Hold please...

A bitch has a deadline...

...so bitchitude will be on hold until tonight.

Toodles for now!

The day after the big game...

Hi y’all!

Okay, so this bitch caught the big game yesterday. It had everything – anticipation, two elite teams prepared to give it their all and a sold out crowd on hand to watch that shit!

And Lawd knows the actual game lived up to the hype…the intensity was out of this world and by the time the lead changed hands a bitch was on the edge of my seat!

Mmmhmm, that Caps v. Pens hockey game was all that and a bowl of grits!

Blink.

What?

Oh yeah, and congrats to the New Orleans Saints on that Super Bowl win (wink).

Moving forward…

A bitch did watch the Super Bowl commercials…I missed the infamous Focus on the Family ad because I was too busy focusing on frying up some catfish for my family.

But yeah, I caught most of the commercials and…well, um…one would think that they were created for a Cage Fighting championship rather than a football game that is watched by both women and men.

There were some good ads…but there was also a disturbing theme of emasculated men and the products that will save them.

Jezebel has a post up about it.

A bitch is curious –what the fuck, ad people?

I’m serious…a bitch is eager to know what research and analysis resulting in this year’s crop of man as victim ads.

***cue crickets***

Yeah….right….get back to me on that, why don’tcha.

Blink.

By request, Cynthia Davis’ latest verbal malfunction…

A certain Tamara from Rolla has asked a bitch for my thoughts on Missouri State Rep. Cynthia Davis’ latest verbal malfunction.

I assume you are referring to her thoughts on the nutritional habits of black people that she was kind enough to share with a woman of color testifying during a recent House Health Care Policy Committee meeting.

That meeting where she referred to “your people” and “your community” while addressing the witness, right?

Right.

Fired Up Missouri reports that Davis, well known for her opinion that hunger is a positive motivator for children, said something close to, "We should revamp the food stamp program so people who get food stamps can't buy junk food like potato chips and chocolate milk"...while she was eating potato chips herself.

Sigh.

Tamara from Rolla, what can a bitch say to that shit?

Cynthia Davis averages a verbal malfunction a week while the Missouri legislature is in session.

That’s what she does.

I’ve decided that her continued platform as a Rep. who apparently wants to be a State Senator says more about those who vote for her than the woman herself.

Clearly a majority of her constituents want Cynthia Davis to average a verbal malfunction a week during session.

I can’t figure out why they want that shit…but I get the message.

Pause…consider…continue.

Chocolate milk and potato chips?

Lawd, have mercy…

Keep on talkin’…

Shall we?

A bitch just caught a wee bit of the coverage from the current Tea Party Convention going on. Apparently there’s more than one party formed around tea in this country (who knew?) but the one currently getting sorta-coverage is having a convention.

Former Colorado Congressman Tom Tancredo kicked off the convention with a rousing speech that contained the following statement…

“People who could not even spell the word ‘vote’ or say it in English put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House.”

Oh my, this shit is gonna be better than anticipated!

I was going to address that shit point by ig’nant point but…damn it if Tancredo didn’t go so far to the right of standard ig’nance that a bitch doesn’t even feel the need to address it.

I mean, shit…now might be the time for liberals to go silent and let these people talk themselves to the ground!

When I factor in that there are more than one of these Tea Party parties about…and they’ll also want to get their convention on…and they may even produce their own candidates who will go around the nation saying this kind of shit on a regular basis…well, damn it all – Democrats so don’t deserve this bounty from on high.

And these parties of tea haven’t even gotten to insulting women…calling for the dissolution of public school education…demanding Sovereignty for each state in the union (and can I tell you, nothing is more amusing that watching these folks kick off a rally with the Pledge of Allegiance then indulge in an hour or two of Sovereignty porn)…or going off on former GOP super-stars for not being conservative enough!

Chil’ren, sometimes a body has to yield the floor to the fool for the masses to see him for the fool that he is.

Carry on, National Tea Party people!

Carry the fuck on!

Dearest Graydon...we need to talk.

Dearest Graydon Carter of the Vanity Fair editing Graydon Carters,

A bitch needs a moment of your time.

Let’s be frank, shall we?

You know that I know that you know that I know that your latest cover of alleged “It” celebrities had more to do with how Vanity Fair defines beauty than true it-ness.

No need to argue or defend.

I get it, son!

I’m not going to lecture you about how worn out and tired these covers have become or how predictable the article on how the photo came together is. You’re a businessman and there must be some sort of profit in magazine cover concept regurgitation behind Vanity Fair’s addiction to magazine cover concept regurgitation.

