Tuesday, February 15, 2005


This morning I engaged in my new ritual of trying to avoid the Today Show with little success. To clarify, it's really Katie that I can't stand anymore. Her voice, her constant star-fucking, her attempts to seem earnest by wearing glasses - I'm over all of it. But it really is hard to avoid her - I can't get beyond the whole Diane Sawyer/Nixon connection and CNN is still dabbling in that whole "let's get two pundits to yell at each other for 30 minutes" thang. FOX is out of the question - I finally trained my TiVo (otherwise known as The Precious) to resist the urge to record Channel 2. And let's face it, CBS is like torture.

So, between channel hopping I am exposed to the "Katie Experience". Today, it dawned on me that Katie has gotten away with a rather radical transformation. Why come she gets to metamorphasize like Michael Jackson and not be held accountable? Evidence of transformation - Katie has gone from a brunette to a honey blond with unfortunate frosting (I have insider confirmation that she does it to herself in a ritual that is much like cutting). Her lips have gone from non-existent to bow-shaped with a fleshy fullness about the top and sides. Also, any evidence of the aging process has been removed from the surface of her skin along with normal expressions or the ability to blink fully. Is it me, or would a side by side comparison of Katie 1998 and Katie 2005 be just as freaky as the Michael Jackson evolution?

Now, I don't like Katie C. for a lot of reasons. Recently she has engaged in this sad exploration of teen sex that makes her come off like the only virgin to emerge from the 1970's. She goes on and on about the impact of music and media on young girls self esteem and sexual identity. But what does the image of Katie C. tell our young people? Is the on-air battle between her skin and the ramifications of 20 years most likely spent tanning with oil sending a positive message to young women about aging or self esteem?

I think not. Rather, she is a sad representation of our new American physical image - freakishly tight, plump and over exfoliated. And she wonders why generation Y wants boob jobs for their graduation present. Katie, I know you see the connected between media and self esteem, but why can't you see the connection between your overblown emotionally desperate coverage of Ben & Jen and young women feeling lost without a man?

Wanna know why young girls will sell their souls for the fleeting rewards of vanity Katie? It's time to look at the anchor in the mirror. Make that change.......


Crystal-Lynn said...

Um, too fucking true. Love the line about "the anchor in the mirror." Have you tried watching cartoons in the morning, Fu?


Necksher said...

Damn girl, you ARE one AngryBlackBitch... but you got a point! I, too, thought the play on song title was quite smart. Stali, do something with your site, damnit! And for anyone looking for a bit lighter sentiment, come see my website!!!! www.mgscuba.com
kisses, Necksher!

This Guy said...

Don't you ever stop being angry! You're my new favorite bookmark.

princessdominique said...

Most people aren't as observant as you. Katie is definitely a Diane Sawyer wannabe and her metamophasis WAS scary.