Thursday, September 09, 2010

On blackness...

It’s been a while since I went the hell off…but it was only a matter of time before someone said something in my comments to inspire a good purge-based rant.

This comment did the trick!

blk bitch 2 said...
I don't mean any disrespect but are you really black? Reading a few of your blogs I got confused and even cringed a few times. I don't mean to offend but I am a black woman and to me you seem to sound like your puttin' on. You know what puttin' on means don't you? Maybe this is some inside joke that you and your viewers share, I don't know. Sarcasim, especially about black women, is lost on me. This is my first time visiting. Definitely my last.(Lawd?.... Really?)

Where to start?

On not meaning to disrespect, I call bullshit!  Why the hell do people add that shit to comments that are clearly meant to be disrespectful?  I don’t get it.  When I want to disrespect a person I just jump right on in and do it.  But there’s a trend out there in the land of comments that seems to be built on the belief that bullshitting about not wanting to disrespect someone is more acceptable than full out disrespecting them.  But damn it all if that “I don’t mean any disrespect…” lead in isn’t always followed by a huge serving of disrespect. 

I’ve got more respect for assholes who just let their assholia hang out there. 

I’m just saying.

I’ve noticed that some people question my realness because they are uncertain of my voice. 

What does she sound like…why aren’t there pictures of her doing all manner of shit up on the blog…why does she cuss so much...why does she deliberately misspell certain words…why would a black woman call herself an angry black bitch?

Lots of y’all know what I sound like.  Some of you know me personally.  I’ve been on NPR a few times and damn it all if some folks aren’t thrown by the reality of how I sound (my cousin calls it my county black girl with a touch of valley girl voice).   

Yes, some black people talk “like that".

Yes, this black woman writes “like this”.

Some folks question what they cannot see.

I don’t post pictures of myself out and about because I don’t take pictures of myself out and about…but anyone with a fucking computer can Google my ass and see a picture – hell, my picture is up on Feministing and RH Reality Check – and…gasp…I’m black, black, black, black, BLACK!

I write like I talk…though I speak this shit in my county black girl with a touch of valley girl sounding voice.  I cuss because I like the spice – so cringe or go away…hell, drop to the ground and pray if you want to…but do not confuse your dislike of my blog with my somehow not being black.

I can’t stand Tyler Perry…but I’d be the last person to accuse his ass of not being a black man.

But other folks question my blackness because they don’t like my kind of blackness.

Those are the people who take exception to my blog with a lame ass passive aggressive “I don’t mean to disrespect…but here’s my disrespectful as hell comment from a non-existent Blogger account wrapped up in a ‘and I won’t be coming back, neither’ stealth piss in your Corn Flakes” huff-based comment.

Yeah…and that’s exactly the kind of person who needs a good cringe.


And you know what really pisses me off about that shit - I didn’t even think to question whether blk bitch 2 is black.

Ain’t that some shit?

Ooops, I said "ain’t" – someone is gonna cut up my Black Card!

***rolls eyes and then wonders if that'll be interpreted as more "puttin on"***

Fuck it.

Comments like that aren’t about a real question…they are about a narrow definition of what black is, what a black woman thinks, worries about, sounds like, acts like, supports and how we present ourselves. 

And black women who are strict constructionists of the Code of Correct Blackness cringe when someone steps outside that box…they lash out when someone resists conforming to their boring ass rules…and ultimately they disrespect the hell out of people in an attempt to regulate the behavior of others.

I get that.

I think it is sad as hell, but I get it.


Yes, really.


libhom said...

I found out about your blog because a coworker heard you on NPR a while back. Your commenter sounds a bit out of touch.

The Roving Reporter said...

That...was AWESOME! If she comes back and post some ridiculous comment again, you should go off on her ass.

Anonymous said...

You may not express yourself in "standard form," but who cares? It's your voice, your blog, and none of her damn business. I, for one, enjoy reading your ideas and the way you express them, so keep it up!

Judy Jeute said...

Wow! And I thought I was the village idiot-ha! I got replaced very quickly, and not through ignorance, what a shame.

Peterr said...

But how do you really feel, Shark-fu?


The "if you don't fit my vision of reality, you must be a fraud" mentality is a wonder to behold, isn't it?

Tina Cooney said...

Well said! I cannot believe the idiocy of ignorant people these days. Not really black? This judgmental comment begs me to wonder: Is anyone "really" black these days? Everyone is putting on a show to "prove" how "black" they are. The truth is being a black snob or a white snob is a superficial act to make yourself feel special. These snobs show their self-delusional insecurity whenever they try to pigeon-hole someone.

I like to see a person cut through the crap and show me the real you. I see the Shark-Fu, no matter what race you are on this blog, and it's refreshing! I also love your newly coined term "assholia" I'm still laughing at your rant. Thanks for letting us get to know the authentic angryblackbitch!!

Tina Cooney - tweet @yoniyama

Rileysdtr said...

