joking right) and the loss of his law license being a heavy price (I'm gonna drown in this vat of stankified bullshit)…then a bitch is pretty sure Bush belched and then went back to his lobster.
So, here we are with Scooter Libby not going to jail, only paying a this is the cost of doing bitness in D.C. fine and not really suffering the ramifications for lying to a federal prosecutor, obstructing justice and conspiring with the executive branch to use the weapons of government to wage war against the administration's political enemies so that they could clear the way to wage war against Iraq.
What I don’t get is how anyone can truly be shocked that the same President who subverted the rule of law to go to war would subvert the rule of law to protect the people who helped him subvert the rule of law to go to war.
It’s like sitting down to chat with a dawg and then getting frustrated that all she does is bark.
Blink.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Some thoughts...
A bitch got a lot of shit accomplished this weekend even though a certain sorta-beagle ,Theo, had to be thwarted in his never ending quest to exploit our fenced-in area’s structural weaknesses.
Theo the BayMaster was able to get his leashless walk on twice over the weekend by pushing through an unsecured plank in our fence. The second time I had locked his willful ass in via a chain and he got his Houdini on…slipped out of his collar (a nightmare for any dawg guardian)…pushed through the plank and took off at a prance down the street.
Shit.
C-Money took care of the problem with nail and hammer and fixed the fenec, but I'm still scared to leave his ass out there.
Mercy, doesn’t that dawg know he’s got it good?
Anyhoo, a bitch has some thoughts on some shit.
Quest for paper…
A bitch watched the Sunday political chats and caught a certain Senator Leahy on Meet the Press discussing subpoenas.
As you know Senator Leahy is chairman of the Judiciary Committee. He fired off that he was prepared to go to court in pursuit of documents dealing with the firing of federal prosecutors…the White House having responded to his subpoenas by wrapped itself in the soothing fabric of executive privilege.
Senator Leahy called that move Nixonian…and a bitch agrees to a point.
Playing the executive privilege card may be Nixonian, but Poor Richard didn’t have The 5-4 Supremes as backup.
Gasp!
"Heading for a constitutional crisis", my black ass Russert.
If Senator Leahy’s challenges make it as far as the Supreme Court the ending to that song has already been signed, sealed and is giving off stankified steam while resting on ice ready to be delivered. Victory is a done deal.
Nixon, however, lost his "these tapes are my personal property" challenge to the Supreme Court.
Sigh.
This bitch has always seen that chapter as a constitutional triumph rather than a crisis.
A bitch doubts there are any triumphs, constitutional or political, in our near future.
Which brings me to the Lobster…um, Lob-stah (beat you to it…wink)..Summit.
Sigh.
Lobstah a la Classic Bushified Defiance with herbed butter...
Oh, to take a vacation in beautiful Maine…on the water…with the cool soothing touch of one’s rancid and rotting from within but in total adoration of her son despite his rejection of diplomacy in favor of a shocking succession of international failures…cough…mother on thy brow.
How jolly!
And it is so delightful that the Family Bush just had to invite President Putin to vacation with them.
Delightful…perfection even...a rare opportunity to smooth over a rough relationship with lobster and boating.
Lawd, give me strength!
Am I the only one who finds pictures of Bush and his vile family on vacation at a motherfucking fabillion trillion dollar compound hounding down on fucking lobster whilst sitting overlooking a picturesque bay after having failed to accomplish anything domestic policy-based and while the nation is at war fucking obscene?
Shameless.
Ugh.
And this whole “we’re got to make nice with Russia” spin is so full of shit it begs a large roll of super absorbent toilet paper.
The Lobster Summit isn’t about diplomacy…it’s about posturing.
Mmhmmm.
It’s about bullshitting before the cameras and going through the motions of diplomatic interaction all the while intending to do whatever the hell you want to do regardless of what is said/done/presented/suggested/argued for or advised.
Thus the press is feasting on a dish of Lobstah a la Classic Bushified Defiance...with melted herbed butter on the side.
Theo the BayMaster was able to get his leashless walk on twice over the weekend by pushing through an unsecured plank in our fence. The second time I had locked his willful ass in via a chain and he got his Houdini on…slipped out of his collar (a nightmare for any dawg guardian)…pushed through the plank and took off at a prance down the street.
Shit.
C-Money took care of the problem with nail and hammer and fixed the fenec, but I'm still scared to leave his ass out there.
Mercy, doesn’t that dawg know he’s got it good?
Anyhoo, a bitch has some thoughts on some shit.
Quest for paper…
A bitch watched the Sunday political chats and caught a certain Senator Leahy on Meet the Press discussing subpoenas.
As you know Senator Leahy is chairman of the Judiciary Committee. He fired off that he was prepared to go to court in pursuit of documents dealing with the firing of federal prosecutors…the White House having responded to his subpoenas by wrapped itself in the soothing fabric of executive privilege.
Senator Leahy called that move Nixonian…and a bitch agrees to a point.
Playing the executive privilege card may be Nixonian, but Poor Richard didn’t have The 5-4 Supremes as backup.
Gasp!
"Heading for a constitutional crisis", my black ass Russert.
If Senator Leahy’s challenges make it as far as the Supreme Court the ending to that song has already been signed, sealed and is giving off stankified steam while resting on ice ready to be delivered. Victory is a done deal.
Nixon, however, lost his "these tapes are my personal property" challenge to the Supreme Court.
Sigh.
This bitch has always seen that chapter as a constitutional triumph rather than a crisis.
A bitch doubts there are any triumphs, constitutional or political, in our near future.
Which brings me to the Lobster…um, Lob-stah (beat you to it…wink)..Summit.
Sigh.
Lobstah a la Classic Bushified Defiance with herbed butter...
Oh, to take a vacation in beautiful Maine…on the water…with the cool soothing touch of one’s rancid and rotting from within but in total adoration of her son despite his rejection of diplomacy in favor of a shocking succession of international failures…cough…mother on thy brow.
How jolly!
And it is so delightful that the Family Bush just had to invite President Putin to vacation with them.
Delightful…perfection even...a rare opportunity to smooth over a rough relationship with lobster and boating.
Lawd, give me strength!
Am I the only one who finds pictures of Bush and his vile family on vacation at a motherfucking fabillion trillion dollar compound hounding down on fucking lobster whilst sitting overlooking a picturesque bay after having failed to accomplish anything domestic policy-based and while the nation is at war fucking obscene?
Shameless.
Ugh.
And this whole “we’re got to make nice with Russia” spin is so full of shit it begs a large roll of super absorbent toilet paper.
The Lobster Summit isn’t about diplomacy…it’s about posturing.
Mmhmmm.
It’s about bullshitting before the cameras and going through the motions of diplomatic interaction all the while intending to do whatever the hell you want to do regardless of what is said/done/presented/suggested/argued for or advised.
Thus the press is feasting on a dish of Lobstah a la Classic Bushified Defiance...with melted herbed butter on the side.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Happy Birthday Joyce!
Happy birthday wishes to the fantabulous diva, Ms. Joyce!
May you continue to be blessed with the happiness you so generously share with others…
May you continue to be blessed with the happiness you so generously share with others…
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Payments...
I knew when the phone rang…
…that The 5-4 Supremes ruled on some more shit.
Pause…crack neck…proceed.
Brother Rob Thurman called this bitch to give me the news and just the tone of his voice said it all.
Step up to pulpit...fluff afro…begin.
My sisters and brothers, our historical house note has come due!
And our social policy pocket book is about to get empty.
If we are a nation united in anything it is in our false belief that we will not have to pay for monumental fuck ups…that “oops, my bad” will suffice…and that there is a “gimme” in this thing called life.
Well, reality teaches us that the house note always comes due, so…and hello, this one is obvious as a motherfucker…electing a social conservative to two Presidential terms when Supreme Court Justices were fixin’ to retire had a fucking predictable outcome.
So, we have a new ruling on the role of race in the classroom and the wisdom of Chief Justice Roberts…
“The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discrimination on the basis of race."
Yeah.
Uh, huh.
I want what he’s on...no really, I need some of that shit.
Anyhoo, this ruling will not open up an opportunity for equal competition and selection. 34 years as a black woman in America has taught me that ain’t a damn thing equal in this world…and that The Man never hands over power peacefully or because it’s the right thing to do.
Never.
What we do have is a ruling that will result in racial and class-based isolation.
My fellow St. Louisans know a thing or two about how that impacts a school system…don’t we?
Pause…consider…continue…
Fuck it.
This bitch is grateful for this ruling.
What!?!
That’s right, chil’ren…I’m fucking glad they did it.
I’m tired of telling apathetic fence straddling sometimes I vote-ers that they need to give a shit…that these fucked up Supreme Court rulings will trickle down in a flood of oppression and a heavier boot on their neck.
I’m fucking exhausted with the debate over whether the pile of shit in the room is a pile of shit.
So, fuck it...right now I welcome the rancid stench reality.
And a sick part of me that I pray will go away soon welcomes the drama that will result from the recent rulings of The 5-4 Supremes.
Because this house note was going to come due…and opting for that adjustable rate “he’s not that smart but he looks like he’d be a nice guy to share a beer with” presidential option who then appointed two freakishly conservative what fucking world do they live in justices FOR LIFE may turn out to be the fuck up that keeps on fucking.
How much more of this shit will it take to nudge the masses to rise up and refinance?
Lawd, have mercy...
…that The 5-4 Supremes ruled on some more shit.
Pause…crack neck…proceed.
Brother Rob Thurman called this bitch to give me the news and just the tone of his voice said it all.
Step up to pulpit...fluff afro…begin.
My sisters and brothers, our historical house note has come due!
And our social policy pocket book is about to get empty.
If we are a nation united in anything it is in our false belief that we will not have to pay for monumental fuck ups…that “oops, my bad” will suffice…and that there is a “gimme” in this thing called life.
Well, reality teaches us that the house note always comes due, so…and hello, this one is obvious as a motherfucker…electing a social conservative to two Presidential terms when Supreme Court Justices were fixin’ to retire had a fucking predictable outcome.
