$160 a month…

Longtime readers know that my older brother Bill is autistic.  My sister and I are co-guardians.  We’ve had that role for years now…and every year has provided raw lessons in the difference between how people talk about social services and how people experience them.  Now that the GOP controlled US House has announced plans to cut food assistance funding, I’m compelled to share a bit of the lessons I’ve learned.

A confession first – I’m more than a bit emotional about this shit.  I adore my brother.  I want the best for him.  I struggle daily with feelings of inadequacy and fear for his long-term wellbeing. So, when Republicans threaten to gut a program that barely meets his needs I feel it…deeply…to the bone.  And I’m having a hard time dealing with callous disregard from a nation my father served in the military and that my parents fought to improve as civil rights activists.  

But I’m a co-guardian…this is about my brother’s life…and I don’t get to dwell on my disgust. 

All I get to do in this situation is fight.

Having said that…

People on food assistance are people…seniors, the unemployed, the under-employed, disabled people.

If you are an American then someone you know has or is receiving food assistance.

If you have someone in your life with a developmental disability then you have someone in your life that will likely need a social service once they are an adult.  Tisn’t a matter of if…tis all about when and for how long.

My brother is disabled.

He used to work…but then Missouri Governor Matt Blunt declared war on the poor and passed policy changes while cutting 150,000 people off of Medicaid.  Those policy changes meant that people like my brother who were on Medicaid but also worked would lose coverage if they made over a certain amount in income.

My brother made less than $80 a month working in the kitchen of a fast food restaurant. He loved it…used to wake up at 4am to put on his uniform even though he didn’t start work until noon.  But he had to quit…because in Matt Blunt’s Missouri, adults with autism who make $80 a month and also seek Medicaid coverage are freeloaders addicted to the government’s tit.

It took us 5 years to find a day program to sorta-replace the job my brother loved so much he woke up before dawn to get ready for.  The same “reforms” that cut Medicaid and forced thousands to quit working for fear of losing health care coverage also slashed funding for other social services that provide day programs or volunteer support.

That brings me to the food assistance situation.

A single adult like my brother gets $160 per month in food assistance.  My brother is 42 years old and he has all the nutrition needs of a 42-year-old man.  My father died of a heart attack at the age of 58…we’re working our asses off to make sure my brother doesn’t follow that family tradition.  Bill also has type 2 diabetes that is controlled through diet.  

Suffice it to say, $160 per month doesn’t meet his needs.

We haven’t seen an increase in food assistance funds since I became a co-guardian.

Now the Republican controlled House, under the “leadership” of Congressman Ryan, is seeking to cut federal food assistance funding.

My brother currently gets $160 a month in food assistance.

My brother’s birthday was the 5^th of July.

$160 a month for 30 days of food.

We found out about the proposed funding cuts right before we made plans for a family dinner at his house.

$160 a month equals $5.33 per day.

I went to the store and spent money I don’t have on ingredients for a meal I know he’ll enjoy.  Eating well is a treat…a rare one for Bill and I know it.  So, I’ll skip a few meals…eat soup or whatever…make it work somehow. 

An 11 percent cut means $142 per month.

We dine at 5:30pm.

$142 per month equals $4.73 per day.

And I really hope he enjoys it.

$4.73 per day for food.

I hope he can’t see the fear in my eyes and doesn’t notice how stressed out I am.

$4.73

I seriously hope people realize that the same political party that politicizes special needs kids is prepared to starve special needs adults to expand defense funding.

Well, I'm my brother’s defense.  The only "funding" I get is unconditional love...and that's fueled many a war.

I don’t get to wallow in fear over what may happen to him if his sisters aren’t there to pick up the slack…about how much food he’ll do without ‘cause a Congressman is trying to make a point or whether he’ll end up on the street ‘cause a Senator is having a bad week or if my brother will die young like his father because we didn’t have to means to give him the things he needs to live long.

All I get to do in this situation?

Fight.

Congress should prepare accordingly.

Baking in the city and pondering politics…

Confession #1 – I was more than a little surprised by the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Affordable Care Act.  As a matter of fact, I spent the entire pre-ruling morning getting myself prepared to witness a festival of anti-health care joy break out ‘mongst those who adore tea.  Now, I’ve got more than a few issues with ACA…’cause enjoying health care without access is like trying to eat soup with your hands tied behind your back.  But I also know that this country is nothing if not inefficient and nasty with it when it comes to reforming shit that needs to be reformed.  We are what we are.

Confession #2 – I hate the heat and it is hot as hell!  Trust that a bitch is bitter…beyond bitter…so bitter that I’d have a fit if I weren’t so damned tired from the fucking heat.

Sigh.

Shall we?

I woke up this morning to a news bit about how Governor Christie of New Jersey is being considered as a possible Vice Presidential candidate for Mitt Romney.  Christie joins Senator Marco Rubio, and [insert conservative white man here] as possible VP candidates.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Team Romney has made it clear…well, hold up…not really.

Team Romney is trying to be very unclear.

They are trying to keep the VP search hushed up so that they can get the most out of the announcement and because they face a HUGE challenge.

I’m serious!

Romney’s people are making a meal with Mitt as the main dish.

Mitt is…well, um…he’s like baked fish.  A rather dry and unseasoned baked fish…probably flounder.

While some of his team is testing sauces like an economic plan or alternative health care plan, the other members are searching for a side dish to compliment bland baked fish. 