But, Graydon…honey, sweetie, darling...proclaiming that those actors reflect the "new Hollywood" is the very definition of wrongness!

Plenty of writers are calling you out on this shit, m’dear, and I won’t chew the remnants of a well-chewed bone.

I will simply add my voice to the chorus – the cover of the latest version of Vanity Fair’s New Hollywood issue is less diverse that a group photo of interns at the Heritage Foundation and fails to acknowledge the break-out performances of up and coming actors of color despite the fact that this year has seen break-out performances from up and coming actors of color.

That ain’t new, Graydon.

That’s business as usual.

My gods, man…that cover is a freakish look-a-like of a debutant class photo from the Veiled Prophet Ball!

Pause…consider…continue.

Have you been hanging out with that Chris Matthews?

Blink.

Sincerely tired of this tired ass shit,

Shark-Fu

Pondering what proposed legislation says about the legislators proposing it…

Happy February, people!

Let’s jump right in, shall we?

First, a bitch’s standard St. Louis Post-Dispatch website link warning – the comment section of Stltoday.com has a condition known as BigotryHateRanciditis, which manifests itself through hateful comments full of inaccurate assumptions about people of color, poor people, immigrants and LGBT people. Read with caution!

Onward!

Missouri legislators have proposed a bill that would require welfare recipients to pass drug tests in order to receive aide.

Some legislators say this legislation will protect taxpayers.

Other Missouri legislators, like Sen. Patrick Dougherty (D-St. Louis), point out that the bill singles out poor people and suggest that the legislation should be expanded to include anyone who receives state funding for anything. In the spirit, Rep. Maria Chappelle-Nadal (D-University City) has already proposed a separate bill that would require drug testing for legislators and their staff.

My initial reaction to this shit was disgusted frustration. The assumption that folks on welfare are rampant drug users is flawed and Lawd help us if the grand plan proposed by the Republican majority in the Missouri House and Senate to solve this states major budget problems is mandatory drug testing for poor people receiving welfare.

But after some thought…and a second cup of coffee…a bitch began to ponder what this kind of legislation says about the legislator who proposed it and those who support it.

This is the kind of legislation that makes a bitch wonder about a person’s knowledge base and, thus, question whether they are fit to hold office and legislate.

Do they have a habit of legislating based on rumor and assumptions?

Yes, mandatory drug testing for welfare recipients is disturbing and unethical in it’s singling out of poor people who are not the only folks in the state who receive aide funded by taxpayers. But a bitch is also disturbed by the fact that this apparently reactionary legislation has been proposed without the motivating fuel of…well, facts.

The bill assumes that there will be a benefit to taxpayers…because it assumes that there are a lot of welfare recipients on drugs...but where are the numbers?

They might not be there. Hell, Rep. Chuck Gatschenberger (R-Lake Saint Louis) acknowledges that there isn’t a problem of widespread drug use among Missouri teachers but he’s still proposing drug testing to crack down before there is a problem…and that assumes that Missouri teachers are poised on the brink of an orgy of illegal drug use.

With so many real and inarguable problems facing Missourians, is it too much to ask for Missouri legislators to address those problems before using the people’s time and money to pontificate about alleged problems and suspected abuse?

Do these legislators have any clue about addiction?

It seems as if these lawmakers think that addiction is something folks indulge in because they can get over on the system. But addiction is a medical issue and needs to be addressed with more treatment programs and options…which would also help address any potential abuse of tax-payer dollars by helping Missourians get off of drugs instead of punishing them for being addicted to drugs.

But that’d be too much like right…right?

Sigh.

Yes, the state of Arizona has already passed legislation based on previous drug testing legislation proposed in Missouri…and yes, Arizona claims that their requirements will save their state millions of dollars. That may or may not be true. What we do know is that these laws do little to nothing to address the issue of drug addiction in Missouri…and for the record, drug addiction is not exclusive to the ‘hood any more than welfare recipients are exclusive to the ‘hood.

If state legislators want to pass laws that protect tax-payers while assisting our communities then they’ll propose legislation that helps folks address their addiction, helps families stay fed and remain housed while loved ones are addressing their addiction and they'd set aside this kind of panderific bullshit.

Pause...consider...continue.

But that assumes that these legislators want to pass laws that protect tax-payers while assisting our communities and this bitch must confess that I have little proof that that’s their motivation on all manner of topics.

Blink.

The Audacity of Getting Shit Done…

Shall we?

