Job descriptions...

Did you miss me? You know you did!

Oh, thank all that is holy that this Christmas thang is over! A bitch was overwhelmed and over socialized.

Oh shit…there’s still New Years to get through!

Mercy.

Anyhoo, a bitch had a pretty good holiday. Lots of feasting with my sister and my brother and friends. We went with a pork roast with an apricot glaze…YUM! And, of course, we had corn casserole and various yumminess on the side. Yum to the second power.

Christmas day was stressful for no good reason. And then we ventured out to socialize, which was fun. A certain Gatsby’s Ghost had a fantasmic house party…with yummy snacks (a bitch ate too many) and extra yummy vodka crans (a bitch had just enough of those). Oh , and That Guy was there too getting his holiday festitude on. All in all a good time and a great way to finish off the day!

This morning my ass woke up, prepared my coffee and clicked on the Today Show. And let me tell you, nothing announces the end of the Christmas holiday like Ann Coulter’s rancid ass spewing off about liberals and her blessed conservative movement. Shit, it was like a slap in the face…her pinched mouth, the nonsense coming out of it and that body that just screams out with its need for nourishment. Honey, eat for the love of all that is holy! Eat!

Ann's nasty post birth of Jesus holiday spewing brings us to...

Job descriptions…
Ann Coulter was vehemently defending Scooter (new readers should know that a President Bush is Scooter to this bitch) and his secret under the table domestic spy program. She repeated much of the same “defender of the realm” rhetoric that Secretary Condi Rice forked out over the weekend to Wolfie B. on CNN. But something has always bothered me about the “my most solemn duty is to protect the American people” argument.

A bitch acknowledges that my ass is no constitutional scholar, but this bitch is pretty sure that all presidents swear to preserve and protect the Constituion of the United States. So, shouldn't Scooter's actions be judged against that job description and not the one he has created for himself?

A bitch journeyed over to the Cornell Law web site in honor of a certain rancid Ann Coulter’s alma mater (though folks should keep in mind that she hates Ivy League intellectuals and only attended Cornell to gain a better understanding of why they should be hated…and she reluctantly includes Cornell in her biography, just to make sure that everyone in the fucking world knows that she hates Ivy League intellectuals and she is intimately familiar with them, having attended Cornell…did my ass mention that she went to Cornell, because a bitch is pretty sure there’s a law out there that Ann Coulter and Cornell must be mentioned in the same paragraph).

Whew.

So, the good people at Cornell Law have a link to the Constitution of the United States of America. Yeah! A bitch clicked over to the Presidency and then to the Presidential Powers section.

And there it was…right in front of a bitch’s eyes…

Before he enter on the execution of his office, he shall take the following oath or affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

And that’s the wee little point that makes all of these other job descriptions piss me the hell off.

A bitch fears that too many citizens don’t quite understand the president’s job description. And, having held many jobs, a bitch understands that what you are actually called to do and what you have been hired to do often have nothing in common. However, when confronted with a critique over what you were hired to do versus what you did do…well, one should avoid throwing back the job description you have created as a defense against failing to do the job you were hired for.

Preserve…keep or maintain in unaltered condition.

Protect…shield from danger, injury, destruction or damage.

Defend…to repel danger or harm from.

Now, don't go freaking out and mouthing off about how a bitch doesn't care about 'safety' and 'my fellow citizens'. Does a bitch want to be a victim? No. Does a bitch want to be protected against harm? Yes. Does a bitch feel that a domestic spy service that skirts the laws of this land supposedly to protect the very people it is spying on ('cause the only way we know that Scooter is spying on the enemy is 'cause he said so...and his ass has been wrong as a motherfucker before) is the way to accomplish that? No.

We are teetering on a brink…balancing on a ledge with all the agility of a bitch after four vodka crans on an empty stomach. Scooter and his minions are making a rather Nixonesque argument…that, to protect the people they must be beyond and above the law. And a bitch very sincerely fears that such arguments are the actual domestic enemy we need protecting from.

Well, they may seek to fuck with our system of government, undermine our laws and circumnavigate our system of checks and balances. But they had best cease doing it in my name. A bitch is an American, proud the fuck of it (shock...gasps) and not in need of modernized high tech tyranny dressed up in the trappings of public safety.

Got that, big brother?