Anyone who has ever been to an awards dinner knows that no sauce can hydrate dried out chicken or fish.  But Mitt is what he is…the fish is done and Team Romney is going to be serving likely voters flounder until November.

And anyone who has ever put a meal together by committee in hopes of making it appealing knows that this side dish issue is some drama.  The natural instinct may be to choose a wild and unpredictable dish like Christie…but Governor Christie isn’t easy to make.  On any given day it may be too spicy or power through the digestive system with all the relentless fury of bad sushi.  If people get the runs then they may blame the flounder Mitt Romney and decide that Romney with a side of Christie is not something they want to ever have again, thank you very much. 

Senator Rubio is a more predictable and appealing side dish…but it is also the "it" side dish and conservatives just adore dining on it.  Odds are Rubio will overpower Romney flounder like Palin Fricassee drowned out McCain meatloaf in 2008.

Pause…sip more coffee...consider…continue.

The problem for Team Romney is that {insert conservative white man here] ain’t a good default side dish.  Most of those dudes are just as bland as baked flounder.  They won’t overpower…but bland with a side of bland is not the kind of meal to make the masses line up outside the restaurant voting booth.

Oh well, time will tell what the GOP serves in November.

***logs off with the image of conservatives fighting in the kitchen over how much Emeril Essence to dump on Romney***

Pondering "no urban" and "no Hispanic" dictates...

I’m sitting here working on my second cup of coffee and listening to the news.

In a couple of hours SCOTUS will issue their interpretation of the Affordable Care Act.

I could write about that, but I just don’t have the strength to ponder the demise or survival of a law that has had a positive life-changing impact on so many people I know.  Add to that the fact that I spent serious political activism time working on that shit…well, let’s just say that the last thing this bitch wants to do is think about all that work going down the toilet and having to start from jump again.

The US House is fixin’ to vote along party lines to hold Attorney General Holder in contempt of Congress.

I could write about that…and I probably will, but I think I’ll wait for those assholes to officially shit the bed later today.

What to do…what to do?

Hold up.

I’m gonna write about “no urban (black)” and “no Hispanic” dictates!

Shall we?

Many moons ago, this bitch used to work in advertising.

Specifically, I used to sell ads on radio for a massive…huge…giant national radio group that went through more ownership changes than I care to remember.

I was very good at the job. 

I was also one of the only people of color working at our company.  If you’re a fan of Mad Men you’ve seen how white the office is – trust me when I say that, for an industry charged with marketing products to a diverse nation, advertising has all the diversity of John Hughes film (translation – none).

So, when I first encountered the overt racism of the “no urban” dictate I was flying solo in my criticism.

My client was the #1 station in all key demographics in a top 10 city.  That means white listeners were tuning in too, because black people only made up 30% of the city population at best.  The station’s listeners had a healthy adult income and thus I should have been sitting pretty selling the hell out of it.

And I would have been…but for the power of the no-urban dictate.

I encountered a sea of no urban dictates from brands and products I still struggle to purchase even after a decade of being out of the business.

I’m not talking about not being able to sell the station to an ad agency representing a niche luxury brand.

I’m talking about being told that a restaurant whose most expensive item is $15 sending out a request for bids with “no urban (black) stations need apply” written on it clear as day and without shame.

There I was with the #1 station and no one wanted to dance.

No urban (black) and no Hispanic dictates are not about good advertising.  They are about racist and bigoted advertising…agencies that lack the courage to tell their clients that they are shooting their own foot by dissing the purchase power of minorities simply because those clients see consumers of color as unflattering and undesirable…and consumers of color who generally have no idea that they are shopping in a store that’ll take their money even though they think those consumers are unflattering and undesirable.

The lack of resistance to the overt racism of no urban and no Hispanic dictates is one of the reasons I left advertising.

Now, over a decade later, the FCC has finally acknowledged the problem and begun the process of addressing it.

But the cold hard reality is that Advertising as an industry is where the change needs to come from followed closely by those industries and companies that place ads.

And all you have to do is take a good look at the demographics of the average ad agency or corporate marketing department to see that we’re probably going to see a Triple Crown winner in my lifetime before we see change come from within.

Having said that, I applaud the FCC’s move.  If nothing else it took those dictates out of the closet. 

Shop accordingly, my friends!

***logs off the get this day of political drama started***

Ain't that America, somethin' to see baby…

This is going to be one hell of a constitutional law week, y’all!

Shall we?

Yesterday the Supreme Court struck down most of Arizona’s infamous immigration law in a ruling that clarifies the already clear fact that immigration policy and enforcement is a federal responsibility.

What I find interesting is that the High Court let the most controversial portion of Arizona’s immigration law stand.

Yep, Arizona is now a “show your papers” state.

I wonder if they’ll incorporate that into tourism spots?

Arizona – Come for the sun. Stay for the racial profiling!

Lawd, have mercy.

Anyhoo, folk do need to know that police in Arizona can ask you for proof of citizenship after they stop you for some other shit.

They can’t arrest you or detain you or deport you for being unable to prove citizenship.

And it isn’t illegal to visit  or be in Arizona if you aren’t an American…yet.

But fuck it if police in Arizona can’t ask you to prove citizenship and then frown at you and probably mumble something about how you’d best get the fuck out of the country or they’ll [insert threat they can't back up legally but that most people probably aren’t aware they can not back of legally ‘cause your average individual doesn’t dig deep into constitutional law or ponder such things when pulled over on the side of the road by a cop].

Sigh.

Although I woke up this morning pondering how much documentation a bitch would need to visit Arizona – check out this post for a good break down of just how confusing that quizzical is – I am now wondering what this ruling means for the America.

