Friday, August 05, 2005

Assume the position...!

A bitch is not feeling very well today. It appears to be a cross between Ebola and allergies. Suffice it to say, this bitch feels like shit!

The only reason my ass doesn’t feel like total and complete shit is…well...the Novak incident.

Joy, bliss, extreme schadenfreude and the introduction of ABB’s new dream-based submissive!
My eyes have seen the glory of the Prince of Darkness imploding on CNN! Not only did the POD cuss on live television (not a huge failure, since no one watches Inside Politics…and he only said bullshit), not only did he storm off the set like a spoiled schoolboy (honey, you can’t let the Ragin’ Cajun get to you like that) but the whole fight was over none other than…Katherine “damn, that baby’s ugly” Harris!

Say it together now…fantabulous!

Chil’ren, my ass was riding a wave of extreme shadenfreude!

Obviously, a bitch chose the POD to answer to the rod of correction in my dreams last night!

ABB…wet black leather, 4-inch heels with steel points and my wicked bamboo rod of political correction.

POD…bare-assed naked and prostrate at my feet.

“Who’s been a bad, bad boy?” I ask, cutting the rod through the air.

“Me, Mistress! I’ve been naughty! I leaked the name of a covert operative as revenge for that bastard Wilson telling the truth and I used filthy language on live television.” Novak the POD confesses in a harsh whisper.

“Oh, that’s just the recent shit. You are such an asshole! My ass isn’t even sure if you are worthy of correction, you pathetic has-been sell-out Opus Dei little shit!” I ponder, slapping the rod into the palm of my hand.

“No Mistress! No, I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy, but please bless me with correction so that I may change my wicked ways!” Novak the POD shudders and silently prays that his dream-based Mistress does not spare him the rod.

“Fine. 20 lashes. Assume the position.”

This bitch woke up with a smile on my face…but damn those heels make a bitch’s ankle hurt.

What a wonderful way to start the day…riding a wave of shadenfreudal S&M!


sparkle shortz said...

OK, seriously, is Opus Dei behind some modern day Da Vinci Code shit? FBI spy Robert Philip Hansen was Opus Dei too., found ya thru ayodele

CrankyProf said...

Well, I'm glad A Bitch had fun last night -- I was HOPING you'd find a substitute for Little Ricky. I gave his ass a wearing-OUT last night.

I may give him the night off, given that his polls are DISMAL, and that's punishment enough.

Tiger Lilly said...

I saw that recapped on the Daily Show. That was the funniest thing. He got pissed over nothing, took his toys and went home.

BarefootCajun said...

Yeah, but if he's Opus Dei doesn't that defeat the purpose of the beating because he likes it too much?

This Guy said...

I'm just happy someone else in St. Louis knows about Opus Dei...other than those who mispronounce it after reading DaVinci Code.

BaltimoreLenore said...


I hope you get to go medieval on his ass more often.