Last night, President Obama gave a long and detailed State of the Union address in front of the people who are part of shaping the state of this union…and yes, that includes all of us.

Obama spoke about job creation and health care and Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and a lot more.

Republicans responded by saying that Obama is trying to do too much…which a bitch thinks is a rather telling response, given that they could have said he shouldn’t be trying to do this or that. Instead, the GOP is almost conceding the point that all that shit needs to get done…they just don’t think it can get done at the same time.

Blink.

The full text of Obama’s State of the Union can be found here.

Anyhoo, here’s my take on Obama’s first year…musically.

He started out with Signed Sealed Delivered I’m Yours…won the election to the tune of A Change is Gonna Come…began his presidency with Can You Feel It? by the Jackson Five..quickly found himself confronted with liberal singing I Hate Myself for Loving You, conservatives shouting Reba's You Lie (off key, but loud as a motherfucker)…and then independents started to singing D-I-V-O-R-C-E, so Obama ended last week feeling the hell out of Viva la Vida.

Now, Obama is back with I Will Survive and trying to work toward some All Fired Up from Pat Benatar.

Meanwhile the GOP is anticipating the joy of playing Mozart’s Requiem.

The masses are trying to turn the volume down on all of it.

The state of the union is that the union needs to experience and participate in the audacity of getting shit done and getting it done right.

We, the people, need jobs…and health care reform is not separate from that no matter what some GOP politician who lusts for a 2010 revival says.

We, the people, need to be educated and trained to tackle the new jobs we need…and those jobs will require the economy to get over the plague and part of getting over the plague is reforming health care.

All this shit is connected, damn it.

I get that…I wish the GOP would get it too so they could be part of the solution and offer some suggestions instead of being a party capable only of critique yet incapable of generating a viable proposal of their own.

Yeah, I get the connectitude…and I sincerely hope the Democrats get it too, because not only is all this policy shit connected to our recovery but it is also connected to many a Democrat’s political future.

I get it…and I understand that we the people have a role in it too. We need to hold folks accountable and that's gonna take a hell of a lot more than a bunch of tea party fuss festivals or group sessions of liberal disgust.

We need to get shit done and do it right…or we’ll all be hearing that damn Viva la Vida song on a non-stop loop for the next three years while suffering the consequences of not doing a damn thing for fear of doing anything.

The state of the union is that we are paused at a crossroads…whether we turn left or right remains to be seen.

Maybe we won't turn at all.

Blink.

Chris Matthews, post-racialism and acceptable blackness…

Let’s jump right on in.

A bitch didn’t see it…I fell asleep watching the Blues hockey game (we were robbed!!) and wouldn’t have been watching the State of the Union on MSNBC anyway because Chris Mathews works my nerves…but apparently Mr. Matthews defined post-racialness on air last night.

Matthews…
"I was trying to think about who he was tonight. It's interesting: he is post-racial, by all appearances. I forgot he was black tonight for an hour. You know, he's gone a long way to become a leader of this country, and passed so much history, in just a year or two. I mean, it's something we don't even think about. I was watching, I said, wait a minute, he's an African-American guy in front of a bunch of other white people. And here he is president of the United States and we've completely forgotten that tonight — completely forgotten it. I think it was in the scope of his discussion. It was so broad-ranging, so in tune with so many problems, of aspects, and aspects of American life that you don't think in terms of the old tribalism, the old ethnicity. It was astounding in that regard. A very subtle fact. It's so hard to talk about. Maybe I shouldn't talk about it, but I am. I thought it was profound that way."

Cough.

This is America, the land of rich white men who can say anything anytime about anyone without consequences and the television networks that love them, so a bitch doesn’t expect Matthews to get called out for this one.

As a matter of fact, fuck it…why call him out for clarifying his use of post-racial for the masses?

Chris Matthews is all for a post-racial America…hell, he’s been trying to speak it into being since the Democratic primary season began two years ago. He believes that progress is made when folks who can’t deal with difference are able to simply not see difference and thus no longer discriminate based on difference because they can’t act on something they can’t see. That’s post-racialism for ya!

Usually achieving post-racialism is the responsibility of the person or people of color involved in a situation. The same is true here – Matthews explains that Obama has allowed for the fog of post-racialism to set in during the State of the Union…and properly obscure his vision…by being a leader, presenting a broad-reaching discussion and blah, blah followed by blah. As a result, President Obama has proven himself to be acceptably black by creating an environment in which folks like Matthews can forget that he’s…um, black.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Now, lots of folks like this post-racial shit because they like to think that they don’t see color or difference…many of them are trying not to see color or difference…and most of them prefer working toward that goal of non-seeingness because it is easier than working on their issues with race and difference.