I’m serious.

For all the rants from the right about state’s rights, I’ve never been comfortable with just how different rights are from state to state. We are becoming a union of little nations where you may or may not be able to do something in one state but you sure as shit can do it in another.  Sitting pretty in Illinois and asked to show papers in Arizona = bizarre.

That so many celebrate the ability to harass people based on their visual representation as “other” without the ability to enforce any legal ramifications says a lot about them…and, sadly, us.

Oh but ain't that America for you and me

Ain't that America somethin' to see baby

Ain't that America home of the free

Little pink houses for you and me!

Sing it, John.

Blink.

Can we all get along?

Rodney King has died.

He was found floating in his pool. Initial reports state that King likely died as a result of accidental drowning.

Rodney King wasn’t the perfect victim of police brutality. In many ways that’s what made the story that unfolded after footage of police savagely beating him for 15 minutes after a police chase touch me.  No, King wasn’t the perfect victim…totally innocent and lacking shades of grey.

King was the typical victim…the average victim of police brutality, with his oh so human challenges and struggles.

King was anyone…everyone…the strong yet troubled black man straight from central casting to be beaten for 15 minutes by police in the middle of the street.

And now Rodney King is dead.

King lived a life before…before the police chase ended and police surrounded him and beat him.

Rodney King lived a life after he was assaulted…after the police were acquitted and a city went up in flames.

For some, Rodney King will always be the man writhing on the ground as police circled around him delivering blows for 15 minutes.

For others King will forever be the large black man who got what he deserved…who must have done something wrong…who then played the mystical race card to get paid.

But for me, King is anyone and everyone…a point in history where I learned the difference between a black man’s justice and the justice white men enjoy.

I see King…face swollen and bruised, lips trembling with emotion…a human being standing before the world asking whether we can all just get along.

And we answer that question…over and over again…day after day.

Can we all just get along?

We can…

…if we want to.

Lord Stanley’s Cup and a ponder of sports coverage…

The Los Angeles Kings have won the Stanley Cup, defeating the Devils in Game 6 to win it at home.

Pause…confirm residual bitterness from that hit on Pietrangelo during their series with the Blues…continue.

***fixes face***

Congrats, Kings fans!

Longtime readers know that I adore NHL hockey and watch even if my beloved Blues aren’t playing.  But I’ve got to tell y’all, I’ve noticed a trend in sports broadcasting that tends to piss in the Cornflakes of viewers.

The trend?

Pre-game announcing that used to set the stage for games now sets a stage of “why did Team A even bother to dress for this game when Team B is going to whoop that ass and why are you even watching when anyone with a brain knows that Team A doesn’t stand a chance?”

Don’t get me wrong…I get that the Devils weren’t playing the kind of hockey that the Kings were going into the series.  But the Devils were playing the kind of hockey that beat everyone they faced to get to the Finals…so announcers had something to work with, which is why I couldn’t understand why they focused so much on their eminent defeat.

The Devils may have lost the first three games, but they played well.  Hell, the Devils played better in the first three games than they did in Game 6! 

As a viewer who isn’t a fan of either team, I was so turned off by the broadcast coverage that I almost skipped watching. 

And that’s saying something, because I’m the fan who re-watches games all summer so I can keep my hockey buzz going.

Sigh.

This trend isn’t limited to NHL hockey, either. I’m also a tennis fan and Lawd knows John McEnroe can talk down a match better than any NHL hockey announcer ever could!  If McEnroe is calling a Nadal match you can bet your ass that you’re going to hear why [insert player here] should have stayed home in extreme detail.

I just don’t find that exciting.

Maybe its because I’m a St. Louisan…and even though I’m not a baseball fan, even I know that my hometown Cards provided a case study in how a team can exceed expectations while their on the way to winning it all.

That brings me back to the Kings…the same Kings who no one was picking to accomplish a damn thing during the first half of the season…yeah, those Kings that turned it around and made history by winning the Cup.

Kind of makes the case for broadcasters taking a break from emotional predictions of total annihilation and maybe doing some fucking analysis, doesn't it?

Just sayin’.

***logs off to begin the long wait for hockey to start again***

Pondering if Sarah Steelman had to live in her policy dream world…

Hi y’all!

Sorry I’ve been missing in action, but things are hectic right now.

Anyhoo, the Senate recently failed to pass legislation that would have built on the foundation established by the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.  For some reason, Republican members of the Senate think that the path to small business success is paved with the unpaid wages of working women. 

Apparently, Missouri's GOP Senate hopefuls feel the same way. Congressman Akin, John Brunner, and Sarah Steelman all spoke out before the bill stating their dislike.

Akin and Brunner’s willingness to cede the rights of working women is bad enough, but I’m gonna focus on Steelman for a special correction because Sarah Steelman’s politician self has always benefited from the protections she just said she didn’t think American women deserve.

Think about it.

As a politician women get fair pay.  As things currently stand, Steelman doesn’t stand a chance in hell of winning the MO Senate seat…but if she did, her wretched ass would enjoy the privilege of getting paid the same as other Senators.

Senators also get that fantabulous to die for government healthcare that Steelman thinks will ruin we the people should we ever get a taste of it…but we’re talking fair pay here.

And I can’t help pondering if Sarah Steelman would be willing to put her money where her policies are.

I’m serious.

I want Sarah to pledge that, should she be elected, she’ll put her salary to a vote of the people.