So, we have a new ruling on the role of race in the classroom and the wisdom of Chief Justice Roberts…
“The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discrimination on the basis of race."
Yeah.
Uh, huh.
I want what he’s on...no really, I need some of that shit.
Anyhoo, this ruling will not open up an opportunity for equal competition and selection. 34 years as a black woman in America has taught me that ain’t a damn thing equal in this world…and that The Man never hands over power peacefully or because it’s the right thing to do.
Never.
What we do have is a ruling that will result in racial and class-based isolation.
My fellow St. Louisans know a thing or two about how that impacts a school system…don’t we?
Pause…consider…continue…
Fuck it.
This bitch is grateful for this ruling.
What!?!
That’s right, chil’ren…I’m fucking glad they did it.
I’m tired of telling apathetic fence straddling sometimes I vote-ers that they need to give a shit…that these fucked up Supreme Court rulings will trickle down in a flood of oppression and a heavier boot on their neck.
I’m fucking exhausted with the debate over whether the pile of shit in the room is a pile of shit.
So, fuck it...right now I welcome the rancid stench reality.
And a sick part of me that I pray will go away soon welcomes the drama that will result from the recent rulings of The 5-4 Supremes.
Because this house note was going to come due…and opting for that adjustable rate “he’s not that smart but he looks like he’d be a nice guy to share a beer with” presidential option who then appointed two freakishly conservative what fucking world do they live in justices FOR LIFE may turn out to be the fuck up that keeps on fucking.
How much more of this shit will it take to nudge the masses to rise up and refinance?
Lawd, have mercy...
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
A quick response to awol...
A certain awol left a comment on a post that a bitch found worthy of further exploration.
Awol wrote about his issues as a young gay black man trying to decide whether to embrace the gay community. Specifically, he wrote that he has found it “difficult to deal with the Eurocentrism, materialism, and elitism in the community”.
The club groweth (wink).
When I read this comment I couldn’t help but think that the response is more worthy of dissertation than a post...and if this bitch had the strength for a dissertation my happy black ass would have a doctorate.
Sigh.
Here goes...
A bitch is a student of culture. I have observed communities that would never define themselves as a community and others forever speaking of themselves as communities yet hardly resembling the strong vibrant community they speak of being.
The thing is, Eurocentrism is woven into the fabric of America. A forensic examination would find that shit everywhere…like blood splatter on a wall, one can wash at it but the residue remains.
But for some reason people expect that residue will not be present in the LGBT community.
Which is beyond odd, because no group is easier to seduce with the trappings of power than the group just witnessing all that glitter on vivid display.
Blink.
Which is why the elitism that turns you off is so glaringly apparent….why the materialism that fails to jive with your individual value system is so unavoidable….and why too often the very community that speaks of being welcoming stands with one hand beckoning and the other one signing for you to fuck off and stay put.
Alas, we can not change others...a bitch is working on a spell, but so far no dice (wink). We can change ourselves and how we react to others, which is why your question has more to do with you than anything else.
Now listen, there is no law that says you have to socialize with any set group of people. This bitch prefers a diverse mix of friends myself. But don't discount the existence of common causes...or the fact that there are a lot of folks just as tired of all that bullshit as you are.
Know thyself...find your space above and beyond all the definitions and cliques...and then step up and be heard, brother awol!
Shit.
And don't let me hear someone has done you wrong 'cause my ass will be in Baltimore 'round September and I may pack my baseball bat (wink).
Awol wrote about his issues as a young gay black man trying to decide whether to embrace the gay community. Specifically, he wrote that he has found it “difficult to deal with the Eurocentrism, materialism, and elitism in the community”.
The club groweth (wink).
When I read this comment I couldn’t help but think that the response is more worthy of dissertation than a post...and if this bitch had the strength for a dissertation my happy black ass would have a doctorate.
Sigh.
Here goes...
A bitch is a student of culture. I have observed communities that would never define themselves as a community and others forever speaking of themselves as communities yet hardly resembling the strong vibrant community they speak of being.
The thing is, Eurocentrism is woven into the fabric of America. A forensic examination would find that shit everywhere…like blood splatter on a wall, one can wash at it but the residue remains.
But for some reason people expect that residue will not be present in the LGBT community.
Which is beyond odd, because no group is easier to seduce with the trappings of power than the group just witnessing all that glitter on vivid display.
Blink.
Which is why the elitism that turns you off is so glaringly apparent….why the materialism that fails to jive with your individual value system is so unavoidable….and why too often the very community that speaks of being welcoming stands with one hand beckoning and the other one signing for you to fuck off and stay put.
Alas, we can not change others...a bitch is working on a spell, but so far no dice (wink). We can change ourselves and how we react to others, which is why your question has more to do with you than anything else.
Now listen, there is no law that says you have to socialize with any set group of people. This bitch prefers a diverse mix of friends myself. But don't discount the existence of common causes...or the fact that there are a lot of folks just as tired of all that bullshit as you are.
Know thyself...find your space above and beyond all the definitions and cliques...and then step up and be heard, brother awol!
Shit.
And don't let me hear someone has done you wrong 'cause my ass will be in Baltimore 'round September and I may pack my baseball bat (wink).
Now you know...
Lawd, have mercy!
A bitch has been tagged by a certain Hattie for a Things You Don’t Know About Me meme.
Blink.
And there are rules, for the love of all bitchitude!
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
Done!
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
Ugh….done!
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
Ugh again….done!
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Oh, for the love of…! Whatever…I hate rules…all 8 people who read this bitch’s blog are now tagged.
Shit!
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog. Sure…fine…Lawd!
Frown…then remember that wrinkle forming between thy brows…curse some more...continue.
8 things you don’t know about me…
1. A bitch used to suck my fingers while tugging my ear when nervous.
Ummm….this is really hard…
2. I am an insomniac
3. I hate to shop at malls
4. Home Depot makes me anxious
5. My favorite color is blue
6. I adore artificially flavored vanilla ice cream
7. I’m constantly taking notes
8. I hate being late to events/meetings/movies…hate it, hate it…can’t stand it!
Done.
And if you already knew that shit shut your mouth!
A bitch has been tagged by a certain Hattie for a Things You Don’t Know About Me meme.
Blink.
And there are rules, for the love of all bitchitude!
1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
Done!
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
Ugh….done!
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
Ugh again….done!
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Oh, for the love of…! Whatever…I hate rules…all 8 people who read this bitch’s blog are now tagged.
Shit!
5. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog. Sure…fine…Lawd!
Frown…then remember that wrinkle forming between thy brows…curse some more...continue.
8 things you don’t know about me…
1. A bitch used to suck my fingers while tugging my ear when nervous.
Ummm….this is really hard…
2. I am an insomniac
3. I hate to shop at malls
4. Home Depot makes me anxious
5. My favorite color is blue
6. I adore artificially flavored vanilla ice cream
7. I’m constantly taking notes
8. I hate being late to events/meetings/movies…hate it, hate it…can’t stand it!
Done.
And if you already knew that shit shut your mouth!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Pondering outcomes...
This bitch caught the news yesterday that The 5 to 4 Supremes spat out a few rulings on some shit.
The ruling that tax payers can't sue about Faith Based funding sort of made my afro throb.
Now catch thy knee before it jerketh! A bitch has no quarrel against most faith organizations. What troubles me is that our government is now in the business of defining and judging faith so it can fund faith.
Not only is that not the role of government...cough...but this bitch questions the wisdom of asking the same motherfuckers who can't find their ass with both hands to judge the worthiness of anything much less a full of faith program in search of my taxed and then seized money.
Blink.
I can't be the only person to see that conditions are ripe for a hustle. And...well...I hate to go there, but...ummm...faith-based hustles for profit are as old as religion.
The fact is that it is hard as hell to attach real outcomes to some of these faith based initiatives. And the problem is that this bitch would like to see some motherfucking outcomes for the billions...BILLIONS...of dollars poured into the federal funding of faith.
The Federally Faithful are blessed (wink) to have proven programs like St. Patrick Center to fund. St. Pats gets funding and the Federally Faithful become positive by association.
But beyond the proven programs are the who the fuck are these people organizations and the okay but does that shit really work programs.
I see funding opportunity after funding opportunity for faith based organizations to take over the work that community organizations used to do.
Or to convert...to what exactly?
Ouch...there goes my afro again (wince)!
Anyhoo, it is clear that the Federally Faithful are making a statement that faith is where the money is. The hustle can't be far behind. Groups like The Heritage Foundation have already put together suggestions on how to redefine what a positive faith based outcome is.
Come now...obviously one can not determine faith based success the same way one would determine program-based success.
Blink.
"Awww, come on Shark-fu." sayeth The 5 to 4 Supremes "Have a little faith!"
Is that faith in God or in government?
Mayhap the desired outcome is that the two become one...
The ruling that tax payers can't sue about Faith Based funding sort of made my afro throb.
Now catch thy knee before it jerketh! A bitch has no quarrel against most faith organizations. What troubles me is that our government is now in the business of defining and judging faith so it can fund faith.
Not only is that not the role of government...cough...but this bitch questions the wisdom of asking the same motherfuckers who can't find their ass with both hands to judge the worthiness of anything much less a full of faith program in search of my taxed and then seized money.
Blink.
I can't be the only person to see that conditions are ripe for a hustle. And...well...I hate to go there, but...ummm...faith-based hustles for profit are as old as religion.
The fact is that it is hard as hell to attach real outcomes to some of these faith based initiatives. And the problem is that this bitch would like to see some motherfucking outcomes for the billions...BILLIONS...of dollars poured into the federal funding of faith.
The Federally Faithful are blessed (wink) to have proven programs like St. Patrick Center to fund. St. Pats gets funding and the Federally Faithful become positive by association.
But beyond the proven programs are the who the fuck are these people organizations and the okay but does that shit really work programs.
I see funding opportunity after funding opportunity for faith based organizations to take over the work that community organizations used to do.
Or to convert...to what exactly?
