Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Job descriptions...

Did you miss me? You know you did!

Oh, thank all that is holy that this Christmas thang is over! A bitch was overwhelmed and over socialized.

Oh shit…there’s still New Years to get through!

Mercy.

Anyhoo, a bitch had a pretty good holiday. Lots of feasting with my sister and my brother and friends. We went with a pork roast with an apricot glaze…YUM! And, of course, we had corn casserole and various yumminess on the side. Yum to the second power.

Christmas day was stressful for no good reason. And then we ventured out to socialize, which was fun. A certain Gatsby’s Ghost had a fantasmic house party…with yummy snacks (a bitch ate too many) and extra yummy vodka crans (a bitch had just enough of those). Oh , and That Guy was there too getting his holiday festitude on. All in all a good time and a great way to finish off the day!

This morning my ass woke up, prepared my coffee and clicked on the Today Show. And let me tell you, nothing announces the end of the Christmas holiday like Ann Coulter’s rancid ass spewing off about liberals and her blessed conservative movement. Shit, it was like a slap in the face…her pinched mouth, the nonsense coming out of it and that body that just screams out with its need for nourishment. Honey, eat for the love of all that is holy! Eat!

Ann's nasty post birth of Jesus holiday spewing brings us to...

Job descriptions…
Ann Coulter was vehemently defending Scooter (new readers should know that a President Bush is Scooter to this bitch) and his secret under the table domestic spy program. She repeated much of the same “defender of the realm” rhetoric that Secretary Condi Rice forked out over the weekend to Wolfie B. on CNN. But something has always bothered me about the “my most solemn duty is to protect the American people” argument.

A bitch acknowledges that my ass is no constitutional scholar, but this bitch is pretty sure that all presidents swear to preserve and protect the Constituion of the United States. So, shouldn't Scooter's actions be judged against that job description and not the one he has created for himself?

A bitch journeyed over to the Cornell Law web site in honor of a certain rancid Ann Coulter’s alma mater (though folks should keep in mind that she hates Ivy League intellectuals and only attended Cornell to gain a better understanding of why they should be hated…and she reluctantly includes Cornell in her biography, just to make sure that everyone in the fucking world knows that she hates Ivy League intellectuals and she is intimately familiar with them, having attended Cornell…did my ass mention that she went to Cornell, because a bitch is pretty sure there’s a law out there that Ann Coulter and Cornell must be mentioned in the same paragraph).

Whew.

So, the good people at Cornell Law have a link to the Constitution of the United States of America. Yeah! A bitch clicked over to the Presidency and then to the Presidential Powers section.

And there it was…right in front of a bitch’s eyes…

Before he enter on the execution of his office, he shall take the following oath or affirmation:--"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

And that’s the wee little point that makes all of these other job descriptions piss me the hell off.

A bitch fears that too many citizens don’t quite understand the president’s job description. And, having held many jobs, a bitch understands that what you are actually called to do and what you have been hired to do often have nothing in common. However, when confronted with a critique over what you were hired to do versus what you did do…well, one should avoid throwing back the job description you have created as a defense against failing to do the job you were hired for.

Preserve…keep or maintain in unaltered condition.

Protect…shield from danger, injury, destruction or damage.

Defend…to repel danger or harm from.

Now, don't go freaking out and mouthing off about how a bitch doesn't care about 'safety' and 'my fellow citizens'. Does a bitch want to be a victim? No. Does a bitch want to be protected against harm? Yes. Does a bitch feel that a domestic spy service that skirts the laws of this land supposedly to protect the very people it is spying on ('cause the only way we know that Scooter is spying on the enemy is 'cause he said so...and his ass has been wrong as a motherfucker before) is the way to accomplish that? No.

We are teetering on a brink…balancing on a ledge with all the agility of a bitch after four vodka crans on an empty stomach. Scooter and his minions are making a rather Nixonesque argument…that, to protect the people they must be beyond and above the law. And a bitch very sincerely fears that such arguments are the actual domestic enemy we need protecting from.

Well, they may seek to fuck with our system of government, undermine our laws and circumnavigate our system of checks and balances. But they had best cease doing it in my name. A bitch is an American, proud the fuck of it (shock...gasps) and not in need of modernized high tech tyranny dressed up in the trappings of public safety.

Got that, big brother?

11 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh hell yes, my sister!

"And a bitch very sincerely fears that such arguments are the actual domestic enemy we need protecting from." - yes, a million times yes. And that is the piece I don't think some people truly GET. The real and true threat, at this point in time, is coming from those INSIDE this country who are clearly trying to take away so much that others have struggled and died for.