Missourians would be able to vote on what we think she should be paid.  The options would be equal to our other Senator, Roy Blunt…or 25 percent less than Senator Blunt.

If she takes that pledge then she’s still an asshole…but at least she’d finally be an asshole willing to endure what she would so casually deal out.

So, Sarah...whatcha think? If 25 percent less for the same work isn't a big deal and is good for business, why not lead by example in the Senate?

***cue crickets***

Blink.

The clinch that got Trumped…

Let’s jump right on in, shall we?

Y’all know how much I adore Newt Gingrich.  

What?

I adore Newt for the guaranteed red-faced asshole moments that he brings with him wherever he roams...and I'm not 'shamed!

I was seriously bummed when he finally admitted that his ass didn’t have a chance in hell of winning the GOP nomination.

Sigh.

Anyhoo, with Newt out and Ron Paul behaving himself this bitch was convinced that the GOP was fixin’ to get their ducks in a row, impose the campaign lock-down loyalty oath-based control that they perfected when running Bush the II, and put on a show to transition the anointed one from If Elected I’ll Hate Just Like You Hate into I Want to be Everyone's BFF and Drink Beer With Y'al While Watching the Game candidate for the general election.

Y’all have no idea how upsetting it was to think that the blog content gods had abandoned me to months of carefully crafted ads featuring Romney’s Stepford family going on and on about how totally AWESOME he is.

I shouldn’t have doubted.

I should have had faith!

Because the blog content gods resurrected Trump the Birther just in time for Romney’s big delegate clinch!!

Fantabulous.

Trump got his ass on all over the television…he took on Wolfie B. on CNN to make his Birther claim…he's off message ALL OVER THE PLACE!

It got so bad that Newt Gingrich emerged to contradict Trump on his Birther claim with a desperate “Romney’s not distracted, the Republican Party is not distracted” mantra that, given the fact that Trump was still mouthing off and distracting the hell out of everyone, came across as more dream than reality.

I kid you NOT!

It's BEAUTIFUL, people.

Mitt’s been well schooled in how to present an expressionless face to the press…but even his ass struggled to hide his reluctance when trying to dodge questions about why he’s hanging out with Trump while Trump continues to rant about Obama’s citizenship.

Mayhap Romney thinks there’s something to gain from race-baiting Obama despite the fact that it didn’t pay off for the Dems in the '08 primary and it didn’t pay off for McCain in the general.

Or maybe Romney can’t control Trump but can’t figure out how to shake him either.

Could it be that Trump is bullying Romney (the former bully) and just won’t leave?

Pause…consider…continue.

Romney has managed to look weak when challenged to provide some leadership on the Birther drama, easily bought cause what happens in Vegas rarely stays in Vegas when you fundraise in Vegas with the King of the Birthers, and politically immature when faced with a perfect set-up to look like the better dude and correct Trump.

And he did all that shit on the same day he finally wrap up the GOP nomination.

Blink.

***logs off to make offering of gratitude to the gods of blog content***

That doesn’t smell like liberty to me…

Nothing screams “liberty” like a law taking health care decisions from the individual and giving them to that individual’s employer!

Yeah, that shit doesn’t sound right to me either.

The problem is that the majority in the Missouri Assembly thought voted to pass that bullshit off as protecting liberty when they voted to pass SB 749 this session.

You may not have heard of SB 749…but you need to take a moment and explore the texture and density so you know it for the stank pile of panderific bullshit that it is.

SB 749 assumes that government needs to protect employers from workers.  SB 749 goes about that by granting employers the right to deny healthcare coverage for birth control and sterilization based on that employer’s personal moral objection.

Pause…allow the bizarreness of that shit to marinate…continue.

It didn’t matter to legislators that birth control is healthcare and has been legal for decades.

It didn’t matter to them that workers have some liberty of their own to protect.

And they sure as shit didn’t factor in the fact that even insurance companies opposed this wretched shit.

Nothing mattered as much as pandering to the Bishops and those who want to thumb their nose at the Obama Administration.

So, now we’ve got a stinking piece of legislation gathering flies on the Governor’s desk…and a demand from we the people that he dust off his pen and give us the veto we deserve.

No word yet from Governor Nixon on what he plans to do…and I’m more than a wee bit disturbed that he didn’t announce a veto right off the bat.

But here we are and there it is.

SB 749 is another steaming example that state government isn’t always working on behalf of the people and that elections matter.

If you are a Missourian you can take action and send a letter to Governor Nixon demanding a veto.

If you’re not a Missourian, don’t gloat…odds are some sort of wretched anti-individual bill is working or has worked it's way through your state government’s intestinal track too.

And if you have any doubt of the power of the conservative religious lobby to craft policy and regulate your life regardless of your values…

…follow the flies then breathe in and get a good sniff of what their new legislative product.

Makes your eyes water, don’t it?

Blink. 

By request – Missouri, amendments, and the right to pray…

A certain Viv from Quebec City wrote to request an explanation of Missouri’s latest amendment-based fuckeduptitude that will bring before voter the question of whether to guarantee the right to pray in public and the right of students to refuse to do shit that violates their religious beliefs.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Why the hell not?

Here you go, Viv!

Governor Nixon signed a proclamation setting the election for what I like to call The Already Guaranteed Right to Pray and Soon to be Guaranteed Right for Students to get Their Hustle On Amendment.

We get to vote on this waste of time, paper, and resources August 7^th.