Ouch...there goes my afro again (wince)!
Anyhoo, it is clear that the Federally Faithful are making a statement that faith is where the money is. The hustle can't be far behind. Groups like The Heritage Foundation have already put together suggestions on how to redefine what a positive faith based outcome is.
Come now...obviously one can not determine faith based success the same way one would determine program-based success.
Blink.
"Awww, come on Shark-fu." sayeth The 5 to 4 Supremes "Have a little faith!"
Is that faith in God or in government?
Mayhap the desired outcome is that the two become one...
Post festival recovery...
Lawd, have mercy!
A bitch attended both days of Pride Fest 2007. It rained...a wee bit of rain based spit Saturday and a fucking flood Sunday (wince). And the weather didn't even have the decency to cool itself off post deluge! Oh no...uh uh...the rain fed the humidity and Tower Grove Park became a motherfucking sauna.
Sigh.
Oh well, what can you do? And Sauna Fest 2007 did afford this bitch the opportunity to meet several blog-based fans. Hello to you all!
On a rather vain note...that two day sauna has done wonders for my complexion.
For real!
A bitch woke up after my 16 hour post festival sleep to find my skin beyond clear.
Who need a spa treatment when we've got St. Louis in June (wink)?
Congrats to Pride St. Louis!
A bitch attended both days of Pride Fest 2007. It rained...a wee bit of rain based spit Saturday and a fucking flood Sunday (wince). And the weather didn't even have the decency to cool itself off post deluge! Oh no...uh uh...the rain fed the humidity and Tower Grove Park became a motherfucking sauna.
Sigh.
Oh well, what can you do? And Sauna Fest 2007 did afford this bitch the opportunity to meet several blog-based fans. Hello to you all!
On a rather vain note...that two day sauna has done wonders for my complexion.
For real!
A bitch woke up after my 16 hour post festival sleep to find my skin beyond clear.
Who need a spa treatment when we've got St. Louis in June (wink)?
Congrats to Pride St. Louis!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Melting...
Whew!
It’s officially too hot.
Don’t give me that shit about the humidity. I don’t give a shit about the meteorological specificity of why it feels too fucking hot.
My people call this shit heat...and this bitch thinks the heat has gone too far!
Shit.
Now, this bitch is going to have to hit the Ted Drewes.
Mmmhmm.
What?!?
Frozen custard yumminess is a sometimes food…and my sometime is now (wink).
Toodles…
It’s officially too hot.
Don’t give me that shit about the humidity. I don’t give a shit about the meteorological specificity of why it feels too fucking hot.
My people call this shit heat...and this bitch thinks the heat has gone too far!
Shit.
Now, this bitch is going to have to hit the Ted Drewes.
Mmmhmm.
What?!?
Frozen custard yumminess is a sometimes food…and my sometime is now (wink).
Toodles…
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Just a little somethin' to break the monotony...
A bitch has spent the morning working on my Pride Fest 2007 two day outdoor festival survival list of necessary things.
It’s going to be hot, chil’ren.
And there’s this newish evil rumor about rain.
Fuck!
Hold it…hold on…hold!
Time for a mid day groov-a-licious dance break…courtesy of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the artist formerly known as The Fresh Prince.
Summertime…
It's late in the day and I ain't been on the court yet
Hustle to the mall to get me a short set
Yeah I got on sneaks but I need a new pair
Cause basketball courts in the summer got girls there
The temperature's about 88
Hop in the water plug just for old times sake
Break to ya crib change your clothes once more
Cause you're invited to a barbeque that's starting at 4
Sitting with your friends cause y'all reminisce
About the days growing up and the first person you kiss
And as I think back makes me wonder how
The smell from a grill could spark up nostalgia
All the kids playing out front
Little boys messin round with the girls playing double-dutch
While the DJ's spinning a tune as the old folks dance at your family reunion
Then six o'clock rolls around
You just finished wiping your car down
It's time to cruise so you head to the summertime hangout
It looks like a car show
Everybody come lookin real fine
Fresh from the barber shop or fly from the beauty salon
Every moment frontin and maxin
Chillin in the car they spent all day waxin
Leanin to the side but you can't speed through
Two miles an hour so everybody sees you
There's an air of love and of happiness
And this is the Fresh Prince's new definition of summer madness
All together now…
Summer…summer…summertime
Summertime!
Time to sit back and unwind
Shakes groove thing a wee bit longer then adds 'umbrella' to festival preparedness list...
It’s going to be hot, chil’ren.
And there’s this newish evil rumor about rain.
Fuck!
Hold it…hold on…hold!
Time for a mid day groov-a-licious dance break…courtesy of DJ Jazzy Jeff and the artist formerly known as The Fresh Prince.
Summertime…
It's late in the day and I ain't been on the court yet
Hustle to the mall to get me a short set
Yeah I got on sneaks but I need a new pair
Cause basketball courts in the summer got girls there
The temperature's about 88
Hop in the water plug just for old times sake
Break to ya crib change your clothes once more
Cause you're invited to a barbeque that's starting at 4
Sitting with your friends cause y'all reminisce
About the days growing up and the first person you kiss
And as I think back makes me wonder how
The smell from a grill could spark up nostalgia
All the kids playing out front
Little boys messin round with the girls playing double-dutch
While the DJ's spinning a tune as the old folks dance at your family reunion
Then six o'clock rolls around
You just finished wiping your car down
It's time to cruise so you head to the summertime hangout
It looks like a car show
Everybody come lookin real fine
Fresh from the barber shop or fly from the beauty salon
Every moment frontin and maxin
Chillin in the car they spent all day waxin
Leanin to the side but you can't speed through
Two miles an hour so everybody sees you
There's an air of love and of happiness
And this is the Fresh Prince's new definition of summer madness
All together now…
Summer…summer…summertime
Summertime!
Time to sit back and unwind
Shakes groove thing a wee bit longer then adds 'umbrella' to festival preparedness list...
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
By request, a clarification...
A certain Anonymous wants to know why a bitch is not concerned about illegal immigration.
I’m glad you asked!
A bitch should clarify that I am concerned about workers being abused, their human rights being denied and greedy unethical corporations gorging themselves on profits as a result. But that concern is not limited to the topic of illegal immigration in the United States…is it?
I am not concerned about a threat to American jobs. Sorry, but that dawg don’t hunt. We need to address the wage issue for all Americans but that concern is not limited to the topic of illegal immigration in the United States...is it? And a bitch sure as shit isn’t concerned about any so-called threat to American culture. Fucking spare me that "I'm native born" with a my people came here less that 150 years ago immigrant pedigree bullshit.
My ass will confess to taking a certain pleasure in listening to border residents freaking out because of the “flood” of “illegals” across the border who are “about to drop a baby” and who will then “rake in the benefits” of citizenship all the while “destroying traditional American culture”.
Whew!
A huge part of me wishes that shit were true…because turn about is fair play and it’s not as if hordes of disease carrying explorers didn’t flood across existing borders back in the day…killing and destroying as they went…all the while “dropping babies” which they then used to justify a need to expand by the will of a selectively quoted God…only to resent the very people they took all that territory from…and sign and then not honor followed by sign and then not honor followed by sign and then not honor treaty after motherfucking treaty they had no fucking intention of ever honoring…only to finally settle comfortably in the land of plenty their illegal immigrant asses ceased back in the day and live in blissful disregard of the people their Manifest Destiny displaced and thus sentenced to a life of poverty and want.
Not having an immigrant past...the African Diaspora not being immigrant narrative...and being a few generations removed from my Native American heritage, I see this shit from different angles.
Our nation was founded on the rather curious idea that a certain group’s needs trump the needs of others and the immigration debate is falling into that rancid vat of entitlement. That same idea justified initial conquest…continued conquest and all those treaties…the enslavement of human beings…the banking of profit and growth of industry on the backs of those slaves and later (gasp) immigrant workers…and the continued resentment of The Man towards anyone who dare covet the cake he now sees as his by divine right.
I am not threatened by a people wanting more…who will pay taxes when rich Americans do anything they can not to…who will pass a citizenship test most Americans can't…who will be bi-lingual when most Americans struggle with English…who will know the words to the National Anthem when fucking Senators and Congresspeople don’t…and who only spark fear because of where they come from, how they sound and what they look like.
We need to find a way to make this shit right and we sure as shit need to cease sounding like a nation of ethnocentric bigots and start sounding like a people who understand the history of this nation and the role of immigration in that history.
I don’t fear the illegal immigrant.
I fear The Man acting in fear of the illegal immigrant.
I’m glad you asked!
A bitch should clarify that I am concerned about workers being abused, their human rights being denied and greedy unethical corporations gorging themselves on profits as a result. But that concern is not limited to the topic of illegal immigration in the United States…is it?
I am not concerned about a threat to American jobs. Sorry, but that dawg don’t hunt. We need to address the wage issue for all Americans but that concern is not limited to the topic of illegal immigration in the United States...is it? And a bitch sure as shit isn’t concerned about any so-called threat to American culture. Fucking spare me that "I'm native born" with a my people came here less that 150 years ago immigrant pedigree bullshit.
My ass will confess to taking a certain pleasure in listening to border residents freaking out because of the “flood” of “illegals” across the border who are “about to drop a baby” and who will then “rake in the benefits” of citizenship all the while “destroying traditional American culture”.
Whew!
A huge part of me wishes that shit were true…because turn about is fair play and it’s not as if hordes of disease carrying explorers didn’t flood across existing borders back in the day…killing and destroying as they went…all the while “dropping babies” which they then used to justify a need to expand by the will of a selectively quoted God…only to resent the very people they took all that territory from…and sign and then not honor followed by sign and then not honor followed by sign and then not honor treaty after motherfucking treaty they had no fucking intention of ever honoring…only to finally settle comfortably in the land of plenty their illegal immigrant asses ceased back in the day and live in blissful disregard of the people their Manifest Destiny displaced and thus sentenced to a life of poverty and want.
Blink.