It's so obvious to me and I keep wondering what is wrong with others that they cannot see it too? I'm not that saavy (about politics, anyway). Wake up, little sheeples. :)

Glad you had a faboo Christmas. Smarties for everyone!

Bex

BarefootCajun said...

“They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.” – Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759.

Disgusted in St. Louis said...

I wish someone would smack Ann Coulter with a litle bit of truth in law and history instead of her anorexic induced hallucinations of conservative revisionist history and visions of nine Christian Fundamentalists on the SCOTUS.

Exhibit 1, from the Articles of Impeachment against Richard M. Nixon:

Article 2: Abuse of Power.
--------------------------
Using the powers of the office of President of the United States, Richard M. Nixon, in violation of his constitutional oath faithfully to execute the office of President of the United States and, to the best of his ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in disregard of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has repeatedly engaged in conduct violating the constitutional rights of citizens, imparting the due and proper administration of justice and the conduct of lawful inquiries, or contravening the laws governing agencies of the executive branch and the purposes of these agencies.

(I really like this part of Article 2)
(2) He misused the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Secret Service, and other executive personnel, in violation or disregard of the constitutional rights of citizens, by directing or authorizing such agencies or personnel to conduct or continue electronic surveillance or other investigations for purposes unrelated to national security, the enforcement of laws, or any other lawful function of his office; he did direct, authorize, or permit the use of information obtained thereby for purposes unrelated to national security, the enforcement of laws, or any other lawful function of his office; and he did direct the concealment of certain records made by the Federal Bureau of Investigation of electronic surveillance.
----------------------------------

I am waiting for a reply from my representative, Congressman Russ Carnahan, to the letter I sent, which included Exhibit 1.

Oh well. Until then this animated message for Scooter will have to carry us through (I'm teaching myself how to make animated GIFs).

Bald Professor Lady said...

Sing it, sister!

As Ben Franklin said... Those who give up essential liberties for temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.~Benjamin Franklin

AOB said...

After American Airlines turned over all of my travel records to HOMELAND fucking Security, and the US Govt reviewed my foreign visa status...a Federal Agent called the FAA Designee I do a lot of work for and had him on the phone for damn near an hour before authorizing me to have a new passport.
It'a not about power anymore it's about keeping power.

Anonymous said...

Ann Coulter reminds me of women I went to school with. They all wanted to get their MRS degree but if that didn't work out, and many times it didn't, they just HAD to get an education. Coulter probably resents that she had to go to Cornell, and get an education. She probably wishes she were a 1950's housewife, all doped up on "happy pills." I just wish she'd go away.

Absolut Billy said...

I know I ma not supposed to use the C word in mixed company (or at all) but Ann Coulter is the biggest fucking cunt ALIVE. I cant even describe how much I hate her and the garbage she spouts. The head of the log cabin republicans here is JUST like her. They talk to hear their heads rattle. it doesnt matter if THEY even bleive what they are saying, as long as someone is listening/printing/broadcasting it.

It's Me, Maven... said...

It does merit saying that today's "Defender of the Constitution," would no doubt consider Franklin, Payne et al as heretics, as a good lot of our forebears were Quaker, and not some ultra-right evangelical wanna-be.

Protect the Constitution my luscious, yet pastey, white ass! First opportunity they got, they foist that USAPATRIOTACT upon us while the country hardly even started grieving the countless deaths from 9/11. Most neo-cons hope the rest of us won't realize that the USAPATRIOTACT had been in the works for a while and just waited for the right time to justify changing the Fourth Amendment.

I highly recommend folks checking out http://www.thememoryhole.org/ and especially invest a few pennies and buy Mr. Krick's book, "50 Things You're Not Supposed to Know." Fabulous and eye opening read.

Hammer said...

We missed you ABB!

How nice was it to not have to worry about the fucking Christian Right over Christmas? I tuned out everything and I, much like you ABB, was immediately snapped back into reality this week. HATE THAT!

The president is a giant douche! GIGANTIC! I had the opportunity to meet with some friends in Chicago and talk to some CISPES peeps...all I have to say is that this shit will work out one day! (hopefully in the not too distant future!). More and more people are 'waking up!!' woo hoo!

So, January 13th is the first STL Food Not Bombs Event...we will be serving the homeless in Lucas Park (downtown!)...

You should come...we will be cooking Jan 12th (pm)

Hope to see you there!

Peace!

Hammer

Romani Heart said...

Amen sistah!

Bald Professor Lady said...

Hey, Barefoot Cajun... great minds think alike. Sorry to requote your quote! How about this one: "It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from its government." -- Thomas Paine