Anyone who has ever been to an LGBT Pride festival, state fair, outdoor mall, charming little café on the corner…um, walked to a hockey game, tried to walk into a grocery store…gone to get your Afro trimmed…I could go on and on…

Basically, all the public prayer and evangelizing going on in ‘hoods across the land is proof that we the people already have and often loudly exercise the right o pray in public.

Methinks this amendment has something to do with conservative organizers wanting to lure their flock to the voting booth.  Governor Nixon set an August election date so this shit won't be a useful tool to motivate public prayer adoring voters for the General Election in November. Tis like tasty kibble to those who enjoy feeling persecuted despite the lack of persecution…and it likely soothes the ruffled feathers of those who cross the line and disturb the peace then turn around and scream that their right to pray in public has been violated.

I’m much more interested in the second portion of the amendment.

Okay…I’ll confess – I’m a wee bit bitter that these fools didn’t propose a ballot initiative saying students couldn’t be compelled to participate in [insert class work here] that violates their religious beliefs way back in the day when I was a student in Missouri.

Oh, come on!  This is a hustle waiting to happen if I’ve ever seen one!

And yes, I would have been the student citing religious objections to all kinds of shit.

Geometry.

That frog dissection from hell in Junior High.

Pesky Latin translations that I neglected to prepare for.

I would have loved that shit!

But seriously, students are already protected from being compelled to do things that violate their religious beliefs. I had friends who didn’t say the Pledge of Allegiance because their religion states that their only allegiance is to God…and I had other friends who didn’t participate in Saturday events or Sunday events or sex education classes.  Not a one of them got in trouble or a failing grade.

The important thing to remember here is that amending the Missouri constitution to address shit that is already addressed is a favorite pastime here.

In keeping with that tradition, someone needs to propose an amendment guaranteeing the right of state legislators to waste the people’s time during session and fail to pass a jobs bill!

Blink.

Pondering the wrongfully un-arrested…

I’d like to thank the New York City Reproductive Justice Coalition for the honor of participating in the Reproductive Justice Media Training.

My sisters, you are fantabulous and I am so honored to have participated!

Onward…

The news is all a flutter about the results of a report showing that at least 2,000 people convicted on crime were later exonerated in the United States.  This news comes on the heals of news from Texas that a judge who reviewed the 2004 execution ofCameron Todd Willingham planned to posthumously exonerate him but never filed the paperwork.

That ain’t news to folks working at The Innocence Project or anti-death penalty activists…

…but it is news to all those people out there who like to think our criminal justice system is a shining example for the rest of the world.

So, here we are and there it is.

I can’t help wondering about the components within the criminal justice system that operate on the assumption that individuals have been rightly convicted.

What about the parole board?

I’m a crime buff, so I watch a lot of crime shows. When people appear before the parole board they are expected to apologize and explain how they now understand their crime and are prepared to never do it again. But if you are innocent…if you have always maintained your innocence and hope to one day be exonerated…well, those folk are usually chastised for not being reformed and denied parole.

Given the results of this study, will that assumption of a correct conviction be removed from the parole board’s consideration?  And how the hell is that shit done?

And then there is the appeals process which usually denies the convicted the right to challenge the case. Instead, the convicted person has to show that some part of the case was handled inappropriately. The devil is in the details there, because a case can be handled properly and the defendant could simply not have the funds to gather evidence to overcome the state’s case.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

We have a problem.

Our justice system is punishing innocent people.

It has killed innocent people.

And catch that knee and think for a moment…just think.

Exoneration does not automatically mean that a crime didn’t occur. It may, but it could just as easily mean that the wrong person was convicted for a very real crime.

For every wrongful conviction there is likely a criminal out and about in our communities…the wrongfully un-arrested who are free to continue and often shielded from arrest by a system allergic to self-examination.

Wrongful convictions are our problem…

…and none of us should sleep well with 2,000 cases exposed and who the fuck knows how many still lurking in the dark.

Blink.

Just another day of the Missouri GOP acting a fool...

This is the last week of the 2012 Session of the Missouri Assembly.

Thanks the Goddess!

And it’s a damned shame to look upon a legislative session as something to endure…to see elected officials as the enemy set to do you harm…and to wait anxiously to see what insulting public display of hating the masses they’ll come up with next.

That brings me back to this being the final week of session, yesterday’s public display of lout-based boorish ig'nance, and the alarming fact that state legislators still have four days left to show their natural ass.

Shall we?

I’ve made no secret of my disgust over Speaker Tilley’s plan to honor Rush Limbaugh in the Hall of Famous Missourians at the Capitol.  Limbaugh represents everything wrong with Missouri…racism, sexism, the ability of rich people to circumnavigate the criminal justice system while poor people convicted of the same crime languish in jail, and a tendency for the money elite of the state to bedazzle poor residents into voting against their own best interest through a manipulation of so-called social value issues.  But the same things that make me know Limbaugh is unfit for any honor at the Capitol are the very things that make those who benefit from that bedazzling at the polls want to honor him.

And so they have…in a partisan “ceremony” saturated in wrongness, reeking of political pander, and closed to the public despite the fact that it took place in the middle of the damn day during the final week of session on the floor of the Missouri House of Representatives.

Limbaugh arrived with 40 state troopers (did my tax dollars pay for that?) and was smuggled into the Capitol where Republican lawmakers and their staff greeted him much like North Koreans used to greet Kim Jung Il…and then Limbaugh was honored at an invitation only ceremony on the House floor that was closed to the public.

Limbaugh accepted his honor by calling critics andDemocratic legislators deranged.

