Thursday, February 24, 2005


How would Jesus Drive? He wouldn't. Duh!

I was just virtually run off the road by a neo-con in a mini van with ten - that's right -10 freakin "Vote Life/God" and "It's a Child not a Choice" bumper stickers on the back of her wide assed car. This proud member of the faithfull road my ass like (insert your own visual) down Kingshighway. I merged and the she-bitch got behind me again! Maybe her car was horny?

Anyway, she finally made St. Louis driving move #350, which is to speed up along side me then stare at me then swerve in front of me almost causing a massive five car pill-up when she slammed on her sanctified brakes and (Praise be to God!) got in front of my speed limit driving ass!

Now, is that how Jesus would drive? I wouldn't even know that she was a neo-con fascist-radical-genuflecting-false-saint-worshipping Catholic but for the ass of her car! Since this is the third time I've been run down (no, I don't have Kerry 2004 stickers on my car since I don't believe in bumper stickers) I'm just gonna assume that this is how the faithfull want to advertise. It's a life - as long as it's not in front of you on the way to mass!

Proposed AngryBlackBitch bumper stickers.....

Vote Death! Satan.
It's a money pit, not a child.
Got Jesus? Then Drive Like It, Bitch!


Crystal-Lynn said...

You really must work on your anti-Catholic bigotry ... some of my best friends are Catholic. Perhaps you should turn the other cheek when the Pharisees try to run you over. Pray on it. Forgive the wide-ass bitch. Forgiveness is divine. Take one step toward Jesus and you won't have to ask H.W.J.D. He'd yield.

This Guy said...

Sweetie, I think your anti-Catholicism is just fine as it is... there is no need for anyone to light candles for you.

I just came back from spending the day working in St. Charles, so I am totally with you on the dumbass neo-con drivers. Apparently, their god has also given them free reign to ignore the laws of the road and just make illegal u-turns any time their sanctified asses want to.

Poppymom said...

I would totally buy that last one.

Jeff said...

Personally, I would work on my anti-Catholic bigotry with a baseball bat and a nun, but your mileage may vary (and I would only choose a nun because I can't afford to fly to Rome and have batting practice with the Pope). As for Jesus, he'd walk -- or take the bus.

Love, love, love your blog.

justjudith said...

you are so on it with these mini van wielding fetus saving stl drivers! they always have these bumper stickers that make the situation a million times worse. or those cell phone drivers that can't use signals because they're driving 80 and yapping on the phone. damn that, i'm angry too. and i'm thinking jesus would be with us on that.
ps love the blog!