Not having an immigrant past...the African Diaspora not being immigrant narrative...and being a few generations removed from my Native American heritage, I see this shit from different angles.
Our nation was founded on the rather curious idea that a certain group’s needs trump the needs of others and the immigration debate is falling into that rancid vat of entitlement. That same idea justified initial conquest…continued conquest and all those treaties…the enslavement of human beings…the banking of profit and growth of industry on the backs of those slaves and later (gasp) immigrant workers…and the continued resentment of The Man towards anyone who dare covet the cake he now sees as his by divine right.
I am not threatened by a people wanting more…who will pay taxes when rich Americans do anything they can not to…who will pass a citizenship test most Americans can't…who will be bi-lingual when most Americans struggle with English…who will know the words to the National Anthem when fucking Senators and Congresspeople don’t…and who only spark fear because of where they come from, how they sound and what they look like.
We need to find a way to make this shit right and we sure as shit need to cease sounding like a nation of ethnocentric bigots and start sounding like a people who understand the history of this nation and the role of immigration in that history.
I don’t fear the illegal immigrant.
I fear The Man acting in fear of the illegal immigrant.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
A confessional...
The pollen St. Louis has been so plentiful…and my allergies have been so fucked up...ummm, well…oh, fuck it...
A bitch is back on the real Sudafed.
I know!
My ass kicked the habit…I really did.
But.
Well.
The real Sudafed makes my ears feel clear.
Blink.
What?
Shit.
Worry not! The drama of being profiled as a meth chef every time I score a fix…cough…purchase some legal allergy meds (wink) will eventually get on my nerves and force another detox.
Sigh.
A bitch is back on the real Sudafed.
I know!
My ass kicked the habit…I really did.
But.
Well.
The real Sudafed makes my ears feel clear.
Blink.
What?
Shit.
Worry not! The drama of being profiled as a meth chef every time I score a fix…cough…purchase some legal allergy meds (wink) will eventually get on my nerves and force another detox.
Sigh.
A matter of faith...
This bitch caught some morning television today.
Now, I know that some of y’all don’t believe in watching morning network sorta-news but this bitch thinks it’s important to know what the masses are mentally consuming. Suffice it to say it’s the mental equivalent of eating two honey buns, a side of bacon and a 20 oz Mountain Dew twice daily (wince).
Anyhoo, it seems that Senator Brownback of the fiendish occupants of a rancid corner in hell Brownbacks did what he does best and said something nasty about someone rather than articulating something positive…like an agenda applicable to this century or mayhap a smidge of viable public policy.
Cough.
Brownback’s minions sent forth an e-mail slamming Mormons. Specifically, the e-mail challenged whether Mormons worship the same Jesus as…well, Brownbackians.
Mercy.
Brownback apologized…Romney accepted…and trust that the ultra sanitized network news left it at that and moved on to discuss whether Prince William is really the “good brother” to prince Harry’s “bad boy ‘bout town”.
Blink.
But a bitch is intrigued.
For years conservatives have benefited from a ‘it’s us against the heathens philosophy’…Catholics have joined with Protestants to fight the grand holy fight against everyone and anyone not willing to join in and fight the grand holy fight.
These partnerships have always given me pause…for example, when folks join together to support a return of organized school prayer. Sounds easy enough…until one goes beyond the rhetoric into the world of reality where Catholics don’t pray like Evangelicals and neither faith prays like Southern Baptists and the possibility of getting one prayer approved is right up there with the perfect mouse trap.
Fast-forward to the attempt to distinguish a Brownbackian Jesus from a Mormon Jesus and this bitch can’t help but consider this a fucking predictable mess. “Faith” as a defining statement was never going to hold, people! Faith begs multiple questions…like what faith, when and how does this faith apply, why this faith and not that faith and so forth and so on.
All of the sudden it’s not as simple as Brownbackian Jesuses versus ...umm...other Jesuses!
And then you’ve got school chil’ren beating up other school chil’ren because they “pray funny” or don’t pray at all…Brownbackians insulting Mormons in a freakish attempt to revive the anti-Mormon era of American history…threats to deny Giuliani communion or make him sign a promise to support insert policy position in order to get communion…and generally an increase in the kind discussion about religion that can only give religion a bad name.
Whew.
But an individual’s religious faith does matter. If they take it seriously then it is a serious part of them. If they are bullshitting about it…well, I happen to think that says a lot about them too.
It occurs to me that the question isn’t whether faith matters, but rather how faith matters.
It is more about faith in application and less about what comes out of a candidate’s mouth.
Does your faith inspire you to work to end poverty…to protect the environment…to encourage peace instead of war?
Or does your faith require that you reject a person who is gay or that they truly can be gay...that you equate wealth with holiness and poverty with sin…that you disregard environmentalism as a devilish distraction?
Oh my!
Well, that is an awful lot to fit into a 5 minute mini-segment leading into a 15 minute teaser of the five part docu-series on those Princes all grows up...
Now, I know that some of y’all don’t believe in watching morning network sorta-news but this bitch thinks it’s important to know what the masses are mentally consuming. Suffice it to say it’s the mental equivalent of eating two honey buns, a side of bacon and a 20 oz Mountain Dew twice daily (wince).
Anyhoo, it seems that Senator Brownback of the fiendish occupants of a rancid corner in hell Brownbacks did what he does best and said something nasty about someone rather than articulating something positive…like an agenda applicable to this century or mayhap a smidge of viable public policy.
Cough.
Brownback’s minions sent forth an e-mail slamming Mormons. Specifically, the e-mail challenged whether Mormons worship the same Jesus as…well, Brownbackians.
Mercy.
Brownback apologized…Romney accepted…and trust that the ultra sanitized network news left it at that and moved on to discuss whether Prince William is really the “good brother” to prince Harry’s “bad boy ‘bout town”.
Blink.
But a bitch is intrigued.
For years conservatives have benefited from a ‘it’s us against the heathens philosophy’…Catholics have joined with Protestants to fight the grand holy fight against everyone and anyone not willing to join in and fight the grand holy fight.
These partnerships have always given me pause…for example, when folks join together to support a return of organized school prayer. Sounds easy enough…until one goes beyond the rhetoric into the world of reality where Catholics don’t pray like Evangelicals and neither faith prays like Southern Baptists and the possibility of getting one prayer approved is right up there with the perfect mouse trap.
Fast-forward to the attempt to distinguish a Brownbackian Jesus from a Mormon Jesus and this bitch can’t help but consider this a fucking predictable mess. “Faith” as a defining statement was never going to hold, people! Faith begs multiple questions…like what faith, when and how does this faith apply, why this faith and not that faith and so forth and so on.
All of the sudden it’s not as simple as Brownbackian Jesuses versus ...umm...other Jesuses!
And then you’ve got school chil’ren beating up other school chil’ren because they “pray funny” or don’t pray at all…Brownbackians insulting Mormons in a freakish attempt to revive the anti-Mormon era of American history…threats to deny Giuliani communion or make him sign a promise to support insert policy position in order to get communion…and generally an increase in the kind discussion about religion that can only give religion a bad name.
Whew.
But an individual’s religious faith does matter. If they take it seriously then it is a serious part of them. If they are bullshitting about it…well, I happen to think that says a lot about them too.
It occurs to me that the question isn’t whether faith matters, but rather how faith matters.
It is more about faith in application and less about what comes out of a candidate’s mouth.
Does your faith inspire you to work to end poverty…to protect the environment…to encourage peace instead of war?
Or does your faith require that you reject a person who is gay or that they truly can be gay...that you equate wealth with holiness and poverty with sin…that you disregard environmentalism as a devilish distraction?
Oh my!
Well, that is an awful lot to fit into a 5 minute mini-segment leading into a 15 minute teaser of the five part docu-series on those Princes all grows up...
Monday, June 18, 2007
Take the time...do it right…
Happy Monday chil’ren!
Congratulations to the volunteers who came out to support the 2007 Komen Race for the Cure in St. Louis!
It was hot as hell but so worth it.
There’s nothing like moving closer to a cure with 65,000+ pinkified fellow supporters!
Moving forward…
For a certain Sue Woo…
I lift your nephew up in thoughtful prayer to the Divine One. May he be safe as he returns to Iraq and may he know that he is loved and missed back home.
And may your family find peace and strength…
...until we study war no more.
Moving forward yet again…
Lock the door...pull out the phone...
This bitch caught the Sunday chats yesterday and my ass is concerned.
It seems that immigration reform is being handled with the same lack of attention to detail certain motherfuckers gave to the Patriot Act...the Iraq War plan...No Child Left Behind...Social Security reform...Medicare reform...reform of the Tax Code....ugh!
Blink.
Mmhmmm, a bitch keeps getting this mental picture of frustrated and eager to get their vacation on law makers squirming in leather back chairs whilst being forced to meet and discuss all things immigration and reform based.
I understand that immigration reform is a difficult to address thing.
But easy shit ain’t what y’all are getting paid to do!
Cough.
And this bitch doesn’t think the nation will be served by a bunch of hyperactive as if they were 11 years old and this were the last day of school before summer vacation lawmakers cramming complicated policy into a three to four day window…then not reading the shit they end up pasting together…and then voting for that shit knowing it has been fucked with to the point of no longer accomplishing a damned thing.
Lawd, have mercy!
So, a bitch would like to direct Congress and their policy minions to the inspirational work of The SOS Band.
And baby we can do it
Take the time
Do it right
We can do it, baby
Do it tonight!
Pause…shake groove thang in work-based area…continue.
Seriously...cough…a bitch is not concerned about immigration.
Blink.
But this reform by sundown or else technique of policy development terrifies the hell out of me.
My ass is beyond concerned about how the implementation of hastily tossed together without care of consideration bullshit infused so insert lawmaker’s name could move it off their desk and go get their tan on in Bermuda courtesy of insert special interest lobby’s name sorta-legislation will impact the masses…my city…and my friends.
So, take the time...assholes!
Do it right…for the love of all that’s policy based and hard as hell to fix once voted into existence!
Congratulations to the volunteers who came out to support the 2007 Komen Race for the Cure in St. Louis!
