Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Baking in the city and pondering politics…

Confession #1 – I was more than a little surprised by the Supreme Court’s ruling on the Affordable Care Act.  As a matter of fact, I spent the entire pre-ruling morning getting myself prepared to witness a festival of anti-health care joy break out ‘mongst those who adore tea.  Now, I’ve got more than a few issues with ACA…’cause enjoying health care without access is like trying to eat soup with your hands tied behind your back.  But I also know that this country is nothing if not inefficient and nasty with it when it comes to reforming shit that needs to be reformed.  We are what we are.

Confession #2 – I hate the heat and it is hot as hell!  Trust that a bitch is bitter…beyond bitter…so bitter that I’d have a fit if I weren’t so damned tired from the fucking heat.


Shall we?

I woke up this morning to a news bit about how Governor Christie of New Jersey is being considered as a possible Vice Presidential candidate for Mitt Romney.  Christie joins Senator Marco Rubio, and [insert conservative white man here] as possible VP candidates.

Pause…sip coffee…continue.

Team Romney has made it clear…well, hold up…not really.

Team Romney is trying to be very unclear.

They are trying to keep the VP search hushed up so that they can get the most out of the announcement and because they face a HUGE challenge.

I’m serious!

Romney’s people are making a meal with Mitt as the main dish.

Mitt is…well, um…he’s like baked fish.  A rather dry and unseasoned baked fish…probably flounder.

While some of his team is testing sauces like an economic plan or alternative health care plan, the other members are searching for a side dish to compliment bland baked fish. 

Anyone who has ever been to an awards dinner knows that no sauce can hydrate dried out chicken or fish.  But Mitt is what he is…the fish is done and Team Romney is going to be serving likely voters flounder until November.

And anyone who has ever put a meal together by committee in hopes of making it appealing knows that this side dish issue is some drama.  The natural instinct may be to choose a wild and unpredictable dish like Christie…but Governor Christie isn’t easy to make.  On any given day it may be too spicy or power through the digestive system with all the relentless fury of bad sushi.  If people get the runs then they may blame the flounder Mitt Romney and decide that Romney with a side of Christie is not something they want to ever have again, thank you very much. 

Senator Rubio is a more predictable and appealing side dish…but it is also the "it" side dish and conservatives just adore dining on it.  Odds are Rubio will overpower Romney flounder like Palin Fricassee drowned out McCain meatloaf in 2008.

Pause…sip more coffee...consider…continue.

The problem for Team Romney is that {insert conservative white man here] ain’t a good default side dish.  Most of those dudes are just as bland as baked flounder.  They won’t overpower…but bland with a side of bland is not the kind of meal to make the masses line up outside the restaurant voting booth.

Oh well, time will tell what the GOP serves in November.

***logs off with the image of conservatives fighting in the kitchen over how much Emeril Essence to dump on Romney***


sass said...

Thanks for my morning laugh! Your article is thoughtful, humorous and provocative. It's food for my brain.

SimplyStated said...

There is not enough Essence in the world to make this man seem anymore than what he is...unappealing, phony, boring, out-of-touch, a proven liar and someone who cannot be trusted to support anything for an extended period of time unless it will get him more money or some votes.

He ain't just fish...he's 3 day old fish that has overstayed its welcome.And no amount of Rubio Mild Salsa for White Conservatives or Christie Volcanic Vinegar can help it.

As for the heat, I'm done. Its been over a 100 degrees in Colorado for more than 3 weeks.

jsb16 said...

Sadly, there are people in NJ who might vote for Romney/Christie just to get Christie out of the governor's mansion. (And there are those who adore tea in NJ, too, sadly...)

Stella said...

What - you don't think it'll be Pawlenty?

Is there a less intriguing mystery on earth than this one?

Shark-Fu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shark-Fu said...

Ah, Stella...I'm thinking it hasn't been decided yet.

I'm betting it will be Pawlenty but not without some agonizing. Mitt needs to comfort the evangelical fringe and Pawlenty will do that.

But Romney-Pawlenty 2012 is about as exciting as baked flounder with a side of white rice.

They've got to turn out based on this team...just like the left will have to turn out based on fear of it.

We shall see...

Anonymous said...

It'll be Rob Portman from Ohio, so thankfully you don't have to worry about hearing more about Christie. The amount of Christie in the public consciousness is already too much as it is, sadly. Nice article.

jaykam said...

"Mitt is like ... baked fish." You are so right - no substance, no flavor, no (structural) integrity. I LOVE IT!


The Gumdrop Stage of Grief ...

So many of you have shared condolences and support after the death of my beloved brother Bill from COVID-19. I wish I could thank you indiv...