I can’t help but see yesterday’s theatre as metaphor for the 2012 Session.

It brought embarrassment and ridicule upon the Missouri Assembly, was done behind closed doors and the people were denied entrance…and the sole purpose appears to be kissing the ass of a rich white man who likes to spend his days insulting women, making racist jokes, bullying gays, calling for harsh legal repercussions for poor people convicted of drug crimes while feeling entitled to a pass his own damned self, and generally accomplishing nothing only to call it a day, grab a stogie, and kick back with the boys to make more racist jokes, laugh about how they bullied those gays (good times!), and then stroke their guns while muttering about how brown people are going to come flooding over the Missouri/Kansas border bent on steeling their liberty.

Blink.

Y’all ain’t slick, Newsweek…

Shall we?

You’d have to live under a rock to have missed last week’s news that President Obama has evolved to the enlightened level of personally supporting same-sex marriage. 

While I’ve been hoping his evolution would swiftly take him to the level above support that my people call policy (cue crickets), I’ve also been waiting to see which news outlet would violently shit the bed on this story.

The prize goes to Newsweek.

Let me be clear…Newsweek won gold for the cover alone.

Here’s the thing – Obama’s announcement of his personal evolution to support same-sex marriage does not make him gay…or even a solid supporter of LGBT equality…and it sure as shit doesn’t make him the first gay president.

Sorry, Newsweek…but that shit works my last nerve just like people calling Bill Clinton’s ass the first black president because of his alleged support of policies beneficial to black people.

Advocating for equality rights for a group does not make a person of that group.

If President Obama comes out in June then y’all can plaster the cover with rainbows all you want.

But…yeah, um…supporting same-sex marriage does not make a person gay.

I find the Newsweek cover particularly troubling given this culture’s tendency to label anyone saying anything positive toward LGBT people as LGBT so they can then turn around and bully that person for being LGBT.

Now will come the defense that Andrew Sullivan wrote the Newsweek article…so a gay man wrote the article…and blah, blah, followed by blah…and I don’t get a shit.

Toni Morrison called Clinton the first black president…and her black ass was wrong.

Pause…consider…continue.

Lawd help the first asshole that steps up with “gay is the new black”…

Blink.

On same-sex marriage and granting rights by popular opinion…

Shall we?

Yesterday President Obama became the first President of theUnited States to declare support for same-sex marriage.

This is a historic moment and should be acknowledged as such.

When Missouri passed a constitutional amendment defining marriage as one man to one woman, I watched many a Missourian step forward and spout bullshit about how traditional marriage was being threatened by same-sex marriage and that marriage equality would destroy society and blah, blah, and blah.

The amendment passed in 2004.

50 percent of Missouri marriages still end in divorce.

The only thing that vote changed was the Missouri constitution.

North Carolina voters just used the ballot to bully same-sex couples wanting the right to marry and I can guarantee that not a damn thing is going to change regarding marriage in North Carolina except the law.

Sigh.

Anyhoo, President Obama got a lot right when he stated his belief that same-sex couples should be allowed to marry…

…but he got one big thing wrong.

This shit shouldn’t be left to the states…civil rights should not be decided by popular vote.

Interracial dating and marriage still isn’t popular. I recall an embarrassing public outcry in St. Louis when the St. Louis Post-Dispatch put an interracial couple on the cover of a magazine…and that was in 2009.

As for calls to move the Democratic National Convention from North Carolina because of their vote, I’ll leave that to party members and convention attendees to decide.

Just don’t come a’calling to St. Louis as an alternative because we were the runner up city. 

If marriage equality is the litmus test then Missouri fails that shit big time. LGBT Missourians can be fired for being out…same-sex marriage is illegal and banned…and state lawmakers want to make it illegal to discuss sexual orientation in schools.

Pause…consider…continue.

Missouri is, however, a shining example of what happens when granting or denying civil rights is left up to the states to decide.

Blink. 

On the 2011-2012 Blues…

For the uninitiated – I’m a hockey fan and adore my beloved St. Louis Blues! If you haven’t checked NHL hockey out…do it, damnit!

Confession – I haven’t blogged about the NHL Playoffs because I’m superstitious as hell and the Blues were winning without my mentioning them online so…well, shit – never fuck with a winning streak!

Now that we’ve got that out of the way…

What to say, what to say, WHAT TO SAY?

The St. Louis Blues’ fantastic run came to an end Sunday when they were swept by those damn Kings.

Yes, I’m bitter…but I think the series with the Kings was a good learning experience for the Note.  Nothing exposes what a team needs to work on line playing a team that relentlessly exploits all of your weaknesses.

Sob.

Anyhoo, the 2011-2012 season was still fantabulous.

The Blues stumbled out of the gate…couldn’t pull themselves together for the longest time…and then Coach Hitchcock came aboard and everything changed for the better.  I watched with pride as my team started playing hockey the right way and winning because of it.  They were a team to be feared and respected…and nothing made this fan more proud.

Alas, all good things must come to an end.

I’d hoped our run would end with the Blues hoisting Lord Stanley’s Cup…but that isn’t to be.

So, I’ll mourn the end of our season even as I enjoy the remaining post-season match-ups.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Shit, now I’ve got to choose a team still in the hunt to cheer for.

Lawd…

***logs off the check out The Hockey News*** 

Um, why are those exotic animals being returned to that widow?

Okay, y’all…I’m back.

Thank you all for your advice and encouragement!

Now…shall we?

Y’all remember last year when a bunch of exotic animals were released in the middle of the night by their owner in Ohio? 

