Wednesday, December 07, 2005

All about Katie and a bitch's question regarding a third dawg...

A bitch is torn.

It seems that a certain Katie Couric may be leaving the Today Show. While this bitch would love to see her go…a bitch can’t stand that heifer…my ass is also torn about what the future holds!

Katie may go to CBS. Well, their morning show can’t get any worse, but would they put that evil heifer into the prime time news slot? Jesus, are they crazy? And she’s already out of control…with that kind of power she’d be over the top out of control!

And what about the Today Show? Will they move Ann Curry into Katie's slot? A bitch used to adore Ann, but then her overly emotional delivery got on my nerves. Top that with the fact that she is a 'close talker' and chicks leaning in on Matt tend to freak him out. It might not work. Al and Matt? Could be…it could happen…NOT! Morning television is all about the mimicking of heterosexual couples, so two men or two women just won’t do.

What to do, what to do?

And what if Katie stays? She’ll have brought NBC to their knees! Jesus to Gawd, it’ll be like Napoleon swaggering into Paris…only Katie has a good two feet on him.

Oh the drama!

A bitch would love to see her go if my ass thought that the content would improve. But it won’t.

On the flip side, a bitch wouldn’t have to endure Katie’s prissy assed perfection anymore.

Shit…a bitch might even miss her.

Fuck it.

This bitch plans to switch to Animal Planet in the mornings anyway.

Speaking of Animal Planet...

A bitch and a bitch's sister are seriously considering getting another dawg. We already have Sweetie the Three Legged Chow and Betsey the Sorta-Beagle. They don't get along most of the time. The vet told us they'd get over it, but that hasn't happened.

So, a bitch would like to ask multiple dawg/pet parents...how do you add a third to the family without causing a war to break out?

Just let me know...

Toodles until tomorrow, chil'ren!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get a Bichon and move Betsey & Sweetie to an ABB's cousin's house.

Anonymous said...

You already have two dogs who don't get along. Why would you want a third to make their lives even more stressed? Think about what's best for your dogs and their wants, not yours. Yeah the dogs in the pound need to be adopted, but it should be into an environment where they'll be happy, not stressed.

Mr. Brian said...

The only thing I can give you is the knowledge that, like people, animals can be very jealous. This could even be the case with Betsy & Sweetie. They each may be thinking that the other one gets more attention from you and your sister. Unfortunately, like people, pets can also have personality clashes.

Good luck with your decision!

AOB said...

Dogs are very possessive of their owners. Madison our shih tzu goes ballistic if I say "I am gonna get the Daddy".

We have thought about another dog but our vet has advised us that we need to let HER pick the other dog.

Good luck.

Anonymous said...

"Jesus to Gawd, it’ll be like Napoleon swaggering into Paris…only Katie has a good two feet on him."

1. bigoted

2. wrong

NoIvory said...

Anon, why don't you lighten the fuck up. You're a downer.

Romani Heart said...

I don't know much about politics, but dogs, now there's a subject I can go on about. I've got three, all mutts. They have their issues, but most of the time it's pretty peaceful. Have you ever seen the Dog Whisperer on the National Geographic channel? I've applied some of his principals with my own crew and it seems to work.

Shark-fu said...

Great advice regarding the possible addition of a dawg! A bitch is dawg crazy, but have no fear that my ass would ever do anything to upset Betsey or Sweetie...they actually like other dawgs, just not each other.

Y'all are the best and a bitch will certainly keep y'all posted!

BarefootCajun said...

I wouldn't get a dog bigger than either Betsey or Sweetie nor one that was a lot smaller. Introduce them in small doses and always make sure that Betsey and Sweetie get equal attention. Encourage their calm behavior and walk away from bad bahavior with the new dog in tow.

I love the first annon. comment about a Bichon. They are wonderful pups. We love our two. But I wouldn't move Betsey and Sweetie off just to get a Bichon.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for getting another dog! I got my dog from the city pound in March, and it kind of bothered me that people told me not to get a dog because "they're a lot of work". No kidding, but they also provide an unconditional love that you don't get from people, the least we can do is to give them a good family and a home. I would tell people not to get a dog from a breeder, but to rescue as many as you can financially afford to. If your dogs like other dogs, I'm sure they'll enjoy the dynamics of adding another to the pack. Maybe they would even like a cat? I'm also glad to hear you have Stray Rescue dogs, I'm getting a foster dog from them soon! They are a great organization.

Shark-fu said...

Congrats Unknown One on your future Stray Rescue foster! Our family adores them!

Dawgs are work, but they are worth every second of it.

Betsey was adopted from a pound and Sweetie from Stray Rescue. We are considering a Stray Rescue foster with an option to adopt...

And thanks to everyone for the advice!

Anonymous said...

NoIvory, did you post the same thing about King Kong?

Why? No taste for bullshit. That's why.

Sarah does Europe said...

Since I found your delightful blog though Salon.com, I thought I'd post something I saw there today, that might amuse you as much as it did me

"Someone at NBC penned a rhyme about Katie Couric in the vein of Clement Clarke Moore's "A Visit From St. Nicholas." The poem ends with the following lines: "It is now being rumored/That this diva's views/Will soon be transported/To CBS News/As NBC viewers/We say with delight/Oh please let that rumor/Be one hundred percent right."

Anonymous said...

I am now DUMBER for having read this. I'm grateful today for knowing the english language and not sounding like some homeless transvestite begging for change at the wendys door. Oy Vey.

Shark-fu said...

Well, I'm feeling SUPERIOR for have read your comment.

I'm grateful for knowing the English (caps, dear) language and not sounding like some bigoted homophobe with class privilege issues who likes to drop Anonymous comments on 4 year old posts.

Zay gesunt!