Thursday, September 13, 2007

Presidential address preparedness…

Faithful flock of bitchitude members know that this bitch always watches Scooter B. when he addresses the nation (wince). Well, Scooter B. plans to get his speech on tonight and this bitch will be watching.

Shit needed to achieve preparitude for Scooter B.’s address to the nation and the scorecard …

The meal…
Yummified barbeque scored on the way home from work.
Corn bread… because life ain’t worth living without cornbread.
Lettuce-based salad with red wine vinaigrette

The drink…
Vodka… tonight we worship the Swedish god of vodka-based joy
Cran… the 100% for real deal, baby!
Water… it is a school night.

The scorecard…
Note - since fubarism flows away from progress, we’ll be subtracting points tonight.

Use of the words “bottom up” to describe political progress in Iraq
-3 points
Give 2 spanks upon nearest bottom and take one sip of vodka cran.
Non-spanking option – 3 sips vodka cran

Reference to “laying the groundwork”
-2 points
2 sips vodka cran or one large gulp

If he refers to the drawing down of troops to pre-escalation levels as a “withdrawal”
-5 points
2 shots vodka

Use of star fucking language to describe General Petraeus
-2 points
Drink a glass of water

A recap with point totals will follow the speech.

11 comments:

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Dear BlackAfroWoman,

Will you be needing a bottom to spank in the likely event that "bottom up" is worked into the theme of Moron Monkey Boy's babblings this evening?

I'm thinking of a new song. . .
Got a black afro woman,
got a black afro woman,
she's a black afro woman and she's tryin to make a devil outa me.

Apologies to Jeremy Spencer and Carlos Santana.

Sagaciously out there,
Hillbilly

Shark-fu said...

LOL!

I think I've got the bottom thing covered (wink).

You crack me up...

proudprogressive said...

yes mam, the exact propaganda lines are gonna be very very predictable esp. if you watched the Betrayus hearings - hell they have been selling it since mid august. Repeating it, orchestrating it with 911 - Its too dangerous for me to drink during this administration I would die of ETOH poisoning. Bottom line too, we all know the outcome of this = endless war until every last drop of OIL is stolen sucked out of the ground, I mean liberated and in the greedy hands of the US private OIL interests. The big snag however is that the peoples of the region do not seem to want to hand it over.

I say Not one more red cent for this war - we need to leave totally and get our diplomacy on...somehow that seems like a really quaint if not impossible concept at this point in time. It breaks my heart and infuriates at the same time.

Disgusted in St. Louis said...


I think I've got the bottom thing covered (wink).

You crack me up...


heh, intentional bottom joke? (i.e. plumber) ;^)

What are the spanks and sips for each time Scooter B. says "al Qaeda" and "Iran"?

Huntington said...

I fear your scoring system will leave Scooter B. in far, far negative territory...and bitch too plowed to recap. Zzzzzzz...

Shark-fu said...

disgusted... unintentional but aren't you clever!

As for those points I tried sips for those last year and ended up a fucked up mess and spanks...well, that would depend on the ass (wink) but I'll say 1 spank per each.

huntington...mmmhmm, it should be a 20 minute speech but I'll probably be a mess anyway.

Thank Gawd for TiVo!

Frogspond said...

Alas, Froggie doesn't drink anymore and the bottom to smack is too far away. Bummer, that would have made it bearable to watch.

Unless....

I can save up the smacks till I go to visit.

Gotta go call and find out!

proudprogressive said...

Bet he says the word "decades" at least twice for the Kool-Aide drinkers,who will fall deeper and deeper into their trance.

Dusty said...

I didn't drink..or I would of gotten toasted I fear..

But I did watch the Fuckwit-in-Chief spin his bullshit..and as per usual...


It was throughly disgusting with new buzzwords..oh joy!

RETURN ON SUCCESS..give me an effin break dude..this one I can crack a million jokes on.

Sparky said...

ABB, your scorecards have been making the recurring loads governmental ish bearable for me for a long time now. Thanks for keeping the humor and the anger going at the same time. If you're ever in my neck of the Pacific Ocean, I'll gladly treat you to a vodka cran or three.

CrankyProf said...

If I drank every time he said something dumbassed, I'd be permanently incapacitated,and insensible.

Wait. That may have merit for the next year or so...