It was hot as hell but so worth it.
There’s nothing like moving closer to a cure with 65,000+ pinkified fellow supporters!
Moving forward…
For a certain Sue Woo…
I lift your nephew up in thoughtful prayer to the Divine One. May he be safe as he returns to Iraq and may he know that he is loved and missed back home.
And may your family find peace and strength…
...until we study war no more.
Moving forward yet again…
Lock the door...pull out the phone...
This bitch caught the Sunday chats yesterday and my ass is concerned.
It seems that immigration reform is being handled with the same lack of attention to detail certain motherfuckers gave to the Patriot Act...the Iraq War plan...No Child Left Behind...Social Security reform...Medicare reform...reform of the Tax Code....ugh!
Blink.
Mmhmmm, a bitch keeps getting this mental picture of frustrated and eager to get their vacation on law makers squirming in leather back chairs whilst being forced to meet and discuss all things immigration and reform based.
I understand that immigration reform is a difficult to address thing.
But easy shit ain’t what y’all are getting paid to do!
Cough.
And this bitch doesn’t think the nation will be served by a bunch of hyperactive as if they were 11 years old and this were the last day of school before summer vacation lawmakers cramming complicated policy into a three to four day window…then not reading the shit they end up pasting together…and then voting for that shit knowing it has been fucked with to the point of no longer accomplishing a damned thing.
Lawd, have mercy!
So, a bitch would like to direct Congress and their policy minions to the inspirational work of The SOS Band.
And baby we can do it
Take the time
Do it right
We can do it, baby
Do it tonight!
Pause…shake groove thang in work-based area…continue.
Seriously...cough…a bitch is not concerned about immigration.
Blink.
But this reform by sundown or else technique of policy development terrifies the hell out of me.
My ass is beyond concerned about how the implementation of hastily tossed together without care of consideration bullshit infused so insert lawmaker’s name could move it off their desk and go get their tan on in Bermuda courtesy of insert special interest lobby’s name sorta-legislation will impact the masses…my city…and my friends.
So, take the time...assholes!
Do it right…for the love of all that’s policy based and hard as hell to fix once voted into existence!
Friday, June 15, 2007
Remembering…
This Sunday is Father’s Day and this bitch can’t help thinking of my beloved father who passed away several years ago.
I think of him most during random moments…while doing lawn work or eating a hot dog. Those memories are so vivid they sometimes take my breath away…sudden images of the most random of moments that seemed so insignificant until the possibility of them no longer existed.
I have learned some amazing lessons through the process of missing my father and coming to accept the ever present ache that is loss and remembrance.
I’ve learned that wild outrageous laughter has no expiration date. It floats eternal in the atmosphere of those who experienced it. I close my eyes and my mind reaches out and captures it…ah, just for a moment to savor his loud crazy from the stomach laughter that made heads turn and caused lips to curve.
I know that the taste of my father’s nastified experimental meatloaf is a stronger memory than the grandest of meals or fanciest of dining experiences. I will never forget the look of culinary satisfaction on his face while removing that meatloaf from the oven or how it transformed into comic horror after his first sample.
And I know that my father’s flaws were as precious as all of his distinguished accomplishments. I even understand his fear of an empty refrigerator…that paranoia about hunger that he never could shake no matter how many years he put between himself and the abject poverty of his youth.
Sigh.
This Father’s Day I lovingly remember those flaws and imperfections…the deep appreciation for motor oil and grilled meat…the dedication to social justice and giving back…the inability to resist fucking up perfectly decent recipes by adding ridiculous amounts of oatmeal and/or coffee…and the laughter.
Oh yes, his laughter...
…always.
I think of him most during random moments…while doing lawn work or eating a hot dog. Those memories are so vivid they sometimes take my breath away…sudden images of the most random of moments that seemed so insignificant until the possibility of them no longer existed.
I have learned some amazing lessons through the process of missing my father and coming to accept the ever present ache that is loss and remembrance.
I’ve learned that wild outrageous laughter has no expiration date. It floats eternal in the atmosphere of those who experienced it. I close my eyes and my mind reaches out and captures it…ah, just for a moment to savor his loud crazy from the stomach laughter that made heads turn and caused lips to curve.
I know that the taste of my father’s nastified experimental meatloaf is a stronger memory than the grandest of meals or fanciest of dining experiences. I will never forget the look of culinary satisfaction on his face while removing that meatloaf from the oven or how it transformed into comic horror after his first sample.
And I know that my father’s flaws were as precious as all of his distinguished accomplishments. I even understand his fear of an empty refrigerator…that paranoia about hunger that he never could shake no matter how many years he put between himself and the abject poverty of his youth.
Sigh.
This Father’s Day I lovingly remember those flaws and imperfections…the deep appreciation for motor oil and grilled meat…the dedication to social justice and giving back…the inability to resist fucking up perfectly decent recipes by adding ridiculous amounts of oatmeal and/or coffee…and the laughter.
Oh yes, his laughter...
…always.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Oh, yes he did...!
Co-founder of the United Church of Bitchitude and Latter Day Drunks, his Pontifical Greatness Brother Rob Thurman, has returned to the blog stage.
A bitch would like to direct y’all to his most recent post for discussion and debate.
Welcome back!
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back…
A bitch would like to direct y’all to his most recent post for discussion and debate.
Welcome back!
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back…
One moment in time…
A bitch woke up this morning with politics on my mind.
Let’s jump right the hell on in, shall we?
Step onto soap box…fluff afro…begin...
NBC is feasting on the carcass of a new political poll showing that Americans are disgusted with government.
Oh my!
Is that fucking news to anyone?
Maybe it is…but it shouldn’t be.
Flock of bitchitude, this bitch is exhausted…but I’ve got some serious work to do.
Hit it Whitney!
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Congress is fixing to take their Independence Day break and return home. Now is the time to make certain our elected officials return home to the judgment of the masses…to our voice and our concerns…to the constituency they answer to, damn it…and to the bitchitude behind those poll numbers.
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel,
I will feel
Eternity
There is a tendency to get so fucking disgusted that we simply want to holla and throw up both our hands (wink)...but this shit requires action not apathy.
Our role in government didn't stop at the voting booth.
Blink.
And this bitch isn’t talking about shooting off one of those electronic form-based e-mails. I’ve got nothing against them, but my ass plans to pick up the fucking phone…and then write a letter…and then send an e-mail…and then follow up on all that shit with another phone call.
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Because the shit that government is failing to address or addressing poorly because they just want to move some paper…Lawd, have mercy…that shit fucking matters!
Give me one moment in time...to jump up the ass of my elected representatives and tell them how I feel about specific shit.
When I'm racing with destiny...because the leak we fail to fix today ain’t going to miraculously fix itself. It is time to break out some tools or build a boat!
Then in that one moment of time...make up that list of to-do shit that didn't get done, locate the proper contact information,
document the voting records and get down to the bitness of governing government.
Big finish....
I will be free!
Steps off of soap box.
Shit!
Now that damned song is stuck in my head...
Let’s jump right the hell on in, shall we?
Step onto soap box…fluff afro…begin...
NBC is feasting on the carcass of a new political poll showing that Americans are disgusted with government.
Oh my!
Is that fucking news to anyone?
Maybe it is…but it shouldn’t be.
Flock of bitchitude, this bitch is exhausted…but I’ve got some serious work to do.
Hit it Whitney!
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Congress is fixing to take their Independence Day break and return home. Now is the time to make certain our elected officials return home to the judgment of the masses…to our voice and our concerns…to the constituency they answer to, damn it…and to the bitchitude behind those poll numbers.
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel,
I will feel
Eternity
There is a tendency to get so fucking disgusted that we simply want to holla and throw up both our hands (wink)...but this shit requires action not apathy.
Our role in government didn't stop at the voting booth.
Blink.
And this bitch isn’t talking about shooting off one of those electronic form-based e-mails. I’ve got nothing against them, but my ass plans to pick up the fucking phone…and then write a letter…and then send an e-mail…and then follow up on all that shit with another phone call.
Give me one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams
Are a heart beat away
And the answers are all up to me
Because the shit that government is failing to address or addressing poorly because they just want to move some paper…Lawd, have mercy…that shit fucking matters!
Give me one moment in time...to jump up the ass of my elected representatives and tell them how I feel about specific shit.
When I'm racing with destiny...because the leak we fail to fix today ain’t going to miraculously fix itself. It is time to break out some tools or build a boat!
Then in that one moment of time...make up that list of to-do shit that didn't get done, locate the proper contact information,
document the voting records and get down to the bitness of governing government.Big finish....
I will be free!
Steps off of soap box.
Shit!
Now that damned song is stuck in my head...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Ugh!
A bitch is feeling illish…followed by stressed the fuck out…followed by exhausted by this thing 
called life…and generally shitty.
Sigh.
I’ve got to pull myself together in time for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure this Saturday (June 16)!
My still fubar leg may not allow for any racing but you can bet your ass this bitch will be limping for a cure this weekend (wink).
Sigh again.
Mmmhmmm, I need an evening of calm.
This bitch is going to go home, soak my leg and indulge in a night of telephone avoidance and Discovery Channel viewage…
Blink.
…whilst drinking a fantabulous vodka followed by cran in my couch-based area.
Toodles until tomorrow…
called life…and generally shitty.Sigh.
I’ve got to pull myself together in time for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure this Saturday (June 16)!
My still fubar leg may not allow for any racing but you can bet your ass this bitch will be limping for a cure this weekend (wink).
Sigh again.
Mmmhmmm, I need an evening of calm.
This bitch is going to go home, soak my leg and indulge in a night of telephone avoidance and Discovery Channel viewage…
Blink.
…whilst drinking a fantabulous vodka followed by cran in my couch-based area.
Toodles until tomorrow…
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
By request, my thoughts on the autism lawsuit…
A certain Maggie sent forth a request for this bitch’s thoughts on the lawsuit seeking damages from the government for autism cases allegedly caused by vaccinations.