Mmhmm, there were 911 calls from folks saying “I think I just saw a lion and bear fighting on my deck!” or “There’s a panther swimming in my pool!”

Okay, those aren’t exact quotes…but close.

Anyhoo, the owner killed himself after releasing his animals. Tragically, police concerned about an outbreak of suburban lion attacks killed a lot of the animals.  Some of the animals consumed the other exotic animals and…well, let’s just say it was a clusterfuck of a situation that made national news.

The crazy freak-out-and-bring-the-dogs-inside situation itself was newsworthy.

But the event also brought attention to the lax regulations of exotic animal ownership in Ohio.  In the aftermath, politicians pontificated about passing new laws while animal welfare activists pointed out the need to end the exotic animal trade in America.

Fast-forward to today…and go ahead and bring your dogs inside if you live in Ohio.

The widow of the owner who killed himself after releasing all those lions and tigers and bears just won the right to get the surviving animals back.

Even though there are concerns about the fact that cages have not been fixed.

Even though there are concerns about the conditions the animals were being kept in prior to last years fiasco.

And the choir asked… “How can this be, Shark-Fu? That doesn’t make a lick of sense!”

And The Shark replied… “Anti-regulation freaks in government strike again, my friends!”

Ohio is working on bills…but for some reason lawmakers think the ban on exotic animal ownership should not apply to current owners.  Even if the proposed legislation becomes law it will not apply to folks…and we’re talking about a lot of folks…who happen to have a lion or bear about the house.

I don’t even want to think about what the law says about animals born to animals already being held in Ohio.  Lawd, a person could have thousands of animals roaming outside of Columbus and it would be freaking legal!

Pause…consider…continue.

This is Don’t Tread on Me gone wrong. 

Shit, I just spent a day lobbying a few Missouri legislators who would consider exotic animal regulation a mandate and oppose it even though it makes sense…cause “liberty ain’t easy” and “patriots gotta hold the line.”

Who wants to bet that the Tea Party solution to exotic animal drama is regular militia-based big game hunts in the burbs?

And don’t get smug just because you don’t live in Ohio…there aren’t any border fences between states and you can bet your ass the average pride of lions will just love getting their Heartland hunt on if another owner decides to liberate them from suburban bondage.

***clutches snack-sized sorta-beagles***

Blink.

Unsettled...

I stepped away from this blog last week because I found this space…a space I created…unsettling.

This has happened before…

…and it will happen again.

Knowing that it will happen again is what gave me pause and prompted my inner work.

A dear friend has often said that people of color need our own online spaces because wide-open dialogue too often becomes a Q&A session that makes a body feel like an exhibit on display.

I see the value in having safe online places for people of color to dialogue free of outside commentary…just as I see the value in open dialogue.

But I’ve got to tell ya…open dialogue is emotionally grueling and a little over a week ago it just became too much.

Well, that’s not exactly true.

I could have blogged last week.

But I honestly think I had crossed over from anger into rage, which isn’t what this blog is about.

So I stepped away and spent the week pondering whether my voice matters…whether this blog is worth it…and whether it is time to shut the school of bitchitude down and move on to whatever the future has lined up next.

Because this space...a space I created...had become unsettling.

I decided to keep blogging here and to give myself permission to step away when I feel the need.

I know that the unsettled feeling is part of the struggle.

But that doesn’t make it easy.

Pause.

Sip coffee.

Continue.

There is no way in HELL that dog loved being in a carrier on top of the family car!

Hi y’all!

I’m busy working on an article that is giving me fits, but I read this headline - Dog Seamus 'Loved' Trips Atop Family Car, Says Ann Romney – and I just had to respond.

The Romney camp has been deflecting attacks on how out-of-touch he is with the lives of regular hard working Americans. I’ve read about Mitt’s tax rate, his wife’s love of dressage (think rich people bullshit and add expensive as hell to it), and how he’s friends with folks who own professional sports teams.

Don’t get me wrong – I think it is important to question whether those who draft social policy have an intimate knowledge of how that policy impacts the lives of the 99%. Hell, if I had my way candidates would have to answer questions about whether they have ever had debt or had to float a bill to eat or feed a child.

I get how highlighting Mitt’s life of wealth, milk, and honey demonstrates why he’s going to have to study regular folk before he could even begin to consider how to represent our wishes in office…

…but it seems to me that the best example of how out-of-touch the Romney’s are is that they put their family dog on top of their car and took off for a road trip and Ann Romney thinks the dog LOVED that shit.

I feel the need to speak up for Seamus the dog here - there is no way in HELL that dog loved being in a carrier on top of the family car!

Shit, they have tons of children...why didn't they put the dawg on a lap or two in the backseat?

If Seamus were around to tell his side of the story he’d likely dispute the notion that he got the shits that day from eating turkey off the counter. 

Dawgs don't shit themselves out of joy...that poor dawg got the shits from sheer terror!

Heaven to hell and back again, this freakish attempt to spin putting a family pet on top of a car and freaking it out until the poor dear shat itself as giving the dawg the ride of his life has GOT to be the most solid evidence that Team Romney is bent and unfit to lead that I’ve heard yet!

Trust me, if the Romney’s think Seamus “loved” shitting himself in terror on top of the family car how the hell will they interpret our responses to policy?

Pause…consider…continue.

We’ll be shitting ourselves for years while Ann Romney giggles, flippantly waves at us from atop one of her horses, and then tells her dressage buddies how much we LOVE shitting ourselves!

