Thursday, October 22, 2009

Pondering the formula...

A bitch is pretty damned good at avoiding entertainment that is going to insult the hell out of me and make my ‘fro hurt.

I have high blood pressure and, even though ‘tis under control, I try to limit the number of times per day I’m exposed to shit that works my last nerve.

Anyhoo, the other day Brother Rob sent me an email to alert me to Pat Buchanan’s latest public display of rancidity. Having already accidentally exposed myself to a freakish dismissal of slavery aired on 105.7 The Point’s morning show (using some listener story about a black child who dressed as a “happy slave” for Halloween…so see, some black people have a sense of humor about it why can’t you?) ...Lawd, have mercy... I knew it wouldn’t be wise to test my pressure for at least 24 hours.

Shit, all I wanted was a little Rage Against the Machine to jump start my morning…but I should have know better than to stay on that radio station once the on-air talent came on. The second they started talking, a bitch detected the distinct accent of an ig’nant asshole following the offensive formula radio stations have determined to appeal to straight white men between the ages of 14 and 24.

permission to be ig'nant/bigotted/vile + rock music = listeners

A bitch used to sell radio, so I get that shit.

What I don’t get is why MSNBC is applying that same formula (minus the rock music) to their political programming.

The cable networks seem to be in a race to see who can claim to have the most rancid conservative commentator…

…and MSNBC just took the lead with Pat Buchanan.

Hell, Buchanan has been an ig’nant racist misogynist longer than Glenn Beck has been alive!

He’s so rancid...

And the chil'ren asked "How rancid is he?!?"

... he's so rancid, he makes CNN’s insistence on paying Bill I like to ponder the benefits of killing all black babies Bennett look weak as a motherfucker.

And no one’s even talking about Bill O’Reilly or that dude on CNN who is scared damn near to death of Latinos.

I just don’t get it.

When I sold radio one thing was clear…straight white men between the ages of 14 and 24 are loyal as hell listeners and they have little to no spending power.

Oh, there are bitnesses that need to target them, but not as many as need to target women between the ages of 25 and 54. Thus, despite the huge ratings and impressive loyalty, we often ended up selling stations like 105.7 The Point at a discount.

Now, that might work with a radio station that’s part of a bundle due to the massive consolidation of ownership…but I’m pretty sure television networks need to keep their appeal broad so they can make the case to advertisers that they (the network) deliver lots and lots of viewers.

But Pat Buchanan doesn’t appeal to normal people. Have you seen him? Ain’t no way in hell he’s pulling in women between the ages of 25-54!

Maybe he’s there to appeal to some segment some consultant said MSNBC just had to start appealing to.

Mayhap those “traditional Americans” Buchanan claims are losing “their” country?

But a bitch has news for MSNBC.

There’s another formula that y’all need to keep in mind.

If the percent rancidity of Buchanan (R/B) exceeds the percent of liberal fantabulousness of Rachel Maddow (LFoRM), television sets tuned in to MSNBC will begin to pump out the stank of bullshit.

% RB > LFoRM = BS

And this non-traditional angry black bitch between the ages of 25 and 54 doesn't tolerate stank...


Anonymous said...

The crime rate would go down?! Last time I looked, some of the worst crimes are committed by white males e.g. serial killers, school shootings et al. My god, every day I think they can't say anything worse and then they top themselves...

Shark-fu said...

I suspect he was reading Freak-o-nomics at the time and, like many a bigot who got their hands on that book, got all excited at the idea of having data to back up hate.

catnmus said...

But Rachel Maddow says she likes debating Pat Buchanan, because Pat actually debates, rather than engaging in personal attacks and simply shouting down those that disagree. I'd much rather see that on TV than any of those other shouters. Of course that still won't make me watch it, even if I am in that desired demographic.

Rileysdtr said...

Ah, there is a difference between quantity and quality. Disenfranchised (e.g., pissed off) white dudes seem to be the overwhelming majority of serial killers, but - although horrific - those are small blips within an overall statistical analysis of crime. It's like saying the crime rate would decrease if we locked up post-partum psychosis mothers so they didn't kill their infants. True but not exactly germane.

In furtherance to Pat's logic, if we REALLY wanted to decrease crime we'd simply lock up all men, regardless of color, as *statistically* they commit the overwhelming majority of crime.

(Pat? Welcome. Please meet your new cellie, Rollo the Mad Dog Rapist....)

Redneck Liberal said...

I don't think anyone comes out on top when people start yammering about whose worst (or best depending on yr POV) at crime.

For low-level property crime and assaults, it's yer po' folks of all skin colors. For yer financial crimes, it's rich folks of all skin colors.

The only constructive question is why the latter class contains a bigger proportion of white folks and the former black folks.

Shark-fu said...

catnmus said...
I've heard her say that.

I suspect that she has fallen for the joy of the debate (happens to a lot of intellectuals) and forgets that Buchanan takes those same notions out and about to influence policy makers and voters.

Thus, she is debating and he's merely refining the message...

Anonymous said...

I have only seen Pat B only once when he was actually sane and that was in the film about Ralph Nader called and Inconvenient Man. I think that was the name. Otherwise, he like all the others just seem bizarre to me. My brow is furrowed because I look at them and keep trying to figure out what they are doing, and why they think they are helping to move things along. We stay marching in place because of all of these people who are part of the problem and insist on having the same conversations over and over again. Maybe it is because there is no real strategy put in place to talk about and work together to solve problems. Maybe we need to list the problems the nation faces and sit down and speak honestly without all the narcissism, anxiety and fear. We need facilitators who can help keep the destruction on track. Or maybe all of this works just fine for most people because then they don't really have to do much of anything or get involved. They can just listen to the hate on the radio or tv, agree with it and continue with their day. No muss, no fuss.

Dusty said...

Woo Hoo Shark Fu!!!

Gawd I love you, yes I do. You can put it down in writing like no one else woman. ;)

I have, for quite awhile now, changed the channel when Patty boy comes on. I warned MSNBC, via email to the head cheese, numerous times that I would do that if they kept putting that fuckwit on to wax dumbass bout shit he has no knowledge of.

So the head cheese was warned..and ignored my warning. tsk..tsk.. ;p

Valkyrie607 said...

Three cheers for Rileysdtr for the Bloom County reference!

Resveratrol said...

I have, for quite awhile now, changed the channel when Patty boy comes on. I warned MSNBC, via email to the head cheese, numerous times that I would do that if they kept putting that fuckwit on to wax dumbass bout shit he has no knowledge of.

N. Roe said...

Ugh, the on-air at KPNT is vile, ESPECIALLY the morning show. I've started playing a little game on my morning commute whenever I am flipping stations and land there..."how many seconds will it take before I hear something racist or sexist or just generally asstastic?" I think 2 minutes is the length record so far.

Thank heaven for Sevendust on iPod!