But Little Sister.... you like hockey! You can't be black!

(whoops of laughter)

Brian said...

I love it. :)

You should rant more often.

QueenBee said...

You know last month when you posted, "Pondering the outbreak of people making absolute statements about black people…" I thought, good post, but hell, black people think we're monolithic too. And these comments by blk bitch2 prove it. All my life, my realness/blackness has been questioned because I am not "down" with certain actions or thought processes.

I love the line, "but do not confuse your dislike of my blog with my somehow not being black." You might not like what I do or how I do it, but it does NOT take away from who I am...

I love your blog and look forward to reading it daily. Keep up the good work!

Jonzee said...

Let the church say...amen!

BreukelensFinest said...

i love how people still think there is a standard of blackness and that there is one specific mold for what it means to be black. its a shame that she has decided not to keep following because I'm sure if she did she would have her infantile notions of race checked

smfuckinh. keep duin wut u do.

Leslie said...

I think I am forever in love with this blog now


A black woman that does not sound like a black woman AT ALL...

Anonymous said...


Would you mind telling us exactly HOW a black woman sounds?

IMO, your comment is not that different from blackbitch2's comment.

- Curious black woman

Jo Moore said...

I guess it's never too late to sat thank you.

Your honesty about your hockey jones has allowed me to finally kick open my closet door and loudly proclaim "I'M A BLACK WOMAN WHO LOVES HOCKEY!"

We ain't on the same side of the ice...because I'm a Blackhawks fan...But lawdy, lawdy...we at last....thank gawd a at last...."

btw....blkbitch2 can kiss the butterscotch off my ass, too....

Anonymous said...

G'on wit yo black se'f!

I not only don't like Tyler Perry, I'm kinda meh, about Beyonce too. And many other things that would otherwise 'peg' me as black. Having grown up in upper middle class Silicon Valley as the only black kid in my class before High School, yeah. Believe it or not folks, all blacks do not have the same experience. Regardless of what you may think. I have been known to watch a little San Jose Sharks hockey myself! Need to get to the 'tank' this sesason!

So, Blkbitch2. You can suck it.
Leave Angry Black Bitch alone!!!

(Man there are a lot of us out there, huh??)

Mark L said...

I am a white dude, but as a crippled-fag I have lots of black friends of all kinds. And let me say this. I hate anyone, regardless of color, who adheres to a stereotype. I have no patience for whiny cripples or effeminate, flouncy, disco-loving gays who insist everyone else in the community needs to be like them.

Moreover, Black people can do anything they want to do- there have been black doctors, black opera singers, black scientists and even a damn-well black President! Of course, they'll probably have to work twice as hard to get there, but that's a different kettle of fish. I make it my mission to crack open all stereotypes and I respect others who do the same. My fave professor in undergrad was an intelligent-as-hell black woman who had strong, correct diction, wore fabulous outfits, was fluent in Arabic, and married to an Italian.

So stick it to em Pam. If I may be so bold.. You Go Girl! Be yourself Shark-fu. We will always love you for who you are, not WHAT you are. I always say I am a man who is gay, not a gay man; my gayness is secondary to my personality and can be defined any damn well way I choose to define it, it's not my entire personality at ALL.

P.S. I miss Soul Food cooked by my black woman friends!! I cannot get any good soul food in this town... too full of honkies wanting to be all "healthy" and shit. I mean, I care about my health as much as the next person, but a meal of fried food every once in a while ain't gonna kill a bitch, ya feel me? LOL.

Shark-Fu said...

Hey Mark - where do you live? I may have a suggestion or 2. Also, I've found some healthy soul food recipes...they still taste good as long as I don't concentrate on the fact that they are healthy (wink).

Anonymous said...

I get ever more tired of the weasel-words folks use when they want to say something vile but don't want to be held responsible for what they say. "Don't mean any disrespect" my fat cracker ass.

Friðvin said...

oh you gave me a good smile today!

Especially the part about having your Black Card cut up.

I like the way you write because it's not unlike how I think when I'm just speaking in my head. (Or after a few drinks...out loud.)

Anonymous said...

oh well ..
I'm a black woman, who thinks beyonce is a marketing genius and a damn good entertainer, loves rap music, doesn't care for hockey at all, is a cyclist, loves soul food, is a geek by trade and soul + supports your right to enjoy hockey :)

but simply can't stand some of the comments here which seem to thumb their nostrils at what some black people are stereotypically aligned with... whilst complaining about being stereotyped.

It seems many of us buy into the exact same stereotypes which are being peddled by blackbitch2.

Beyonce would not be the international super star she is, if wasn't embraced by a lot of white people.. how does liking beyonce peg anyone as 'black'... what nonsense.

Geez, even angry black bitch didn't start denouncing any 'attributes' of blackness in order to elevate herself or her interests.

We are not as unique as we think, not liking beyonce doesn't add a notch to your 'I'm not stereotypically black'

I wish to God, some of us black folk would stop doing this....

