Monday, February 21, 2005


I've been on Weight Watchers for four weeks and have been shedding pounds pretty successfully. I like the program because it allows me to eat a piece of fried chicken every now and then and I can save up points for a future event or holiday. I picked Weight Watchers because life isn't worth living without a french fry or chicken wing once in a while. Friends pitched me South Beach and Atkins, but I'm a Sistah and there is no way I'm living on vinaigrette and spinach or bacon for the rest of my life. And I am not going to gain and loose and gain again - this Angry Black Bitch can't afford to buy a new set of clothes every year.

For the last two weeks I've been saving points so I can eat something extra special yummy for my birthday tomorrow. I'm not terribly hungry on the diet, but I am nostalgic. Now, faced with trying to decide where to eat and what to indulge in I'm at a loss. What do I miss the most? Cheese cake or brownies? Fried chicken or smothered pork chops? This point based birthday indulgence has grown into a huge decision! What if I order some mac & cheese and it sucks?!? This has to be great, right? This has to be the meal of the century!!

And now comes an irrational anger at people who like spinach and turkey burgers. I hate them for not having to sacrifice anything because, by a simple quirk of fate, they like the "good" stuff. I resent KFC for ever making Extra Tasty Crispy chicken. And I really hate those people featured on the Weight Watchers web site who feel "great" and "actually enjoy non-fat Ranch dressing". Screw them. I miss eating trash and I miss the act of eating trash. Nothing compares to pulling up to the drive through window with NPR on the radio and rolling down the window - "I'll take a #1 with a pepper and an orange soda!". Ahhhh. Can you feel the joy?

Tomorrow I'm going to eat some soul food for lunch. Then I'll put a star on the calendar for the next food holiday, which should be Easter. While others go the church I will worship at the stove. Let's just hope they don't fuck up my birthday lunch or I might riot. Just imagine.....Angry Black Bitch holds soul food chef hostage - demands perfect collard greens on penalty of death!


This Guy said...

Happy Birthday Angry Black Bitch!

FYI- Panera has a cheesecake brownie dessert. Worth checking out.

Crystal-Lynn said...

I'm Point-Less ... so I've eaten cake-like stuff for the last three meals!

Not proud of it. Maybe it's a subconscious reaction to living with an Angry Black Bitch calmly NOT eating cake. I'm shoving in carbs because eventually I'll have to catch up to her shrinking ass. I can't have her frightfully thin while I'm zaftig. Damn.

Royalton rocks ... cute little staff bringing me gourmet cookies and milk at midnight.

Here's Crystal's points: Diet < 5 cookies per day. I should write a cookie-points book ...

Chelsea's Mama said...

Well it's no wonder you're a bitch. Treat yourself to what you want!