A bitch rushed home last night to get a jump on the big supreme announcement. My ass had just finished feeding the hounds when CBS, CNN, ABC and NBC broke into regularly scheduled programming to report yet another White House leak!
You got that right, the motherfuckers are now leaking without shame! They blatantly leaked the name of Scooter’s Supreme Court nominee before the big press conference! DRAMA!
A bitch was startled but quickly recovered, grabbed my notebook and took some notes.
John Roberts, Jr.
Harvard undergrad and Harvard Law with honors and whatnot.
Considered a 100%er – meaning he’s one of the boys in the conservative boys club.
Difficult to define because of a limited official record.
50 years young, so could serve for decades.
His law firm worked on the infamous 2000 recount for Scooter.
Signed a brief bitching that Roe was wrong.
A bitch needed a drink!
2 cubes ice, 3 shots vodka followed by cran.
A cig was lit and my ass drank the first of what would be many vodka crans...fast.
Seems that John Boy is a legacy nomination. Scooter wants America to feel the pain for years and years to come.
But why the advanced leak? Why spill the beans hours before the press conference?
All was revealed when Scooter and John Boy approached the podium.
Was Scooter sauced?
Okay, a bitch can’t confirm that Scooter was full of the elixir of the gods. However, a certain tyrant’s language was a wee bit slurred…if you get my meaning…very slurred and more fumbled than the average Scooter fumbling debacle of a press conference. Maybe he bit his tongue the last time he flung himself over the handle bars of his bike?
Scooter launched into a rambling introduction of John Boy and this bitch was amazed by his inability to get through what amounted to 5 minutes of communicating with the public.
Pull your shit together, son! Jesus to heaven and back again...speak damn you!
"Blah, blah, blah…John is a good man…blah, blah…won’t legislate from the bench…blah, blah, blah…put himself through school...blah, blah, belch, blah."
“I’m placing in human hands the authority and majesty of the law!”
Majesty? Did he just say majesty? Majestic my black ass! Keep it real, honey. This isn’t about “strict interpretation”. This is about your interpretation and your ability to insure your interpretation for decades.
“John will faithfully apply the constitution!” or something to that affect…
John will tow the party line...hard…and to the right.
“John has a profound respect for the rule of law!”
John is in my fucking pocket. I’ve seen his work…how do you think my ass won that first court battle...err, umm...election?
Scooter to American “How do you like me now, bitches?!?”
A bitch is torn. I’ve got to give it to Scooter for nominating a minority to the court (white, male, straight, rich and overeducated). But we are once again fucked.
And this fucking will go on for years.
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