As most of you know this bitch’s older brother is autistic.
Cough…consider…commence.
A bitch must confess to being unimpressed with the research done to clarify this issue. Researchers tended to view autism as a homogenous disease rather than a spectrum disorder and dismissed connections out of hand because they couldn’t be uniformly applied to an absolute. This bitch has long suspected that the notion that some forms of autism might be triggered by vaccination in some chil’ren was not explored thoroughly because that shit threatens parental support of childhood vaccinations.
Whoa…hold it!
Catch that knee…catch it!
I am not saying that there is a connection between vaccinations and autism.
What I am saying is that my ass hasn’t been convinced one way or the other.
Mercy!
Anyhoo, the lawsuit will not solve anything scientifically or prove anything other than the fact that family members of some autistics are frustrated with the medical community’s unwillingness to listen to them. Too often concerned families run into the brick wall of ignore and redirect.
As a co-guardian to an autistic adult I sure as shit can testify to that ongoing frustration (wink).
Autism is not one solid block of blue or red and it may have as many triggers as the spectrum has colors. Medical research should partner with family members rather than seek to shut them up.
We’re not the enemy…yet (wink).
We are the caregivers who face a lifetime with autism…a lifetime of taking care of those children who are blessed to grow into autistic adults with adult challenges and needs.
Some of us want to know how this happened.
We want to know why.
So, there is comfort in a theory…any theory…when faced with a lifetime of "I don’t know" and "we’ll have to wait and see".
But I also find potential in the unpopular theory.
The world was once flat and to think it round was once insanity...
As most of you know this bitch’s older brother is autistic.
Cough…consider…commence.
A bitch must confess to being unimpressed with the research done to clarify this issue. Researchers tended to view autism as a homogenous disease rather than a spectrum disorder and dismissed connections out of hand because they couldn’t be uniformly applied to an absolute. This bitch has long suspected that the notion that some forms of autism might be triggered by vaccination in some chil’ren was not explored thoroughly because that shit threatens parental support of childhood vaccinations.
Whoa…hold it!
Catch that knee…catch it!
I am not saying that there is a connection between vaccinations and autism.
What I am saying is that my ass hasn’t been convinced one way or the other.
Mercy!
Anyhoo, the lawsuit will not solve anything scientifically or prove anything other than the fact that family members of some autistics are frustrated with the medical community’s unwillingness to listen to them. Too often concerned families run into the brick wall of ignore and redirect.
As a co-guardian to an autistic adult I sure as shit can testify to that ongoing frustration (wink).
Autism is not one solid block of blue or red and it may have as many triggers as the spectrum has colors. Medical research should partner with family members rather than seek to shut them up.
We’re not the enemy…yet (wink).
We are the caregivers who face a lifetime with autism…a lifetime of taking care of those children who are blessed to grow into autistic adults with adult challenges and needs.
Some of us want to know how this happened.
We want to know why.
So, there is comfort in a theory…any theory…when faced with a lifetime of "I don’t know" and "we’ll have to wait and see".
But I also find potential in the unpopular theory.
The world was once flat and to think it round was once insanity...
Happy Birthday Play Husband!
Faithful flock of bitchitude, please join this bitch in wishing a very happy birthday to The Play Husband!
All power to the people, Brother Brian!
All power to the people…
All power to the people, Brother Brian!
All power to the people…
Monday, June 11, 2007
Who knew…?
His domestic policy initiatives may be falling apart…American prestige on the international diplomatic stage may be a fond memory …and most of the world may boo followed by hiss followed by cross thyself at the thought of Bush and his minions trying to “solve” anything…
…but they’ve got nothing but love for Scooter B. in Albania!
Blink.
…but they’ve got nothing but love for Scooter B. in Albania!
Blink.
Friday, June 08, 2007
A random G-8 pondering...
Almost everyone this bitch knows has been struck by that nastified flu bug swarming about, so a bitch isn't going to get my conspiracy on regarding President Bush’s summit interrupting stomach malfunction.
But the rest of yesterday’s G-8 gossip is still on the table! Specifically, a certain President Putin’s diplomatic surprise suggestion-based offering to share use of the huge Soviet-era radar at Gabala in northeast Azerbaijan with Scooter B.’s missile shield.
Blink.
Oh, no he didn’t?
Oh, yes he did!
Mmhmmm, Putin and his crew caught the United States delegation napping…or was it puking their brains out…and tossed out some old school chess-like diplomacy.
Since the United States wasn’t prepared for polite conversation from Putin much less generous offerings and suggestions they didn’t have the wiggle room to reject that shit outright.
Now, Scooter B. and the minions will have to scramble to come up with a plausible reason why they can’t make use of Gabala.
A bitch is thinking Putin anticipates our refusal and plans to turn to the world and declare that America does not come in peace and truly was up to no good with the missile shield or they’d build it in partnership with Russia.
Oh my!
Add to that shit the move made by Team Putin today when they tossed out a suggestion that the missile shield be built in Iraq!
Damn.
The seas of sorta-allied friendship have become rough as a motherfucker, y'all!
It’s no wonder a certain someone spent yesterday tossing up his mac & cheese…
But the rest of yesterday’s G-8 gossip is still on the table! Specifically, a certain President Putin’s diplomatic surprise suggestion-based offering to share use of the huge Soviet-era radar at Gabala in northeast Azerbaijan with Scooter B.’s missile shield.
Blink.
Oh, no he didn’t?
Oh, yes he did!
Mmhmmm, Putin and his crew caught the United States delegation napping…or was it puking their brains out…and tossed out some old school chess-like diplomacy.
Since the United States wasn’t prepared for polite conversation from Putin much less generous offerings and suggestions they didn’t have the wiggle room to reject that shit outright.
Now, Scooter B. and the minions will have to scramble to come up with a plausible reason why they can’t make use of Gabala.
A bitch is thinking Putin anticipates our refusal and plans to turn to the world and declare that America does not come in peace and truly was up to no good with the missile shield or they’d build it in partnership with Russia.
Oh my!
Add to that shit the move made by Team Putin today when they tossed out a suggestion that the missile shield be built in Iraq!
Damn.
The seas of sorta-allied friendship have become rough as a motherfucker, y'all!
It’s no wonder a certain someone spent yesterday tossing up his mac & cheese…
ACLU-EM Annual Membership Meeting
FYI locals...
ACLU-EM Annual Membership Meeting
Saturday June 9, 2-4pm
at the Offices of the ACLU of Eastern Missouri
454 Whittier Street (at Olive) in the historic Gaslight Square
Event will include:
Election of Officers and Board Members
Student Press Awards
and
Panel on Immigrant Rights
Moderated by ACLU-EM Legal Director Tony Rothert
Featuring: Missouri Representative Jeanette Mott Oxford
Valley Park, Missouri resident Martha Rodriquez
ACLU National Immigrants' Rights Education Coordinator Mariana Bustamante
Open House Tour and Reception to follow the meeting!
ACLU-EM Annual Membership Meeting
Saturday June 9, 2-4pm
at the Offices of the ACLU of Eastern Missouri
454 Whittier Street (at Olive) in the historic Gaslight Square
Event will include:
Election of Officers and Board Members
Student Press Awards
and
Panel on Immigrant Rights
Moderated by ACLU-EM Legal Director Tony Rothert
Featuring: Missouri Representative Jeanette Mott Oxford
Valley Park, Missouri resident Martha Rodriquez
ACLU National Immigrants' Rights Education Coordinator Mariana Bustamante
Open House Tour and Reception to follow the meeting!
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Congrats to the Ducks...
Congrats to the Ducks and Duck-based fans on winning the Stanley Cup last night!
Sigh.
And much love to the Sens for a great run...
You knew this one was coming…
This bitch just read the news that a certain Paris Hilton was released from jail into house arrest (I see bedazzled ankle bracelets as the next 'it' trend) due to a medical condition. I’m dying to know what medical condition we’re talking about.
It must be rare as a motherfucker to not preclude partying, sorta-acting in a television show or attending an awards show within hours of turning thyself in…and yet specifically make sitting about in jail for 23 days dangerous to one’s health.
Blink.
Long time readers know of a bitch’s concern over the Paris Hiltonification of America. But the admission that Paris Hilton is ill rather than simply a vapid threat to the advancement of human kind actually soothed my anxiety.
You see, Paris Hilton is suffering from a wicked case of Privilege Robustus.
Gasp!
As a matter of fact, there may be an outbreak of it in Los Angeles. Britney, Lindsay, Nicole and Paris…yeah, we’re talking CDC worthy infection numbers! If we don’t act quickly this could turn out to be as bad as the Great Gilded Age Outbreak of 1889 (wink)!
Yes, it’s easy to become frantic over the thought of Paris Hilton walking amongst the rich and unfabulous spreading Privilege Robustus around via double cheek air kisses for years. And I know that your thoughts and prayers are now with her former fellow inmates who you fear were unknowingly exposed for the…ummm, well…three days she actually spent in jail.
But have no fear, chil’ren!
Everyone can’t catch Privilege Robustus. It takes a lot of money, the lawyers that money can buy and a judicial system sympathetic to the plight of the extremely rich and overly pampered.
Which helps explain why Paris Hilton is probably lounging by her pool with a designer ankle bracelet on sipping a Mai Tai while other young women remain in their jail cells waiting for the slow wheels of justice to sorta-turn.
Nice.
It must be rare as a motherfucker to not preclude partying, sorta-acting in a television show or attending an awards show within hours of turning thyself in…and yet specifically make sitting about in jail for 23 days dangerous to one’s health.
Blink.
Long time readers know of a bitch’s concern over the Paris Hiltonification of America. But the admission that Paris Hilton is ill rather than simply a vapid threat to the advancement of human kind actually soothed my anxiety.
You see, Paris Hilton is suffering from a wicked case of Privilege Robustus.
Gasp!
As a matter of fact, there may be an outbreak of it in Los Angeles. Britney, Lindsay, Nicole and Paris…yeah, we’re talking CDC worthy infection numbers! If we don’t act quickly this could turn out to be as bad as the Great Gilded Age Outbreak of 1889 (wink)!
