Thursday, December 01, 2005

The plan...

Finally, the plan for victory is available to the masses…

Victory in Iraq is defined in the following…well, um…terms.

Short term, Iraq is making steady progress in fighting terrorists, meeting political milestones, building democratic institutions, and standing up security forces.

Medium term, Iraq is in the lead defeating terrorists and providing its own security, with a fully constitutional government in place, and on its way to achieving its economic potential.

Longer term, Iraq is peaceful, united, stable, and secure, well integrated into the international community, and a full partner in the global war on terrorism.

Let’s just take this one term at a time, shall we?

Short Term…
We seem to be stuck here, don’t we? Iraq is not making much progress fighting terrorists in Iraq. Hell, we aren’t making much progress fighting terrorists in Iraq! It remind a bitch of watching my mother sweep…the dust and dirt just moved around wildly until she finally just said fuck it and left a pile of the shit unaddressed in the middle of the floor. Some political milestones have been met, but this bitch isn’t laying money on Iraq building any democratic institutions in the near future. Oh, and those security forces…Lawd, let’s not even get into those security forces!

Medium term…
A bitch is just going to assume that insurgents are the same as terrorists…y’all really need to choose your word and stick to it, because this shit is confusing. Insurgents, evildoers, terrorists, Jihadists, Saddamists…Lawd have mercy! Anyhoo…leading the way in blah, blah, blah. How do you define ‘leading the way’? A bitch understands a fulfilling functioning constitutional government…that’s got to count for something. But, if we anticipate Iraq achieving its economic potential in the medium term (and what the fuck is a medium term, anyway) then why the fuck are we running around asking countries to forgive Iraqi debt? And why is gas so fucking expensive? And why are we paying for everything...why not open up a fucking tab? Fuckers! Make sense!

Long term…
Oh, fuck it!

America isn’t peaceful, united or well integrated into the international community. Fuck it to hell and back again!

Shit.

This plan scares the hell out of me. It reads like an RC Cola Plan of Attack Brief against Coca Cola…delusional, unrealistic regarding the task ahead, lacking in depth and fuck up from front to back.

Lawd, give me strength…

12 comments:

Elizabeth said...

I pull an Elvis every time Dubya comes on the television (minus the gun--the floor around my TV is littered with projectiles) but I managed to watch this little speech.

This is why I hate patriarchy. Men, too blinded by their own egos and too proud to admit that they've fucked up, continue to dig themselves a hole... it's happened for millenia. And while the quagmire over there might affect his approval ratings, that's all it will ever mean to him. His children aren't fighting, we're paying for his gas and heat, and despite his cute little sound bytes, I doubt he considers Iraqis as "equal" as Americans, and certainly not as "equal" as himself and his rich buddies. Millions of Iraqis dead and injured, and who gives a shit?

He needs to figure out that victory is impossible, bow out as gracefully as he can, and resign. (Oh, and take Dick, Rummy, Condi, Roberts, Turd-Blossom, and Alito with him.)

dmfinny said...

And our "victory" will be aided by this. Who said colonialism is dead?

Ian Davis said...

Do you only believe the propaganda you read in newspapers and hear on TV? I am sorry to say this but you do not have a clue what you are talking about. First of all, Bush has absolutely no control over the gas prices you babbling bitch. Since that is title you claim right? DUH!? Thats like telling Bill Gates to lower the price of Windows which is way too much in my opinion. But are you complaining about that? Learn the laws. Dummy.
Spend some time on a military base and ask the troops who are going there how we feel about the progress and the TRUTH about the war. Don't base your opinions off of what a couple of jackass pansy folks in the military who were too pussy to stay and fight say. The people who believe in what we are doing do not say much. They do not have the time because we have an obligation and a mission to do. We are too focused on the real purposes. Oh, and you better believe WMD's were in Iraq. We just can not find them. Iraq is the size of Texas. You go look for some.

Shark-fu said...

Ian, what do you hope to accomplish? And that's an angry black bitch...who plans to leave the babbling to you. A bitch expects more depth out of 23 year old Air Force reservists/marketing executives from Georgia! You, however, should log off and go back to work. And get a hold of yourself...shit, you must be bursting blood vessels in your cube!

That just not healthy, son!

tigerlilly said...

What in the blue blazes of hell???? Ian just lost his mind. You spell the TRUTH about the war on a daily basis. Folks get really hurt when you aren't as vapid as they are. I guess that's just a consequence of blindly believing a Presidential idiot.

"The people who believe in what we are doing do not say much."

That's likely because they are muttering to themselves in disbelief.

"They do not have the time because we have an obligation and a mission to do"

That obligation and mission would be what???? Mother fuckers have an obligation and a mission to rebuild the gulf coast and that shit aint happening. Obligation and mission my ass.

"Oh, and you better believe WMD's were in Iraq. We just can not find them. Iraq is the size of Texas. You go look for some."

Yes ABB YOU go look for the WMD's. You'd probably find them where we already knew they were: in N Korea and Iran. I seriously stand by my belief that 1. we are in Iraq b/c Georgie is an ignorant ass, self indulgant frat boy sociopath, and 2. we went into Iraq b/c the inept govn't underestimated the "enemy" and fully expected a repeat of Gulf War I not realizing that the disdain for America's international policies has grown exponentially since then. Even I knew that.

Yikes.

Hammer said...

Hey ABB! and Poor Poor Ian!

Saw that the Pres. was called for Jury Duty...what's with that? Are you colluding with the Pres?

Everytime you talk about something on here it ends up in international news, while the rest of us measly bloggers have to take news to write about...hmmmm.

Poor Poor Ian. Poor Poor Poor poor Ian.

"we who believe in peace will not rest until it comes!"

Hammer said...

And another thing!

Like it 'manyly' and praise worthy to stay and fight. Perhaps real men (i.e. your Lord and Savior JESUS) commit themselves to NON-VIOLENCE! And perhaps REAL MEN don't exploit the honorable nature in every Human to stand up for what they believe!

poor poor Ian!

Shark-fu said...

Colluding with Scooter, my black ass!

A bitch may ritualistical correct him with the merciless rod of bitchitude nightly in my dreams, but that's the extent of our interactions.

However, The Man has been logging on more often these days...

This bitch may send Ian some cookies...he so clearly needs love.

Cheetarah1980 said...

Schnikies!! Ian seems perturbed. Oh well. How can you believe in what you're fighting for when the cause changes every other day? Or maybe you just believe in everything? Beats me.

Virginia Gal said...

I couldn't agree with you more ABB, this whole "war" has been a mess and I fear we are going to be stuck in Iraq for a long time.
Colonialism is alive and well in the 21st century!

Sue Woo said...

Shouldn't Ian join the Army? And go? Maybe he can find WMDs.

Anonymous said...

Ian said: Spend some time on a military base and ask the troops who are going there how we feel about the progress and the TRUTH about the war.

I used to be in the military. I recall that servicemen and women are provided very little information ... and provided virtually no info that contradicts the "mission" as defined by the Pentagon.

And many volunteers for the military lean sharply to the Right before they enter boot camp. So they're pre-disposed to accept Bush's line of hogwash.