Thursday, September 15, 2011

Pondering a very special session…

Let’s jump on in!

I'm a political junkie and I’ve watched as liberals attack each other over loyalty versus criticism…conservatives attach each other over what the definition of conservative is…and so-called Main Street Americans express disgust over the state of all things plus the price of milk.

And the only thing everyone can agree on is jobs…jobs, jobs, jobs, JOBS!

This is where bitchitude demands that we pause and then consider.

Politics is local.

In my home state of Missouri we have a hell of a lot of state-based politics to wade through before we can turn our gaze toward Washington DC and get our fuss on about how FUBAR things are there.

Now catch that knee…CATCH IT!

That does not mean that people should not be critical of Congress or the Obama administration.

It just means that people need to brush up on basic School House Rock civics, remember that the federal government isn’t the only place making policy…and take a good long hard look at their state government to see if they aren’t fucking shit up their damn selves.

State legislators…and folks would do well to remember that each state has a bunch of those legislating all manner of things…are gathered to address some stuff Governor Nixon wants to get done that they didn’t get done during session because…well, let’s just say the 2011 session was held hostage by an outbreak of political posturing and pandering that got in the way of things like um, legislating.

So, Missouri state lawmakers are getting their Special Session on.  They have been tasked with deciding things like whether to return local control of the police department back to St. Louis city.

This dates back to the Civil War.

Yes, I’m serious.


State legislators also need to pass a package of tax breaks intended to make Lambert Airport a hub for freight flown between China and the Midwest.

That project, known as Aerotropolis, is a big fucking deal and holds the potential of long-term economic growth, construction, and…maybe even jobs.


Suffice it to say that this shit got mired in the muck fast.

And the choir asked… “Is it the same Democrat versus Republican power struggle mess that usually derails legislation?”

And a bitch replied… “Um, no.”

The GOP controls both the Missouri House and Senate…but that hasn’t stopped power struggles or political drama and it certainly hasn’t created an environment where legislation flows easily like shit from a well regulation intestinal tract.

The struggle to get anything done under the dome in Missouri is a good example of what many states face and why a lot of important stimulating things stall.

It’s like our state Assembly has a bowel obstruction…and, as the pressure grows and cramps kick in, legislators begin to make revisions and deals in desperate attempts to get shit moving again.

Year after year we see the same obstruction…um, issue.

And year after year folks look around wide-eyed and confused about why they can’t take a shit pass important legislation.

You know and I know that you know that I know that all eyes are on DC right now.

But I’m here to tell ya, what 's got the Missouri Assembly illish isn’t sourced in DC or the result of traditional donkey vs. elephant partisan politics.


I’d hold out hope for a Fiber Therapy bill, but odds are the Republican leadership in Jefferson City would reject is as socialist junk and demand that everyone eat more cheese...

...and then they'd start arguing over what cheese is the best cheese and which cheese Reagan would have eaten and how they've been eating the Reagan cheese since they were kids but [insert rival's name here] is actually lactose intolerant so she/he is a lying about liking Reagan cheese and shouldn't there be an Anti-Fiber fetal heartbeat pledge because we need to protect the pre-born from bran and wasn't there a rumor that fiber has the HPV vaccine in it so anyone supporting fiber clearly hates America and anyone not eating cheese wants to destroy our freedom and Beck said the Founders rarely took a shit but look what they accomplished...



rental elf said...

Nice article, thanks for the information.

Anonymous said...

You know, people say that the legislative process is similar to sausage-making. But I rather prefer the shitting metaphor you propose!

HAHA! Passing bills like "shit out of a well-regulated intestinal tract..." Brilliant.

RisanP said...

Missouri doesn't have a problem passing legislation controlling/limiting abortion or access to women's health.

snjmom said...

Well said, sister!

Maybe the start of the Fiber Party.

Anonymous said...

God has absolutely no need whatever to shit.

Anonymous said...

OK, Sharky-fu. Maybe my last comment could offend someone's religious sensibility. Good, because there's nothing like the tyranny of political correctness (first imprison the language; second, imprison the people) I wouldn't wish to offend, especially as I am deeply religious myself, recognizing the GABM (Great and Beautiful Mystery); and also understand how vexed bigots of all persuasions can become (just look at Osama Bin). So I think you should publish this comment too! The last paragraph of your article is supreme, and oh so true, as usual. For God's sake everybody: Eat more cheese and nevermind the toilet tissue!

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