Delux said...

Hmph. I keep questioning the blackness of this hockey shit myself. But do I get a whole post? No.


Shark-Fu said...

Just you wait, Ms. Delux! Once the season starts back up I'm gonna tackle that mess.

I keep telling you - hockey is for EVERYONE!!

Delux said...

Lawd-a-mercy I done made you mad!

*channels Florence from The Jeffersons*

CeCe said...

I'm so sick of people judging how other people should be. Thanks for highlighting this and making a fuss about it!

How can black people be as misinformed as other races that we come in different shades, opinions, and vocabularies!!!

Tezcatlipoca said...

Great Rant! Haven't gone off myself since my doc put me on bp meds. I cracked up at myself last week when I listened to the NPR link. Your voice was a bit different in pitch than what I had as a preconception. *gives self an NCIS Jethro head bop*

The puck gets dropped soon. Go Wings! ;p

Anonymous said...

I'm a black man from Compton who went to boarding school for high school then on to a small liberal arts college here in CA. I've battled this for years. I don't speak "black" and don't "think" black from what I've been told. The running joke has been that even though I'm from Compton my "Ghetto Card" is strictly honorary.

Just as black people come in a range of shades, so do our personalities, our likes, dislikes, manners of speech and interests. Other black people who attempt to pigeonhole us are as guilty as white people are shocked to meet "an articulate" black person.

Do you, as I'm sure you will continue to do, and let them do them. Least that's how I roll. . ..

Mark said...

Hi Shark-fu! I live in Madison, Wisconsin. If you have some tips for me, that'd be great.. I really need to score some soul food! Apparently we had some very good soulfood restaurants here a few years ago, but they all closed.. I am hunting for some though. Haha

dinthebeast said...

When the subject at hand fails to fit my view, I always seem to have better luck trying to expand my view than trying to narrow the subject...
Just sayin'...

-Doug in Oakland

SL Meyer said...

Dear Beautiful and Eloquent ABB,

Thank You for what you write, the way you write. You write YOU. And that's all that matters.

Shark-Fu said...

Thanks to everyone for comments and for this discussion!

Shark-Fu said...


I haven't eaten at these spots...but have you tried Doug's Soul Food Cafe?

I love Madison - Sister C-Money was born there!

Anonymous said...

Damn it felt good reading that righteous rant in response to the knucklehead who actually questioned your blackness (you know that is seriously weird).

So from one sistah who will never be put in a "how you s'pose to sound" box to another:


SouthlandDiva said...

Not black? Did she not SEE the pics C-Money posted on this very site when she blogged about y'all going to the Bon Jovi concert?(Saw him back in the day, early 90's, in here in Mississippi no less!)

To think, just when the universe provides her an opportunity to expand her perceptions, she resolutely slams the door!


Museling said...

This white girl tips her stick straight hair to your afro. You go, girl.

Jeffrey Ricker said...

I do love it when A Bitch leaves teeth marks. A fluff of my buzz cut for your rant.

Jaelithe said...

I am here to testify: I have seen the Angry Bitch, and she is truly black. Also, really a woman.

(However, I regret to reveal that she is not, in fact, a bitch, at least, not in the derogatory sense of the term. Maybe in the Tina Fey "Bitches get shit done" sense, though. And she's not even angry all the time. She's really pleasant in person, actually. Sorry if I've ruined anyone's illusions, there.)

EAMD said...

Well, I don't mean any disrespect, but are you really angry, and are you also really a bitch? Reading a few of your blogs, we don't always have the exact same opinion on everything. I don't mean to offend, but I am angry and a bitch, and I don't know how it can be possible that you are also angry and a bitch when my way of being angry and bitchy is the only way real angry bitches act (assholia?...really?).

Anonymous said...

I love what you write because it is you and wonderfully you, that is all, keep up the bitchitude!


Anonymous said...

I hadn't even noticed there was no pic until the lady said something. I then googled you and found an interview you gave with Weber Shandwick. You sound and look like my old colleague (google Billie Johnson at the University of Cincinnati.) I know it's said that all blacks look alike... No the hell we don't, but you two do. I'm impressed that you even bothered to respond. Those old black stereotypes still rearing their ugly ass heads! "How's is I'se spozed to sound ma'am?" You get much respect from me because, in addition to being a black feminist, outspoken and well reasoned, you can't stand Tyler Perry's misogynistic ass!( That is a post in and of itself!) Kudos sistuh.

Kristin said...

Thank God for you and your words. I wish I could express myself the way you do when faced with assholias in person, but instead my brain is on overload just trying to keep my arms at my sides to resist from swinging.

I can't always read your blog in real time because my life is on ten, but I have days when I can slow down, and I tune in to regain my sanity as you offer clarity in a pool of mud, mental refuge in a world gone mad.

Rock on, fight on, and keep on fluffing your afro! Those who don't get you, chose to remain asleep.

Peace to you and ALL that you do!

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