Blink.

Hold please…

I’m wrapping up an article so bitchitude is on hold until this evening!

Toodles til then…

A matter of degree?

I have to confess to taking a step away from the internets over the weekend. Once word came down that there was a shooting spree in Tulsa, Oklahoma…and information was released that all five victims are black…well, I found myself in need of a break.

Now…well, now I find myself pondering whether the difference between what happened in Tulsa over the weekend and the murder of Trayvon Martin isn’t just a matter of degree.

Catch thy knee – you know that I know that you know and I know that we don’t have a motive in the Tulsa shootings. We do have racist Facebook postings…but white people who post about [insert “N” word here] are exempt from racial profiling so we shall not draw any conclusions from that shit. 

Tis okay…the lack of motive actually factors into my pondering.

There is a noticeable difference between how new anchors deliver news on the Trayvon Martin murder and how they speak about the shootings in Tulsa.

A change in tone…from uncertainty to concern…from confusion to that comfortable mental space Americans have developed to store easily confirmed wrongs.

I can't help thinking that…can’t help pondering the quizzical…what if this is all just a matter of degree?

What if the Tulsa shooters had planned to use Oklahoma's Stand Your Ground law?

Think about it.

What if the Tulsa shooters had left their vehicle…followed their victims…called the police…incited a confrontation…and then shot them?

What if they then claimed they were afraid?

I’ve always known that racism is rooted in fear and insecurity.  Confident and secure people don’t feel the need to oppress others…they don’t fear competition…they don’t resort to violence.

So, what if the Tulsa shooters claim fear…if the one who lost his father at the hands of a black man lifts that up as an example of why he feared then killed…

…isn’t it just a matter of degree?

I find no comfort in this quizzical.

Because if the reason Tulsa is outraged while Sanford sleeps well at night resides within a matter of degree…if that’s true, then the racism has metastasized and we are farther from the cure than I thought.

Blink.

Consolidating behind Romney…

GOP primary voters in D.C., Maryland, and Wisconsin sent a message yesterday!

Yep, they are consolidating behind Romney…like a jar of bacon grease in a cold ass room.

Romney won all three contests, but that’s not the big news.

The big news…the huge news…the take-away that Team Romney wants to make sure you take away is that Romney finally managed to get über conservative voters to vote for him.

Gingrich and then Santorum had been scoring the super duper “Reagan was soft” John Burch society voters, but that all changed yesterday.

Mmmmhmmm, yesterday Romney broke through…this victory changes EVERYTHING…he’s the main man, now!

I must confess that I’m a wee bit disappointed in yesterday’s GOP primary voters.

Über conservatives had held out in all the previous primaries.

Pause...consider...continue.

They were like Christina Crawford sitting at the dinner table refusing to eat that raw steak night after night.

And Mitt is Mommie Dearest…always having to have his way and forcing his raw steak on the Christina Burchian voters.

But Christina held strong in the movie!  

Oh, Joan made her pay for it…but Christina wasn’t broken despite all that manipulative abuse.

Not so of über conservative GOP Primary voters based on yesterday’s results.

Either those voters lack the courage of their convictions…

…or Team Romney finally found someone to "motivate" them to take a healthy bite of cold raw steak.

Either way they aint got shit on Miss Christina Crawford.

Blink.

For Anna Brown, who died on the floor of a police cell…

Confession - I’ve been struggling with feelings of disgust, frustration, and rage.

I’m doing some inner work.

And no, this rage is not the same as my daily indulgence of anger.

For every public display of wretchedness…there is often an answering demonstration of decency.

Usually that helps me stay balanced.

Usually…

…but not lately.

Lately, I’ve been struggling against hate and losing the hell out of the battle.

Her name was Anna Brown.

The rage comes when I see a news update on the model from Texas who lost her eye and hand in a freak plane accident…and the news anchors offer up those soothing sounds and enthusiastic statements about her recovery…and when the rage eases it is replaced by hate.

Anna Brown was 29 years old.

Hate because a woman in my home town was arrested for refusing to leave St. Mary’s hospital…and she died in a cell from the condition that hospital neglected to identify or refused to treat due to her being a poor black woman living in this rich white man’s world…and Good Morning America could give a shit about her…most people could give a shit about her…but I can’t stop mourning Anna Brown any more than I can stop the rage or the feelings of hate that replace it.

Anna Brown was a mother.

But it is a given that we all give a shit about Lauren Scruggs...and I want to be the type of person who does too…but instead I’m sitting here struggling not to hate her for being lovable, worthy or care and concern.

I’m struggling not to dismiss Lauren’s struggle just because the media celebrates her even as they ignore stories about women of color…stories about our struggle or our disappearance or our achievement…

Anna Brown died alone…writhing in agony…on the floor of a police cell.

…or our death by medical neglect in a Catholic hospital that then has the gall to hold up heath care disparities as a excuse for a patient’s death in police custody…a patient the hospital had arrested for seeking health care...and health care disparities Catholic hospitals gleefully seek to perpetuate through the relentless anti health care reform advocacy of the Bishops.

And until Anna Brown’s life has value…until Anna Brown’s death on the floor of a police cell gets the same coverage as the tragic maiming of an unknown model from Texas…

…until the murder of an unarmed black teen inspires the same media coverage as the murder of an unarmed white teen.

Until then, I’ll be doing a lot of inner work and struggling against hate.

Anna Brown was someone's everything.

Until justice.

Anna Brown is missed.

Until peace.

Anna Brown was.

Until.