Yes, it’s easy to become frantic over the thought of Paris Hilton walking amongst the rich and unfabulous spreading Privilege Robustus around via double cheek air kisses for years. And I know that your thoughts and prayers are now with her former fellow inmates who you fear were unknowingly exposed for the…ummm, well…three days she actually spent in jail.
But have no fear, chil’ren!
Everyone can’t catch Privilege Robustus. It takes a lot of money, the lawyers that money can buy and a judicial system sympathetic to the plight of the extremely rich and overly pampered.
Which helps explain why Paris Hilton is probably lounging by her pool with a designer ankle bracelet on sipping a Mai Tai while other young women remain in their jail cells waiting for the slow wheels of justice to sorta-turn.
Nice.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Permanent…
A bitch would like to hit reverse and touch on a slightly dated news story.
The United States has been planning and building towards a permanent presence in Iraq modeled on the Korean solution.
Blink.
Administration officials in the past have denied that the United States would have a permanent presence…Scooter B. and his minions went on and on about accomplishing the mission and getting out. Speech after speech was given assuring all that the United States is not an occupying force…that we would stand down once Iraqis stand up…that an Iraqi War victory existed and, once achieved, would birth the reward of withdrawal.
In reality Bush & Co. have been planning to build three to four permanent military bases in Iraq for years.
They are now testing newish bullshit by comparing a permanent U.S. presence in Iraq with our presence in Korea.
Pause…sip water…continue.
Scooter B. and his minions have slapped together some half assed intellectually lazy rancid mess and are trying to sell it as kimchi!
Blink.
And even a fool can see it isn't kimchi any more than Iraq is Korea!
Cough.
This plan reeks of an administration attempting to slide out the back door on the judgment of history without paying the motherfucking bill come due by selling the masses on the notion that Iraq can achieve détente through further U.S. involvement.
Wince.
Damnit to hell and back again, they’ve made my afro hurt!
Shit.
Iraq is not Korea and permanent bases are not a new way forward.
Gawd save us from the return of LBJ's denial, because this plan will have America shoulder deep in Vietnam-esque resistance to neocolonial conquest for decades.
The United States has been planning and building towards a permanent presence in Iraq modeled on the Korean solution.
Blink.
Administration officials in the past have denied that the United States would have a permanent presence…Scooter B. and his minions went on and on about accomplishing the mission and getting out. Speech after speech was given assuring all that the United States is not an occupying force…that we would stand down once Iraqis stand up…that an Iraqi War victory existed and, once achieved, would birth the reward of withdrawal.
In reality Bush & Co. have been planning to build three to four permanent military bases in Iraq for years.
They are now testing newish bullshit by comparing a permanent U.S. presence in Iraq with our presence in Korea.
Pause…sip water…continue.
Scooter B. and his minions have slapped together some half assed intellectually lazy rancid mess and are trying to sell it as kimchi!
Blink.
And even a fool can see it isn't kimchi any more than Iraq is Korea!
Cough.
This plan reeks of an administration attempting to slide out the back door on the judgment of history without paying the motherfucking bill come due by selling the masses on the notion that Iraq can achieve détente through further U.S. involvement.
Wince.
Damnit to hell and back again, they’ve made my afro hurt!
Shit.
Iraq is not Korea and permanent bases are not a new way forward.
Gawd save us from the return of LBJ's denial, because this plan will have America shoulder deep in Vietnam-esque resistance to neocolonial conquest for decades.
Autism fundraiser...
A certain Cats at Finding Avalon was kind enough to bring this autism-based fundraiser to my attention.
The folks at Autism Speaks created a music video of the Five for Fighting song, "World", featuring images of autistic children and their families (The Bitch Squad not included...wink). The video was the work of Bill Shea.
Five for Fighting is donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for each time the video is viewed - the funding goes toward research studies to find a cure.
Please take a moment to view the video and please pass this along.
I understand the goal to be 10,000 hits but this bitch thinks we can do better than that!
Thanks in advance.
Toodles!
the link one more time
The folks at Autism Speaks created a music video of the Five for Fighting song, "World", featuring images of autistic children and their families (The Bitch Squad not included...wink). The video was the work of Bill Shea.
Five for Fighting is donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for each time the video is viewed - the funding goes toward research studies to find a cure.
Please take a moment to view the video and please pass this along.
I understand the goal to be 10,000 hits but this bitch thinks we can do better than that!
Thanks in advance.
Toodles!
the link one more time
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Scooter B. and Vladimir - A Waking Dream-based exploration inspired by too much sugar…
This bitch just caught Scooter B.’s latest Russia speech and…well, the deterioration of that relationship troubles me.
As I sit inhaling Werther’s Caramel Coffee hard candies…triple happiness followed by multitudes of joy…my mind wanders and begins to explore the awkward as hell meeting of two overly powerful men soon to occur at the G 8 Summit.
Scooter B. and Vladimir - A Waking Dream based exploration inspired by too much sugar…
Scooter B. glanced anxiously out the window of the car as the driver worked steadily toward the summit site.
Would it be tense, he wondered…or worst yet awkward? Would he and the President of Russia have anything left to say to each other?
He sighed and tried to recall the profound trust and deep emotion he felt the last time he looked into Vladimir’s eyes.
What went wrong?
Scooter B. cleared his throat, attempted to focus and began to review his notes.
“George?”
He turned his gaze to Condi.
“Well, ummm…did you want to go over the agenda?” she asked.
George turned away and again looked out the window.
“I never should have listened to you about that stupid missile shield.” He said softly. “Jesus to Gawd, woman! You’re supposed to be an expert in Russian what nots and do nots. How the fuck did you fail to anticipate this shit pissing them off? Now I might not get my missile shield, we may have talked our way into another Cold War and Vladimir won’t return my phone calls.”
Condi cringed at the whine in Scooter’s voice. This is going to be one long ass summit, she thought bitterly as the car pulled to a stop and they exited.
Condi and Scooter B. entered the summit room to find it empty.
Hurrying back through the door Condi tossed out “I’ll just run and see where everyone is!”
Scooter B. walked to the window only to turn at the sound of measured foot steps on deep carpet.
“Vladimir?” he whispered.
“George.” Vladimir replied sharply.
“Oh Vladimir! My dear Volodya ! I have missed you so.” George said and rushed forward a few steps.
“Don’t.” replied Vladimir. “Just don’t go there you stupid fool!”
“What?”
“You dare to ask me what? Our nations are on the brink of kicking off another Cold War because of your mouth and you’re asking me what?”
“Look, the missile shield was Cheney’s idea. I never even read the memo!” Scooter B. pleaded.
“Right. And all that shit you’ve said about rolling back democratic reforms. Oh, please! You had to know that shit was going to require a response from me.” Vladimir rolled his eyes and folded his arms.
“Don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad! You complete me, Volodya! You complete me!”
“Shut up, ass!” Vladimir snapped. “You’re lucky this whole mess may work out in my favor. With any luck you have talked me into being appointed President for life! How’s that for democratic reform? Asshole!” Laughing, Vladimir stalked away leaving Scooter B. alone and distraught in the conference room.
Fade to black as Condi enters carrying a box of Kleenex and softly humming Laura’s Theme from Dr. Zhivago…
As I sit inhaling Werther’s Caramel Coffee hard candies…triple happiness followed by multitudes of joy…my mind wanders and begins to explore the awkward as hell meeting of two overly powerful men soon to occur at the G 8 Summit.
Scooter B. and Vladimir - A Waking Dream based exploration inspired by too much sugar…
Scooter B. glanced anxiously out the window of the car as the driver worked steadily toward the summit site.
Would it be tense, he wondered…or worst yet awkward? Would he and the President of Russia have anything left to say to each other?
He sighed and tried to recall the profound trust and deep emotion he felt the last time he looked into Vladimir’s eyes.
What went wrong?
Scooter B. cleared his throat, attempted to focus and began to review his notes.
“George?”
He turned his gaze to Condi.
“Well, ummm…did you want to go over the agenda?” she asked.
George turned away and again looked out the window.
“I never should have listened to you about that stupid missile shield.” He said softly. “Jesus to Gawd, woman! You’re supposed to be an expert in Russian what nots and do nots. How the fuck did you fail to anticipate this shit pissing them off? Now I might not get my missile shield, we may have talked our way into another Cold War and Vladimir won’t return my phone calls.”
Condi cringed at the whine in Scooter’s voice. This is going to be one long ass summit, she thought bitterly as the car pulled to a stop and they exited.
Condi and Scooter B. entered the summit room to find it empty.
Hurrying back through the door Condi tossed out “I’ll just run and see where everyone is!”
Scooter B. walked to the window only to turn at the sound of measured foot steps on deep carpet.
“Vladimir?” he whispered.
“George.” Vladimir replied sharply.
“Oh Vladimir! My dear Volodya ! I have missed you so.” George said and rushed forward a few steps.
“Don’t.” replied Vladimir. “Just don’t go there you stupid fool!”
“What?”
“You dare to ask me what? Our nations are on the brink of kicking off another Cold War because of your mouth and you’re asking me what?”
“Look, the missile shield was Cheney’s idea. I never even read the memo!” Scooter B. pleaded.
“Right. And all that shit you’ve said about rolling back democratic reforms. Oh, please! You had to know that shit was going to require a response from me.” Vladimir rolled his eyes and folded his arms.
“Don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad! You complete me, Volodya! You complete me!”
“Shut up, ass!” Vladimir snapped. “You’re lucky this whole mess may work out in my favor. With any luck you have talked me into being appointed President for life! How’s that for democratic reform? Asshole!” Laughing, Vladimir stalked away leaving Scooter B. alone and distraught in the conference room.
Fade to black as Condi enters carrying a box of Kleenex and softly humming Laura’s Theme from Dr. Zhivago…
Chil’ren, we have ourselves a sentence…
Oh shit!
