Thursday, December 15, 2005

Thursday...

Happy Thursday! A bitch slept like a rock last night and woke up feeling fantastically refreshed.

2 cups coffee mixed with 1% organic milk and Splenda, 1 Claritin, 2 Sudafed and cigs…

Okay, so this bitch is starting to get excited about a long holiday break. Of course, there will be a plan…the food, the drink and the food and drink. My ass intends to spend at least one day on the couch not moving!

The Bitch Squad has decided against adopting another dawg. Instead, we are going to sponsor one of the Stray Rescue dawgs in need of extensive medical care. Maybe another canine is in our family’s future, but we’ve got a lot on our plate right now as it is.

The Prince of Darkness is stirring shit up…again…
A bitch read this shit with shock and amazement. Has a certain Mr. Novak turned against the pack? Perhaps The Prince of Darkness is feeling left out and just wanted to join the party. No matter the motivation, Mr. Novak has tossed out a rather provocative declaration…your ball, Mr. President!

Moving forward…

ABB's Holiday Shopping List...
This bitch is a wee bit behind on my holiday preparations. A bitch doesn’t have a ton of people to buy presents for…my mentee, my brother, my sister, our dawgs, the women’s shelter’s toy drive and the other women’s shelter’s toy drive. And, thankfully, most of the people on my holiday list are rather easy to shop for. The best thing about holiday shopping is that there is a story behind each person and what my ass plans to get them!

My mentee…
We’ve been matched for quite a while and she’s been through a lot of drama. At 12, she’s seen a beloved family member killed, watched her family sink into extreme poverty and witnessed her neighborhood burn down around her. My mentee has had a bad year at school…fights, skipped classes and sinking grades. But, underneath all of the defiant anger, there is a wonderful and amazingly bright young woman. She likes stuffed bears with lots of fashion and all things that glitter…her favorite color is blue…she’s grown so much this year that she will need another new coat. So…something coveted, something longed for and something needed for Miss Thang.

My brother…
Bill has had a shit year too. He’s such a great guy to shop for, because his autistic ass will adore anything that involves ripping wrapping paper and tearing into boxes. Watching Bill get a present is a thing of joy…he saves the wrapping paper so that he can experience its texture over and over again. And he adores cards…with texture and pop up things. Since Bill lost the job he absolutely loved he’s been bored out of his mind…so, a bitch is looking into exercise bikes and other physical activities that he can do to help burn off some energy. A bike, some McDonald’s gift certificates and tons of cards and paper with texture for Bill.

My sister…
A bitch’s sister and this bitch have agreed to not do the whole gift thing this year. However, this bitch will defy that agreement, follow tradition and purchase some sort of comfy bedtime sleep related thing…its just what’s done, honey! C-Money, you are a precious gift from the Devine One…the least a bitch can do is update your flannel.

Our dawgs…
Miss Sweetie and Miss Betsey shall have bones. Some sort of hide for the three-legged Chow and a nyla-bone for the sorta-Beagle. These gifts should keep them occupied while a bitch lounges on the couch over the holiday weekend!

A mother’s wish for her chil’ren…
Loyal readers know that this bitch volunteers at a couple of St. Louis shelters. This year a bitch’s women’s group is conducting a toy drive. This bitch was thrilled to see that educational toys and books topped the toy list from the shelters. There is nothing more humbling than to read a mother’s wish for her chil’ren and to know that she is relying on us to make that wish come true.

Books, teething toys and interactive toys are being gathered and wrapped.

Oh, and a bitch’s wish for this holiday? Shit, my ass will be thrilled to survive shopping for all of this stuff!

Toodles!

2 comments:

BarefootCajun said...

ABB - Would Bill like to receive cards from "afar"? I could find a cool one with texture and glitter and would love to send it to him.

Crystal-Lynn said...

Well, if you insist, Victoria's Secret Flannel Pajamas in pop floral, pink fun dot, bubble dog or pink stars would please a bitch.