A bitch calls that bullshit…post-racialist like Matthews are more than delusional, they are insulting and ig’nant with it.

By his very words Matthews is admitting that he’s got serious issues with race…not the he looks different from me or she sounds so black kind of issues but rather he looks difference and she sounds so black so that makes me uncomfortable because I fundamentally associate blackness with inadequacy kind of issues.

And that, my friends, is my problem with post-racialism – the theory that they only way folks like Chris Matthews can be comfortable with a black man in leadership is by not seeing him as a black man because they fundamentally don’t trust the worthiness of a black man in leadership.

As for acceptable blackness…well, I’m on the record about that shit and damn it all to hell and back if Matthews didn’t prove my point on that shit last night. Acceptable blackness is achieved by not being black.

My response is to say it loud…I’m black and I’m proud.

And if the only way Chris Matthews can deal with that and maintain respect is to ignore it or try to set it aside or sit back and wait for me to create a post-racial fog so his vision is properly obscured from seeing the disturbitude of my chocolate brown skin and fantabulous Afro…well, then he can kiss my black ass.

Different doesn’t mean lesser than.

And America won’t be post-racial until Americans do the inner work on that.

Next up, the State of the Union (FYI, it’s not post-racial).

Dawg drama, the State of the Union and why I'm watching hockey...

Lawd, what a day.

Betsey the sorta-beagle had another incident of food aggression...and added another scar to Theo the other sorta-beagle's snout.

Wine.

Theo got in a few of his own, so a bitch had major dawg drama this morning.

Wince again.

Betsey never used to be food aggressive, but she's changed as she's gotten older.

Sigh.

Anyhoo, I've got the State of the Union scheduled in the TiVo...but shall watch some ice hockey live, 'cause my nerves are too bad to deal with political shit just yet.

Rest assured...a bitch shall view and post about it by morning.

Pause...consider...continue.

Knowing our federal government, odds are an ice hockey fight/sorta-beagle food brawl will break out on the floor mid speech and tie my entire day's worth of drama together.

Blink.

Toodles for now...

...a bitch hears a vodka cran calling my name!

The Veritas Conspiracy…

A bitch spent yesterday at an awesome training in Jefferson City!

You know a training is good when even the tax law segment is interesting as hell.

Fantabulous!

Anyhoo, I returned home to some interesting veritas about a certain James O'Keefe and his friends and a break-in and some phone bugging.

Off topic – Reports say O'Keefe said "Veritas" as he left jail having posted bail. Gawd, this man is priceless! Did James O’Keefe go to Harvard or does he just like the sound of the word veritas?

I'm pretty sure he doesn't understand what it means.

Blink.

Yeah, um…so, a certain James O’Keeffe of the heavy on the conservative funding but light on the actual veritas O’Keefes has allegedly demonstrated that he skipped history class when they covered Watergate by allegedly (wink) participating in a cheap ass wanna be Watergate style break-and-bug operation at the office of Senator Landrieu.

And get this, he taped himself doing it!

Lawd, have mercy.

The allegation – according to an FBI affidavit, James “Vertitas” O'Keefe recorded two other suspects with his cell phone as they walked into the office dressed like telephone repairman (he does like his costumes, doesn’t he?) and said they needed to fix problems with the phone system.

That ain’t veritas.

‘Tisn’t even veritasish!

ABC News reports… "A federal law enforcement official said one of the suspects was picked up in a car a couple of blocks away with a listening device that could pick up transmissions. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because the information was not part of an FBI affidavit that described the circumstances of the case.”

A bitch is dying to know if they were dressed up like pimps and taping themselves getting their G. Gordon Liddy on in that car too.

The alleged veritas conspirators – James “Veritas” O’Keefe (known tool who entrapped ACORN employees in a taped sting and has been dining out on it...like a pimp...since), Stan Dai (a DC based conservative operative with lots of "connections" listed in his multiple biographies) and Robert Flanagan, son of William Flanagan who is the acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana.

The veritas – if this is a political "prank" then Watergate was a field trip gone wrong and if these allegations result in convictions these fools are looking at 10 years in jail.

Blink again.

Veritas can set you free…

…or it can send your happy ass to jail.

Just ask G. Gordon Liddy!

Pause…consider…continue.

Oh, and someone needs to tell these assholes that Harvard wants their motto back…