A bitch was in the middle of a post about the agony of defeat (but don’t give up…it aint over till it’s over!!!) when the breaking news flashed that a certain Scooter Libby of the unashamed and unapologetic about using the weapons of government to attack a CIA Agent (shame!!) Libbified clan has been sentenced to 30 months in prison.
Holy shit!
A bitch was sure Scooter L. would get probation knowing the ability for The Man to get away with all manner of illegal shit and not pay for it whilst the masses get the book thrown at them for first offenses…but that’s another post…cough…where was I?
Oh, holy shit!
Pause…consider…continue.
Well, clearly the asshole is going to appeal…and appeal…which will bring on more appeals…and so forth and so on until the calendar says Novemberish 2008 and Scooter B. (President Bush for the uninitiated) is faced with a pardon-based decision.
Whatever will he do?!?
Blink followed by blink.
Oh, the weight of leadership and heavy decisions and respons…oh, fuck that shit.
We are talking about the same motherfucker who has turned Leader of the Free World into a 9 am to 5pm with three 15 minute breaks plus lunch and 4 years vacation insulting as a motherfucker joke.
This bitch is willing to bet Libby’s pardon is signed…sealed…and fixing to be delivered in November 2008 sure as shit stinks and babies cry.
A bitch was in the middle of a post about the agony of defeat (but don’t give up…it aint over till it’s over!!!) when the breaking news flashed that a certain Scooter Libby of the unashamed and unapologetic about using the weapons of government to attack a CIA Agent (shame!!) Libbified clan has been sentenced to 30 months in prison.
Holy shit!
A bitch was sure Scooter L. would get probation knowing the ability for The Man to get away with all manner of illegal shit and not pay for it whilst the masses get the book thrown at them for first offenses…but that’s another post…cough…where was I?
Oh, holy shit!
Pause…consider…continue.
Well, clearly the asshole is going to appeal…and appeal…which will bring on more appeals…and so forth and so on until the calendar says Novemberish 2008 and Scooter B. (President Bush for the uninitiated) is faced with a pardon-based decision.
Whatever will he do?!?
Blink followed by blink.
Oh, the weight of leadership and heavy decisions and respons…oh, fuck that shit.
We are talking about the same motherfucker who has turned Leader of the Free World into a 9 am to 5pm with three 15 minute breaks plus lunch and 4 years vacation insulting as a motherfucker joke.
This bitch is willing to bet Libby’s pardon is signed…sealed…and fixing to be delivered in November 2008 sure as shit stinks and babies cry.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Old Time Hockey!
Long time readers know that this bitch is a huge hockey fan and it will come as no surprise that my ass is watching the battle for Lord Stanley's Cup on the telly right now.
And who should come 'cross my television screen at intermission?
Don fucking Cherry!
Rock 'em sock 'em hockey himself.
Pause...watch Cherry go off for a second or two...continue.
Why am I craving KFC now?
Anyhoo...
He took over the show and called for the return of fights in the NHL.
Blink.
Somehow I don't see players making a run on foil just yet.
But fuck it if that wasn't worth a laugh.
Come on Ottawa!
And who should come 'cross my television screen at intermission?
Don fucking Cherry!
Rock 'em sock 'em hockey himself.
Pause...watch Cherry go off for a second or two...continue.
Why am I craving KFC now?
Anyhoo...
He took over the show and called for the return of fights in the NHL.
Blink.
Somehow I don't see players making a run on foil just yet.
But fuck it if that wasn't worth a laugh.
Come on Ottawa!
Weekend review...
Whew, this bitch had a busier that hell weekend.
The month of June is insane!
Thank you to everyone who expressed concern over my technical drama. No, Miss SisterGirl MacBook is not illish again (thank Gawd)! But the internets lost their motherfucking mind last week, thus this bitch had to do a little technical correction (wink).
As a matter of fact everything lost its motherfucking mind Friday so this bitch had to shake the dust off of the merciless rod of correction and re-establish my authority!
Lawd, why can’t people just act right?
Blink.
Mayhap they enjoy to merciless rod of correction?
Freaks (wink).
Anyhoo, bitchitude once again triumphed over bullshit…and the willful internets…and all is well with my technological world again.
Moving forward…
This bitch got a lot of lawn work done this weekend. I woke up Saturday and was beyond hung over from a night of debauch at AMP.
What?
Shit, it was AMP’s official grand opening spectacular! A bitch had to have a vodka cran…or two…or three…cough…to celebrate.
So, my ass woke up hung over as hell. After a breakfast of yummified cheesy eggs, toast with butter and jam and potato fried with onion (yum!)…oh, and several Excedrin…C-Money and this bitch tackled the yard work.
Let me tell y’all, yard work after a stressful week can be very satisfying! C-Money particularly enjoyed murdering all manner of weeds with her vengeful weed whacker and multitude of poisons.
Post yard work, a bitch settled on the couch and ate more Excedrin. Something told me to click on CNN to see what the fuck was what and…gasp…something was afoot in New York!
Tony I’m confused over easily understood shit, excited about predictable and boring shit and alarmed over completely un-alarming shit Harris was breaking some breaking news…hard. An apparent plot to attack JFK was foiled…and the story was leaking out slow as cold honey…but that didn’t stop Tony Harris from jumping on my journalistic nerves and doing a bloody jig.
Who the hell is this man?
Why does he sound like a morning radio person?
Hold up and allow me to back up.
Tony Harris has been working this bitch’s nerves since he took over the 8 o’clock weekday slot. A bitch used to watch CNN whilst fluffing my afro ‘bout that time…but then came Harris with his overacting child star exuberant vocalizations followed by some of the dumbest questions ever asked by a grown man on television.
Shit.
Harris made CNN even more unwatchable.
Ugh!
Fastforward to Saturday and there he was breaking the JFK terror plot story. He did the new CNN FOX in drag thang…forgetting to use words like alleged, neglecting to point out fact from speculation and then going on several “these people” absolute statement rants for spice.
But when he actually paused…Lawd, give me strength…to say that he needed to be mindful of Journalism 101…mercy…and then inserted the word alleged into a sentence regarding the charges as if accuracy were a motherfucking joke and Journalism 101 was the punch line…ugh…well that’s when this bitch had go.
Murrow he aint (shudder).
On a different CNN-based note, Wolfie B. moderated the sorta-debate amongst Democrats yesterday!
Blink.
The set change mid debate was…well, interesting. But this bitch isn’t fond of sound-bites lacking in substance and the format didn't allow for a lot of substance to get through.
Oh, and all those raise your hand if you blah, blah followed by blah nonsense was bizarre.
Wolfie B, you need to call a bitch and run dumb assed shit like that by me before going on air!
A bitch suspects multiple meetings over set contingencies and camera angles left too little time for question-based review.
Wince.
At least the hand raising bullshit gave the candidates something to agree on…
The month of June is insane!
Thank you to everyone who expressed concern over my technical drama. No, Miss SisterGirl MacBook is not illish again (thank Gawd)! But the internets lost their motherfucking mind last week, thus this bitch had to do a little technical correction (wink).
As a matter of fact everything lost its motherfucking mind Friday so this bitch had to shake the dust off of the merciless rod of correction and re-establish my authority!
Lawd, why can’t people just act right?
Blink.
Mayhap they enjoy to merciless rod of correction?
Freaks (wink).
Anyhoo, bitchitude once again triumphed over bullshit…and the willful internets…and all is well with my technological world again.
Moving forward…
This bitch got a lot of lawn work done this weekend. I woke up Saturday and was beyond hung over from a night of debauch at AMP.
What?
Shit, it was AMP’s official grand opening spectacular! A bitch had to have a vodka cran…or two…or three…cough…to celebrate.
So, my ass woke up hung over as hell. After a breakfast of yummified cheesy eggs, toast with butter and jam and potato fried with onion (yum!)…oh, and several Excedrin…C-Money and this bitch tackled the yard work.
Let me tell y’all, yard work after a stressful week can be very satisfying! C-Money particularly enjoyed murdering all manner of weeds with her vengeful weed whacker and multitude of poisons.
Post yard work, a bitch settled on the couch and ate more Excedrin. Something told me to click on CNN to see what the fuck was what and…gasp…something was afoot in New York!
Tony I’m confused over easily understood shit, excited about predictable and boring shit and alarmed over completely un-alarming shit Harris was breaking some breaking news…hard. An apparent plot to attack JFK was foiled…and the story was leaking out slow as cold honey…but that didn’t stop Tony Harris from jumping on my journalistic nerves and doing a bloody jig.
Who the hell is this man?
Why does he sound like a morning radio person?
Hold up and allow me to back up.
Tony Harris has been working this bitch’s nerves since he took over the 8 o’clock weekday slot. A bitch used to watch CNN whilst fluffing my afro ‘bout that time…but then came Harris with his overacting child star exuberant vocalizations followed by some of the dumbest questions ever asked by a grown man on television.
Shit.
Harris made CNN even more unwatchable.
Ugh!
Fastforward to Saturday and there he was breaking the JFK terror plot story. He did the new CNN FOX in drag thang…forgetting to use words like alleged, neglecting to point out fact from speculation and then going on several “these people” absolute statement rants for spice.
But when he actually paused…Lawd, give me strength…to say that he needed to be mindful of Journalism 101…mercy…and then inserted the word alleged into a sentence regarding the charges as if accuracy were a motherfucking joke and Journalism 101 was the punch line…ugh…well that’s when this bitch had go.
Murrow he aint (shudder).
On a different CNN-based note, Wolfie B. moderated the sorta-debate amongst Democrats yesterday!
Blink.
The set change mid debate was…well, interesting. But this bitch isn’t fond of sound-bites lacking in substance and the format didn't allow for a lot of substance to get through.
Oh, and all those raise your hand if you blah, blah followed by blah nonsense was bizarre.
Wolfie B, you need to call a bitch and run dumb assed shit like that by me before going on air!
A bitch suspects multiple meetings over set contingencies and camera angles left too little time for question-based review.
Wince.
At least the hand raising bullshit gave the candidates something to agree on…
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