Wednesday, December 07, 2005

A bitch's first autograph...

A bitch's migraine is gone. Oh thank Gawd! Shit, that was nasty...

It would seem that my plan to counter recent bitterness worked! Well...a bitch is still bitter, but not like before.


Anyhoo, this bitch's post on the dreamed based correction of a certain Rumsfeld will have to wait until tomorrow. My ass has a funny thing to share with y'all...

A bitch was driving back from lunch munching on French fries and singing loudly along with Marvin about What's Going On when a police car pulled up beside me and rolled down it's window.

Oh shit!

Is it my Texas plates which should have been changed years ago?

Is it my completely out of date everything?

How bad will the ticket be?

Oh, shit! Ooooooh shit!

Police officer to a bitch..."I've got to ask you...where'd you get that bumper sticker?"

Bumper sticker? What? Then it dawned on me...the AngryBlackBitch bumper sticker on the ass of the Cabrio.

Oh shit!

ABB, trying to play it cool..."Cafe Press. It's for my blog and the bumper sticker came from my Cafe Press store."

Police officer with a laugh..."Really? My wife loves your blog. She reads you all the time. Could I have an autograph for her?"

ABB, in shock..."Sure."

Autograph signed. Smile and wave. Police officer pulls off and a bitch groans.

Jesus, my ass needs to take a day off and take care of the Cabrio's shit... was funny. Now that it's over.

Dear Natalie with the police officer husband, thanks for reading a bitch. Oh, and my ass will be taking care of those plates ASAP! Promise!



notfornothin said...

make sure to slip his name in if and when you get pulled over again.

Anonymous said...

That is hilarious! I am impressed! You are more popular than a good pair of Minolo's

Lisa said...

Now that is IMPRESSIVE!! You are a celebrity for sure, girl.

Anonymous said...

Good to know that if a certain angry black law student is in the Lou...I can ask does your wife read A certain ABB?? to throw him off the ticket writing trail!

Maven said...


bitchphd said...

Wow, that's awesome! I knew about getting out of tickets with stickers showing you donated to the police fundraiser for whatever-it-was, but not ABB bumper stickers! Awesome!

Anonymous said...

I am a new reader and now addict, and think an ABB bumper sticker is a prime way to use charm to get out of tickets...
BTW: thanks for all the work and inspiration.

Susan D. said...

It does sorta bug me that a police officer thinks it's OK to use his pull-em-over authority to ask about the source of a BUMPER STICKER... what if you were just one of the legions of ABB fans? It was purest luck he got the geniune article, you know. He thinks he can just pull someone over to ask where he can buy his wife a bumper sticker?! But anyway, congrats on your new star status!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, ABB! It has to feel good knowing your brilliant writing has touched someone you may have otherwise not known about. Wonderful, indeed.

Hammer said...

Hey ABB!

Okay, I love that your plates aren't changed. Mine are still IL but it seems like Texas is much more of a threat to Mo that IL. I mean, at least I can pretend that I commute!

Love that you signed an autograph. Good times!

Big news here..basically, one of the new contributors to my blog works with a law firm and came across some documents regarding secrecy in the Church (this person was asked to copy them!)...back from the 60s? 70s? or something. Of course my anarchist friends are more than willing to share inside information...I can't wait to get your opinion on it!



i am running into a new year and the old years blow back like a wind that i catch in my hair like strong fingers like all my old promises an...